The American Soldier Collection 16: Seeking Love in Salvation (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting)

by Dixie Lynn Dwyer

  “I think someone just wants to be held close and rocked to sleep,” she whispered.

  Roxie stared at her and leaned back, looking at her nails and away from the scene as if she didn’t even care.

  Valentina felt the tiny hand on her leg and looked to the right to see the four-year-old. “Is this your baby sister?” Valentina asked her.

  The little girl nodded. “She’s so sweet. Do you like babies?” she asked her, and the little girl nodded her head. Then she climbed up next to Valentina and sat beside her. She reached over and caressed her baby sister’s cheek. Valentina continued to rock the baby, and then the four-year-old crawled next to Valentina’s feet and sat close to her. She felt his hand on her leg and his head on her thigh. It took so much effort not to cry for these kids.

  She looked at their mother.

  “You want them, you can have them. They’re nothing but a burden,” she said and stood up.

  Valentina was shocked.

  “Sit back down right now,” she told her. Roxie looked at her and Valentina held her gaze with a firm expression. She may be a woman feeling for these kids right now, but she was still a cop and here to do a job. To catch a criminal, and now, to make sure these kids weren’t being abused and neglected.

  “Why?”

  “Because I told you to, and because if you don’t, I’m going to make your life a living hell.” Valentina didn’t know what came over her. She felt so protective of these kids right now. She was disgusted with this mother and what she was doing to them, or not doing to them. It wasn’t right at all.

  Roxie sat back down and Valentina saw the expression on her face. She had a bad feeling in her gut as she rocked the baby in her arms, who began to fall asleep.

  A glance down at the four- and six-year-olds and she saw them closing their eyes, too.

  Valentina looked at Roxie.

  “You want a better life for you and for these kids, then you tell me where Samuel is hiding out. Because right now, my boss and the detectives working this case aren’t giving me any more time with you. I’m pushing for you, Roxie. Thinking that you’ll come to your senses and put yourself and your kids before Samuel and potentially jail. Do you want to go to jail for holding back information leading to the arrest of a felon? You have other charges pending against you, I understand, from the detectives. These kids, and keeping them with you, have provided you more than a second chance.”

  “You think you can threaten to take my kids from me and put me in jail? I don’t care. Take them. I can’t take care of them anyway. Don’t want to, either.” Valentina held back her temper.

  “I don’t believe that. Samuel knows that you’re taking care of his kids.”

  “He’s the only reason I do. He takes care of me. Not you, not some detectives or even the snobby bitches in this place that try to tell me what to do and want me to work. With Samuel I don’t need to work. I can spread my legs, give my man all he needs, and take care of his kids.”

  “This is taking care of them? Beating the hell out of you? Breaking Tye’s little arm, bruising up Lena? That’s a good father to you? What will he do to Grace? She’s a baby, too. You’re their mother, start acting like it and get rid of this guy. Let us lock him up and help you get a new start. You can stay here and start working, taking some classes and learning a trade. They hook up plenty of women and help them and their children live a better quality of life.”

  Roxie stood up. “I told you I could care less about those kids. Without them, Samuel doesn’t come back to me. They serve my purpose.”

  “They’re babies. They deserve better. They deserve a mother and a father who care about them.”

  “Give me her.” Roxy grabbed at Grace, making the sleeping baby stir in Valentina’s arms.

  “Easy, Roxie, you’ll wake her or hurt her,” she said to her.

  “She’s my baby,” she said and took her from Valentina’s arms. The baby began to cry as Valentina tried to gently release her to her mother.

  Roxie reached down and grabbed the little boy Tye by his hair, pulling him away from Valentina. She then gave Lena, the four-year-old, a smack.

  “Get here with me now,” she yelled at the child and then looked at Valentina.

  “I won’t tell you anything, and if I were you, I’d watch my back, cop. Samuel is never far, and he always knows where his babies are. Always.”

  The kids were all crying and their faces, and the fear in their eyes as their mother pulled them away and out of the room, was enough to make Valentina sick.

  She had seen this type of situation time and time again as a cop in the city. It was the children who were going to suffer. She watched as the social worker followed Roxie, and Valentina knew that the social workers would try their hardest to teach Roxie how to treat her children. The problem was that Roxie was abused by Samuel, and she in turn abused the kids, and it was a vicious cycle.

  But God, how Valentina wished there was more she could do for them. This was out of her control. She was a cop investigating a case and trying to get a bad guy. The one woman who could put him away and save herself and her children downright refused to do so. How terrible was that?

  * * * *

  Lois watched Kenny run to Valentina as she walked up along the side of the house. Immediately, Lois saw her sad expression and then the smile as Kenny called out her name.

  Val lifted him up in her arms and hugged him tight.

  “I missed you,” he told her.

  “I missed you, too, munchkin,” she replied and then set him down and caressed his hair. Lois could tell she was deep in thought.

  “What’s going on?” Lois asked.

  She shook her head at her.

  “Long day,” Valentina said and then looked at Kenny as he climbed the jungle gym.

  “Are you okay? You seem upset,” Lois asked her.

  “I think I’m going to go for a run. I need to clear my head.”

  “Work was that bad?”

  “I’ll be fine,” Valentina said and headed toward the house.

  Lois worried about her and wondered what had happened at work to make her feel this way.

  “Hey, buddy, you want to help me with dinner?” Lois asked Kenny, and he came running to her.

  “Yes. I’m getting hungry.”

  Lois smiled and then headed inside with Kenny.

  * * * *

  Valentina showered after her run and then helped her sister clean up the kitchen from dinner. She felt restless and saw that it was only seven in the evening.

  “I’m going to go out for a bit. Maybe walk down the road or something, or by the swimming hole.”

  “You should take a flashlight and maybe your gun. God knows what’s lurking down here,” Lois said, truly worried about little critters and even spiders. She’d nearly screamed the house down last week when she saw one big spider in the shower.

  Valentina chuckled as she smoothed out the light floral romper she was wearing. It was a one-piece with shorts and a halter top that just barely covered the scar on her chest. She grabbed a light sweater just in case and headed out the back porch door.

  She didn’t know what to do. When she’d returned to work and told Gus about what went down at the shelter and how uncooperative Roxie was being, he wasn’t pleased. He understood Valentina’s concern over the kids and informed her that social services had already been involved and that the social workers felt that the kids weren’t safe with Roxie. They were considering taking them from her if she abused one of them again. They were keeping a close eye on her and the kids.

  Valentina felt so sick to her stomach. She’d hardly eaten dinner. She kept looking at Kenny and Lois. Her sister got out of her abusive relationship with Caden, but he still went after her and Kenny. She shivered from her own thoughts and memories. She pulled on the sweater and headed straight toward the water and the picnic table that sat down there, along with benches and a grill. The grill was set up for a barbecue and cemented into the ground. She could jus
t imagine cooking on the grill while the Brazos family was swimming and having fun with the rest of their family.

  She thought about her life and about being a cop. She was young still, twenty-four, and in five years of being a cop, she’d seen more than her share of bad shit. It had hardened her in so many ways. She thought about Roxie and about the abuse, and her love for Samuel. Yet she said she didn’t love her kids. She saw them as a burden, and yet knew that Samuel only came back to see them, not her. Why was she staying loyal to him? Was there a way for a therapist to get through to her? Was she so far gone, so abused and abusive, that it didn’t matter? She didn’t care about herself or her life, so why would she care about her kids?

  The tears filled her eyes and she leaned back and stared out at the water and the quietness. The fear in those babies’ eyes sat with her even now.

  Samuel had broken Tye’s arm and bruised up Lena, and God only knew how he could hurt Grace. They were such beautiful kids. She wished she could do more, but she couldn’t. She learned early in her police career that she couldn’t take other people’s problems home with her. As much as she wanted to help or felt for them, it wasn’t her job. Her job was to catch bad guys, to put killers behind bars, and to seek justice for victims’ families by finding those responsible for violent crimes against them and their loved ones.

  Somehow along the way, after nearly losing Kenny and Lois and coming so close to dying, her views about not getting involved and keeping a separation were changing. Maybe she couldn’t be a cop anymore. She didn’t even know if she could shoot someone if she had to. Sure, she passed all the tests she was required to take after being shot in order to get back to active duty, but then seeing Kenny and Lois so scared and suffering made her change her mind. She had to change her life to help them. That was what family did.

  But who would help Tye, Lena, and Grace? Who would give them the chance for a better life and to grow up un-abused, un-victimized, and happy and healthy and loved? Who? Roxie and Samuel sure weren’t going to. Those babies were going to wind up in the system, and it just broke her heart.

  “Valentina?”

  She gasped as she heard her name, turning around on the bench to see Beck, Ridge, Jace, and Sparrow.

  “Hey, what’s going on?” she asked and then faced the water again as she leaned back against the picnic table. They all gathered around her. Jace and Beck sat on the top of the table with their boots on the bench seat, Ridge sat right next to her, and Sparrow sat on her other side.

  “We saw you come down here a while ago. Everything okay?” Sparrow asked her.

  She felt Beck’s and Sparrow’s shoulders brush up against her and sensed the others so close. It gave her a good feeling—a happy one—and she smiled softly.

  “I needed this. Thanks.”

  “For what? We just got here,” Beck asked.

  “For coming down here. For sitting close to me and surrounding me. It feels good. Right?” she said to them.

  “Did you have a bad day?” Sparrow asked her.

  She took a deep breath and exhaled.

  “I guess you could say that. It was a bit heartbreaking and upsetting to me, and now I’m down here letting my mind wander over all the things that have happened. I’m feeling different. I don’t know.” She leaned forward and Beck caressed her back under her sweater. When his warm hand caressed her bare shoulder underneath, she leaned against him and he held her to his side.

  “What happened? Maybe if you talk about it we could help?” Jace asked her.

  “Do you really want to know?” she asked.

  “You’re upset, maybe we can help,” Sparrow said.

  She explained about the case she was working on and about her visits the last week. She told them about her feelings and about what she learned about Roxie. When she got to today’s events, she stood up and looked at them. The four of them watched her, giving her their full attention, and she could tell they were getting upset, too.

  “So I was holding her in my arms and she calmed down. I mean, if Roxie would just give her some loving and some comfort and hold her like she cared...” She shook her head and lowered her arms.

  “It sounds like she doesn’t, though. Like maybe she stopped believing in loving and caring for another human being. Like maybe she’s obsessed with getting any attention from Samuel, even abusive, negative attention, it’s still attention,” Ridge said to her.

  “You’re right, but they’re just babies. Scared, exhausted babies who need love and attention. I spoke to my boss and it seems like, since Roxie is resistant to changing and to putting her kids first, social services might take them from her. The social workers at the shelter can’t let her get away with being abusive physically and verbally to the kids. My God, the baby is only one year old. One,” she said and turned around and hugged herself. A moment later she felt strong arms wrap around her. Beck was there, placing his face next to her cheek.

  “These things happen, Valentina. You know that as a cop and, sure, it gets to you. You wouldn’t be human or have a heart if it didn’t. You feel compelled to help her and there’s no reason you can’t keep trying to get through to Roxie, is there?”

  She turned around to face him.

  “She doesn’t want the help. She really doesn’t care. All I can do is wait and see what happens next.”

  “Maybe if social services does take the kids it will be a wakeup call for her. They could try to work things out and get her counseling. They always try to keep the kids together and with their mother,” Ridge said to her.

  “Getting abused changes a person. Makes them want to see things as they wish they could be, instead of the way they are,” she whispered and then ran her fingers along the top of her chest and the scar there. Beck covered her fingers with his.

  “Is that what happened to you and Lois? Was your sister abused?” Beck asked, and she was caught off guard.

  He pulled her back toward the table and bench and sat down. He lifted her up and she straddled his hips. Beck wrapped his arms around her waist and she held onto his shoulders. She looked at his dark blue eyes and his crew-cut hair as she felt the muscles under her fingertips as well as under her ass. Sparrow caressed her left thigh while Jace caressed her right thigh. Ridge slid down off the table and walked behind her. He placed his hands on her shoulders, under the sweater.

  “Is that what happened?” Sparrow asked her and leaned forward to kiss her bare arm. Her sweater fell off her shoulders and she moved it off the rest of the way and placed it on her lap. Then she ran her palms up over Beck’s chest and the blue shirt he wore.

  “Before Kenny was born, Caden was abusing Lois.” She heard their sighs of anger, maybe disgust, but she went on. Ridge continued to caress her shoulders. They were all touching her, and remaining close to her, and she pulled from their strength and presence.

  “It’s a long story, but eventually my sister got out of the relationship. Caden was involved with selling illegal drugs and doing other stuff. He retired from the service and he lost his way. He had some close friends that were doing shit, and Lois got caught in the middle. I helped her to get out and to get away from Caden, but it didn’t last long.”

  “The guy was a soldier?” Ridge asked.

  “A Marine,” she told them.

  “What happened in New York?” Sparrow asked.

  She took a deep breath. She could do this.

  “I was watching Kenny for Lois. He hadn’t been feeling well and she had to work. Caden showed up at the apartment, along with another thug friend. He forced his way inside and they both went after me. They knocked me around and Don dragged me kicking and screaming to the bathroom. He shoved me in there and he barricaded the door somehow. I tried getting it open. I kept kicking at it and hitting it. I could hear Kenny crying for help.”

  She shook her head and felt the tears in her eyes.

  “You must have been so scared. What happened next?” Beck asked her.

  “I was desperate to get out o
f there. I grabbed the shower curtain rod and kept banging it against the door knob and the wooden door. Then I heard my sister screaming. I remember thinking, ‘Why is she home? She shouldn’t have been home for another hour. Maybe they let her off early because Kenny was sick?’ I didn’t know, but then Kenny was yelling to ‘stop hurting Mommy’ and he was crying and it sounded like they were hurting him. I could hear Lois screaming. God, it was so terrible and desperate sounding.”

  She paused and ran her fingers through her hair. Even now, she could feel her heart racing talking about it. Sparrow and Jace caressed her thighs. Ridge kissed her shoulder as Beck held her gaze.

  “Take your time,” he whispered.

  “I was frantic and slammed that metal pole so damn hard I finally broke the knob. I got it open and when I looked down the hallway, there was Don, his back facing me. His foot was on little Kenny’s back, holding him to the floor as he laughed and watched whatever Caden was doing. I was so angry and scared I ran with the pole and slammed it against him, making Don fall to the floor and away from Kenny. Kenny ran to the right and I looked at Caden. I looked at Caden and…”

  She covered her face with her hands and began to cry. She was sobbing and Beck pulled her against his chest, wrapped her up in his arms, and held her close. He kissed her forehead and her cheeks and rocked her in his arms. She needed a few seconds to calm down and she pulled back. She shook her head.

  “I can’t,” she said and tried getting up, but Beck wouldn’t let her, nor would the others. “Get it out, honey. Just let it go and tell us. Maybe talking about it will help you to heal. We won’t tell anyone about this. We won’t share what you tell us,” Sparrow said to her. She looked at him and held his gaze.

  “You can’t. Lois would be devastated. She isn’t over any of it. She’s been seeing a counselor and Kenny, too. He saw so much. Too much,” she said as more tears rolled down her cheeks.

  Jace reached over and gently caressed them away.

  “You don’t need to tell us every detail. Just how you guys got out and got away?” he said to her, and she knew it was because he wanted to know about her scars. About getting shot.