License to Love: Holiday Box Set (Contemporary Romance)

by Kristen James

  She stepped back and looked up into his face. “Jason?”

  “I love you, and I love Aubrey, and I can’t live without you. I want to help you with this custody thing. I want to be there for you, Savanna.” He waited, breath held, looking into her wide and teary eyes. Her bottom lip quivered.

  “Jason, I love you, too.” She wrapped her arms around his neck before a sob escaped.

  “Baby, I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

  She pulled back and kissed his mouth.

  So many other questions weren’t answered, but he didn’t care as long as he knew she loved him.

  The clouds hung low, ready to dump a rainstorm, and a breeze blew outside in gusts as Savanna walked through Cassie’s gate and to her front door. Leaves were scattered on the yard, some landing on the late-autumn flowers.

  Aubrey threw her hands up into the air to feel it move.

  Savanna had been euphoric since Jason declared his love to her, but they both ached to help Cassie. Pausing, she renewed her plan to stand by Cassie, no matter what. Then she knocked.

  “Hi,” Cassie swung her door open. Savanna stepped inside and had to stop for a minute because it no longer smelled like lavender in the house, but stale smoke. And the place looked different, no longer cheerful. “Cassie, what did you do?”

  “Oh, just reorganized.”

  Most of her pictures were gone. Savanna stood on the watermelon rug, looking at the blank walls.

  “I wanted to look at something different.” Cassie headed for the kitchen, but stopped to look back at Savanna. “I should put that rug away. It’s for summer.”

  “I loved how you house looked before, all warm and welcoming.” It about broke her heart. This had been a happy home. Savanna finally came in and shut the door behind her. Maybe Cassie was much worse than she let on till now. “You won’t leave it like this, will you?”

  She heard the sky open up outside and dump rain. They looked out the window to see the rain falling in one huge, solid sheet.

  “It just . . . made me sad. I didn’t want the happy pictures all around me.”

  “Oh.” Savanna got a whiff of a distinctive stink from Aubrey. “Smells like you need a change. Come on, pumpkin.” She took her to the bathroom to change her diaper.

  She smiled down at her daughter while her heart shrunk with guilt. Maybe it was guilt. Or sadness. Or both. She didn’t know if the blank, cold house was a tragedy or a step forward. Maybe Cassie needed the change, needed to redecorate a home that didn’t remind her of her loss. Still, it looked so ugly now.

  On the way back, the colors inside Cassie’s bedroom caught her eye. The pictures that had decorated the walls throughout the house were now stacked against the wall. Cassie had rearranged them, right into her bedroom. Savanna sighed.

  They watched the rain weaken from claps to whispers and then taper off completely. “Want to go for a walk?” she asked Cassie, “I have the stroller in the car.”

  “Sure, I need to get out of here.”

  “Well, I’m glad I came over then.” She helped Aubrey into her jacket before they went out. As they walked under maple trees, the wind shook leftover water drops on them.

  “We should do this more,” Cassie said. “I love walking, especially in the fall.” Cassie wore a purple sweater, and her hair fell long and straight over her shoulders. She walked looking down at the ground in front of them, not caring about the wonderful changes all around them.

  “You know you can call me whenever you need to get out or want to talk,” Savanna tried.

  “I know.”

  “I heard you’re smoking . . . and your house . . . Cassie, are you okay?”

  Cassie waved at a passing truck. The person nodded and waved back.

  “I’m trying to quit,” Cassie blurted. “Well, I don’t do it that often. I’ve been trying things just to feel different.”

  “It’s helping? I guess I won’t judge if it does.”

  “No. I don’t want to smoke. I just don’t want to do everything the same. He’s gone. Things shouldn’t be the same.” She stopped and faced Savanna.

  Everything felt different to her, but she wouldn’t tell Cassie that. Instead she hugged her.

  Thirteen

  The air felt cold early that evening when Jason walked out his door, but he liked the breezy air. Savanna’s car pulled up in front of her door, so he went to meet them, causing Aubrey to wave and point.

  Savanna got out and pressed a kiss onto his mouth.

  “Let’s eat out tonight,” he said. Stepping closer, Jason wrapped his arms around her and kissed her neck and then her lips.

  “Okay, you win.” At the restaurant, Aubrey ate chicken strips and then dessert, playing while eating, and Savanna and Jason got to sit and talk. Mostly they sat and looked at each other. Aubrey had made a real mess of herself, so Savanna pulled out wipes to clean her. He tried to help, but in that instant, he looked across the restaurant and saw Rachael watching him.

  “I think I need to take Aubrey to the bathroom to wash her. I’ll be right back.”

  He nodded, thinking that must have been heaven-sent. He didn’t want a scene with his old girlfriend right in front of Savanna. Rachael kept her eyes on him and got up, making her way over.

  “Hello, Jason, you look nice.”

  He hadn’t bothered to see what she wore. “My girlfriend said the same thing.”

  “Playing the family man? That seems rather out of character.”

  He had to get rid of her before Savanna came back. “Well, it was nice to see you.”

  She sat down, and he about jumped up from the table. “I have a horrible secret, Jason, and I can’t tell anyone else.”

  He glanced back toward the bathroom, feeling his body temperature rise in irritation. “I don’t think I want to know any more of your secrets. I really don’t want to talk to you anymore, Rachael.”

  She leaned forward, her eyeliner making her eyes look dark and deceptive. “Mike got me pregnant.”

  Now Jason did shoot up, leaving the table wobbling back and forth. “You’re out of your mind.” Seeing red, he grabbed his jacket off the chair, planning to leave right then and there.

  Rachael rose. “Oh, don’t bother going. I’ll let you have your fun little date. I’ll see you around, Jason.”

  She sauntered off, but Jason couldn’t sit down or calm down. Savanna appeared from around the corner, carrying Aubrey and smiling at her. The smile faded when she saw him.

  “I just ran into Rachael.” He tried to force the tension out of his shoulders as he sat down with Savanna.

  She glanced over her shoulder toward the door. Of course, Rachael was nowhere in sight.

  “She’s a lying—” His nostrils flared, but his eyes went to Aubrey, and he clamped his mouth shut. After working his teeth together for a minute, he told Savanna, “I told you about her crazy story before, and now she’s saying it was Mike who got her pregnant.”

  Her eyes went wide. “Cassie’s Mike?”

  “It’s a lie,” Jason spoke through his gritted teeth. “Everything that woman says is a lie. I can’t let her spread that kind of crap around.”

  Savanna awoke in the morning with the problem still on her mind, even though, the night before, they decided to put Rachael’s secret in a figurative bottle and seal it.

  She went to the window in her nightgown to peek outside. Mist rose from the ground, while a thin drizzle floated down from the low clouds. Thank goodness she didn’t have plans to see Cassie soon. She didn’t know how she’d do it without giving everything away. Her heart broke for Cassie all over again.

  She felt sure Rachael had spotted Jason and made up that crazy story on the spot to hurt him. It was flat out wrong and cruel, and it seemed like a really awful joke. She doubted Rachael would spread it around . . . but she couldn’t be sure.

  Going to work today would be hard. Jason planned on going to the fire station for a few hours so he wouldn’t feel so far removed from his work fri
ends and the events going on there. He was coming over soon, so they could leave together. She needed to hurry up and get in the shower.

  Later, in the car, Jason touched her hand. “You look as frustrated as I feel.”

  “We’re keeping two secrets from Cassie now.”

  “I can’t do that to her,” he said. “I’m going to get to the bottom of this before Cassie hears anything. Then we’ll tell her Rachael is lying about the whole thing. For all we know, she might not have ever been pregnant.”

  “How do we find out?” Savanna asked, taking a left turn.

  “I’ll go to Trevor first. Mindy seemed to know something about it before. I want to know who Rachael was dating.”

  Savanna turned her hand over so she could clasp his. “I love you, and I trust you about this.”

  “Thanks, that means a lot to me.”

  She stopped at the fire station and put the car in park. Leaning toward her, he rested his forehead on hers before kissing her mouth.

  “Chief?” Jason paused outside Alex Ackley’s cracked door. Alex looked up from his papers, and when he caught sight of Jason, he rose quickly to his feet.

  “Jason, hey. Come on in.” Though he was built small and dense, Alex had strength in his muscles along with inner strength that showed in his leadership. His wisdom was etched in the deep lines on his face.

  The crutches made every turn a wide swing, so Alex closed the door behind Jason. When he’d gotten ready this morning, Jason had wanted to look appropriate, but he couldn’t pull pants on over his cast. He gestured down at his black shorts and a T-shirt and gave a quick explanation.

  “Don’t worry about it.” Alex walked around his desk. “You know we don’t dress up around here.”

  Jason sat down and thought the cast set a gloomy mood. Hoping to start this off right, he said, “I’m here to talk about regaining my credibility. I want to come back when I’m physically ready.”

  Alex nodded, and his face kept the same serious, thoughtful expression he’d worn since Jason walked in. “I’ve been wondering what you would decide.”

  Jason had expected a negative response right away, so this felt better. “I should tell you my decision is somewhat conditional.” Since he’d always kept a professional relationship with his boss, he didn’t feel comfortable bringing this up. Lately, however, his personal life had been flung all over the place for everyone to see. “I’m seeing someone. And I don’t want to jeopardize that. I haven’t asked her yet what she thinks about my coming back to firefighting.”

  Alex leaned back in his chair with disbelief on his face and said, “You never seemed like that type of guy. Hmm. You haven’t talked to her yet?” Alex’s curiosity showed.

  “I wanted to know if I had a reason to. I need to know if I have a chance of coming back.”

  Half an hour later, Jason let Alex get back to work. He stood outside the station for a few minutes, in thought, until he saw Savanna’s car pull up.

  “Did your talk go well?” She asked as he climbed in.

  Jason nodded to her question and then suggested a restaurant for lunch, somewhere that wouldn’t take too long since she was on her lunch break.

  Once there, he slid into the booth across from her where he could watch her while they talked. After ordering, he cleared his throat and asked. “What do you think about me returning to work?”

  Savanna left the sugar packets alone to look at him. “Are you ready?”

  “I can’t go back quite yet, but I want to know your opinion before I do.”

  She swallowed. “Are you asking me if I want you to go back or not?”

  “Yes.”

  She rested her face on one hand while playing with the crumbs she’d made from her opened sugar packet. “What else would you do?”

  Jason didn’t have an answer to that question because he didn’t want to think about it. “I won’t go back if you can’t live with it.”

  “I can.” Her words came so quickly that he didn’t know what to say. He reached over and covered her hand, feeling her warmth. Then she said, “I want you to do what makes you happy. You can’t rearrange your life for me.”

  “I would.”

  “Are you looking for excuses, Jason?” she asked. He hadn’t seen that one coming. “If you want to do something different, I think you should.”

  “I don’t. I’ve always wanted to be a firefighter. I still do.” It’d been his dream for as long as he could remember, and he had never wanted anything more, not until he had met Savanna.

  Knowing that she supported his career choice left him in awe of her strength. He remembered Margaret saying Savanna didn’t recognize that about herself, but he did. “I love you, Savanna.”

  She mouthed the same back to him with gleaming eyes. Their food came and they were quiet, especially since Savanna had a limited time to eat.

  “I guess I’d better let you get back to work.”

  She exhaled, her expression unhappy. “I know.”

  He hated to see her like that, but he planned to do something about it. After he paid, they went to the car so she could drive him home.

  “Jason,” she said as she started the car and backed up. “I’m touched that you asked.”

  When she glanced over, their eyes met briefly. He couldn’t look away from her, from the woman he loved so much that he would quit his job if she asked.

  Wednesday, while Savanna worked, Jason got a ride back to the station. He pulled Trevor aside to explain the situation about Rachael and asked him to talk to Mindy about it. When he joined Savanna at her place that night, he could tell how hard it was for her not to ask about it. She fixed dinner for Aubrey, but the two of them were too preoccupied to be hungry. She put Aubrey to bed, and they sat together.

  “I may not hear from Trevor right away,” Jason said, sitting with her curled up in his lap. “When I know, you’ll know.”

  He’d said the last word as his cell phone rang. “It’s Alex, my boss,” he said and answered. She sat beside him while he listened to his fire chief. Even though Jason had expected this call—and this news—it felt so good to hear it. He ended the call and told her, “He’s sure he wants me back.”

  “So it’s official.”

  “Yup, he said my leave is over, and I can get back whenever I want. I told him the cast is coming off soon, and he thinks I can find something to do at the station till I’m up to going on calls.”

  “Congratulations.” She wrapped herself around him. “But I never doubted it.” She all but pushed him back on the couch, kissing him with purpose. He felt his body tighten, yearning for her, and couldn’t stop from running his hands up her jeans to her hips, her waist, molding over her curves. He moved then and felt the cast.

  “No more mistakes,” he said to himself, but his words made her sit up and look at him. The hurt in her eyes dug a hole right through him. “Are you mad I’ve been waiting?”

  She placed her palms on both sides of his face before she ran her thumb over his lips, all while chewing on her own lips in frustration. He felt it, too.

  “I’m a mistake? Making love to me would be a mistake?”

  “No, that’s not it.” He didn’t know how to explain. He tried. “Things aren’t right yet.”

  Her hands rested together on his chest, and that’s where her gaze stayed as well. He watched for a long, quiet minute. Then she slowly raised her gaze and made eye contact.

  “Things with us are right.” That’s all she said. And the truth of it hit him hard.

  Holding this woman felt so good and so right. He knew he loved her and knew he would give her all of himself.

  She leaned down and kissed him softly at first but then grew more urgent. He tangled his fingers into her hair and kissed her back with the same passion, feeling their bodies pressing together, moving together in need. Her hands slid down to the button on his shorts and he felt it give.

  His mind went blank except for feeling her. He undid her pants and she yanked them off, to
o needy to undress any further. They left words behind for noises. At first, they were frantic for each other. After all the waiting and teasing, the floodwaters crashed in.

  Then he got caught up in the meaning of it all. He’d been waiting for this, holding out for this, and now it felt totally, completely right.

  Savanna made him a better man. She also knew how to turn him on in so many ways, on so many levels. This was even more special than he had been imagining.

  Maybe she felt his shift in mood. After he slowly pulled her shirt off, she kissed a trail up his neck, to his mouth. This was sweet pleasure and something deeper. She rested her forehead against his, and their gazes locked. With a smile, he undid her bra and let it fall free.

  Finally he could caress all the curves he’d dreamed about, skin to skin. She seemed to like the feel of his hands skimming slowly up her back.

  Watching how his hands affected her, he was able to slow down. He wanted to watch her and remember this.

  “I’ve waited a long time to feel all of you against me,” he breathed, awed, wanting to feel every inch of her skin.

  “Me . . . too.” She spoke so breathlessly, her hands gripping his shoulders in sudden release, that he lost his control. She took him with her in climax.

  She collapsed onto him, breathing into his neck for several satisfied minutes. Then, “You’ll stay here tonight?”

  His hand slid up her back, caressing. “Of course.”

  He’d stay tonight, but he wanted every night after, too.

  Fourteen

  Jason sat in the station the next morning, talking with Mark. Trevor came in, and Jason gave him a subtle glance. After Trevor’s small nod, Jason got away and met him in the hall.

  Trevor gave the hall a glance in both directions and leaned on the wall. “Brian Howells.”

  “Never heard of him.” He’d been thinking it would be someone he knew. Then again, Rachael knew all kinds of people outside of Jason and Mike’s circle of friends. Jason shoved his hands into his pockets and waited for the rest.