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Camp Paramore

Page 7

by Wendy Lea Thomas


  “And how did I earn that scholarship? By fucking you? I must be really good if it got me a scholarship!” I said.

  “You know that’s not true. Money is not the issue here and we both know it. I want you here with me, Aria. I can’t bear the thought of being away from you,” Avery said as he stepped hesitantly toward me like he was afraid I was going to lash out at him.

  “Go for a run. I’ll be here when you get back,” he said wrapping his strong arms around me.

  I let my head lean against his chest. I still didn’t speak. I had too much going through my head. I nodded and turned to go change into my running clothes.

  “Aria,” Avery called out to me. I stopped and turned toward him. “Please just think about it and we’ll talk more when you get back,” he added.

  I nodded, made my way to the bedroom, changed quickly, then darted down the stairs, and out of the cabin door.

  My feet pounded hard on the forest floor and my mind raced. The more I thought about Avery and his control issues, the harder I ran. I was my own person. I had always been independent. I never had to think of justifying my actions to anyone else until now and I wasn’t sure how to go about it. I needed to tell Avery what I was thinking and feeling and I knew I couldn’t be angry when I talked to him.

  I smiled as I thought about Avery knowing I needed this run to help me process his gesture. I loved that he understood me enough to step back from what he wanted and let me come to a decision on my own. I don’t know what scared me more, loving someone with all my heart, or losing myself in the process.

  My heart rate skyrocketed so I finally slowed my pace and turned back toward Avery’s cabin. My breathing raged, my muscles burned, and I knew that I had pushed myself too hard.

  I thought about camp and how much I had grown in the past two months. I didn’t have any regrets. I could only hope that I didn’t regret my next decision. But the more I thought about going back home the more my mind took me to my next dilemma. How was I going to leave Avery to run a sex camp? He could have any woman here with a single glance. Dammit all to hell.

  Avery was waiting for me with an ice-cold bottle of water. He had his swimming shorts on and I smiled up at him. Once again, he knew what I needed. I felt like a selfish ass and my heart clenched knowing that I was about to hurt Avery.

  “Thanks,” I said, out of breath. I quickly downed half the bottle.

  “You’re welcome, Kitten,” Avery said, trying to read my mood.

  I pulled my lips away from the bottle of water. “I think we should come up with a different nickname for me. I’m no longer a Kitten in your sex camp,” I said, avoiding the real subject at hand.

  “You’re welcome, Cupcake,” Avery said with a twisted smile on his face. I shook my head at him. He chuckled.

  “No,” we both said at the same time, grinning.

  “I’ll keep trying,” Avery said, taking my hand and leading me toward the waterfall. I could hear the reverberation of his words and the double meaning it held. Avery wasn’t going to give up on getting me to move in with him. He was a man who always got what he wanted.

  I stripped off my t-shirt and shorts and dove into the spring-fed water in my sports bra and underwear. I had to tell Avery my decision and fast before I lost my nerve.

  I watched Avery’s sculpted body dive in behind me and I waited for him to surface. His eyes met mine and I could see the predatory look in them.

  He swam up next to me, wrapped his arms around my thighs, and brought my legs around him. Even in this cold water, I could feel how much he wanted me.

  He slid my underwear to the side and sank his middle finger inside me. I tilted my head back and a moan escaped me. I needed this. I needed Avery. Our talk could wait.

  Before I could blink, Avery removed his finger and replaced it with his long shaft. His mouth covered mine and once again, we were lost in each other.

  “Tell me what you decided,” Avery said, swiveling his hips into mine. He stopped and I opened my eyes to see Avery’s determination. He wasn’t continuing until I answered him.

  I squirmed around him trying to help myself to the pleasure but his hands on my hips stopped me. Ugh, we’re going to do this now?

  I took a deep breath and hoped for the best. “Avery, I’m at least going to do this semester in Ohio.” Avery moved his hips out away from me and I struggled to reel him back in. “Then I will consider transferring to Penn State next semester after I have some time to look into it…and after we’ve had some time to get to know each other better.” Avery ground back into me. He was smirking at me. He wasn’t upset.

  “And…?” Avery said, pulling almost all the way out of me. He was teasing me. This was a game and Avery was winning. I wouldn’t get my reward until I told him how I felt.

  “I’m scared to lose my independence because I get so wrapped up in you that I don’t want anything else except this,” I said, digging my heels into his backside and forcing him to move deeper inside of me.

  He sucked in a breath and momentarily got caught up in the feel of me. Then his game face returned. “Cheater,” he teased. “Just for that, we’re getting out.”

  I scoffed as Avery pulled us from the water and tossed me on the lagoon-side bed. I giggled from his playfulness and watched as he quickly climbed over me.

  He peeled my underwear from me and gently held me down by my wrists.

  “Tell me, Aria, don’t hide your feelings from me,” he said. I could see the severity in his meaning by the look in his eyes.

  Avery held his hard shaft at my entrance but he didn’t enter me. I knew that the only way to get him inside me was if I confessed my fears. He listened diligently.

  I swallowed and continued. “I’m afraid to lose who I am when I’m with you. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve loved every minute with you since we’ve been together, but think about it Avery, we’ve done nothing except drown ourselves in each other since then. It’s not healthy to move too fast. That’s how couples burn out. I went from being an independent woman to totally depending on you in one short summer. It scares the hell out of me. What’s worse is, I’m going from seeing you twenty-four-seven to only seeing you on weekends and then I get jealous knowing that you will be surrounded by all these sexy women at camp and what’s stopping you from being with one of them instead of me?”

  Avery moaned and sank back inside me at the same time his lips found mine. He hissed and brought his hips away and back into me. He released my wrists and ran his hands over every inch of my body.

  “Aria, you will never understand how beautiful you really are. You’re not a fake person. You tell people how you really feel. You’re genuine and that…makes you the most beautiful woman in the world,” he grinned.

  “Make love to me, Avery,” I begged, grinding my hips into his. I placed my fingers over his mouth to stop his kiss. He pulled back a little.

  “Avery? When do I get to see Camp Paramore?” I whispered teasing him as cute as I could.

  “Soon Kitten, very soon,” Avery whispered, teasing me back, then softly kissing the tip of my nose.

  “Your Kitten has grown up,” I said and within moments, we were lost in each other.

  *****

  Two and a half weeks later in September…

  I woke this morning without Avery by my side and once again, my gut clenched like someone had just kicked me. It had been such a busy week with classes that I felt like I’d hardly been home.

  In Star Trek Generations, the villain says: that time is the fire in which we burn. And my summer with Avery had ended in that fire, a flame with memories that become more distant everyday. We got so lost in each other, on our last day together, that I still hadn’t seen Camp Paramore yet. We simply ran out of time.

  I hadn’t seen Sara in four days. She always left before I got up and I got home after she’d gone to bed. Was I wrong to want to do one more semester in Ohio? Was I being selfish? This was really starting to suck being here without the man of my dreams.
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  I forced myself to sit up on the side of the bed and rubbed my eyes. The bed felt cold last night, again. I hadn’t sleep well at all. I had grown so dependent on the warmth of Avery’s arms wrapped around me that when he wasn’t with me, I felt bare.

  I smiled, looking down at Avery’s favorite Chasing Seven t-shirt that he snuck into my bag before I left. I had worn it in Maui and I could remember the smirk he wore when he eyed me in it for the first time. One thing led to another and we never did get breakfast made that morning. We spent that day in bed and oh, how he made my body come alive… okay, I needed to stop fantasizing and get back to reality.

  I sighed heavily and dragged myself into the shower. The hot water cascaded down my body and energized me at the same time. I forced my thoughts to the task at hand of washing my body and my hair and tried not to miss Avery. But God, I did.

  I hurried to rinse myself and left the shower with a frown. I couldn’t even take a shower without thinking of him. School was the only thing I could use to distract myself from this feeling. I buried myself in schoolwork and hoped that the days would fly by. That’s all I could do.

  I threw on a pair of khaki shorts, a burgundy form-fitted t-shirt, and dried my hair. I was pulling my hair into a ponytail when Avery texted me.

  “Morning, Pumpkin.” I smiled. So far other than ‘Kitten’ nothing was working.

  I texted back, “Morning, baby, missed you in the shower. Pumpkin is a word for a child. Try again.”

  Avery sent me a winky smile and I giggled like a schoolgirl.

  “Look under your bed,” he texted.

  I rushed to the bed and knelt beside it. I smiled as I brought out the long rectangular box wrapped in gold paper with a white bow. I quickly dialed Avery.

  “Did you open it?” his velvety voice said.

  “Not yet.” I sat up on the bed, crossed my legs, and ripped into it. I lifted the lid to find a silver Pandora’s bracelet. I gasped.

  My fingers went straight to the blue butterfly charm. The next one was a pink flower. Beside it there was a white flower, volleyball, and a football. Next was a silver heart that he had engraved that said ‘Aria’ on one side and ‘Avery’ on the other, a fairy-tale book charm, a silver open-heart charm, palm trees, and a blue, a pink, and a white trinity charm.

  I brushed my fingers across the multiple charms and looked at each one. The last one was his logo for Camp Jameson. It was everything that we’d done together this past summer. I took a deep breath and read the note…

  My Sweet Aria,

  I cherish you each and every moment we get to spend together and I cherish the thought of you even more when we’re apart. I know that we may be in different states but my heart is always with you. This bracelet is all of my fondest memories of our time together since we’ve met. My hope is that if you ever miss me that you’ll just look down at your wrist and you’ll smile because baby, this is just the beginning of the memories we’ll make together.

  Yours always,

  Avery

  “Aria, you there?” Avery inquired.

  Tears ran down my face. This was exquisite. Everything held so much meaning.

  “I love it,” I said, breathless.

  “Look in your closet,” Avery said. I could hear the smile in his voice.

  I looked in the bottom and brought out a perfectly wrapped gift box. I lifted the lid and reached in for the heavy item wrapped in bubble wrap.

  I sat astonished by the lengths of what Avery had done. He must have had Sara hide these while I was at class.

  It was a glass heart, about the size of a large grapefruit, filled with sand. On the front was a picture frame that held a picture of Avery and me. Sara had taken it during our last night on the yacht. Our skin was tanned deep from the sun. I was smiling widely up at Avery, he was looking down at me fondly, and we had our hands clasped together against his chest.

  I remembered when Sara took that. Avery had just whispered that he loved me and I thought we were alone.

  Below the picture was a silver plate with the words ‘Maui’ engraved in cursive on it.

  “Thank you so much. I can’t believe you did this.”

  “You’re welcome. Have a good day, Schmoopie. I love you,” he said.

  “I love you too, and try again,” I gushed.

  I hung up the phone, put on the bracelet, and I set off to get ready for school. I played with each charm. I would always wear this and think of him.

  *****

  Two weeks later…

  “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck,” I thought in my head as the professor handed me back my calculus exam. I did worse than I thought. I used to be good at math.

  As I made my way toward my silver Chrysler 200, I was contemplating the last few weeks, wondering where the hell did the time go?

  Nothing worked out like I’d planned. My school load was massive from the first day and I was so slammed up to my ears with thirty page papers and group power-point presentations that I was dreaming of nursing concepts and assessing patients in my sleep.

  My full load was overwhelming and I was barely keeping my head above water. If I didn’t have a paper due, I was reading five chapters a day for each class, to keep up with the reading material to get me to the next test. And the notecards, I had notecards coming out of my ears. It was a requirement to use notecards for studying because there was so much material. Who knew Human Growth & Development would be so hard? Who knew Microbiology would be so difficult?

  Sometimes, I seriously doubted my choice to be a nurse and it was only my sophomore year… I was ripped from my mental meltdown when my cell phone rang.

  “Miss me?” Avery’s voice trickled down my body and made me melt on the spot. I missed him so much.

  “Hi baby, you’ll never know just how much,” I said, trying to hide the sadness in my voice that had appeared ten minutes ago when I received a ‘D’ on my exam. I was starting to wonder if my professors knew any other letter.

  “You’re upset. What’s wrong?” Avery said.

  “You don’t miss a thing. I just failed my exam. I got a D,” I said exasperated, as I threw my backpack into my car and climbed in.

  Avery got silent for a moment. “Three C’s and two D’s this week. Rough week, huh?”

  “Yep,” I bleated.

  “At least you passed, right?” he said, trying to cheer me up.

  “I have to maintain a B average or else I lose my scholarship. I’m so screwed,” I said, fighting the tears that were bursting to come forth.

  Avery sighed heavily over the phone. “I know just what you need,” Avery’s voice said deeply, almost as if he were beside me.

  “A new brain?” I said trying to lighten the conversation.

  “A great big cheeseburger. And then ice cream,” he said.

  “It’s ten thirty in the morning,” I replied.

  “So. Call it an early lunch,” Avery said. He knew how to make me feel better. I was so grateful.

  “You sound lost in thought,” Avery interrupted my over active mind.

  “Just thinking how lucky I am to have you,” I smiled through the phone at him.

  “What else?” he asked as he tried to see where this conversation was going.

  “Are you ever scared?” I asked.

  “About what?”

  “You know, how deeply we feel about each other. I know this is pessimistic, but I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

  Avery replied calmly as if he were the warm sun shining down on me in mid June. “No. Because I’ve come too far now and I won’t ever let you go,” he said adamantly.

  I don’t know if it was the support in his warm voice, or if it was the guilt of being needy, but as I sat in my car, the floodgates unleashed and I was soon sobbing into the phone as if I were leaning on his shoulder. He soothed me with his assurance that it was going to be okay as he let me cry it out.

  When my cries finally waned, I spoke. “It’s not just that. I feel like the worst friend
in the world. I haven’t even asked Sara or Colt how their classes were going. I haven’t spent much time with either of them. I’ve been shut up in my room studying all hours of the day trying to stay afloat and it’s killing me.”

  “You’re just tired. That’s all.”

  “I don’t know if I can do this for two more years. I don’t think I want to.”

  “It’ll get easier. You have to discipline yourself and your sophomore year is the best time to do that. You’ll find what works for you. Nursing school isn’t easy. It isn’t something everyone can do. These first classes, now that you’re in the program, will weed out those who aren’t cut out to do it. That’s why it seems so tough right now. But you’ll get there. You’re smart, Aria. You’ll be all right.”

  I sniffed and wiped at my eyes. I hated feeling insecure. I hated feeling vulnerable. I’d lost all my confidence and I felt like I was drowning. Who was I turning into?

  “It isn’t easy, Aria. You have to put all your time and energy into your schoolwork when your heart is here with me. It’s a huge strain on you when you’re heart is torn between the two things that you love. Especially when they’re both important to you and they’re in two different states right now. You have to promise me you will try to keep things in perspective and study while we’re apart. I will ease your stress as soon as you’re in my arms. I will help take it all away. I’m always here for you and I will try and make it better. I want you to feel all the good that I can give you. It’s what you do for me. That’s why we are so perfect together. Our love conquers all.”

  “Jesus,” I sputtered. “That has to be the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to me.” I paused, trying to recollect myself.

  “So seriously, when can I come see Camp Paramore?” I said playfully pouting like a child.

  “Soon, Kitten. It won’t be long now,” he said buoyantly while smirking at me.

  “You’re killing me, Mr. Jameson,” I whispered. I wonder. Would I always be his little Kitten?

  *****

 

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