“I’m sorry,” he murmured, sounding tortured. “It’s just you were snuggled up with me all cute—and then—and then you said my name and—”
The bus stopped. He didn’t finish what he was saying, because right then we pulled up to the school. Laurie jumped onto the bus excitedly, telling us how proud she was of us, since our math team won.
“Thanks,” I murmured to her as she smiled all happily, handing me congratulatory cookies she’d baked herself—for Drew and me.
I quickly scurried away from the kissing couple, scrambling off the bus.
I couldn’t breathe.
Immediately I decided I’d take that nanny job for the summer in California after all. ‘Cause there was no way I would be able to be around those two now—not ever again. Not since I’d felt Drew’s lips on mine.
That kiss—holy smokes! It changed everything. Everything!
I couldn’t just be Drew’s “buddy” anymore … and I couldn’t be Laurie’s love counselor anymore either. (Which I hated being anyway—for obvious reasons.)
So off to California I flew.
CHAPTER 4
The entire summer I was so grateful to be away from Drew. I kept hoping that during my time apart from him I could get over the euphoria I felt waking to find his glorious lips on mine.
Unfortunately though that didn’t end up being the case. Not even close.
Still, I didn’t text him all summer. Thankfully (though at the same time—painfully) he didn’t text me either. Except once. It was the day after the kiss. He wrote: “You left the bus so fast. But the kiss … Brooke, I wanted to apologize for it. I mean you’re Laurie’s friend—and my friend, and I was out of line.”
Yeah.
Like I said, I didn’t write him back. All summer.
I knew he didn’t really mean anything by the kiss. But just the same, all summer I had dreamily thought about it—about waking up with his warm soft lips on mine.
It was like something out of my dreams.
In case you haven’t figured it out, I’m in love with Drew. Like I said, I’d loved him since the third grade. I would have started my idolism of him even earlier but I spent the first three years of school in rapture with Rider Hanson who asked me to “Skip to My Lou” with him my very first day of school. Even when Rider finally dumped me cold, my devotion to him sadly secretly went on. In fact, it’s possible that if Rider hadn’t moved away in the third grade I would still be secretly scribbling poems of love and heartbreak about him, and fervently saying my prayers every night that he would somehow love me again. However, Rider did move away, and my longing heart turned to Drew.
And stayed there.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had other crushes. Small ones. Sometimes. But my heart’s longing devotion to Drew never wavered … it just sometimes got sort of sidetracked for a while. A little. I was always grateful when it did. Especially when Drew became Laurie’s boyfriend two years ago. Then I tried desperately not to like Drew anymore. But, well, my heart doesn’t really listen to me. (If it did, I wouldn’t have been so in love with Rider for so long.)
My heart is kind of stupid.
And it became extremely stupid after that kiss.
So, I avoided Drew like the flippin’ plague after it.
But, you know, school has started again.
So avoiding him has become extremely difficult. For one thing, there’s the glaring fact—he’s my friend’s boyfriend.
For another, Drew is once again in a lot of my classes. So, though I kept my distance from him all week—still, his eyes stayed on me. All week.
We haven’t talked about the kiss.
Or anything else.
I basically run from him whenever I see him coming. Literally, actually.
But face it, I can’t run from his stare.
Because he’s in almost every single one of my classes.
CHAPTER 5
Laurie called me Monday night as I was trying to do my homework. She was calling about Drew (her boyfriend), of course. Because she always calls me about Drew. Ever since they got together.
I should maybe mention that besides the strange phenomenon with the male population’s eyeballs this school year, something weird also seemed to be going on with “the couple” (aka: Laurie and Drew). Something had changed between them. (Duh.) (I mean, he kissed me.) But besides that perplexing random mistake, something else was also going on with him too.
On the surface the couple seemed to be getting along better than they had at the end of last year. I mean, I didn’t see an argument break out between them the entire week, which was—wow! Well, for Laurie. (She’s a drama queen.) But there was definitely a noticeable distance between them. Although they still ate lunch together, I noticed Laurie spent a large portion of her time with us, “the group,” while Drew spent most of his time with his friends from the football team—I mean, during lunch and everything.
Drew didn’t seem to be cross with Laurie or anything, but definitely aloof—detached-like. Which was so different than he used to be with her. He used to like, worship her. It was interesting to observe. Both were, actually—the before and the drastic change. It was like night and day. Laurie (understandably) seemed to be massively hurt and bewildered by the huge change in Drew, but she never mentioned anything about it to the group, and I didn’t bring it up. Usually Laurie came whispering to me about all her problems with Drew. So, I felt relieved that she had found someone else to confide in. But then, like I said, Monday when she called “just to gab” I soon discovered she hadn’t confided in anyone else, but had been bottling all her confusion in and feeling miserable.
“Drew doesn’t love me anymore,” she whimpered out of nowhere in the middle of her phone call to me.
My eyelids squeezed shut.
“Um, what makes you say that?” I asked, putting down my pencil, though I’d been trying to erase a huge foul up that I’d made somewhere in my calculus problem.
“Because it’s true. I know it’s true,” she cried.
I buried my head in my hands.
Like I said, Laurie always called me and cried when she was having problems with Drew. I guess she figured that since I helped get them together it was my duty to help keep them together. I didn’t really mind listening and helping, not that I was ever much help. It’s just that sometimes I got kind of frustrated with her. ‘Cause face it: she was the only problem in their relationship. Drew really honestly loved her (adored her even) and did his best to please her. She was the one that would always get mad about really stupid, insanely petty things and break up with him. Then she would always call me, crying that he didn’t love her anymore.
It made me roll my eyes.
And not be too terribly sympathetic.
Well, usually.
However, tonight I quit my erasing to listen to her. Since, yeah, I had noticed a big change in their relationship in just this past week, so I knew this time her problems weren’t all in her head. (Come on, the dude kissed me!!) Obviously something was up with him. Duh, right? But, keep in mind, the kiss was just an accident. He’d probably just meant it as a joke or something … though it hadn’t felt like a joke. Not to me. (But I was in love with the guy, so keep that in mind, too.) My perspective was not, you know, super sane.
I thumped my head on my desk, wishing for the hundredth-thousandth time Laurie had someone else that she shared her Drew-woes with. But no. I was her designated Drew-discusser. Joy. (Not.)
All summer long Laurie had texted me complaining that Drew was acting “strange.” Not mean, just distant; avoiding spending any time alone with her. She said he hardly ever called her anymore, and that when she called him he seemed distracted.
“Do you think he’s seeing someone else?” I asked hesitantly. I didn’t really think he was. Not at all, really. Drew wasn’t that type of guy. I knew he wouldn’t technically cheat on his girlfriend (the kiss did NOT count) (it didn’t)—but something had definitely changed inside him this year.
That was beyond clear.
Laurie made this little sob noise. “I don’t know,” she cried. “I don’t think so … but maybe he is. I just don’t know what’s going on with him anymore.”
Then she did what I was afraid she was going to: She begged me to come over to her house to talk about Drew with her.
“Have dinner with me and my mom,” she coaxed. (Her mom loves me, by the way) (just sayin’). She quickly went on to say the part I dreaded—that afterwards we’d have a “serious discussion” about her and Drew.
I grimaced and thumped my forehead on my desk some more.
I did not want to go. I had tons of homework—which was scary for so early in the school year, and I had a chemistry test to study for.
But mostly I didn’t want to go because I was beyond nauseous to talk with her about Drew. She always turned to me for advice about him, like I knew anything at all about relationships (I didn’t). Yet she looked to me as though I was a relationship counselor. That used to be fine, before Drew kissed me. (Um, I mentioned that right?—Drew’s tantalizing kiss?) Anyway, before that awkward/heart-stopping incident, I had no problems trying to help Laurie sort out her problems with Drew.
But now I dreaded seeing them together, and more than that I dreaded the idea of having to listen to Laurie dissect their love life. I loved Drew. I really, truly, honestly loved him. I didn’t want to have to listen to his girlfriend complain about him anymore. It just really sucked that his girlfriend was one of the very few friends I had left. (My very best friend in the world, Rachel, died in a car accident at the end of sophomore year.) (Guess maybe I should mention that; just to explain why Laurie and I are closer friends than we used to be—or closer than a rational person would expect, since I don’t really like Laurie all that much.) (Only, it’s hard to make new friends when you’re grieving, and sometimes you just take what you can get and try to survive … and hope things will get better.) (But until Rachel died, Laurie and I were mostly just friends because our moms were super close.)
Anyway, after a lot of coaxing and begging from Laurie, I agreed to come over to her house on the condition that she’d let me go home early.
“Right, okay,” she promised. But her promises really don’t count for that much, as she’s mega rich and gorgeous and used to getting her way.
“I promise,” she said.
“Okay,” I sighed in defeat. “But I really mean it, Laurie—early!”
But I knew it wouldn’t happen unless her house burned down.
Nick, my brother, gave me a ride to Laurie’s house, dropping me off on his way to work. I worried that might be a problem because it meant I’d have to get a ride home from Laurie instead of having someone pick me up at a set time, and like I said, Laurie has a way of delaying a person when she wants to, and I really, really, really didn’t want to be at her house long. Or at all.
I figured if I got desperate I could just walk home, but I hoped I wouldn’t have to resort to that. Her house is within walking distance, but it’s quite a long distance. The Ashtons live in the ritzy section of our neighborhood called The Manors. Their fancy house is up on a hill that overlooks my portion of the neighborhood, which is a nice enough neighborhood, pretty much, just not as impressive as The Manors. Not by a long shot.
Laurie greeted me at the door before I knocked. She’s gorgeous. She reminds me of Alice. You know, the one from Wonder Land. She has long silky blond hair, and big blue eyes. She’s beautiful.
Laurie’s mom stood beside her in the doorway. She’s gorgeous too.
Gorgeous people, in a gorgeous house. Fitting, right? But it’s also kind of intimidating to me, even though I’ve been here tons of times. I’m talking tons.
“Brooke! Look at you!” Mrs. Ashton greeted me with a warm hug. “Laurie told me what a beauty you turned into over the summer while you were away, but I wasn’t prepared for this! You look gorgeous! Like a model!”
I smiled, loving Laurie’s mom. “Thanks.”
Um, I mentioned I went away for the summer, right? Well, I did. After Drew (mistakenly) kissed me, I knew I couldn’t stay in town all summer, ‘cause I’d just agonize, yet dream about, and re-live that glorious moment over and over all summer long in my mushy, confused, dazed brain. So, I went away. Though, of course, I still re-lived that moment in my dreams every single night. But I did it in California instead conveniently, awkwardly located near Drew—and his, you know, girlfriend.
For the entire summer I was a nanny for a rich lady that my rich aunt is friends with. The lady had cute two-year old twins, and a pool … and, as it turned out, a desperate need to “glamorize” frumpy me.
She sent me to her beauty specialists. I let her, since it was on her dime … and also, California made me feel extra frumpy. Well, until I got glamorized. Then I felt … beautiful. It was pretty cool, actually. So was all the boys’ stares when I came back to school. Sort of. Well, actually, to be honest, it was a curious cross between super cool, and freakishly weird.
Especially when the stare came from Off-Limits Drew.
His heated stare when he first saw me made a heated tingling sensation explode through me, yet I had quickly ducked into the school’s bathroom, since the last time I’d seen him had been our near-kiss. So when he finally saw me again that first day at school—after the whole, entire summer of me hiding in California from him—I found out I still wasn’t ready to see him.
However, when he first saw me that morning across the crowded school hallway, his lips had parted slightly and he’d stopped whatever he was saying to Laurie in mid-sentence, his eyes sparking like the Fourth of July as he stared at me—hungrily. But he’d been with Laurie—just exactly as I tried all summer to prepare myself for him to be—with Laurie. Kissing Laurie.
Though Laurie had told me that they broke up over and over again all summer, still the first day back to school, they were together again—just as I knew they would be. And as I’d tried to prepare myself for them to be.
However, Drew’s eyes lighting up, and his lips parting when he saw me—I hadn’t been prepared for that. At all. So, I hid in the bathroom, trying to catch my breath.
… and then I avoided him all week like the plague, though I felt his eyes on me all week like a longing man dying of hunger.
So, Monday night it majorly sucked that he showed up at Laurie’s house not long after I got there.
Eeek!
CHAPTER 6
This was how the night went: After dinner with Laurie and her mom, I was helping with the dishes when Drew came by to drop off some stuff for Laurie.
Hearing his voice, my heart exploded, and my knees went weak, and I almost dropped the dish I was holding. (Yes, I’ve got it bad!) (And okay, yes, I’m a spaz.) (Both.)
Drew didn’t know I was there—at Laurie’s house. I could hear him talking with her in the foyer while I worked in the kitchen as Mrs. Ashton had to take an important call in the other room, so I was alone and able to eavesdrop without even having to try. I listened while I dried the dishes—and tried not to drop them. Not easy when the boy I’d dreamed about all summer was in the other room—being adorable with cute little jokes about his football practice, and his little brothers and sister. (Aw!)
Laurie invited Drew in to have some dessert, but he declined quickly saying he really needed to go. But then they talked a while more, as Laurie is able to do that—make people linger, even when they have no intention of doing it.
Finally, Drew said distractedly, “Geez, your house smells really good.”
I could hear the happiness in Laurie’s voice as she informed him that it was the lingering aroma from dinner, and invited him to have a plate of the leftovers. He was swayed easy enough, as he’d just come from football practice.
He admitted with a sheepish grin in his voice, “I’m actually starving to death.”
He ventured into the house, then his eyes sparked when he saw me.
“Hi,” he said with surprise, finding me there, trying to pu
t away the Ashton’s dishes.
“Hi,” I mumbled, going up in flames for some reason (probably because he’d kissed me) (and his eyes sparked when he saw me just now) (and he’s gorgeous), so I didn’t look at him. Not just because of the flames-thing and everything else—but because he was my friend’s boyfriend.
So his hungry stare was bad. (Bad, bad, BAD!!) And so was the fact it was making my heart explode. And had me on fire.
Yes, I was a train wreck, and shouldn’t have been left with fragile dishes.
Laurie quickly got him out everything we had just put away from dinner, and warmed him a generous plate of food. Drew sat on the counter while it heated. Laurie came and stood between his spread legs. They talked softly, kissing lightly every now and then. I could feel him peek at me though, the whole time.
I tried desperately to ignore it. But um …??
Instead, I desperately tried attempting to find places to put the Ashton’s dishes, no longer caring if I found the right place or not.
Needless to say, I felt beyond uncomfortable. Would rather poke out my eyeballs than be here with the two of them.
Though I’d spent the last two years in their company on a regular basis, now it was beyond awkward for me. It was that dreamy kiss on the bus. It turned everything around in my head. Now whenever I saw them kiss I wanted it to be me he was kissing. I’d had a tiny sample of what it would feel like, and now I yearned for the whole thing.
Drew’s lingering eyes seemed to tell me that he wanted that as well—that he was desperately yearning to kiss me too.
That was the new part, actually—since I’d always longed for his kiss. Always. The thing was, now he seemed to desperately long to do it—kiss me passionately. His hungry eyes clearly told me that. (Well, maybe.)
So this was royally messed up.
“I should get going, Laurie,” I squeaked out when I finally had every single dish put in a spot, no matter how unlikely the spot seemed to be.
Heartbreaker Hanson Page 2
