She had spent the past twenty minutes attempting to make me see reason. The only thing I saw was a kid sister sticking her nose where it didn’t belong.
“They’ve got each other,” I told her. “They don’t need me.”
Even as I said it, the words hurt.
Jamie’s eyes widened. “Is that what you think? That you’re the third wheel here?”
“It’s not what I think, Jamie. It’s what I know. They’ll find another Dom who can give them what they need. I’m done.”
My sister’s cheeks darkened and I could feel the anger inside her. I rarely saw her pissed off, but it appeared I’d pushed her to her breaking point.
Her voice lowered. “You’re an asshole, Zeke.”
“Yes, I am.” That wasn’t news to me.
“Have you talked to them at all?”
“No.” And that was the whole point. I wasn’t supposed to get close to them.
“Do you honestly not see that all three of you are the third wheel?”
That made absolutely no sense.
“That’s what happens when three people are in a relationship, Zeke. There’s no longer a couple. It’s now a triad. It’s hard enough for two people to form a bond. When there’s three … it requires more work.”
Jamie sounded oddly as though she knew from experience. I kept my eyes pinned on her. “How do you know that?”
For a moment, she broke the staring contest, her gaze dropping to her lap.
“Just trust me, Zeke. You have to put effort into any relationship.”
“See, that’s where you’re confused,” I stated hotly. “There’s not a relationship here.”
Her anger was back. “Bullshit! I’ve seen the way they look at you. And I’ve seen the way you look at them. You might want to pretend you don’t care, but you’re full of shit.”
We were back to that again. Jamie had ensured she told me as much several times throughout this ridiculous conversation.
“I have work to do,” I told her as I sat up in my chair. “I get that you’re pissed at me, but you’re not gonna change my mind.”
“Have you ever asked Case why he needs you to hit him?” she asked, her tone suddenly changing.
I frowned. “Why would I?”
Her eyes softened. “There’s something you don’t know about him, Zeke.”
I tried to hide my curiosity as best I could, but my sister saw through it. Still, I kept my mouth shut.
“After the first time I came over and I found out they were living with you, I decided to do some digging. I know how you are. I know you don’t refer to them by name because you want to keep your distance. Which meant I had to be the one to protect you in the event they weren’t on the up and up.”
“You watch too much television,” I told her. “I’m capable of taking care of myself.”
“Oh, I know. And what I found out certainly doesn’t put you at risk. However, I get the feeling Brax doesn’t even know.”
I kept my expression neutral. I wanted her to tell me, but I wasn’t about to ask.
“Because if he did,” Jamie continued, “he wouldn’t expect Case to sleep in a cage beneath your bed.”
I frowned.
“Yes, I know about that, Zeke.” She rolled her eyes. “You might think I’m some sweet, innocent kid, but I’ve got as much darkness in me as you do. Only mine doesn’t involve me wanting to hit someone or have them hit me. Why do you think I pursued psychology?”
“Because it interests you.”
“It does. The human brain is fascinating. The way people respond to their surroundings, how they deal with the things that happen to them … I find it riveting. But it was my own desires that drove me to pursue it, Zeke. I’ve never once wondered why you want to beat on a submissive. I never questioned it. That says as much about me as it does about you. However, I think some have reasons. Not everyone is simply born with those desires. I don’t think I was. And I think Case’s experiences have made him the way he is, too.”
Fucking hell. This was a conversation I could’ve lived my entire life without having. It wasn’t so much what Jamie said about Case that bothered me. More so what she was admitting about herself. I’d always seen her as the kid with the pigtails and the sassy mouth, the girl who looked up to me because I was her big brother. This woman sitting in front of me looked older, wiser, and far more in tune with herself than I thought possible.
“You might be able to blow them off, but I don’t think they deserve it. You owe them an explanation. You can’t change your past, Zeke. You can’t go back and change the fact that Matt hurt you. But you can move forward. You can find the happiness you’ve always sought.” Jamie pushed to her feet, her eyes glassy. “In fact, I think you’ve already found it, but you’re too damn stubborn to see what’s right in front of you.”
Ah, damn. I wasn’t sure I could handle my baby sister crying. Please don’t cry. Please don’t fucking cry.
Jamie straightened her spine. “It’s fine if you want to be selfish. But remember, you’re no longer the only person who’ll get hurt. Those two have feelings for you, and if you’re not careful, you might push them to do the one thing you claim you want them to do.” She turned toward the door. “And when they walk away, they won’t be coming back, Zeke.”
Jamie slipped out the door, closing it behind her. I stared at it for several minutes, her words sinking in. I glanced over at my computer. I considered pulling up a search on Case. I knew it wouldn’t be hard to find out the details Jamie had evidently unearthed.
However, that wasn’t my style. I didn’t like when people snooped into my business. And that meant if I was going to assuage this curiosity, I was going to have to address the situation directly.
I yanked open the desk drawer and grabbed my keys.
The least I could do was stop running. That wasn’t the way I was programmed. I faced issues head on, so why would I stop now?
*
Brax
(The cowboy)
I WAS SITTING AT ZEKE’S kitchen table, scanning the Internet for houses. While I didn’t want to leave Zeke, I knew Case was right. The man had asked us to go and it was rude to stay when it was evident he didn’t want us here. I had held my ground for the past two days, but I knew it would come to an end eventually. I wasn’t strong enough to power through those thick walls Zeke had built around himself.
Going back to the apartment wasn’t an option. While Ben had assured me it was still available when I called him earlier, I couldn’t possibly put Case through that one more time, let alone many. I’d never seen him react to anything like that before and I wasn’t sure I could bear to witness it again.
So the only option I had was to find a place for us to go. Buying a place was ideal, but that meant finding somewhere to stay in the meantime. We could stay in a hotel for a few weeks if we had to, but I was hoping to avoid that at all costs.
The sound of a vehicle pulling up caught my attention and I pushed to my feet to see who it was. Case had insisted he had to go for a training session with Trent, although he’d told me this morning he didn’t have one scheduled. Figuring he needed some time to himself, I hadn’t tried to stop him.
However, Case’s truck wasn’t the one that had pulled into the driveway.
A minute later, the front door opened and Tank came charging into the room, making a beeline for me. I squatted down to pet him as I usually did.
“Hey,” I greeted Zeke, eyeing him in an effort to gauge his mood.
“Where’s the pretty boy?”
“With Trent. Had a session.”
He looked skeptical. I couldn’t blame him. I’d had the same reaction.
“Can I get you anything?” I asked when I stood to my full height. “Are you hungry?”
He watched me for what felt like an eternity before he moved closer. My breath lodged somewhere in my chest as he neared. The man was imposing whether he was wearing a pair of jeans or that damn suit he was sporting now. Howev
er, I’d long ago learned it wasn’t the clothes that gave him the air of danger. Nor was it the bald head or the tattoos. Zeke’s intimidation factor was all in his black eyes, the way they took in everything around him, assessing.
My first instinct was to drop my gaze to the floor, gearing up to submit to him in any way that he wanted.
“I only want one thing right now,” Zeke stated, his tone as dark and rich as his eyes.
“What’s that?” I found myself asking.
Zeke took another step closer until there was only a breath between us. I wouldn’t back down no matter what. Not this time.
The next thing I knew, Zeke’s hand went around my head and he jerked me to him. I thought for a second he was going to remove the collar again, but his hand didn’t move once it cupped the back of my head.
“I don’t know what you and your boyfriend have done to me,” Zeke whispered. “Whatever it is, I don’t much care for it.”
His actions said otherwise. The way he tilted his head down, his gaze never straying from mine.
“I wasn’t supposed to want you,” he whispered, the dark tenor of his voice sending shockwaves rippling down my spine. “That wasn’t our deal.”
I couldn’t speak. He was too close, too warm, and he smelled so fucking good. Like musky man and erotic promises.
“Fuck it all,” Zeke rumbled before he jerked me close and slammed his mouth to mine.
I whimpered as I gave in to him, his embrace securing me to him as our lips met in an eager attempt to get closer. My arms went around him, my hands sliding beneath his suit jacket. I couldn’t resist him even if I’d wanted to. And I didn’t. The only thing that mattered was that he wasn’t pushing me away.
“Christ Almighty. You make me want things, Brax. Things I’m not supposed to want,” Zeke growled before changing the angle of the kiss and thrusting his tongue back into my mouth.
He said my name. It was the second time in as many days and it felt the same as before. My entire world tipped on its axis, and I was completely overwhelmed by how good it felt to hear him say it.
Unable to speak, I simply kissed him back, although there wasn’t anything simple about this kiss. It was rough and brutal, everything I’d come to know Zeke to be. But there was something deeper, an underlying hunger that belied all the kink I’d ever experienced.
His kiss was intoxicating. Pure, raw lust fueled us both. It had me hanging on for dear life as he ripped my T-shirt up over my head before he tossed it somewhere behind me. Somehow I managed to maintain my balance as he backed me toward the wall. My shoulders slammed up against it, but he didn’t stop. Zeke was on a mission, his hunger sharper than I’d ever seen it. Even the other night when he’d taken me bare in his bed. That had been as raw as it got, but there was something more here. A deeper, darker hunger. It made me feel powerful even as I felt overpowered by him.
When his fingers dipped into the waistband of my jeans, I inhaled sharply. He didn’t fumble with the button. Instead, he jerked it open, then practically ripped the zipper down before his big, rough hands slid inside the denim at my hips. He shoved hard, forcing my jeans and boxers down my legs.
Zeke’s black gaze lifted to mine but he wasn’t looking at me. He was… It was as though he was trying to peer into my soul, drawing every emotion I’d ever had to the forefront. I fought for air, my chest heaving when he went to his knees before me.
I wasn’t sure what I expected. Perhaps for him to jerk me roughly, or maybe for him to use his teeth because that was his sadistic nature. Instead, Zeke’s lips wrapped around the head of my dick and I groaned long and loud, the sensation far more intense than I expected.
I drew air into my lungs as my hand suddenly curled around the back of his head, smooth skin gliding over my palm. I held him there and he didn’t try to move away.
“Fuck, Zeke,” I said around a moan. “Ah, fuck, that feels good.”
Every second he sucked me, I expected him to jerk away, to throw me to the floor, to pin me to the wall. Anything except for him to continue. The man sucked me like he was starving, as though I was the sustenance he needed to survive. My hand slid over his head, my skin soaking up the feel of him. He had rarely allowed me to touch him, but I’d dreamed about it plenty.
His tongue glided over the underside of my shaft and I hissed, my head falling back as the sensations overwhelmed me. It was more than I ever thought I’d get from this man, and every second felt like an eternity, but still not enough. I wanted more of him. I wanted all of him.
And I prayed like hell he wasn’t going to discard me, because, although he’d tried to break me physically, I wasn’t sure the man was aware that he had all the power to break me in so many other ways.
Ways I feared I would never recover from.
THIRTY-FOUR
ZEKE
WHEN I LEFT THE OFFICE to come home, I’d had good intentions. I had mapped it out in my head, how I wanted to sit down and talk to them. My sister was right, that was the one thing we hadn’t done in the month we’d been together. I knew very little about them and vice versa.
However, the second I opened the front door, I had no idea what came over me. The moment I saw Brax, something clicked inside me. An emotion, a feeling, an urge, maybe? I was overwhelmed by a strange need to take care of him in any way that I could.
And yes, at some point this afternoon, I’d started thinking of them both by name. They were no longer just my fuck toys. They were so much more.
While it would’ve been easy to force my dominance on Brax, I didn’t. I was testing him, attempting to see just how human he would allow me to be. As I swallowed his dick, groaning as his salty taste coated my tongue, I felt a surge of power. More so than I did when I was hurting him. Oddly enough, it didn’t make me feel weak as I’d expected. It made me feel invincible.
“Fuck …” Brax thrust his hips forward, driving his cock deeper into my throat. “You’re gonna make me come, Zeke. I need permission to come. Fuck … it feels too good.”
I pulled my lips off his cock and stared up at him. Brax’s eyes jerked down to my face and I saw the real concern. He was trying to please me and he wasn’t sure he had. What he didn’t realize was that everything he did pleased me, even when it didn’t. The two of them had become part of me in the short time I’d known them. The thought of coming home to an empty house, not having them with me didn’t sit well.
“Come in my mouth, Brax,” I insisted, my eyes locked with his. The taste of his name was odd, but not in a bad way.
He cried out when I wrapped my lips around him again. Both hands curled around my head, holding me in place as I took him to the root. I growled and groaned, wanting him to feel the vibrations through his entire body.
“Zeke! Oh, fuck … oh, fuck… It’s too much. Ah, shit!”
Brax’s hips bucked as he forced his cock deeper into my mouth. Seconds later, he roared his release, his cock pulsing against my tongue. I drank him down, relishing his taste, his warmth. Pleasure coursed through my veins.
His body relaxed against the wall, his chest heaving. I pushed to my feet but didn’t move away. Instead, I pressed my lips to his, wanting him to taste himself on my tongue. This wasn’t my usual style. I was a planner, even when it came to sexual experiences. I had an end goal and a means to get there. With Brax, I was following my instinct, doing what felt right. In this moment, I wanted to please him.
I’d never done this before. Never given in to my baser urges like this. Not even with Matt.
Then again, what I felt for Matt paled in comparison to what I felt for the cowboy and the pretty boy. Brax and Case. It would take some time for me to get used to calling them that, but I would. If they would have me.
The question was, would they be able to handle me? Not only the Sadist but also the man?
I managed to pull away, staring into Brax’s eyes, looking for … something. I wasn’t sure what, but that insecurity waging war on my mind was undeniable. I needed some sort of c
onfirmation that I wasn’t setting myself up for failure.
That was my biggest fear, what had held me back all these years. Until Brax and Case appeared in my world, tipping everything off its perfectly balanced axis. Somehow, they had changed me. They had given me the safety and security I needed to open myself up to them. Maybe not verbally, but in all the ways that counted.
The sound of the front door opening had both our heads turning. Case stepped inside, his attention on the floor as he closed the door behind him. When he finally turned around and looked up, his eyes locked on the two of us. We were still standing against the wall, Brax’s jeans around his ankles.
“What’s … uh…?” Case looked confused, but that was quickly masked by something deeper, something darker. Something that looked a hell of a lot like pain.
Unable to resist, I stood tall and stalked toward him. Case’s eyes locked on my face as I neared. He appeared to be searching for something but I had no idea what. I wanted to ask him questions, to find out about his past, but I needed something else from him. A confirmation. I didn’t necessarily care about what experiences had formed him, more so about how he felt now. Today.
Without warning, I stepped right into his personal space, close enough that only a breath passed between us when I cupped his head. I wasn’t rough, but I wasn’t gentle, either. This man didn’t want gentle. He wanted the dark side of me, he wanted the Sadist. However, I was pushing that part back. For now.
Angling my head, I watched him as I moved in to kiss him. He didn’t budge. Didn’t try to move away. Case remained perfectly still even when I pressed my lips to his. At first, I thought he would reject me, push me away and make the decision for all three of us. That lasted all of two seconds and then his hands were on me and he was crushed up against my chest as I kissed him rough and hard, my desperation to have him near me winning out.
I forced myself to speak between kisses. “Can you taste Brax on my tongue?” I could still taste him and I knew Case could, too. It was an erotic intimacy I didn’t expect, but it soothed something in my soul. “Do you want to know what we did before you walked in?”
Their Ruthless Sadist (Office Intrigue, 5) Page 34
