by Wood, Joss
Cale rubbed the spot between his eyebrows. ‘So all those extra, extra hours you spent at work were on this?’
‘Some of them.’ Maddie drew patterns in the tablecloth with her finger. ‘It’s on the eighteenth of July—a month before the actual race. Please, please, Cale, you have to be there. You’ll have to be the MC—be the official face of the project. You will be there, won’t you?’
Cale nodded. ‘I don’t think I have any commitments for that date—’
‘You don’t. I checked with your PA before I committed to the date,’ Maddie admitted. ‘You won’t let me down and fall off a cliff or plough into a rock or something?’
Cale laughed. ‘I’ll be there, Mad. Relax. After all the work you’ve put in, you can kill me if I’m not.’ He reached over and grabbed her hand. ‘Have I said thank you? At all? For all your work and effort and time?’
‘Wait until you get my bill!’ Maddie said flippantly, uncomfortable with his praise. ‘Just be there, please. I can’t manage the event and be the face of it. Besides, I absolutely loathe speaking in public!’
‘No worries.’ Cale frowned as she touched the bump on her forehead. ‘How are you feeling?’
‘A tiny headache.’ Maddie tapped her teaspoon against her coffee cup. ‘I’m going to call a taxi and head home to do some work.’
‘You can work tomorrow.’ Cale stood up, placed his arms on either side of the chair and boxed her in. ‘You are taking a day off. Come and spend the day with me.’
Cale indulged himself and ran a finger along her collarbone.
Maddie sighed. ‘I’d love to, but—’
‘Excellent.’
‘I don’t have any clothes, Cale.’
‘We’ll swing by your place so that you can change.’
‘Where are we going? What do I need?’ Maddie demanded.
‘Stop fussing.’
Maddie stared up into his amazing eyes and thought she saw worry and warmth—for her. Like the whisper of a butterfly’s kiss, his lips grazed the huge bump on her forehead.
‘Scared me, Mad.’
Cale, his eyes locked on hers, dropped his head and slanted his lips over hers. They were cool, firm and… gone. Maddie, eyes closed, touched her lips with her middle finger. It could hardly be classified as a kiss, yet she felt scorched, branded—as if he’d imprinted a set of sexual tyre-tracks on her psyche.
‘Let’s go.’
CHAPTER ELEVEN
SHE’D needed this, Maddie reluctantly admitted. Needed to step away from her crazy schedule in the city and into the fresh air. It was a relief to switch off, to let her thoughts float by as she ambled alongside Cale up the deserted West Coast beach in a vague attempt to work off the massive lunch they’d demolished. Fresh seafood, crayfish and prawns caught that morning, cooked to perfection in that shabby beach kitchen.
The seafood was the best—sorry, Jim—she’d ever eaten. Anywhere.
‘God, I’m stuffed,’ Maddie groaned. Taking deep breaths of the chilly briny wind, she wrapped her jacket around her torso and headed for the hard sand at the water’s edge.
She shrieked as the waves flicked up her calves to touch the seam of the rolled-up hem of her jeans. She hopped up and down. ‘Cold, cold, cold!’
Cale laughed at her. ‘It’s the Atlantic, brainbox, in winter. It’s going to be cold!’
‘It’s not cold. It’s freezing. I can’t feel my feet!’
‘Maybe if you actually took them out of the water it would help.’ Cale shook his head. ‘Twit.’
Maddie pulled her tongue at him and eased her way slowly up the beach towards the black-and-white chequered lighthouse about a hundred metres up the beach.
Maddie glanced at Cale, who was inspecting a piece of driftwood. His stubble glinted in the sun and his lashes lay long and thick against his skin. He tipped the log over and his muscles bunched under the sleeves of his sand-coloured sweater.
She opened her mouth to speak and abruptly closed it again, not sure what she was about to say. She’d kicked and moaned about this road trip, but she’d adored the two-hour drive to the shack restaurant outside a small fishing village on his Ducati superbike. She’d snuggled up against him, listening to the duet of the bike and the wind. Her body had relaxed and then she’d been moving in sync with him, dropping into corners, instinctively following his lead and completely trusting his mastery of the incredible machine.
He handled the motorbike like he handled her in bed: with confidence, control and supreme enjoyment.
And she’d loved every second of it. Bike and bed.
And he’d charmed her at lunch, making her laugh until she cried and making her remember why she adored his company.
Maddie looked away from Cale to the circular cast-iron lighthouse—a reminder of how treacherous the stormy Atlantic Ocean could be. ‘When I was little Red and I used to visit lighthouses. I was mad about them,’ she told him idly.
‘I remember you telling me that. That’s why I brought you up here. I thought that maybe you should have a better memory of him than the one you currently have,’ Cale added with a one-shoulder shrug.
Maddie bit her lip. Just as he’d known that she’d needed sleep and company the other night, and not sex, he knew her well enough today to bring her here to think about and to remember Red. She understood that Cale was suggesting that instead of remembering him lifeless, broken and cold on the floor of his hall, she should be remembering her small hand in his spotted one, the smell of Old Spice and those bright days when they’d visited lighthouses and talked.
Her no-strings affair partner was morphing into the most important person in her life. How would she manage this? Think about it later, Maddie told herself as she looked up at the black-and-white panels of the iron structure in front of her.
Cale pushed the door. It creaked open and darkness loomed beyond, a bit spooky inside.
‘Is the lighthouse still in operation?’ Maddie asked as their eyes adjusted to the gloomy interior. A small, grimy window deeply set into the wall provided minimal light.
‘I think the lens and fog horn are powered by solar panels and batteries. But I’m not sure,’ Cale told her as they moved around a rickety cart holding some empty cans towards the steep spiral staircase.
Maddie touched the handrail of the elaborate iron staircase and sighed as she started the climb. ‘The staircase is so beautifully crafted. Such an elaborate design.’
‘The lighthouse was erected in 1906.’ Cale’s voice hummed over her. ‘Just take it slow and watch where you place your feet. It’s dark in here.’
They climbed in silence for a long time, and Maddie’s thighs were burning when they eventually stepped into the light-keeper’s room below the lantern area. It lived up to her imagination: dusty, creaky, spooky. A defunct generator stood in the middle of the room and a solid table in the far corner. Maddie looked out of the salt-encrusted window and the view took her breath away. Miles and miles of deserted beach… a hazy cargo ship on the horizon below a bank of low grey clouds.
Cale moved next to her and thumped his fist against the thick casement window. Eventually the window budged and opened up onto a narrow balcony that encircled the tower. Only a rail separated them from a nasty plunge to the rocks below.
Cale boosted himself up onto the balcony and held out his hand for Maddie. ‘You’ve got to come out here, Mad. It’s brilliant!’
Maddie took his hand and allowed him to pull her onto the narrow ledge. Instantly vertigo slapped her, and she closed her eyes as Cale’s strong arms banded around her waist.
‘You’re safe. I won’t let you fall!’ Cale yelled above the whistling wind.
‘These railings look a bit rusty!’ Maddie shouted as she leaned into his chest.
Cale chuckled in her ear. ‘They’ve lasted over a hundred years. I think they’ll hold us for ten minutes.’
Maddie opened one eye and looked out to sea. Black-backed gulls swooped over an area about fifty metres offshore and M
addie could see some disturbance in the water. A shoal? Holding her hair off her face, she turned. In the far distance she could see some people leaving the restaurant to walk on the beach.
‘Southern right whale over there,’ Cale told her, lifting one arm to point her in the right direction. Maddie stared at the sea and was eventually rewarded with the slap of a massive tail against the water.
They watched the whale for five minutes and Maddie shivered, feeling battered by the icy breeze off the sea despite Cale’s warm body against her back. Inching her way inside, she felt her heart resume beating when her feet found the floor of the keeper’s room. Moving out of Cale’s way, so he could hop down, she shoved her hands into her wild curls and pushed them off her face. She felt exhilarated, petrified and proud as adrenalin pounded through her system.
‘That was such a rush!’ Maddie hopped from one foot to the other and Cale laughed at her exuberance. ‘Mind-blowingly scary but I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.’
Cale pushed back an errant curl and tucked it behind her ear. ‘Red would’ve been proud of you, sport.’
Maddie cocked her head. ‘You know what? I think you might be right.’
‘I’m always right,’ Cale told her huskily as his hands moved up to cradle her face. The pads of his thumbs caressed her cheekbones and he stared at her mouth. Maddie licked her lips as her hands slid under his jersey to grip his T-shirt.
Maddie flattened her hands against his hips and felt the heat of his skin through the fabric. Tipping her head, she darted her tongue out of her mouth in a silent invitation. Cale’s eyes heated, darkened with passion, and then he dipped his head to feast on her mouth. Lips nibbled and soothed, and his tongue tempted and promised. Unable to do anything but cling to him, she nipped his mouth, her tongue making tiny forays into his mouth. She felt Cale’s hand slide under her top to unhook her bra.
‘Make love with me, Mad,’ he muttered hoarsely.
Maddie looked around her. ‘Here? Now?’
‘Here, in this chilly, dusty room at the top of a lighthouse. Now, because this moment is ours to take. Let me love you, sweetheart.’
Well, when he put it like that…
Maddie put her hand into the back pocket of Cale’s jeans as they made their way back across the sand, enjoying Cale’s arm around her shoulder. It was strange that, through Cale of all people, she was rediscovering something in her that she’d thought lost a long time ago. A softer part of her nature that wanted to be loved. It scared the stuffing out of her.
For years she’d ignored attraction and emotional intimacy to focus on her career. Oh, she’d socialised and dated and led men on, but it shamed her to admit that she’d enjoyed being able to flash a smile and have men rush to her bidding to earn the possibility of dinner or—dream on—a roll in the sack. Even more, she’d enjoyed being able to walk away without a backwards glance.
It was slightly ironic that the man who had caused this turnaround in her attitude towards relationships—the thought that she might like to love and be loved—was emotionally confused himself, stuck in his own vortex of guilt and regret and fear.
The whole concept was weird and distracting. Instead of being excited about this amazing work opportunity that had dropped into her lap she was wondering how she’d cope with him not being part of her life, not being able to make love to him, laugh with him. Who would pick her up and dust her off after a bad day? Monitor her eating habits? Bully her into having fun?
Suddenly what had been so clear a few months ago was as muddy as a pond. Her career, when weighed up against not having Cale in her life, didn’t seem that important any more. An event was an event. It might be bigger and glitzier in NYC but the mechanics were the same.
Maddie kicked the sand, comprehensively annoyed with herself. She was muddling love and emotion with common sense, and allowing the idea of love and happily-ever-after—she wasn’t stupid enough to think that she had a shot at the real thing—to become a factor in making one of the biggest decisions of her life.
She was a sensible, smart woman, not an emotional weakling.
They reached the rickety deck leading to the restaurant, where they’d left their socks and boots, and sat on a weathered step. Cale sat next to her and unrolled his socks before dusting the sand off his long feet.
‘So, what’s going on in that head of yours?’
Maddie bit her lip as reality came crashing in. She flipped him a look. ‘I’m not sure what you mean.’
Cale’s eyes cooled at her evasion. ‘Don’t lie to me, Maddie. As soon as reality seeped back in you started thinking.’
‘Okay. I wasn’t lying to you; I was just trying to gather my thoughts.’ Maddie blew out her breath as she pulled her sock on. ‘I spoke to Dennis this morning.’
‘Who?’
‘My friend who works at Bower & Co. He said that he’s heard I made the shortlist.’
‘Ah.’ Cale yanked on his boot with a fierce scowl.
Maddie stared at her slightly blue toes. ‘It’s such a massive opportunity, Cale, the biggest I’m ever likely to be offered. But I’m having such fun with you.’
Cale finished pulling on his shoes, draped his forearms over his bended knees and looked out at the ocean. ‘Are you expecting me to ask you to stay?’
Maddie shook her head, thinking that he didn’t need to draw her a picture. She’d heard his silent because I won’t. ‘No.’
‘So, when do you think it might be finalised?’
‘A couple of weeks. I might have to go to New York soon for the interview, but don’t worry about the race, I’ll get that done before I leave for good.’
Maddie dropped her temple to his shoulder. ‘I have this feeling…’
‘What?’
‘I’ve been wondering what to do if they offer it to me.’ Maddie wound her arms around his neck. ‘And I think I’ll have to say yes.’
Maddie felt his warm hand come up to cradle her head. ‘Well, we both knew that this wasn’t going to last for ever, and maybe it’s better this way—to walk away friends,’ Cale said, his voice rough.
Maddie lifted her head, completely shocked. ‘You’re calling it quits? Now?’
Cale’s laugh was low and rough. ‘No, you twit! But I do suggest that we make the best use of the time we have left. Nights, mornings—as much as possible. If I only have limited time with you then I want every minute to count. Without it becoming a melodramatic farce.’
Maddie had to giggle. Only Cale could demand more from her without even a hint of soppy.
He turned so that her head was in his neck and his blond head rested against hers. His breath was warm against her temple when he spoke. ‘In case I forget to tell you, I’ve had the best fun with you, too.’
Maddie watched Cale roar away on his Ducati to attend a cousin’s twenty-first birthday party. With her mobile tucked into her pocket, she scampered down the path in front of her flat to the deserted beach. Plopping down on the sand, she leant back against a rock, reflecting on the turns her life had taken.
She only had, at most, four or five weeks left with Cale, and the thought of not having him in her life scared her witless. Oh, the idea of living in New York was wonderfully exciting, but would it mean anything if there was no one at the end of the day to share her success with?
She needed some support, some expert advice.
Kate answered on the first ring.
‘I’m on the shortlist for the job in New York, but there’s Cale, and I’m deeply attracted to him and I’m scared stupid, and I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing in carrying on seeing him,’ Maddie gabbled. ‘Or in going to the States.’
‘Maddie. Say that slowly.’
Maddie repeated herself and remained silent as Kate digested her words. It wasn’t often she managed to shut Kate up, Maddie mused.
‘I’m not sure what to say except, well—wow! Any idea what he’s thinking?’
Maddie shoved a hand in her hair and puffed. ‘Just t
hat he won’t ask me to stay. We both knew that this wouldn’t last, Katie. It was only ever supposed to be a fun, roll-in-the-sack-until-we’re-sick-of-each-other deal.’
Maddie could hear the stream of wine hitting the bottom of a glass and desperately wished she were in Kate’s flat. ‘And it’s changed for you?’
‘Yeah. My head is no longer in charge of my heart.’
‘You sure he won’t ask you to stay?’
‘Yes.’
‘And you will accept the job offer?’
‘Yes. I think I have to.’
‘Maddie, you’ve managed not to get involved with anyone for years. What is it about Cale?’
Maddie dug her bare feet into the sand and wiggled them. ‘He gets to me, Katie. He’s a thinker, a philosopher, a protector.’
‘Good grief,’ Kate muttered
Maddie stared at the sun dipping behind the horizon. ‘What do I do?’
‘Are you in love with him?’
‘No.’ Maddie checked inside herself and shook her head. No, she didn’t think so. Not yet. But on the other hand how would she know? Grief, she doubted she’d be able to recognise love even if it came wrapped up in a pretty box and hand-labelled.
‘But you’re attracted to him?’
‘Oh, yes.’
‘Do you like him?’
Maddie swore. ‘Yes. Yes, I like him. A lot.’
‘Mad, I don’t know what to tell you. All I can say is take a deep breath and live in the moment. That’s all you have right now. Stop anticipating what will happen. Enjoy it. Have some fun,’ Kate suggested. ‘It’ll work out, whatever way is meant for you. Oh, and use protection.’
‘Thanks. Not for the protection comment, because I’m not a complete idiot, but for the rest.’
‘I am a wise soul. Love you.’
‘Love you back.’
Maddie sighed, disconnecting. Shoving her mobile phone into the pocket of her shorts, she stared at the rapidly darkening sky.
If she wasn’t already—and she chose to think that she wasn’t—then she was on the verge of falling in love with Cale. If she allowed herself to fall over into love and then she had to leave it would hurt. If she stayed he would end the relationship at some point, probably when he realised that she felt more for him than he did for her.
