License to Love: Holiday Box Set (Contemporary Romance)

by Kristen James

  “Aubrey, say please.” Savanna said, “Up please.”

  Jason pulled her up after she attempted to say please. One look into Savanna’s eyes, and her obvious adoration for Aubrey told him the reason why Aubrey was so happy.

  “I’m glad someone likes me.” He smiled, and his face felt strange because he hadn’t smiled in a long time. Aubrey rubbed his whiskers and messed up his hair.

  “Wow, she’s really interested in you.”

  Are you? “Guess I’m funny-looking.”

  Savanna tried to smile. Almost there. Since she looked more relaxed, Jason asked, “What are your plans after you leave here?”

  She looked down, and her face seemed to darken.

  “I’m sorry, I’m just curious.” He might have blown that one by asking the wrong question. Aubrey wiggled off his lap and ran to a box of toys, dumping it out onto the floor with a clatter. They ignored the noise.

  “It’s just that I don’t know,” Savanna said once Aubrey sat down to play. “I think Cassie needs me here a while longer, and then I need to look for a job.”

  “So what do you do?”

  She sighed and he thought she was trying not to cry. He moved onto the couch beside by her, wanting to fix the sadness he’d caused, wanting to hang onto her to ease his own suffering.

  Savanna rubbed the bridge of her nose and said, “I’m not sure. I didn’t work after college. Just any job, I guess, as long as it’s something soon.”

  Jason didn’t like the worry in her voice. “Savanna, I shouldn’t ask, but are you separated, divorced?” When she looked his way to answer, her lip quivered. “Are you running from him?”

  “No. We’re divorced. It’s been a while.” Anger flashed in her eyes for the briefest second. “He left right after Aubrey was born, and that was the end of it.”

  “What the hell?” What would make a man leave his wife and baby? A jolt hit him. “But she’s not a baby anymore. Cassie thought you were married all this time. You stayed in Texas since then?”

  “Stupid, I know.” Her head dropped. “I held on, thinking he’d come around, but he was just annoyed whenever I called.”

  “I’m so sorry, Savanna.”

  “My last name is Thompson, by the way. I didn’t want to explain when you called me Stauffer the day you picked me up.”

  “No big deal. It’s nice to re-meet you, Savanna Thompson.” He had trouble pulling his gaze away from her. She seemed to notice and got embarrassed. So he asked another question. “Is he paying child support?”

  “No.”

  “What? Your husband must make good money. You know you can deny child visits if he won’t pay child support.”

  “Ex-husband. And I don’t want any of his money.” Savanna rubbed her face and looked over at Aubrey. “He doesn’t want to see her. He never wanted kids and considered her a mistake. He said getting married was a mistake.”

  Jason looked from the little girl to Savanna. “And alimony?”

  “He’ll take her away if I ask.”

  “What?” Before he thought, he reached over and laid his hand on Savanna’s leg. Her gaze met his and something clicked. He thought he read possibilities in her eyes.

  Then he remembered why he’d put his hand there in the first place. He kept his language in check since little Aubrey sat right there, but if he ever saw Savanna’s ex-husband, he’d have more than some ugly words to throw at him. “So that’s it? He walks away?”

  She leaned down into her hands. Instantly he put an arm around her and smoothed his hand over her back. He wouldn’t stand for this. He had to help her. So what if it made Cassie mad? He was doing everything he could think of to get through to her. He also saw how much Savanna was hurting.

  She surprised him when she leaned into him, warm and small. She smelled of summer breeze and wildflowers, and she felt like heaven. He shocked himself by saying, “When you need a place, I rent out two townhouses. I’ve got an open spot.”

  She sat up, looking into his eyes. “Cassie knows you own the townhouses?”

  Darn it. “Yeah, I live in one of them.” But he knew Savanna might need it. “I want to help you get on your feet. You could use it, rent free.”

  “I couldn’t do that.”

  “If you want to live by yourself and afford daycare, you might have to.” Wow, he sounded harsh. First her husband had dumped her out into the world without any help, and now he was shoving life’s hard realities at her. For that matter, he couldn’t push her into using the place, as much as he wanted to help. As much as he wanted to have her closer to him. “I apologize for being blunt, but you’re in a spot where it’s okay to ask for help. It’s hard starting over without a job, especially with a little girl.”

  “I know,” she said softly. “What would Cassie think?” She murmured the words, but he still heard her.

  “She’ll be happy that you’ll be fairly close.”

  “I do need to think about getting on my feet here . . . and for Cassie’s sake, too. I think it makes her sad sometimes to have Aubrey around.”

  Puzzled, he waited to see if she’d say more, but then he caught on. Mike had talked a lot about how badly they wanted to start their own family. Savanna’s head leaned into him. He nuzzled her hair and looked over at the little girl as she played. He didn’t know much about caring for children, but he’d learned they could pick up on a mood pretty easy. Surely Cassie wouldn’t want to do that to Aubrey. It was just that Cassie had so much to deal with of her own.

  “Well, if you insist on paying rent, we can work something out.” Jason didn’t want her money, but he wanted to help any way she’d let him. After all, she’d been trying to help him with Cassie.

  He heard wood slap wood outside and recognized the sound of the gate opening. Time to go. Savanna pulled away from him like he’d suddenly caught fire. And once Cassie spotted him, he just might. Jason jumped to his feet before the screen door opened and Cassie walked in. Savanna wiped the tears from her face, looking flustered.

  Cassie narrowed her eyes. “Jason.”

  Nice warm tone there.

  “Cassie, hey. I brought a box from work . . .” He gestured toward her table.

  “His things?” she asked through tears as her shoulders began to shake. Well, she was the only person who could call it what it was. He wanted to rush to her and hug her. Tell her she’d make it. All of them had to somehow.

  She held the door open, keeping her eyes focused the other way. “Please go, Jason.”

  Fine. Still, he had to look at Savanna before he left. He couldn’t expect Cassie to see Savanna’s problems. He saw them, though. He looked back to see hurt in her eyes and worry about Cassie.

  Jason’s workweek went by in a blur. They received the normal amount of fire calls, but he still wasn’t allowed to go on calls. They were worried he couldn’t handle it. By Thursday, he’d found out work wasn’t the distraction he’d hoped for. Instead, he kept expecting Mike to come in.

  That evening, he went home and took a cold beer into the small backyard. Each townhouse had its own fenced-off space behind it, but his also had a side yard since he lived in the end unit.

  He kicked back in a lawn chair in shorts, feeling the air cool around him. September already. Life thought it could just go on.

  “Excuse me? Jason?”

  He jerked. Savanna stood outside the waist-high fence in a blue shirt, her hair teased every which way like she’d had a hectic day. If little Aubrey wasn’t sitting on her hip, he could have launched into some pretty erotic fantasies.

  “Savanna, come on in.” He opened the gate and gave Aubrey’s curls a pat as Savanna walked by. In return, he got a chubby smile. “How’s it going?”

  “Well, it’s going.”

  “Know that feeling.” He motioned to a chair next to his and they sat down. Moments like these made him wish he could talk things over with Mike after work. Talk about Savanna. More specifically, about Jason’s feelings toward her. Mike wouldn’t point out tha
t Jason shouldn’t have these feelings. He’d just listen till Jason reached his own conclusion.

  “Want something to drink?” he asked Savanna. Aubrey pulled on his shorts, so he smiled down at her. The little girl liked something about him. With a jolt, he found himself thinking about the similarities between them. Then he chided himself. It didn’t mean anything that they both had brown hair and brown eyes.

  Savanna shook her head. “I’ve been thinking about what you said.” She’d pulled her gaze from him halfway through her sentence. That might have been embarrassment on her face. “You see, I would just stay with Cassie, but . . .”

  “So you’re taking me up on my offer?” He liked how she got embarrassed about it, but he didn’t let the grin appear on his face.

  “If you’re still offering. I’m looking for work, so I’ll pay rent as soon as I can.”

  Life felt a little better, a little brighter. He could see something floating in the waves to grab. Maybe he could keep afloat with Savanna close by.

  “No need to worry about it; pay when you can.” He didn’t care if she ever paid him a cent. Feeling bolstered, he asked, “How’s Cassie?”

  “Better.” The answer came quickly and easily. Maybe life was getting better there too. “She’s a little more together, but she’s not going back to work just yet.”

  He thought on that a minute. It’d be nice to see Cassie happy again. Yet, it also just felt wrong to move on too quickly.

  “Can I assume she’s still mad at me?” He watched Savanna while she watched her little girl play with a daisy. A long minute later, she nodded to his question. There didn’t seem to be more to say on that. Instead he asked, “But you and me, we’re okay, aren’t we?”

  “We are,” she agreed. He had to be her friend, somehow he needed that, and maybe he could put off thinking about the other currents running between them. It wasn’t the time or place in life to be fantasizing about touching her skin. She’d run for sure if she had any idea how he felt. He didn’t expect Savanna to say more about Cassie, but she did. “I tried to get through but . . .”

  But the truth stood in the way.

  “She has a right to blame me. I thought about only what was best for Mike, not about both of them or their future. I assumed he could explain to her how much he loved his job and she’d eventually accept it.” He reached behind his chair to where he’d hidden his beer and took a long swig and replaced it. It wasn’t like Aubrey knew what it was, but he didn’t want to drink in front of her either. He’d had it out here before they arrived, and now he didn’t want to interrupt the conversation to go put it away. He just wanted to sit out here with Savanna.

  “You don’t blame yourself, do you?” she asked with those wild green eyes, looking puzzled. “Because you have absolutely no reason to.”

  No one had actually said that to him. He wanted to thank her but couldn’t talk. She leaned over a bit to make eye contact, and he nodded, trying to show his feelings.

  “Ahh, darn it.” He looked over the surrounding rooftops at the tall timber and the hills beyond. “I can’t tell what I’m feeling. What about you? How are you doing with all this, on top of your own stuff?”

  She blinked and shrugged with a forced smile, and he knew he wouldn’t get an answer. He had run around her question, too, and couldn’t blame her for doing the same.

  Her shirt hung just low enough to show her tan line when she leaned forward, but he didn’t let himself look. The hottest babe he’d ever run across sat there, and he couldn’t check her out. When he looked at her, all he saw were those big, green eyes.

  He knew what it was. Her baby. Dating a mom meant a lot of things in a real short amount of time. And she was Cassie’s best friend. And dealing with a divorce. And facing single parenthood. Off limits on so many levels.

  So why couldn’t he shake the adrenaline rush he got every time he saw her? He’d never gotten that feeling from a woman before, like jumping off a building or doing something wild and crazy, but he couldn’t stop himself.

  Finally, he broke the silence. “You sure have a good kid there.”

  A huge smile spread across her face. The dimples. At last, the dimples. Her white teeth flashed and then the smile went soft and warm. “The best. She’s so sweet and well behaved.” She caught him with her eyes again. “Thanks for helping me. Twice, now.”

  “I think I’m allowed to help you more than once.”

  Her smile flickered on, and then faded. “Have I told you how sorry I am?”

  “Everyone has, but it’s nobody’s fault. I just miss him.” They sat in thought over that. The silence and companionship felt nice, so nice, in fact, that he could picture many more peaceful evenings spent together. “Did you know Mike all that well?”

  “No, not really. They got married after I left for Texas. We’d already started on two different roads.”

  “You and Cassie?” This was interesting. He hadn’t noticed any awkward feelings between them, but he sure saw the remorse on Savanna’s face now.

  “I’m fixing that,” she said.

  He wanted to fix the hurt between him and Cassie, too. He missed his friend.

  Savanna stood. “I guess I should go. I’ll have to tell Cassie my plans.”

  He stood with her and gestured to the building. “It’s ready whenever you want to move in. And I can show it to you anytime.”

  Now that she’d arrived and turned his bleak evening around, he wanted her to stay. There just wasn’t a good way to ask or a real reason for her to linger.

  “All right,” she said, though it wasn’t a commitment. She laughed then. “There’s not much to move in.”

  He scooped up a giggling Aubrey to give her a hug. “You’re one cute little girl. Already breaking hearts, I bet.”

  Aubrey patted his face with a solemn expression. Then, “Nose!”

  “No grabbing, Aubrey Lynn!” Savanna stepped closer and reached for the tiny hand fisted around Jason’s nose while he laughed. He reached up to his face and bumped into her hand. The awkward part came when neither moved their hand away.

  He didn’t care how crazy it made him, he needed to touch her. Staring into her eyes made his heart thump all over his body. He felt so alive for a second. Aubrey looked gleeful over the reaction while they stared at each other, their hands still touching. His stomach clenched. He hadn’t meant to let her see his feelings, and he suddenly knew she’d been hiding hers too. She could see the consequences, just as he could.

  He let her take Aubrey back so she could leave. She didn’t look at him when she walked through the gate, even though he held it open.

  “I’ll let you know about moving in. Thanks, Jason.”

  But after that wild look in her eyes, he wasn’t sure she’d be back.

  What a day. Aubrey played and fussed in bed till ten that night. Now, at almost eleven, Savanna stretched out on the bed, closed her eyes and tried not to see Jason. Her efforts didn’t work.

  His searching brown eyes came to mind, that strong nose, and his three-day beard that gave him a desperado look, and she imagined quite a few women wanted to tame him. She wanted to know him and help him fix this mess with Cassie.

  But what about living next door to him? Was that the right thing to do? She’d followed her plans and had done the right thing before, and it didn’t get her anywhere. Not anywhere good at least. She could convince herself it’d be good for Cassie if she moved out, and maybe good for her too, but the whole Jason aspect threw a huge shadow of doubt over everything.

  She thought about sleep but heard Cassie walking through the house. Getting out of bed as quietly as she could, Savanna stepped out and shut the door behind her. She found Cassie looking through pictures in a shoebox at the kitchen table, the light soft above her. The house was painted soft lavender outside, like a few blackberries smashed in a bowl full of milk, and Cassie’s love of pastels showed on the inside as well. She’d painted the kitchen a soft pink color.

  Cassie looked up fo
r a minute. “I thought I’d have plenty of time to get these organized into photo albums.”

  “I’m sorry, Cass.”

  “I keep hearing that.” She sounded distracted as she stared at the pictures. Then Cassie put the pictures back in the box and replaced the lid. “But thanks.”

  Savanna sat down, wishing she could come up with something else, something that could make Cassie feel better. “I need to know how you’re really doing.”

  “I don’t know what to tell you because I’m not sure.” Cassie’s chocolate-colored eyes had looked so sad since Savanna arrived. She wanted to see them alive and bright again.

  “I found a place,” Savanna said, “but I won’t leave till you’re ready to be alone.” Why’d she use that word, alone? What a horrible thing to say.

  “You did?” Cassie’s gaze moved from the box of pictures to Savanna. “You’re ready to move into your own place?”

  “It’s close, so I could drop by every day. Just two blocks away.”

  Cassie’s eyes narrowed. “What are you leading up to?”

  A sigh. Almost a laugh. “You know me too well.” Savanna hoped this wouldn’t go down like she had envisioned. Doubt swept in like a herd of horses, and she wanted to backtrack, but it was too late. “It’s just that Jason has an empty townhouse.”

  “Jason? You’d be living next door to him, you know. I couldn’t go over there.” She folded her arms and sat stiffly.

  “You wouldn’t have to.” A long silence ensued.

  Cassie seemed to be lost in thought, something she’d been doing a lot of since Mike died. Then, “Why is he helping you?”

  That was a good question. She wanted to say what a good guy he was and how he had saved her life before. He’d probably saved many lives. Surely he just wanted to help, but she was unable to take that angle with Cassie right now. “I need to start getting on my feet at some point. I don’t know that many people around here, but he’s willing to help.”

  Cassie still looked at her with scrunched brows.

  Savanna added, “I won’t leave till I know you’ll be okay.”