“Okay,” she murmured hypnotically, probably hoping that I’d go and leave them alone anyway—since now she was getting exactly what she had been going to complain to me about not getting: Drew’s attention.
She happily went on, “We can have our talk tomorrow.”
Joy.
(Not.)
I reminded her awkwardly, “But I need a ride.”
Unfortunately, it was completely dark out now—and raining. Like, torrentially.
Drew offered quickly, “I’ll give you a ride.”
My breath drew in sharply.
This is not exactly what I was hoping for. At all. Obviously.
Nervously, I looked at him and he looked at me. Neither of us stirred. He stared into my eyes, making my heart explode and my knees go weak. Groan. (This was bad.) (So bad.)
Laurie did a pouty face. “At least eat first,” she said to Drew sulkily.
Drew’s jaw muscles flickering, he gave me a searching look. “Have a minute to spare?”
The silence was heavy—at least in my mind. And soul.
“Sure,” I mumbled finally. I mean, what else could I say?
Laurie and I sat at the table with him while he ate. He was used to girl’s attention, so this wasn’t weird to him. Well, I guess. But I was wanting to bash my head through a window. And just make a run for it. Who cares about a little rain?—and the possibility of being attacked? Anything was more bearable than this: Laurie being all affectionate with him while I looked on like a third-wheel. It had me all squirmy.
Yet Drew just ate—like a football player that missed his dinner. (What I mean is—normal.) But me? I was itching to pull a fire alarm. Or pull out my hair. Both, actually.
After a while of talking sweetly with him, Laurie tried to kiss Drew, but he peeked up at me instead. “Hey Brooke, you missed Spanish class—both yesterday and today.”
He said it with a questioning look, yet it made it clear: he noticed I wasn’t in class.
“Need to borrow my notes?” he offered. “We have a quiz in the class tomorrow.”
I rubbed my forehead. I’d been missing Spanish class due to band practice. We had an important concert coming up, but unfortunately that didn’t mean I could get out of taking the quiz—sadly.
I bit my lip. Oh no. I forgot my plan to ask Ally for her notes, I realized. Now it was getting too late.
My eyelids closed. “I was going to beg Ally to let me borrow her notes.”
Drew grinned looking puzzled. “You don’t have to beg me to borrow mine.”
Right. Since he’d just offered. My eyelids squeezed tighter. Unfortunately, like I said, it was getting way too late to bug poor Ally. I knew getting them from Drew made way more sense, especially since we used to always study together last year. But things had changed a lot since then. Duh. So, now I squirmed uneasily at the thought—though it was just borrowing his notes. Also, face it, it would look (and be) weird if I turned down his offer.
“Sure,” I said stiffly. “I’d appreciate borrowing them—thanks.”
He nodded, like no problem. But then he added, “My writing is pretty hard to decipher though—as you know.”
“I think I can manage,” I mumbled. “I mean, if you’re sure I can borrow them.”
“Of course you can.” He gave me a curious look. Then he said with a playful gleam in his eyes, “I would have been offended if you took them from Ally instead of me.” He grinned teasingly, “—I’ll never make you beg.”
Then he added, “Plus, we’re study partners … right?”
Well, we were.
But that was before he kissed me.
CHAPTER 7
Drew stopped the car in front of his house. “Are you coming in?”
“No,” I answered. “I’ll wait here.”
“Come in.” He opened the car door for me. “Delia will be excited to see you.”
Delia was Drew’s youngest little sister. I used to baby-sit her and Drew’s two brothers, David and Danny when they were younger, but now I think his mom had David do the babysitting. He was old enough to handle the responsibility now, and yet young enough that she could make him stay home at night and do it—and not pay him.
There were eight children in Drew’s family (eight!!), and they all started with the letter “D.” He was the fifth child, and the oldest still living at home.
“I haven’t seen little Delia in over a year,” I mused as I reluctantly (and all sorts of hesitantly) got out of Drew’s car. “I bet she doesn’t even remember me.”
“Yeah she does,” Drew said. “She’s always begging me to have you come over and play with her.”
“No she doesn’t.” I breathed out an incredulous laugh. “I really doubt she remembers me.”
“No, she does. She really does. She always talks about how the two of you would play pirates.”
“Its true. We did,” I smiled with delight. I’d really enjoyed babysitting his brothers and sweet little sister. They were always fun.
“Look who’s here,” Drew called out when we came into his house.
The family was all in the den watching television with big bowls of popcorn in their laps.
“Why, Brooke how lovely it is to see you,” Mrs. Roberts greeted me enthusiastically as she got up from her seat and came over to where Drew and I stood in the doorway. “It’s been a long time! What a beautiful young lady you’ve grown to be,” she announced as she took my hands to gaze at me.
“Thank you,” I blushed.
“Did I not always tell you, Drew, that behind those thick glasses and baggy clothes was a beautiful girl?” Mrs. Roberts asked her son with a pleased smile.
“Yeah, ma, you were always saying that,” Drew agreed grinning at me huge, since his mom had me blushing.
“Well,” her eyes twinkled, “—was I right?”
Drew looked into my eyes and smiled. “Yeah, ma, you were right.”
“Of course I was right,” she said with delight. “Your mother is always right—you should listen to her more often.”
“I will ma,” he promised and then asked where Delia was.
“She went to a musical play with one of her little friends and their family. She’ll be sorry she missed you, Brooke. She’s always wanting to have you over to play pirates with her.”
“She must be all grown up now,” I said wistfully.
“Oh she is,” Mrs. Roberts smiled. “She is such a little lady. She carries a little white purse to school with her everyday.”
“Oh well,” Drew said cutting short our small talk. “She’s not here, too bad. Well, we’ll see you ma.”
“Oh, don’t rush the girl,” Mrs. Roberts instructed her son. “Girls don’t like to be rushed. How is your brother, Brooke? He doesn’t come around much anymore.”
“He’s started a new band,” I informed her. “It keeps him really busy.”
“So he still plays the guitar? That’s so good. Tell him to stop by and see us. We miss him around here.”
“Okay,” I promised as Drew took my arm and dragged me away from his mom.
We went up to his room and while he searched through his notebooks for his Spanish notes I studied his bedroom with interest, as it had changed quite a bit.
It had been almost a year since I’d been here. Back then he had to share his room with his older brother. Drew’s half of the room had been devoted entirely to Laurie. His walls had literally been plastered with pictures of her.
“You’ve redecorated,” I murmured curiously as I gazed around the room, amazed to discover not a single picture of Laurie remained on his walls. Not one. Instead there were various sports awards and academic certificates, as well as many newspaper articles relating to him that he had clipped and posted here and there.
“Yeah,” he agreed, looking up from the notebook he was searching through to gaze absently about the room. He grinned sardonically, “I’ve kind of made it a shrine to myself.”
“It used to be a shrine to Laurie,” I
observed.
“Yeah,” he agreed, gazing at me closely. “It did … but that was a long time ago.”
“Has she seen the renovation?” I asked curiously, my heart pounding hard from his stare.
“No.” His eyes were still on me. “I don’t have Laurie over much anymore. I haven’t had her over in a long time.”
“That’s weird,” I murmured, though I hadn’t meant to say the thought aloud.
“Yeah?” he asked, looking at me closely again.
I quickly glanced away, feeling awkward being studied and watched so attentively—by him.
His eyes lingered on me a moment longer, then he ran a hand over his face and went back to searching for his notes.
Meanwhile, I curiously browsed around his room some more, reading the articles on his walls.
I guess I got fairly engrossed in what I was reading. Apparently. ‘Cause I was startled when I glanced his way to discover him watching me. The way his hungry eyes were on me, it was as though he had been watching me for a long time. My insides did a funny loop to find him looking at me that way.
He cleared his throat. “I found my notes,” he said.
“Great,” I choked out, not even sure what I was saying.
I felt definitely strange.
Quivery and dizzy.
And hot.
“They’re really hard to read,” he said, looking over them again before he handed them to me. “Good luck.”
“Thanks a lot,” I smiled way too widely to be natural. (Calm. Down!!)
I gushed out quickly/spastically, “Well, I guess we should get going.”
He gave me this look, one I couldn’t read, his jaw muscles flickering.
His eyes still on me, he said softly, so hesitantly, “I thought maybe we could study for the chemistry test together—like we used to.”
I gulped, knowing that wasn’t a good idea. At all.
Jerkily, I shook my head. “I—I haven’t finished reading the chapter yet. I’m not ready for the studying part.”
“That’s okay, you can read it while I finish my history paper,” he suggested.
A strange panic rose inside me. I felt trapped. And dizzy.
I wanted to get away as fast as I could. I’m sure quite a bit of my spaz came from the simple act of discovering him gazing at me when I hadn’t known that he was. I loved the guy, so that incident had my heart pounding wild, but on top of that there was the fact that he wanted to study here—in his room. We had studied thousands of times together last year, but never in his room—not even at his house. We usually studied in Laurie’s den or at my kitchen table.
We had never studied in a private place before, and thinking of doing it now, tonight, had me rattled, to say the least. Not that I thought he was going to attack me—of course. I could only wish he would attack me. Well, you know what I mean—if there wasn’t Laurie to consider. But there was Laurie to consider. So, even though he seemed to have put last year’s kiss on the bus out of his mind—locked it away as a far-out blunder—I couldn’t lock it away. It was right up there in my mind, swimming around making me breathless and dizzy, right along with his heated stare that I had always craved, but never ever dreamed I’d get.
With all my heart I wanted to get away from him as fast as I could, to the safety of my own room, where I could think about his gaze, and fantasize about its implications (and not worry/dwell on the fact that it was totally disloyal to my friend—and made me an extremely bad person).
Also, I wanted to fantasize about kissing him.
… but of course it couldn’t happen for real. It couldn’t.
… yet if I stayed, it seemed it might.
He seemed to be over Laurie. I’d waited two long years for that. But now that it was finally here, I knew it was hopeless. Laurie was my friend. Even if they broke up—I mean, broke up for real this time (which never seemed to be the case—but even if it was) Laurie was my friend. Which meant I could never have Drew.
Even if his eyes told me that’s what he wanted—wanted me. (!!!)
I gulped. “I don’t have my book,” I said, practically clawing behind me at the door.
“You can use mine,” he offered, showing his book to me.
He eyed me curiously as he did it, looking at me as though I’d gone bananas or something. Possibly because we had studied so often together—yet now I was being a spaz.
He tilted his head. “Does it bother you that we’re in my room? We don’t have to study here if you don’t want to.”
Maybe I’d imagined his “heated” stare? Maybe it was just a normal, everyday glance and I was just a pathetic delusional dork due to his kiss. His kiss that he apologized for, and had only happened in the first place because I murmured his name in my sleep, so he knew I was dreaming about him. He probably thought the kiss would be funny. Had intended it to be a joke or something—but I took it wrong.
And now I’m a spaz.
I drew out a breath. “No, its okay,” I said, grabbing the chemistry book he offered me and quickly taking a seat at his messy desk.
“It’s kind of a mess,” he said. “We don’t have to study in here.”
“No,” I said, acting like I was already engrossed in the book, though I just opened it. “It’s great, don’t worry about it.”
He looked at me a moment, and then grinned, “You’re really weird.”
“Thanks a lot,” I laughed, relaxing a little.
“You can’t sit there though. I need to use the computer,” he said, meaning that he would need to use his desk, which I was sitting at (awkwardly). “You can just throw all that stuff off the bed.”
Oh-kay.
I sat on his bed with my back against the wall, kind of enjoying this position—way too much. I could peek up from my book and study him as often as I wanted without fear of being detected, because he would have to turn his head to catch me in the act. (Score!)
So, needless to say, it was hard to concentrate on the book. Instead, I found myself wondering what it would feel like to be wrapped in his big delicious strong arms. (Quiver.)
I squeezed my eyes shut, then forced myself to focus my thoughts on chemistry. We had a test the next day, and I wanted to do well on it. Over the summer I decided I’d like to be a pediatrician and that meant I’d need a lot of chemistry, and all the other sciences as well.
As always, it was extremely helpful to read my schoolwork with Drew around. Whenever I came to something I didn’t understand I just called him over and he’d stop what he was doing and patiently explain it to me. He was extremely patient, and explained things thoroughly well, but I’d already known that from the year before when we’d gotten together so often to work on our homework.
He finished his paper about the same time that I finished the chapter.
“Munchies,” he said. “I’ll be right back. Don’t move.”
He went downstairs to get necessities—chips and soda. Then gasp! To my sheer unease—we sat on his bed studying.
He would quiz me, and then I would quiz him. We both had it down fairly solid, so for the most part we just talked. I told him that I’d decided that I wanted to be a pediatrician, and he was amazed, telling me that he wanted to be a doctor too. I informed him that I already knew that. That surprised him. But I don’t know why. It was common knowledge that Drew wanted to be a doctor.
“Maybe we’ll go to the same med school,” he mused.
My heart pounded. “Maybe.”
“I’d like to go to the same school as you,” he murmured.
His words sent a thrill through my entire body. Maybe it was more the way he said it than the actual words he spoke. I mean, I have to admit “I’d like to go to the same med school as you” is not the most romantic thing that has ever been said. The way he said it though seemed to imply much more than what he had actually said. I peeked up at him to find him staring at me again.
“Brooke … I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately.”
He said th
ose beautiful words so soft and husky that heat ripped through me. It also helped that his eyes seemed to be flickering flames of passion as they gazed into mine. Holy smokes!! I was on fire.
His face drew closer to me. Heat sizzled through my body. Was he going to kiss me???
Before he could own me any further with his hungry eyes and words Delia came bouncing into the room. (Thank goodness!)
Snapping out of my trance, I shot up from the bed as fast as lightning. Suddenly consumed with guilt—since I’d been yearning for Drew’s kiss—and it had seemed he was going to give it to me. Big time.
Waves of guilt washed through me as I leapt from his bed, though Drew groaned and winced like my move—or the interruption—caused him immense heartache. He ducked his head and made a little grunt noise, his eyes staying on me as his little sister ran to me, then he collapsed back, as though in defeat. He even made a tiny tortured noise, though he was just playing, and it was funny.
“Brooke!” Delia squealed in delight, flinging her arms around my neck.
“Hey Delia!” I laughed, returning her tight hug. “I missed you, little runt.”
Delia tugged on my hand excitedly. “Come see my new tea-set! I got it last week for my birthday!”
“No Delia,” Mrs. Roberts said at the bedroom door. “It’s very late. You tell Brooke good night. You have school in the morning.”
“Good-night Brooke,” Delia said reluctantly. “Will you come over and play with me tomorrow?”
“Maybe.”
I didn’t make any promises, because—No.
No way. I could never come here again. Not ever. My heart couldn’t take it. It turned to putty just being near Drew—but having him gaze at me like he does now? No way. My heart is wayyy too much of a goner to handle it.
Once Delia left, I found Drew still gazing at me intently as he lay on the bed.
He sat up. Then rubbed the back of his neck. “You coming back?”
I shook my head. I felt uncomfortable and shy and beyond guilty. Before the interruption I’d been under a magical spell, nothing but joyful at his miraculous revelation that he had been thinking about me. And I’d been breathless and enraptured to hear anything else he had to reveal. But the spell had (thankfully) been broken by Delia’s innocent intrusion, and now I felt out of sorts and beyond guilty that I had been so thrilled by his words and hungry stare.
Heartbreaker Hanson Page 3
