Fatal Response

by Jodie Bailey

  Unlike her father. Wyatt had kept Jason updated over the past few years. Nothing had changed since he left. Even this morning’s conversation had reinforced that every member of Wyatt’s family had tried to talk to her, but Erin couldn’t see what her own father was doing to her.

  “She’ll never be free of him if she can’t see the truth, Jase. You and I both know Kevin Taylor was never a good man. He was a selfish beast before my aunt Kara died, and he’s gotten worse. He uses his medical condition to keep Erin tied to him, convinced it’s her lot in life. So, yeah, nothing’s changed. If anything, it’s gotten worse. The one thing she won’t give up is the fire department, and she’s held back there because she can’t get away from him long enough to get the training she needs to move up.”

  For the hundredth time in twelve hours, Jason’s stomach threatened to revolt. He’d prayed and hoped for years that things would be different, that Erin would learn the truth of who she was and get free of her father’s lies, maybe even find someone to love her the way she deserved.

  Although the idea of her with someone else had never settled well with him and had even kept him awake more than a few nights.

  One of the reasons he’d married her had been to get her out of that house. But when her father had his stroke, Erin had refused to reveal their marriage. Had refused to move out no matter how hard Jason had tried to make her see the truth.

  Until it tore them apart. Jason had grown tired of feeling as though he was sneaking around with his own wife, of feeling as though she was ashamed to be seen with him, and had worn himself out trying to find a decent job in a tiny town. He’d joined the military and asked her to come away with him.

  The move had backfired monumentally. Divorce papers when he came out of basic proved it.

  “The problem is, you hurt a lot of people when you took off.” It was as though Erin could read his thoughts and jumped right into the internal conversation, totally uninvited.

  “I know.” This conversation had been coming for years. In the back of his mind, Jason had always known the way he left without looking back was wrong. “I don’t have any excuses you’d want to hear. And all I can do is apologize.”

  Her expression softened a bit, but there was still an unyielding hardness around the edges. She wasn’t going to let him off the hook that easily. “Wyatt’s parents took it hard. It would be great if you found a way to swing by their house and tell them.”

  Jason winced. Clearly, she didn’t want to talk about them.

  But she was also right. He owed Wyatt’s parents even more. While he’d stayed in touch with Wyatt sporadically, he hadn’t been able to face Wyatt’s parents. When Jason’s own parents had abandoned him at fifteen, the Stephens family had taken him in until he could work through the court system to gain emancipation at sixteen. Cade and Deanna Stephens had treated him like their second son and Wyatt had become more than his best friend. He’d become a brother. The Stephenses’ home had been where Jason had gotten to know Erin as more than a tagalong. It was the Stephenses’ barn where they’d first started restoring Erin’s Bronco, and where he’d first kissed her. It had been Wyatt who helped them elope, although they’d never told his parents.

  Jason had abandoned them all.

  At least they’d probably felt that way. He’d wanted nothing more than to be married to Erin, and then he was and she’d wanted to keep it a secret. For a while, he’d understood. Her father hated him, and with his stroke coming immediately after the accident, it made sense not to upset him. But as the first year passed and they entered the second, as Erin started community college and Jason tried to find a job to prove he could support her, it had all grown too huge. They’d needed money. They’d needed time together.

  “You know what?” Erin’s voice drew Jason out of his thoughts.

  He’d been quiet too long, lost in his own head again.

  When he looked over at her, she’d straightened and was turning to walk away. “It’s been a very long, very surreal, very ugly night, and all I want to do is go to bed. Stay out here, don’t stay out here, whatever. But please...” She rubbed at her temple as though a headache was lodged there. “Don’t let my dad see you. I can’t deal with that on top of everything else.” With a half-hearted wave, she turned and walked away, disappearing into the trees along the driveway before Jason could find the words to make her stay.

  FIVE

  Shutting the front door behind her, Erin dropped her duffel bag on the kitchen table and leaned heavily on the back of a ladder-back chair. She was done. Done with death and insanity and the past...and snakes.

  Nausea had rolled through her in waves for the entire drive home. So far, she’d managed to keep from losing anything left of last night’s dinner, and she wanted to keep it that way. Catching a glimpse of Jason following her as she’d pulled into her driveway hadn’t helped matters. If she were more herself and not so destroyed by the events of the night, she’d have had a lot more to say to him, things that included him never coming within a hundred feet of her again.

  As it was, she was too exhausted to fight him. And if Wyatt truly was approving this lunatic idea of Jason following her around, she’d lose the battle anyway. She was definitely too brain-dead to take them both on.

  If she could crawl into bed and pull the covers over her head for a few hours, surely things would be better when she awoke.

  They couldn’t get much worse.

  “’Bout time you got home.” From the den, the recliner slammed shut, and the hardwood floors creaked as her father lumbered to the kitchen door, moving a little slower than usual. His graying hair was rumpled as though she’d awakened him. He was wearing his trademark khakis and blue mechanic’s shirt, dressed for work.

  Although he never actually went.

  “I had a rough night.” Why bother to say anything more? He already knew there’d been some “excitement” at the station. If she told the whole story about Angie Daniels, he’d ask why Erin hadn’t been able to save her. Forget telling him she’d nearly been a rattler’s breakfast. He’d ask when she was going to “man up” and realize snakes were a part of life in the mountains. He would be right on all counts, but her brain was toast and discussion wasn’t an option.

  “You could’ve let me know you’d be running late. I’ve been texting you.” The words slurred slightly and his eyes were half-closed, as though he’d been deep asleep in front of the morning talk shows and hadn’t quite sloughed off the heaviness. “Can’t get myself breakfast now, can I?”

  Ever since they’d found out her father had type 2 diabetes, he’d needed Erin to help him survive. She had just begun to assert her independence in high school when the diagnosis came. Softball, cheer... Kevin Taylor had made his daughter surrender almost everything to take care of him. Erin had traded romance novels for cookbooks and medical studies, made sure he had healthy meals and kept his prescriptions filled and at the ready.

  None of it had mattered. In the end, Erin had nearly killed him.

  The stroke was her fault. If she hadn’t taken off with Jason, hadn’t insisted on taking the Camaro in some sort of celebratory joyride, hadn’t let herself get injured... If that night had never happened, then the stroke that robbed her father of the full strength of his left arm never would have happened. He’d still be working and she wouldn’t have to be protecting him from himself. Things would be so much different if she hadn’t screwed up. She destroyed everything she touched.

  This morning was a prime example. She should have called and asked Uncle Joe to check on him. If he didn’t eat by eight, his blood sugar would pay the price. And if he saw Jason hanging around the house?

  There was no telling how high that price would be.

  Rest wasn’t coming anytime soon. “Did you really wait for me to get home to eat, Dad? It’s after ten. You know you have to eat or your sugar—”

  “I du
g around in the pantry and found myself something to take the edge off, no thanks to you, too busy out running the roads or something to make sure I’m fed and healthy. You’ll be sorry if I wind up in the ER again.”

  The steady throbbing that had set up camp behind her right eye during her conversation with Jason pulsed harder. There were hard-boiled eggs already peeled in the refrigerator. Fruit cut and bagged in serving-sized portions. Whole wheat bagels sitting right beside the toaster. Did he think stuff just appeared?

  She counted to ten. He was right. The least she could have done was texted him to remind him she’d left snacks for him. “Well, if it happens again, there’s food in the fridge all ready for you.” Erin swiped her duffel off the table and headed for her room. Maybe she could catch a nap before she headed out to cut the grass. He’d been complaining about it for the past few days and was sure to mention it again if she hung around too long, especially since he was extra cranky this morning. This was what she deserved for coming home late. “What did you eat?”

  “Swiss cake rolls and a Pepsi.”

  “What?” She whirled on him. “Tell me you’re kidding.” While Erin was practically addicted to those things at the firehouse, she made sure never to leave them at home. It made her a hypocrite maybe, but it was her comfort food, the one thing she wouldn’t give up. Some firefighters drank away what they saw on the job. She fed her troubles sugar and caffeine, and the end result worked just as well.

  “Nope. Found them in the back of the pantry. You hiding them from me?”

  “Definitely not.” She’d never brought those into the house, but maybe, if they were in the back, they were old? Some she’d forgotten? A misstep like he implied made her incredibly careless or incredibly stupid.

  She couldn’t lecture her father, not when she’d left him the ammo to do damage to himself. Besides, there wasn’t enough reserve left in her to hold her tongue if she got started, and the last thing either of them needed was for him to lose his temper and spike his blood pressure. “Did you check your blood sugar today? Take your insulin?” Did you do anything to take care of yourself?

  “I’m not a child, Erin Joanna. Don’t talk to me like I am.” Although he’d probably intended the words to come out on a shout, they came out as more of a loud whisper.

  Erin let her bag fall to the faded yellow linoleum floor as she took a step closer to her father. “Dad?” Her practiced eye put the pieces together. Drooping eyelids. Slurred speech. And increasing difficulty breathing.

  Jerking out the kitchen chair, she shoved her father down by the shoulder and reached for her phone. “Dad.” The word almost choked her. “I think you’re having another stroke.”

  * * *

  Erin paced the small curtained space in the emergency room. When she was on the job, she hardly noticed the sharp scent of antiseptic or the stale food odor drifting through the halls of a hospital, but today... With her adrenaline crashing and her stomach empty and already twisted with anxiety, the smell was almost more than she could handle.

  The ambulance had whisked her father in and she’d followed with Jason, who’d appeared as soon as her father was loaded into the ambulance and offered to drive her. She’d been too frazzled and scared to turn him down, and she had no idea where he was now that she’d been escorted back into the ER.

  A nurse wearing gray scrubs had promised to bring news as soon as they were done running a battery of tests to determine if this was another stroke.

  A stroke she could have prevented.

  She’d known she should have called Joe. Instead, she’d left her father to worry about her and to fend for himself.

  How could she have been so careless? Let him get his hands on something that could kill him?

  This was all her fault. And if her father died, she’d have to live with her mistake for the rest of her life.

  Dropping onto a blue plastic chair, she buried her face in her hands. Maybe she should leave the fire department and take a regular nine to five somewhere so she could be home with him more. But at night he was asleep and didn’t need her. If she was gone all day and he was on his own? She didn’t even want to think about how that would work.

  And if she left the fire department and took a different job, she could lose the grant she’d counted on for the past eight years. Wyatt had helped her apply. A foundation gave her a few hundred dollars every month because she was a firefighter caring for an ailing parent. Without the boost, she’d have had to take on an extra job, forcing her to be home even less.

  But the grant was only for firefighters. If she lost the money, they could lose everything.

  The weight on her shoulders was too heavy. The burden of caring for her father, of making sure there was food in the pantry and the bills were paid... It was more than she could handle. She was exhausted, couldn’t remember the last time she’d truly slept. Could barely remember the last time she’d eaten.

  Once they figured out what was wrong with her dad and she got some good food and quality rest, then she’d be able to pick up her life and carry it again. She had to. There was no one else to take her place.

  A light tap on the wall lifted her head, and a young nurse stepped into the overly lit space. She wore navy blue pants and a scrub top covered in superheroes. Her dark hair waved tight to her head, and her deep brown eyes were heavy with compassion. “Doing okay?”

  Erin offered a weak nod. No use dumping her problems on an ER nurse who likely had more than enough stress and exhaustion of her own.

  “Listen, it’s going to be about an hour before your father is brought back in. There’s someone asking about him in the lobby if you want to go out for a bit. He’s stable right now, and we’ll have some better answers for you soon.” She lifted a slight smile. “Believe it or not, the cafeteria food here isn’t half-bad and you look like you could use some fuel. I recommend the breakfast burrito.”

  It was too much information at once. Erin had to run through it all slowly in her head to get everything straight. The ache in her gut said she needed food first, but someone was in the lobby asking about her father? Who? It couldn’t be Jason. Surely he was long gone rather than hanging around in the same building as her father. He wasn’t exactly known for hanging around.

  Her father didn’t really have any friends who’d come around either. He didn’t even go to church. His socialization was TV and occasionally hanging around at the auto body shop where he used to work.

  No way Joe or any of his employees even knew what was going on, let alone had the time to leave work to come here.

  Guess she’d better see who was asking about her dad first, then move on to food. Hopefully it wouldn’t take long. Her knees were wobbling from hunger and exhaustion.

  At the entrance, the nurse stepped aside and gave Erin directions to the waiting area, then slipped into the next room with a cheery hello.

  Erin shoved through the swinging double doors at the end of the hallway and found Jason standing a few feet away. The lines around his eyes said he was as done with this day as she was. He’d endured so much more than she had, and yet...he was here?

  Erin’s steps slowed. He shouldn’t be. Not only would her father somehow know he was hanging around, the guy simply wasn’t known for sticking around when the going got tough.

  At least he hadn’t in their marriage.

  When he spotted her, he lifted a white paper bag. “Bacon, egg and cheese sandwich? They had them in the cafeteria.”

  He remembered. When she’d been on duty at the fire station during their marriage, he would stop on his way to his early class in the morning with a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich from the small grill at the gas station on the outside of town.

  She hadn’t eaten one since he’d left.

  With the salty scent of bacon heading straight for her stomach, Erin kept her eyes on her ex-husband as she gingerly took the bag, workin
g hard not to brush his fingers. Exhaustion and shock made the whole scene feel like one of the dreams she frequently had, the ones where he’d come back for her. Every time, she woke up in almost physical pain to find that nothing had changed.

  “How’s your dad?” Jason stepped aside and held out his arm toward a small glassed-in room containing some vending machines and a couple of plastic tables, breaking the spell.

  “I don’t know.” She walked into the room ahead of him and sank into a chair, then unwrapped the sandwich but didn’t take a bite. Jason’s presence was thick in the room, tugging at her to confide in him, but there was no good way to do so without sounding needy or nostalgic.

  Jason sat across from her and shoved a hefty cup of coffee her way. She hadn’t even noticed he was holding it. “Drink it. You need the caffeine.”

  Wrapping her hands around the paper cup, Erin let the warmth seep up her arms without taking a sip. Right now, she needed to smell it. She kept one hand on the coffee and grabbed her sandwich with the other, finishing half before she set it on the table and swigged the still-warm drink.

  When she glanced at Jason over the rim of her coffee cup, he was studying her face.

  Once, when she was a teenager, Erin had stared into a mirror for so long she’d almost become a stranger to herself. Those eyes in the mirror knew her deepest thoughts, her unconfessed fears and everything about her from the inside out. It had freaked her out until she’d closed her eyes to shake the shivers away.

  That was how she felt with Jason. He had once known all of her dreams and plans and thoughts...but he hadn’t been able to understand her.

  Now this man who’d known her better than any other was a stranger. It was so hard to make her brain compute.

  It was also impossible to keep from confiding in him.

  “This is my fault, you know.” She tore her gaze from Jason to look at the snack machine, tapping her finger on the side of the coffee cup.

  “This isn’t your fault. You did everything you could to make sure he was taken care of. He made a choice—”