True Refuge

by Annabelle McInnes

  ‘My brother died,’ she whispered. ‘He was trying to save me too.’

  ‘Shit, I’m sorry,’ Nick consoled her.

  ‘It’s okay,’ Kira deflected his remorse. ‘Will told me he was going to go on a supply run. It confused me though. We didn’t need to leave. We have almost everything we need here.’

  ‘What happened?’ Nick asked.

  Another shuffle. ‘He was gone for almost a week. I was terrified. For him and for me. Then on the afternoon of the sixth day, he came stumbling through the forest, bleeding from his stomach. It was his screaming that alerted me to his return.’

  ‘Pain?’ Nick asked.

  ‘No,’ Kira returned gravely. ‘He was screaming at me to get down into the bunker. That I had to get out of sight. That I had to remain underground.’

  Her breath hitched, and the mattress dipped as Nick shifted closer. Euan hardened his heart against the ache of her confession. He could only imagine the horrors her brother must have witnessed to struggle home with a gut wound just so he could warn his sister.

  ‘He’d been stabbed,’ she continued, her voice breaking. ‘It was obvious, but he wouldn’t confide in me. He told me he’d tripped and landed on a tree branch. It was so stupid.’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ Nick soothed.

  ‘It took him three days to die. And I couldn’t do anything about it. Not a thing, except watch, and listen to his last wishes. He told me to stay down, stay out of sight and never, ever leave the bunker,’ she confessed.

  ‘That’s good advice,’ Nick declared.

  Kira shrugged awkwardly under the bed covers. ‘Maybe.’

  ‘Maybe?’ Nick couldn’t keep the derision from his voice.

  Kira either ignored it, or didn’t catch it. ‘He died a year ago, last summer. I tried to do what he asked. I was so afraid at first. But I have chickens, a greenhouse. They could last a while on their own, but not forever. It took six months though, before I was brave enough to go into the trees.’

  Euan couldn’t help his whole body tensing at the thought, at the resignation in her voice.

  ‘That’s when I found him,’ she continued on, heedless of Euan’s growing trepidation. ‘A man. He was dead. Will’s knife was still imbedded in what was left of his throat.’

  ‘Jesus,’ Nick swore.

  ‘I buried him,’ Kira continued, her voice thick. ‘But I didn’t want to.’

  Nick shuffled closer. ‘I’m so fucking sorry Kira.’

  Kira moved to bat the emotions away with her hand, but her voice still hitched. ‘It’s okay. Now I have you two, right?’

  Euan had been privy to their confessions for long enough. He reached out and twisted Kira into his embrace, pulling her soft body in towards his. It took only a moment before her limbs relaxed and her breath evened out on his chest.

  ‘Yeah sweetheart, now you have us,’ he muttered worshipfully into her hair.

  The anticipatory rush that burned through him from her touch, from the lush curves of her feminine body, was divine. Her scent was sweeter than strawberries. The reality when he pressed his lips to her temple was more sublime that his imaginings. It was divinity. She was divinity.

  ‘I thought you were still asleep,’ she whispered, the delicate feathery brushes of her lips tickling his dark chest hair as she spoke.

  Euan swallowed and raised his gaze until they met and clashed with jade green. Christ, the agony in those eyes. He flinched from it, from the power and emotion that emanated from the gaze. The stories and the confessions had pulled torturous memories to the surface. Euan could see the torment shimmer. But as Euan look closer, past the pain, the anguish and suffering, he saw determination. Nick was going to fight his demons with every weapon he had, and the woman between them was now his greatest asset.

  It was effortless. It was natural. As she had the previous night, Kira easily accepted their combined arms wrapping around her, their bodies moving closer until they were both pressed against her smaller form. Their legs tangled together in an endless twist of mostly naked limbs.

  ‘He sleeps light,’ Nick murmured into Kira’s tangled mess of wayward spun gold. ‘Always has.’

  She flinched. ‘You knew he was awake?’

  ‘Yeah,’ Nick confirmed, with only Euan playing witness to his small, sly grin.

  ‘You sleep well sweetheart?’ Euan asked, and he moulded his large palm over her fragile hip bone. Christ the vulnerability …

  ‘Yes I did, thank you,’ Kira answered sluggishly, as though intoxicated by heat generated from their combined hold.

  Euan squeezed her tighter in his arms. He relished the little hitch in her breath as her breasts pressed against his chest. He felt Nick’s knee shift between her thighs. The pulse at her throat hammered like a hummingbird. A delicious rush of anticipation sprinted up his spine. It was a heady sensation, one he was unused to, but one he was determined to relish, if not understand.

  ‘I remember you said something about coffee?’ Euan commented, purposefully ignoring the scent of aroused female that was beginning to bloom around them. ‘And I got my eye on that shower.’

  Nick groaned loudly. ‘A shower …’

  ‘It’s been a long time,’ Euan agreed.

  ‘There was that waterfall—’ Nick began.

  ‘There’s hot water,’ Kira interrupted.

  Both men swore.

  Kira’s irresistible giggle had Euan reluctantly loosening his hold. The lure of her was drawing him in like a siren’s call. If he wasn’t careful, he’d find himself smashed upon the rocks.

  ‘You got any clothes we can borrow, sweetheart?’ he asked instead of telling her to remove the underwear she wore.

  Kira squirmed. It was seductive, an enticement. Over Kira’s head, Nick’s features twisted with conflicting emotions. The sweetness of his desire for the woman in their arms was tempered by the searing brand of his memories. He empathised with his predicament. His love for Nick was all encompassing. He wouldn’t entice the blonde sun-sprite between them for anything other than forever. But could he give her that with Nick lodged so deeply inside his heart?

  His thoughts about the longevity of a relationship was quickly eviscerated when Kira tore from their embrace like an iron ball erupting from its cannon. She burst from their arms so quickly, at first Euan was afraid they’d frightened her. That was until she turned, dressed in nothing but a ragged and threadbare bra and panty set, and placed a fine-boned hand to her hip.

  ‘I think I might have some of Will’s,’ she remarked, seeming to care little about her almost naked state. ‘I doubt they’ll fit. But I’ll go and check.’

  Euan was shocked into a stupour. The previous night had been so heightened with overwrought emotions that he hadn’t had time to really study the woman before him. And he wasn’t meant to. He’d made a promise, a declaration to cherish Kira, protect her. But in the face of her unabashed femininity, Euan’s body became the traitor. The tantalising curve of her cleavage in her soft-cupped bra, the womanly flare of her hips, the promise of the warmth between her thighs had Euan’s cock burning in the tight confines of his pants. It ached with an undeniable pounding that fucking hurt.

  Nick coughed and Euan forced his gaze from the vision in front of him to find Nick equally stunned, but the slow rise of the bed coverings at his hips was testament to the fact that they both were struggling with the same feelings.

  Kira was oblivious. Before either man could utter a word, she dashed from the room, promising pancakes and soap. It was the only noise made for long minutes. That was until Nick’s unfettered belly laugh vibrated through the small, beige room.

  Chapter 16

  The shower was beautiful. The last time Euan had felt hot water slosh over his shoulders he’d been working on a construction site and had been punching people for money. He’d forgotten how cleansing a shower could be, washing away not only what felt like years of filth, sweat and stink from his skin, but also cleansing his mind, heart and soul.

 
; He felt renewed, a man reborn.

  Kira wouldn’t let him enter the bathroom without filling his arms with items of her brother’s clothing she’d quickly dug up from one of the storage rooms. She’d also supplied him with masculine body wash, even a toothbrush and razor blades. He had no intention of shaving his beard, but he liked the thought of his head being smooth again.

  His biggest concern now was Kira’s naivety, her innocence. The unquestioned acceptance of their place in her home.

  He had watched a toned little behind, delicate protruding bare shoulder blades and a wild mess of tangled white-gold tresses disappear down the hall. As Nick had fallen back onto the mattress with a hoot and a belly laugh, his radiant smile beaming up to the ceiling, Euan had struggled to contain his own merriment at the absolute absurdity of that last vision.

  Christ, either Kira’s solitude had made her addled in the head, or she was just so trusting that she had no idea of the atrocities they could commit against that amazing body and mind if that had been their intention.

  It was that sobering thought that had sent Euan prowling after her to inform her of her indiscretions. But then she’d shoved the pile of toiletries into his hands and turned her back to him once again, oblivious of her impact, in order to start the coffee.

  It was the thought of a hot cup of joe awaiting him after his long-awaited shower that had Euan deciding to hold off until he could focus properly on reprimanding her. Especially considering the way he wanted to do it was to pull her over his knees and turn those perfect round ass cheeks pink with his hand.

  As he watched the dirty suds swirl down the drain after cleaning his muscled chest, toned abdominals and powerful arms, he considered taking his fully erect, aching cock in his hand.

  He wanted Nick. He wanted Kira. He wanted both of them, together. His mind vibrated with all the sordid predicaments the three of them could get into. But when Euan wrapped his large palm around his throbbing turgid flesh, it felt like a soulless, empty substitute.

  Christ, he was greedy. He wanted Nick back too. The old Nick. The Nick who would stop them on their journey to wherever they were going with a quick blow job. Or he’d challenge Euan to a rock-throwing contest where they’d have to hit an object in their distant line of vision, regardless of the fact that Euan won every single time. Or he’d mumble in his sleep, not of the terrors he had recently suffered, but of past, happy memories that made Euan’s lips twitch in the dark.

  He’d seen more of the old Nick in the last twenty-four hours than he had in weeks, and though it made him feel the warm caress of hope, it also made him yearn for all of Nick, both past and present.

  An orgasm might ease a little of the ache that persisted in his balls, but it wouldn’t ease what was in his heart. So instead, he busied himself with functionally cleaning the rest of his body, mindful of his bruising and shallow lacerations that were aching reminders of his time in the pit.

  When he finally exited the stall, water sluicing off his muscles to meet the worn but clean burgundy bath mat, Euan dried himself. The matching maroon bath towel smelled of feminine soap and sunshine. He inhaled deeply, letting the warmth of that scent sink further into his chest before he set it aside and pulled a pair of men’s shorts from the pile of clothes Kira had handed him.

  Christ, Will must have shared the small-statured genetics that worked so well for his sister’s feminine form. The pants were too small to fit his lean waist, despite the weight loss of the past three years.

  He eyed the pile of his old, fetid clothes. In contrast to the clean, waterproof beige walls that encased the interior of the bunker and the bathroom’s smooth, grime-free white floor tiles, the clothes looked rancid, crusty and stained. The whites were now a deep, sweat-stained yellow, the blacks faded to grey with no way of identifying colours through the blood and filth.

  Euan returned his gaze to the blue shorts he held in his hand. They’d chafe, dig into his gut, and he wouldn’t even be able to close the fly, but they were clean, which meant he’d force them on.

  He was pulling a shirt back over his head in defeat—there was no way Will’s was going to be stretched to fit his broad shoulders—when he heard the click of the bathroom door’s latch.

  He instinctively reached for his bowie knife on the porcelain basin only to see Nick’s tall, lean body slip into the small room.

  ‘Old habits die hard?’ the young man asked as he watched Euan sheathe the blade.

  ‘Not just old habits. Still have to remain vigilant. Don’t care how impressive this bunker is,’ Euan said gravely.

  Nick nodded in understanding.

  ‘Everything okay?’ Euan asked, eyes to Nick when he remained silent after the door closed behind him.

  ‘Yeah,’ Nick replied without elaborating.

  Euan frowned. ‘Kira okay?’

  Nick’s lips twitched and his green eyes finally met Euan’s after inspecting the small, waterproof room.

  ‘Yeah,’ Nick answered. ‘She’s making breakfast. Pancakes.’

  ‘Fuck me,’ Euan breathed, his mouth watering from the thought alone of sweet, fluffy, warm dough coating his tongue. He hoped the torment of the previous night’s meal was merely an accident. It had been more years than he could count, regardless of the plague, since he’d enjoyed pancakes.

  ‘Yeah.’ Nick’s small smile faded even as he noticed the anticipated bliss flash over Euan’s features.

  ‘Nick,’ he prompted, growing impatient when he fell silent once again.

  Nick sighed and raked his fingers through his still-grimy hair to pull the long waves out of his face.

  ‘Are we dead?’ he finally demanded.

  The question made Euan pause, his brow creasing in unspoken confusion.

  Nick shook out his hair, raised his now-blazing eyes to meet Euan’s steady brown ones, and continued. ‘I know it sounds ridiculous, but did we die back at Nirvana and this is our heaven? ’Cause it couldn’t be anything else. This type of place doesn’t exist. That type of girl doesn’t exist.’

  When Euan didn’t answer immediately, Nick continued. ‘And if this isn’t heaven, Euan, it’s damn close,’

  He didn’t reply, just turned to Nick to face him fully. He was wrong. Heaven did exist, though up until now, it had only existed in a man. Nick. His Nick. This young man, with his lean body, strong jaw and expressive eyes had always been Euan’s sanctuary, his idea of heaven. His rock in a sea of depravity and mayhem. He thought he’d lost that, but with every moment under the protective steel hull of the bunker, the man he loved was returning.

  ‘Come here, kid,’ Euan demanded, his voice hoarse with emotion.

  Nick’s gaze heated, but a flicker of unease still flashed through his jade eyes.

  ‘Just gonna hold you,’ he assured.

  Nick pushed himself off the beige door and took the two steps towards Euan. He was still dressed solely in his boxer briefs, his bronze skin glowing in the energy-efficient LED lighting. His delineated muscles dipped and bowed, protruded and depressed to form his tight, washboard abdominals, defined, square pectorals, and detailed, ropy arms. That provocative pelvic V prompted Euan to lower his gaze to Nick’s strong legs and bare feet.

  Euan’s body was on high sexual alert. His morning had been inundated with sexual heat and innuendo, thrumming through him with delicious anticipation. Nick’s laughter and Kira’s scent had fed his soul, but the sustenance had gathered in his dick.

  Once Nick was in reaching distance, Euan grabbed his wrist and pulled him in to his chest, where he wrapped his arms around the man’s shoulders and held tight.

  ‘Don’t know what we did that led us to finding this place. But what I do know is I’m gonna protect you two with my life. This place may seem secure, but we gotta remain vigilant. Careful. Can’t get complacent. Nirvana’s too close. I don’t know if it was divine intervention or just dumb luck that led us here, but you’re right. It’s paradise. At least in this world. So we gotta look after each other. Look after this
place. That girl. Get me?’

  Nick nodded against his chest, and he could feel his breath brush against his chest hair. Nick’s arms were by his side, but after Euan’s words, they lifted until he hooked his thumbs into the tight waistband of his shorts.

  Euan took it as an invitation, whether it was intended to be or not. One large palm reached up and into Nick’s tangled hair, forcing his head up to meet his gaze.

  Euan watched as Nick’s eyes softened and he licked his lips.

  ‘I’ll take it slow,’ he conceded, knowing that although Nick’s body might be ready to accept his advances, his mind was not. Not yet at least. ‘You and her. Both of you have your own demons to overcome. But be warned that both of you will end up naked and writhing in that bed. Feel me?’

  ‘Always the sadist,’ Nick added, but for the first time in a long time, Euan saw a flash of longing in the man’s green eyes. It was heartening, but he needed more.

  ‘I’m serious, Nick,’ Euan reiterated with a tug of Nick’s hair. ‘You understand what I’m saying? You, me, her. Together. There are no other alternatives.’

  Nick’s jade eyes searched Euan’s face. He watched the pupils dilate with desire, uncertainty and conviction.

  ‘I get it, Euan. I agree. No other way. After everything ... just … slow. Real slow.’ The heat that flared in Nick’s eyes fanned the fire that burned inside Euan, and he felt his own gaze warm in response.

  ‘We start today,’ he stated. ‘I wanna move that big bed from upstairs down here. I need you both close. Safe. And the three of us are sure as fuck not sleeping on a double for the foreseeable future.’

  At Nick’s broad smile, Euan tightened his fist in his hair and began to lower his head. He did it slowly, giving Nick plenty of time to back away if that’s what he needed.

  When Nick closed his eyes and tilted his chin up, Euan could have roared with exultation. His careful descent abandoned, he crushed his lips to Nick’s. It had been so long. Too long since he’d indulged in Nick’s mouth, been able to feast upon his lips, draw strength from his taste, to tangle, nip and caress his tongue.