Rock Me Harder (Licks of Leather Book 2)
Page 8
A few seconds later, the sound of water filling the tub weaved itself through the awkward pall hanging in the living room.
“Would you like something to drink?” I asked anxiously.
“Your dad already took care of that.” He nodded toward a tumbler of amber liquid next to the couch. “But feel free to get something to take the edge off if you’d like.”
There wasn’t enough booze on the planet to calm me down right now.
“I’m good.”
Darren arched his brows. “Really? You almost passed out…twice.”
“That was just the initial shock. I’m fine,” I lied, waving away his concern.
“All right. Let’s get to it then, shall we?”
He pelted me with an accusing glare, and I felt as if I was standing before a firing squad. Even though I knew Darren was probably going to deliver the mortal shot, the feral stare on his handsome face held me hostage.
That invisible draw connecting us was as soothing as it was terrifying.
“Get to what, exactly?”
“The interrogation, of course.” He flashed me a wicked smile that sent goosebumps peppering my arms. “I’ve got two years, three months, and five days’ worth of questions for you. But this time, I want to hear the truth.”
Oh, my god. He’s kept track of the days, too?
“I didn’t contact you when I found out I was pregnant because—”
“Whoa. Hold up,” he interrupted, raising his palm. “I’m asking the questions now. And we’re going to start from the beginning.”
“Fine.” I crossed my arms and nibbled my bottom lip.
“Why did you come to our concert that night?”
“To hear you guys play.”
“With the lucky ticket you won on the radio?”
My stomach twisted. Panic started sluicing through my veins. I didn’t want to participate in his interrogation. Lifting my chin, I stood and plastered on the same brittle smile I’d used all evening with Brice. “It’s been really nice seeing you again, Darren, but it’s getting late and—”
“I’m not leaving without the answers I came for, Elizabeth.”
His condescending tone confused me. I scowled. The compassionate man I’d met and fallen head over heels for was completely gone. Yes, I’d gone to his hotel room with an appalling agenda, but instead of tying a noose around his neck and submitting an exposé chocked full of lies about drugs, alcohol, and debauchery—what my contact expected—I’d saved Darren’s reputation and career.
His nostrils flared, his jaw ticked, and eyes narrowed as he stepped toward me.
“Let’s just cut to the chase.” He growled, moving in closer still. “How much?”
The heat of his body surrounded me. So did the heady familiar scent of leather, musk, and sunshine causing flutters of arousal to intertwine with the panic sweeping through me. I had to fight the urge to press my lips to his sinful mouth.
“How much did they pay you to rip my soul apart and share my pain with the entire goddamn world?”
“It wasn’t like—”
“How much?” he growled.
“Ten thousand dollars,” I whispered.
Guilt and shame consumed me. I watched his shoulders sag as the tension and anger melted from his frame. Darren flashed me a mocking smile as a derisive scoff tore from his lips. “I would have paid you fifty thousand to keep your fucking mouth shut if I’d known you were simply on an information quest. Looks like we both got screwed, doesn’t it?”
“I didn’t screw you over, Darren.”
“Oh, really?” he drawled. “What the hell else would you call it?”
“Saving your career…your reputation.”
He gaped at me as if I were from another planet. “Are you feeding me more bullshit? Or do you honestly think you did me some big fucking favor betraying me?”
“I did do you a favor whether you believe me or not.”
“How do you figure?”
“They wanted dirt on someone in the band.”
A look of pain wracked him before he scrubbed a hand over his face. “Let me get this straight. You were in the hallway not specifically for me, but for any one of us?”
Each time I opened my mouth, I sank deeper and deeper into quicksand. I closed my eyes and dragged in a heavy breath. “What I set out to do was wrong—”
“You think?” he chortled angrily. “What the hell did you need that much money for? What was so goddamn important you couldn’t live without? A new purse? A pair of shoes? A day at the spa? Tell me, Tori, I’m dying to know.”
“She needed it for me, didn’t you, baby girl?” Dad asked grimly, standing at the entrance of the hallway.
It was as if the stars had aligned and the gods demanded all my sins be revealed at that one moment in time. Suffused in guilt, I lowered my lashes as tears filled my eyes. Dad hurried into the room and wrapped me in a mighty hug.
“Aw, baby. We could have found another way.”
“I’m sorry, Daddy. I wasn’t trying to harm him, but I couldn’t bear to lose you.” A sob cracked my voice.
“Shh, what’s done is done. Dry your eyes. Dustin is waiting for his good-night kiss. I’ll explain things as best I can while you tuck him in.”
As Dad pulled away, I wiped my cheeks and dared a glance at Darren. His brows were wrinkled in confusion, but his eyes were filled with concern.
Making my way down the hall, I heard my dad begin to speak.
“Two years ago, I had to have a kidney transplant. Though I had insurance, it only covered eighty percent of the costs…”
The minute I stepped into my son’s room, Dustin threw his arms out and grinned. “Kissy, Mommy. Kissy.”
Biting back a sob, I wrapped him to my chest and pressed my lips to the top of his damp hair. I might have irrevocably screwed up everything between Darren and me, but I’d done one thing right. I’d given birth to this beautiful boy.
I sat on the edge of the bed, humming softly and rocking Dustin while Dad and Darren’s deep, masculine voices fluttered through the air. Though I couldn’t hear what they were saying, their conversation was low and, thankfully, civil.
When Dustin’s arm slid off my shoulder, I looked down and found him sound asleep. As I tucked him under the covers, I cupped his little hand and pressed a kiss to the birthmark on his wrist.
“My mom kissed mine every night when I was little, too. But you already know that,” Darren murmured from the doorway as he gazed down at our sleeping son. “Thank you for sharing that story with him.”
Ignoring his caustic dig, I swallowed tightly and nodded as I left Dustin’s room and shut the door behind me.
Though flames were no longer shooting from Darren’s eyes, I could still feel irritation pouring off his rugged frame.
“I know you’re angry and think that I betrayed you.”
“You did. And you lied. I don’t keep people in my life I can’t trust. That’s a hard limit for me.”
The thought of him walking out the door, forever this time, made my throat constrict and tears sting my eyes. I’d given the man a million reasons not to trust me, but at that moment, all I ached for was to try and earn back his faith in me.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered contritely. “I really did try to protect you.”
“While lying through your teeth, gathering as much information on me as you could so you could secure the money for your dad’s transplant.”
“Yes.”
“I understand why you set me up. But I’ll never condone your tactics. I just keep wondering why I was the unlucky bastard to get tangled up in your web.”
The gravity of how badly I’d jaded him sent the tear I tried to fight sliding down my cheek.
A heavy sigh escaped him as Darren wiped it away with the pad of his thumb. That one touch warmed me and filled the empty void I’d been living with day after day, night after night.
“But the result,” he said, nodding toward Dustin’s door, “that perf
ect little bundle of light and love sleeping inside that room was damn well worth it.”
The pride in his tone tore a sob from me. “He really is perfect.”
“I know.” Darren’s expression hardened. “I’m going to be a part of his life, Tori. I can’t turn and walk away now. You know that, right?”
All my maternal instincts suddenly launched into overdrive and I tensed. Was he planning to try and take Dustin from me? God knows Darren had the money and power to do it. Panic threatened to swallow me whole when out of the blue, the conversation we’d shared in his hotel room popped in my head.
What do your parents think about you being a famous rock star?
They’re mighty proud, but they keep me grounded, too. They don’t let me lose sight of what’s important.
What’s important to you, Darren?
Love. Family. God and the land.
There was no doubt in my mind that he already felt a world of love for Dustin and that bonding with his son was of the upmost importance to him. How he planned to be a part of our son’s life was still a mystery, but I wasn’t going to deny him the joy of knowing his child.
“You’re free to visit Dustin anytime you want to, Darren.”
“Visit?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t want to just drop by from time to time to visit my son, Tori. I want to be involved in his daily life.”
“How? You’re on tour all the time, and—”
“Not all the time. We take a few months off between tours, like now.”
“He’s too young to understand that, Darren. You can’t be a part of his every day now and then disappear for months on end. It will confuse and crush him.”
“Since I just found out I’m a father less than an hour ago, I haven’t exactly had time to iron out the logistics yet. All I’m asking is if you’re willing to work with me, or do I need to contact a lawyer?”
Panic spiked the minute he mentioned lawyering up.
“There’s no need for lawyers, Darren. I’m sure we can both behave like reasonable adults and work something out.”
“I agree. As long as Dustin is our main focus, there’s no reason we can’t come up with an amicable solution.”
In theory, it sounded plausible, but I wasn’t convinced that a part-time father was an ideal situation for our son. Still, it was better than no father at all.
“I need a little time to think all this through, okay?”
Darren nodded and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. The gesture was a poignant, painful reminder of our night together. I nearly whimpered.
“Me, too. Though I like it, being a dad, I mean.”
“I’m sor—”
“I know you’re sorry, Tori. We both are for very different reasons. Your dad just gave me your real cell phone number. I’ll text you when I get up in the morning…before I come over to have breakfast with my son.”
He flashed me a disarming, core-clutching wink and strolled away. By the time I’d iced down my hormones and revived my heart, I heard Darren thank Dad before the front door snicked shut.
I leaned back against the wall and wrapped my arms around myself, trying to harness the hope rising inside. But it was pointless. Darren Ash wasn’t gone from my life forever. In fact, he wanted to be a part of it again. Well, a part of Dustin’s at least.
I closed my eyes and tried to envision what that might look like, but all I could see was Darren’s hungry stare stripping me naked.
Chapter Five
Darren
The mile-and-a-half drive back to my hotel was a blur. Half my brain was still grappling with the fact that Dustin was my son. The other half replayed Tori walking through the front door—sans the douchebag date, of course.
I’d been so focused on getting answers, I didn’t realize until now that she hadn’t changed all that much. Her hair was a bit shorter, hips and breasts both a little fuller—no doubt from carrying our son nine months—but Tori wore those subtle changes beautifully.
The most notable difference had been in her eyes. All traces of the innocent girl were gone, replaced by a mature, self-assured woman. And I’d never forget that righteous fire blazing in her pretty blue eyes when she’d tried to tell me what she did was none of my business. Though she was way wrong, I enjoyed the hell out of her feisty side. But then, I liked the challenge of a woman with a backbone.
Once inside my hotel room, I sat down on the hard-as-fuck mattress. The only hotel in this small town couldn’t even rate half a star. But I didn’t care. I was still floating, still feeling Dustin’s warm little body snuggled up against me…feeling that overwhelming need to protect and nurture the little man. He was without a doubt the center of my world now.
Flopping back onto the bed, I let out a long, loud howl of happiness.
“I’m a fucking father!”
A loud bang sounded on the wall behind me.
“Whoppie-fucking-doo,” came a low, burly growl. “I’m a trucker who needs some damn shut-eye over here.”
“Sorry,” I yelled at the thin wall with a wide grin.
Realizing I didn’t even know Dustin’s birthdate, I sat up with a growl.
After grabbing the pen and paper off the nightstand, I made a list of all the milestones I’d missed in my son’s life. Tori might very well go hoarse filling in every detail, but I didn’t care. Her days as a single parent were over. I wasn’t going to miss out on a moment more of our son’s life.
Well, in a perfect world, anyway.
The possibility that I’d be on stage in Hoboken or Boise when Dustin lost his first tooth or scored his first touchdown was all too wretchedly real.
Maybe it was time to hang up my guitar and move here so I could help Tori raise our son. Suddenly, memories of the clusterfuck Burk endured when burnout had him contemplating quitting a few weeks back flashed in my brain.
I scrubbed a hand through my hair. I’d left Maui before we’d had a chance to discuss Burk’s desire to extend our downtime between tours. I hadn’t even talked to him about how he planned to juggle life on the road with a new wife before Angelo’s call sent me racing to the airport.
I picked up my cell phone and pressed the number.
“You make it to the mainland okay?” Burk asked without bothering to say hello.
“I did, and…” Suddenly, I couldn’t push any more words off my lips.
“And?”
“I found the girl I’ve been looking for.”
“And?” he chuckled.
“I have a son,” I blurted.
The line fell silent for several long seconds.
“Hang on. Lemme get someplace quiet and private.” Burk’s voice had taken on a decisively worried tone. “Okay. I’m alone now. Did you say you had a son?”
“Yeah. His name’s Dustin and…he’s fucking perfect. You should see him, man.”
“Hold on, man. I’m not trying to shit in the middle of your parade, but how sure are you that this kid is really yours? I mean, you haven’t been there long enough to get any DNA results back or—”
“I don’t need any of that shit. He’s mine. Dustin is definitely—”
“Darren!” Burk barked. “Look, I get you’re stoked about this, man. But shut up a minute and just listen to me, all right?”
Grinning, I shook my head. I knew what he was going to say. Hell, if I were in his shoes, I’d be dishing out the same damn lecture.
“I’m listening, bro, but you don’t need to waste your breath.”
“Well, I’m going to, so shut up and listen, goddammit.” He exhaled heavily. “Who is this girl? And how well do you know her?”
I started at the beginning and walked Burk through everything from laying eyes on Tori that night in Kansas City to leaving her house a few minutes ago.
“The birthmark thing…that’s…” Burk paused.
“I knew way before I saw that. When he opened that door, it was like looking at a living, breathing photo of myself at his age.”
“I appreciate you having my back, man, but—”
“Just do the test. Make sure Dustin is a hundred and ten percent yours before you offer any kind of child support to this Tori chick. All right?”
“I haven’t offered anything yet. I’m working on my anger. She hid Dustin from me and spilled all my personal shit to Celebrity Access. I know she was between a rock and a hard place, and that I was the boulder she had to kick to get free. My head is still furious, but my heart knows she’s a good person.”
“You’re a fuck ton more forgiving than I am,” Burk grumbled.
“Bullshit. When you found out that Dan outed you and not Sofia, you couldn’t pucker up or get your lips on her ass fast enough to make amends. I was there. I saw you.”
“That was different, asshole. She was innocent. Your girl’s guilty as fuck.”
“She is.” I sobered. “But I believe her each time she tells me she’s sorry.”
Burk grunted. “A son, huh? You better send me some pictures of him.”
“I will,” I chuckled. “You’ll then see why the DNA thing is a waste of time.”
“Maybe,” he groused. “You’re not thinking about marrying this chick, are you?”
His question hit me like a punch to the gut.
Obviously, I wasn’t as forgiving as Burk claimed, since the thought of putting a ring on Tori’s finger had never even crossed my mind tonight. No, I had a long way to go, if ever, before I could find forgiveness.
“Nah. At least not any time soon.”
“Whew, thank fuck. So, now what?”
“I don’t know. That’s why I called you.”
“Me?” Burk choked. “I don’t have any experience with kids.”
“Not that,” I laughed. “I wanted to find out if you still want to take a hiatus from touring.”
“I’d like to. Sofia assures me that Quinn will work with us on whatever we decide. But I haven’t brought it up with the others yet.”