Child Wanted

by Renee Andrews

  Jerry chewed his lower lip and nodded. “Yes, sir. You gave me bread for the birds and said we’d go fishing.”

  “That’s right,” Ethan said, delighted to have already gotten more communication today than the entire time they’d spent together on Friday. But still, Jerry’s words were spoken hesitantly, as if more out of fear of not answering than in a desire to interact.

  No problem. As the social worker had reminded him, it would take time to overshadow the damage that’d been done by Gil Flinn, and potentially some of the placements that had occurred in the foster system over the past three years. But Ethan had time, and he would convince this little guy that he was safe with him. He had to.

  “Well, I sure remember you, and I’m excited about us fishing together.” He was excited about fishing with Jerry, even if he had doubts about fishing in general.

  “You’re excited, too, aren’t you, Jerry?” Savvy prompted. “Last night, at our devotional by the fire pit, Jerry said he wanted to learn to fish.”

  “Really?” Ethan asked, still crouched so that he saw clearly the play of emotions across the little boy’s face. Jerry didn’t necessarily want to communicate, but he also didn’t want to be rude. Or maybe, as Ethan had suspected before, he’d been taught detrimental consequences if he didn’t answer adults. “Well, I’m glad you want to fish.” Hoping to keep the conversation going, he asked, “How was your weekend?”

  He blinked his blue eyes, the uncertainty he’d seen in Lindy’s eyes a few moments ago mirrored in the child’s. “It was okay.”

  Ethan wasn’t ready to give up. “Did you make any new friends?” he prodded.

  “Jerry, tell Mr. Ethan who you sat with at church yesterday, and at the devotion last night.” Savvy pressed her palms together at her chest then clasped her fingers as she spoke. “And we went on that hike Saturday. You had some new friends with you for that, too, didn’t you?”

  He glanced to Savvy and then to Ethan while his mouth slid to the side. “I don’t remember.” Worried eyes looked to Ethan and then at the floor.

  The blatant fear in the child punched Ethan in the gut. Had he looked that fearful when he was young, when he’d been thrown from one bad situation to another? But this wasn’t a bad situation for Jerry. In fact, it would be a very good one. He merely had to convince the scared boy in front of him that he had no reason to be afraid. “Hey, I forget names all the time.” Ethan dipped his head and then looked up to catch Jerry’s gaze. When their eyes met, he smiled. “That’s fine. We’ll learn their names while we fish with them this summer. Sound good?”

  Freckles danced as his cheeks lifted a little, and he nodded. “Yes, sir.”

  “Did you get a list of supplies yet?” Savvy asked.

  “I got one last week, but I forgot to bring it with me this morning.” He answered Savvy, but directed the words to Jerry. “Why don’t we go get one from Miss Lindy, so we can get started?” He noticed that Mrs. Bowers actually stood closer to them and had a stack, too, but he was curious how Lindy was faring at her new job. And he just liked being around the captivating lady.

  Standing, he held out a hand toward Jerry. His mouth flattened for a second, but then he placed his palm against Ethan’s and let him guide him through the store toward the strawberry blonde currently answering all the questions from mentors and children.

  “Yes, we have more blue fishing rods in the back. Mr. Bowers is there with the additional supplies if you want to go get one from him.” She answered the question, but her eyes had caught Ethan’s and then her gaze dropped to Jerry, even though she continued responding to those surrounding her. “I’ll refill that bin as soon as I can, sir, but we also have the sponge bait in the front of the store near the display window.” She looked as though she would speak to Ethan, but then fielded yet another question. “Yes, the live bait can be purchased at the fishing hole. We’ll have minnows and worms.”

  As Ethan and Jerry wedged their way toward the busy lady, she shifted to face them directly. Then she tuned out the others still firing off questions, gathered the papers against her chest and leaned toward the boy beside him. “Hey, Jerry. Are you excited about fishing?”

  “I...think so.” He tilted his head and squinted up at her, and Ethan noticed her eyes soften and mouth tremble, as though she knew how much this boy had been hurt before and how important it was to show him that he didn’t need to fear all adults.

  Why would Jerry need your protection?

  Ethan recalled her question and knew that, even though she didn’t know Jerry’s situation, she’d determined that he’d been through difficult times. He could see it clearly in the way she looked at him and spoke to him now, as though she wanted desperately to help.

  “Did you get your list of supplies yet?” she asked, placing a palm against the papers at her chest.

  Jerry shook his head, and Ethan answered. “That’s what we were coming to see you for.”

  She looked toward Miss Jolaine, standing only a few feet from where Ethan and Jerry had been, and then back to Ethan, but didn’t acknowledge that he’d been caught. “Okay, then.” She slipped one of the pages free and handed it to Ethan.

  “Thanks,” he said, then added, “Maybe you can help us find the items?”

  “Miss Lindy, can you help me untangle this?” one of the other kids called, holding up two fishing rods with lures hooked together.

  “Sure.” She touched Jerry’s hand. “I’m glad I got to see you again today, Jerry. And I think you’re going to love learning to fish.” Then she looked at Ethan. “I need to untangle those, but I can help you find everything on the list after I’m done.”

  Ethan knew where every item was located. He’d seen most of them last week and the newer things this morning, when he’d helped her with the display. In other words, he wasn’t sure why he’d asked for help. Except that he wanted, for some bizarre reason, to spend more time with the beautiful, troubled lady. Which was exactly why he shouldn’t spend more time with her. “I’m sure we can find it.”

  Did she look disappointed, or did he imagine it?

  “Okay then,” she said softly, touching a finger to Jerry’s hair before turning and walking toward the boy with the tangled lures.

  Jerry looked at Lindy, who was gently unraveling the fishing line as she kindly explained to the other boy how to hook the lure to the side to keep it from happening again. “She’s...nice.”

  Here he was, determined to teach this little boy that he didn’t need to fear all adults, and Lindy, a woman with presumably her own share of trouble in her past, had knocked a tiny chip in his wall. How could he maintain his distance from the lady, when she might prove to be a key to getting his future son past his fear?

  “Yes,” he conceded, “She is.”

  Chapter Five

  The cottage that composed the on-site store at the fishing hole resembled the gingerbread houses Lindy had decorated with her grandmother each Christmas throughout her youth. Painted a cheery yellow, it had white, scalloped cake-icing trim along the roof’s edge and seafoam shutters bordering every window. A bright red door bracketed by sizable clay pots with equally vibrant red geraniums formed the entrance. And wooden rocking chairs, in alternating hues of seafoam and turquoise, surrounded the wraparound porch.

  When she’d first heard about the fishing hole, Lindy envisioned a small area, probably along a creek, where people sat beneath spindly trees on flat, uncomfortable rocks as they fished. She certainly hadn’t expected anything resembling the postcardworthy perfection greeting her when Mrs. Bowers had first brought her here two days ago.

  And yesterday, she’d thanked God repeatedly for providing her with the opportunity to work at a place that so clearly defined His creation, as well as a job that gave her the opportunity to see Jerry. However, since her son was slated for the Monday and Wednesday fishing group
, and since today’s group of Willow’s Haven kids had only purchased supplies on Monday and didn’t have their first actual fishing day until today, she hadn’t seen him since their shopping trip.

  She missed him terribly, even more than she had when she was in prison, because now there actually was a chance that she could have him in her life again, and yet she couldn’t tell him, couldn’t hold him, couldn’t explain why she’d missed his second birthday, or his third, or his fourth.

  But life was getting better. Just having the opportunity to view all of this, the huge pond sparkling in the early morning sun, the slick green moss highlighting the water’s edge and the cascading willows tossing feathery shadows sporadically along the bank, provided a direct contrast from the dingy gray walls that had surrounded her the past three years.

  If she had to sum up this place in a single word, it’d be breathtaking. In fact, she’d shown up this morning at six, even though the Willow’s Haven group wasn’t expected until eight, simply because she wanted a little time to appreciate the scene and pray before her official workday began. She had ample time to finish her duties before the kids arrived, so she got her priorities in order, sat in one of the rockers, closed her eyes and talked to God. She thanked Him for helping her find Jerry and for bringing her here, to Claremont. Then she thanked Him for the phone call she’d received last night from Ted Murrell, who said he’d take her case and honestly believed she had a slim chance to get her son back.

  Slim was better than none, and she’d take it.

  She visualized the day she’d tell Jerry that she was his mommy, that she loved him dearly and had missed him terribly.

  I just met him, and I missed him already. Hard to believe... Ethan’s statement from Monday had haunted her ever since, because he sounded like he’d truly missed Jerry when they were apart, too. Lindy almost believed him.

  Would a court believe him, too?

  And the other part of Ethan’s proclamation bothered her even more: that he’d been praying for Jerry for three years. Three years. The amount of time she’d been incarcerated. But he said he’d just met him last week.

  Why had he been praying for her little boy?

  She kept her eyes closed and prepared to pray more. But, as was often the case, the memory of her sentencing stabbed her heart, and she had to fight off the impulse to question God, like she had so many times, about why He’d allowed her to go to prison in the first place.

  Then, because she knew He could read her heart anyway, she asked.

  God, why? Why did I have to go through all of that? Why did I lose those precious years with my son?

  And since she was already telling Him her heart, she let the base of the matter come to the surface, too...

  And since Marsha, the only friend I’d had since high school and the one person I’d entrusted with the truth of Gil’s abuse, helped send me to prison, how am I ever going to trust anyone again?

  “This place is amazing, isn’t it?”

  One hand flew to her chest and the other grabbed the wooden armrest as the incredibly beautiful man who planned to take Jerry away climbed the porch steps.

  He wore a pale blue short-sleeved shirt unbuttoned over a white T-shirt and khaki shorts, his wavy dark hair a little more mussed than she’d seen it before, and his smile even brighter than usual. He looked as though he belonged in the center of this picturesque place. The perfect man every girl would dream of, relaxing on a blanket beneath one of those willow trees, sharing a picnic with her. They’d be laughing. Enjoying each other’s company.

  Disarmingly handsome, Ethan Green appeared as though he was completely unaware of the beauty God had bestowed on him. Moreover, he looked undeniably comfortable in his surroundings and totally content in his life.

  Like a man who would make an excellent father.

  Lindy’s throat pinched tight, and a wave of sudden nausea caused her to tense. Why would any jury think she’d be better for Jerry than him?

  “Whoa, now.” He held up his palms. “Hey, I’m sorry. Seems like I keep managing to sneak up on you, but I promise, that wasn’t my intention.” He tilted his head and studied her face, which she assumed had gone pale, her freckles probably standing out even more than usual.

  “I’m okay,” she managed.

  He didn’t buy it. “Well, you don’t look okay. You look like you’re going to get sick. Do you need some water or something? And didn’t you hear me drive up?”

  She patted her hand against her chest and forced her heartbeat to decrease. It wasn’t as if she could explain that she’d spent the last thirty-six months in a place where being taken by surprise could very well mean you’d end up on a gurney...or in a morgue. “I didn’t hear you. I guess I was lost in my thoughts.” Lost in my prayers, and in my fears about you.

  “I can see how that’d be easy to do out here.” He inhaled deeply and let it out slowly, which unfortunately brought her attention to the wide planes of his chest pressing against the soft fabric of his T-shirt. Then he scanned his surroundings with obvious appreciation, giving her another smile that sent a wave of something that definitely wasn’t nausea through her before sitting in the next rocker. Way too close for comfort. “This place is incredible,” he said.

  “Yes, it is.” Lindy couldn’t fathom why he’d shown up this early and suddenly regretted taking a moment to relax on the porch. It’d be easier to stay away from him if she were working on the start-up list that Mrs. Bowers had provided. She’d seen his name slated for the first group this morning and had been eager to start her workday spending time with Jerry, but the Willow’s Haven bus wouldn’t arrive at the fishing hole until eight. She checked the time on her watch. “It’s just past seven. The kids won’t be here for another hour.”

  “I know, but I’ve been up since five.” He settled into the rocker, extended a long leg to the porch rail then pushed back to gently rock, as though he planned to sit here beside her, truly closer than she’d like, for a while. “I’m staying at the Claremont Bed and Breakfast, and the couple who runs the place start cooking before dawn. When those scents—bacon, eggs, sausage gravy, biscuits—hit my room each morning... Let me tell you, for a single guy, it’s like waking up and thinking you might be in heaven.” He grinned. “I didn’t want to insult them or anything, so I got up and ate.”

  “That was mighty polite of you.” She wished his smile didn’t affect her the way it did, making her stomach flutter and her skin warm and tempting her to smile in return, but she held the instinct in check. She’d mastered hiding her emotions over the past three years, and she wasn’t about to lose control of that ability now, especially not with Ethan Green. She didn’t need to encourage this man. Or any man, for that matter.

  He gave her a one-shoulder shrug and a wink. “What can I say? I do what I can.”

  Lindy couldn’t deny he was charming, but Gil had been charming, too, for a while. “That still doesn’t explain why you came out here so early.” She’d planned on slowly working through the small list of daily tasks that Jolaine had given her, but now that Ethan sat nearby, she decided to do her best to stay busy for the remainder of their time alone.

  Alone. With Ethan Green. Again. The guy who, in spite of the fact that he could take her son away, still reminded her of how it felt to be around a man and notice all of those masculine traits that rattled her senses. Strong jaw. Broad shoulders. Muscled biceps and forearms sprinkled with hair, slightly tanned, probably from working outside around his house. Then there were the masculine hands that currently relaxed against his rocker’s armrests, but that looked capable of pretty much anything. Legs that stretched all the way out to the porch rail, much farther than she’d reach.

  Her eyes were suddenly drawn to his extended knee, and an angry, spiderlike scar that wrapped its way completely around it. What had happened? A car wreck? Or some other kind of accident?
>
  Apparently her face showed her surprise because she realized she’d been caught staring at it.

  He dropped the leg from the porch rail, sat a little straighter in the rocker and said, “I came early because I’m excited about seeing Jerry, and I was anxious to get out here to see the place.”

  Okay. So asking about the scar was off-limits. And she shouldn’t ask anyway. She didn’t want to have that kind of relationship with the man, didn’t want to act overly interested. Because she wasn’t. Really. The only reason she’d even interact with him was because of his mentorship of her son. She swallowed, pushed the question about the scar out of her mind and instead focused on casual conversation. “Yes, it’s beautiful here. And the weather is very comfortable, especially with that breeze.” She nodded toward the willows swaying in the distance.

  He started rocking again, taking another long, appreciative gaze of the impressive view. “The Tingles, the couple who own the B and B, said this place was nice, but this goes way beyond nice. And I have to admit, if I’d known a fishing hole could look like this, I’d have taken up the sport years ago.”

  “I’m pretty sure they don’t all look like this.” Suddenly needing to end this one-on-one time with the man who intended to take her son, Lindy pushed up from the rocker. “I’ve got a few things to get done before the bus arrives.” She started toward the pebbled parking area and noticed a shiny navy SUV parked next to her small, dented car. Even their vehicles showed which one of them had more to offer a child.

  “I’ll help you.” And then, before she had a chance to protest, those long legs carried him right beside her, eluding her attempt to get as far away from him as possible.

  “I can handle it.” The words came out in a rush due to the nerves he rattled, and she refused to look at him or encourage him in any way. Instead, she hoped he would pivot toward the cottage and return to his rocker until the kids arrived.

  He didn’t even pause, but continued walking beside her. Then, when she reached for the back door handle, he stopped her, his warm palm and long fingers touching her forearm and gently turning her so that she had no choice but to look into those intoxicating chocolate eyes.