I shake my head, wishing that there was something I could do for him, but at the same time knowing that there isn’t.
“Wow, Weston. Have you looked into maybe seeing someone?”
He shakes his head, anger flashing in his features before it’s soothed and he goes back to just looking tired. “Nah man, I’ll be okay. Just wanted to get it off my chest.”
I put my hand out to touch his shoulder, “You sure?”
He smiles and me and shakes my hand off. “Yeah, really I feel better already.”
He takes off into a quick paced run and effectively ends the conversation. I run to catch up to him but he stays ahead of me until we’re back to our trucks. He hops in and gives me a wave. He says he’s okay but…I just wish I believed him.
~Elli~
I smooth down my dress again and gaze at my reflection in the mirror. This woman staring back at me is someone I haven’t seen in such a long time. I bring my eyes up from scanning my features and really search my face. I don’t see the dark circles anymore that used to accompany my daily appearance. I don’t see the lingering sadness that used to surround me and go with me everywhere.
I see someone ready to live. I see someone who I thought I would never be again.
Before I got married I was a shy but tenacious girl. I lived with my parents in a small town and we were like the three musketeers. My mom got sick when I started high school and I didn’t handle it very well. That’s when Garrett came in and showed me kindness and love. He was the football star of the school and I was the mousy little blonde who didn’t really want to make the effort to be included in any of the cliques. He had to really go out of his way to be around me. I thought he was so handsome but I really didn’t fall for him right away.
It was a slow build that resulted in a beautiful marriage…until the end. He was truly my best friend and my confidant, he did everything for me. I think what I miss most about him was having someone to talk to all the time, someone who knew me so completely that he could practically read my thoughts without me having to give any indication.
I shake my head, my ponytail swinging behind me. Raid’s already given me that back and I’ve known him a fraction of the time I knew my husband.
Is this how it’s supposed to happen?
Is this what I read about in my books?
I smirk, the anticipation of seeing my guy again and actually going out on a date. Gosh, I haven’t been out on a date in what feels like forever. I smile, loving how my face actually lights up again.
I check my phone and it reads six o’clock, only fifteen minutes and Raiden will be here. I take one final look at my reflection and turn to head down the stairs to wait. Dahlia walks in front of me headed straight for the back door so I open it for her and follow her out to sit on the bench and watch her sniff around the yard. I look out at my yard and my dog and just don’t feel the gaping emptiness that used to saturate my life. I’m sitting there absorbing feeling so uninhibited, completely unaware of my surroundings when I hear the back door open, which then causes me to jump three feet in the air, clutching my chest.
I spin around and there is Raiden with the most terrified look on his face, which only causes me to start laughing so hard I start wheezing.
“Oh my…fuck babe, I’m sorry for scaring you!”
I bend over and clutch my chest still laughing. He drops the flowers I just noticed he had and rushes over to me. He bends down and puts his big hands on my face, forcing me to look at him.
“Raid, really I’m okay.” I straighten up and lean my cheek further into one of his hands. “Hi, handsome.”
He smiles down at me and I swear my heart tries to beat out of my chest to get closer to him.
“Hi, sweet girl.”
Oh, there goes my heart again.
He stares down at me with an emotion I can’t quite place but I consider it to be a good one because he leans down and plants a soft kiss on my lips. When his lips brush against mine it’s as if someone poured gasoline on me and lit me up with a match.
I let out a moan and wind my hands up to the back of his neck to pull on the hair there. He lets out a growl and kisses me harder, putting his hands on my waist and gripping me to him. I lean back and pant, really wishing that there were more of the hot kisses and less of the obstructive clothes. As if he can read my very naughty thoughts, he leans his forehead against mine and lets out a deep sigh.
“Baby if you keep that up, we won’t be going on our date.”
I swear his eyes turn into smoldering embers when I put on a sheepish smirk and bite my lower lip.
“I’m okay with that.”
I really feel that Raiden growling is my new favorite sound in the world because every time he does it, I go zero to one hundred in the drenched panty department. I love how my body picks up on every vibe he’s giving off. I’ve never been so totally in tune with someone else. He finishes growling at me and soaking my panties in the process, then grabs one of my hands and spins me around in a circle.
He lets out a low whistle. “Baby you sure are beautiful.” He says it with such a strong inflection of devotion that it almost causes my knees to give out.
I can’t even speak he has such an effect on me. He spins me into him and then we’re dancing. Moving back and forth, to no music at all just the sound of our breathing and our heartbeats. He moves us so effortlessly, me so small in his big muscular arms. We fit together so perfectly. We keep moving like this, dancing in slow circles together when I feel a cold nose in the back of my knee. I giggle, Dahlia’s nose tickling my skin. Raid stops us and bends down to pet her behind her ears which causes her to drop to the ground and demand belly scratches which he then happily provides. I can’t help but laugh seeing this big guy wrapped around one spoiled dog’s little paw.
“Okay Dahlia,” he says straightening back up to tower over me. “Stay here, watch the house, good dog.” She perks up at “good dog” and follows us inside.
Raid takes my keys and makes sure to secure the house before opening his truck’s passenger side door and helping me up, copping a feel of my booty in the process. I feel so light and happy that it just makes me giggle some more. I love feeling so free and peaceful, finally.
He starts up his truck and heads out to the highway.
“Am I allowed to know where we’re going?” He glances over at me and smiles.
It strikes me then how much I love making him smile. I don’t know if I am the sole reason for it or what but when that man smiles…I feel like falling in love with him.
“Well, we are stopping at my house then I have a surprise for you.”
I angle my body so I can face him more fully and reach my hand out, stroking his bicep. He immediately shivers and I love that I can affect him like he does me. I stay facing him, the side of my head leaning against the headrest until we reach his house.
He gets out and I watch him round the front of his truck until he’s standing right there, waiting for me. He offers me a hand and I take it, feeling the sparks fly up my arm making my whole body tingle with excitement.
We barely make it to the front door before it flies open and standing before us is a woman only slightly taller than me with rich brunette hair and at least half of Raiden’s gorgeous features. They have the same eyes and I immediately love her for it. Before either of us can introduce me, she steps off the porch and rushes at me, arms wide open.
“Oh honey, I am so happy to meet you!” She pulls me in and hugs me with enough force to make me believe she wrestles bears in her down time.
I laugh and hug her back as hard as I can. “I am so glad to meet you, Mrs. Michaels.”
She steps back, her hands still gripping my shoulders. “Call me Rita, honey.”
Raid chuckles from somewhere near us. “Mama you could have at least let her get in the door before you mauled her.”
She tuts at him, which looks hilarious because of their size differences and pulls me in the door, Raiden following not fa
r behind.
~Raiden~
Honestly, I worried Mama wouldn’t like Elli. Every time I thought about bringing her over I would start feeling angsty and panicky. I never brought home a woman before, not when I was in high school and definitely not between tours. There wasn’t any point, those girls never stuck around to mean something, I made sure of that.
I already know Elli is different, I feel differently around her. Like I am a changed man, I don’t even know how I was satisfied with what I had before. I could never just drop her, I think I’m too far gone now especially.
I realize now that I should have brought her over sooner, any doubts I had, disappear as I watch Mama lead her into the kitchen and sit her on a bar stool, chattering away about things I don’t care to listen to. I’m too busy taking in the scene before me, my two favorite women in the world in the same room getting along really very well. It makes my heart do funny things in my chest, reminding me just how much Eli affects me. I stay silent, love being around both of them and their infectious energy.
After this, I plan on taking my girl back to my favorite spot on the beach and giving her a night she’ll never forget. I received some good news from my superiors today and I can’t wait to tell her. I haven’t even told Mama yet but I know she’ll love that I won’t be in dangerous situations any longer. I don’t even really know what I am going to do when I get out but I feel at this point I could do anything I wanted.
Mama is still chewing Elli’s ear off and she is absolutely soaking it up. I love how well they’re getting along. I feel my phone start vibrating in my pocket so I pull it out and see it’s a text from Weston.
Weston: Can’t do it anymore, man.
Me: What do ya mean? Do what?
Weston: Too many lives lost, they fucking haunt me.
I stare down at my phone, the only sound I hear is the blood rushing through my ears. This just doesn’t feel right, something is so terribly wrong.
Me: Where are you?
Weston: Doesn’t matter. This ends now.
I can’t see, I can’t breathe. My best friend. Fuck, not my best friend.
I don’t register Elli coming up to me, I don’t hear Mama gently calling my name. I am so numb and so terrified that my best friend is going to kill himself and that I’ll be too late.
Too late. Fuck I have to go.
I shake my head and my girls are standing in front of me fear written on their faces. “I…I… It’s Weston.” Elli’s face goes deathly pale and she turns to Mama.
“Rita, we have to go.” She frowns but doesn’t say anything else, just puts a loving hand on my shoulder before we walk out the door.
I hop in the truck, forgetting to be a gentleman and open my girl’s door for her but she climbs up without a fuss and tells me to drive. I don’t know what I would do if she wasn’t here telling me what to do. I have so much unimaginable fear in my heart that I can barely operate.
“Raid,” she says so softly I almost don’t hear her. I look over, my face stoic. “You need to pull out of it.” She doesn’t continue, she doesn’t offer any words of strength or advice, just “you need to pull out of it.”
She’s right.
I am a United States Marine, I can fucking handle this.
I punch the accelerator headed toward Weston’s house. Thankfully he isn’t far and it takes us no time at all. I just pray we aren’t too late. I pray he’s actually there.
“Elli, I need you to stay here.” She opens her mouth to argue but I give her a warning look.
If something already happened I don’t want her anywhere near it. I hop out and slam the door to my truck, taking off to the front door.
I open it when I realize it isn’t locked. It’s so dark in here, the sun having gone down only thirty minutes ago but there aren’t any lights on inside. I feel along the wall for a light switch and flip it on when my fingers brush up against it. My eyes take a second to adjust to the sudden brightness and when they do all I want is to slam them shut. Weston is sitting on the floor, back against the wall that leads to his living room, with a 9mm in his hand. I can see the safety is off and he doesn’t so much as glance my way when he notices I’m here.
“Weston, buddy you need to look at me,” I say it softly but with authority, hoping his military training will trigger a response to command.
He turns his head slowly toward me and when I take in his features, I feel my heart crash through my body and land at my feet. His eyes are bloodshot and full of sorrow, blue almost black circles are shadowed under them and he looks about ten shades more pale than normal.
I drop to my knees to get on his level and start to move toward him. He watches me and tightens his grip on the gun. I notice it and stop moving, not wanting to cause him to make any rash decisions.
“Weston, I need you to talk to me.”
He moves his eyes in my direction but he looks right through me. He pauses for a few beats then speaks quietly and full of anguish.
“I just can’t live with this...this fucking guilt.”
He throws his head forward between his knees, then back as hard as he can into the wall behind him. It startles me but still I move to get closer to him, feeling the time slipping through my fingers like sand.
“Buddy, it’s going to be okay. We can get you someone to talk to.”
He levels his gaze at me and the hair on the back of my neck stands on end.
“I survived when they died. Our brothers. Died. Raiden, DON’T YOU GET THAT?” His tone rattles me, this person in front of me isn’t who I know, I don’t know this man. He shakes his head in disgust at me and brings the gun up to his face, examining it with sick curiosity.
“Weston, I’m begging you, man, put it down.”
He smirks, chilling my blood. He throws his head back in a cold laugh so I use that to my advantage, moving to tackle him to the floor. He may be down right now but he’s just as strong as I am and he’s desperate. He throws an expert punch and it strikes me in the temple, rendering me dizzy, giving him enough time to get on top of me. I reach up to knock him over and we’re locked in a deadly wrestling match. The gun is clutched by both of us, one hand over the other, waving in the air pointing right toward the open doorway. I almost have him off of me, the gun almost in my control. I am so close to having him pinned when he pulls the trigger. The gunshot nearly shatters my eardrums, ringing becoming the only sound in my world.
Somehow, amongst the aftershock of the bullet firing, a small feminine gasp floats in through the open doorway and nearly puts an end to my entire world.
~Elli~
Can this really be happening right now? My stomach aches from being in knots so tight I think I might die with worry. Raid is in there with Weston who is clearly not in the right state of mind.
God what if he’s already…no I can’t think like that. He isn’t Garrett. It isn’t too late.
I let out a frustrated breath and slam my head back into the headrest. What am I doing? My guy is in there. Mine, my person is in there with someone who is going through what my husband went through. I have to do something. How am I still just sitting here!? I have to do something, anything. Maybe I can help.
I unbuckle my belt and start toward the house. The warm wind whips at my hair, the smell of eucalyptus tickling my nose. The front door is open and I hear Raid’s voice speaking lowly to Weston.
“Buddy, it’s going to be okay. We can get you someone to talk to.” I pause, letting Raid talk to him.
You’re doing good, give Weston options, sweetie, you can talk him down from this. I keep listening hoping that Weston is in a place where he will listen to his best friend and not do anything rash.
The wind picks up again so I don’t hear anything until Weston yells, “Our brothers. Died. Raiden, DON’T YOU GET THAT?”
I flinch, he doesn’t sound like he’s going to listen. I have to get in there, I have to try to help. I can’t let someone else go through the despair Garrett did. It wouldn’t be right to l
et someone else fall victim to PTSD, to let them suffer.
I turn and stride again toward the front door with purpose. When I step up and into the entryway what I see has me clutching my chest and my heart absolutely breaking. Raid and Weston are rolling around on the floor, trying their very best to get the other on their back and or away from him. They are both so strong, they are both so willful.
I’m so stunned that I don’t move when I see Weston get the best of my sweet Raid. I am so scared that I don’t move when I know the gun that has been so tightly clutched by both men is pointed directly at me. The only thought that crosses my mind in that very moment is how much I love Raiden and how I hope with all my heart I live to let him know that.
Blinding pain.
Darkness.
Warmth.
Light.
No more pain.
Just warm light.
Warm hands.
“Open your eyes, Elli girl.” Garrett?
“Come on love, open your eyes.” Garrett.
When I open my eyes he’s standing there in front of me. I attempt to look up at him but the light is too bright.
“Garrett, how are you here?”
He laughs, a laugh I loved more than life itself at one time. A time that seems so very distant.
“You came here to me my Elli girl, but you aren’t meant to stay here.”
I tilt my head, not understanding the meaning behind that.
“What? Where are we?”
He bends down so I can see his eyes.
“Heaven baby, we’re in Heaven.”
I shake my head, taking a step back, he steps with me.
“No, what about…what about Raiden?” I catch his eyes and they shine with such love and devotion it’s nearly suffocating.
“He’s waiting for you.” He doesn’t say it with any sadness, with any hatred, only acceptance, and happiness.
“Where, where is he?”
Quicksand Page 14
