Heartbreaker Hanson

by Melanie Marks

  “I should be going,” I choked out.

  “No,” he said, groaning in dismay. “Stay a second, Brooke. Please. I want to talk to you.”

  “Please don’t,” I begged. “I need to go home.”

  He winced.

  Slowly he tilted his head. “Because of what I said?”

  He asked it as though he was trying to understand the sudden change in my behavior, since a moment ago I had been sitting with him, calmly carrying on a conversation like a normal human being, yet now I was an agitated lunatic, clawing at the door.

  “Well, yeah … I guess. Please, can we go?” I implored with my back to the door, but my hand sweating on the knob.

  “Brooke, I didn’t mean to scare you, or make you uncomfortable.”

  “I know that,” I said honestly. “Can we PLEASE go?”

  He squeezed his eyes shut, then exhaled with resign. “Okay.”

  He gave me another tiny glance, then with another sigh, he grabbed his car keys.

  I had his bedroom door yanked open and was out it in record speed.

  The house was dark and quiet. Everyone had gone to bed. We walked out to his car in awkward silence and he gently opened the car door for me, his hungry eyes intently on me, but not saying a word.

  When we got to my house I was ready to spring out of his car, but he gently reminded me to take his Spanish notes. He silently handed them across the seat to me.

  “Thanks,” I whispered.

  “You haven’t actually looked at me since our kiss on the bus—well, almost kiss.”

  My face flushed. “Right.”

  He tilted his head. “We’re going to have to talk about it sometime, Brooke.”

  “No, actually we don’t have to talk about it—ever.”

  I quickly shut the car door, then ran to my house without looking back.

  CHAPTER 8

  I should have mentioned Laurie to him. I should have flat-out called him out on it—he has a girlfriend, so he had no right to be looking at me like that.

  Of course all that seemed obvious to me—now. Now that I was away from hot dreamy Drew. Away from his intoxicating scent and stare. But at the time, when I was with him, having him gaze at me the way he kept doing, I could barely breathe, let alone think straight.

  But now it seemed obvious—I should have called him out. Laurie’s my friend … and his girlfriend. There was no need for us to have discussions about “thinking” about each other. We just shouldn’t be doing it.

  I rolled over in my bed, wishing so bad I could get his stare out of my head, and the way he had looked and sounded when he told me, “I’ve been thinking a lot about you Brooke.”

  When I finally slept, I dreamed about being on the bus with him, how it felt to wake-up kissing him. The dream was steamy, steamy, STEAMY—and sure didn’t help me get over him.

  Sadly, quite the opposite.

  CHAPTER 9

  The rest of the week was really hard for me. The year before I loved to be around Drew as much as possible. We laughed, and talked and had fun. But these days I felt really uncomfortable around him—especially since Laurie was always with him, or tried to be with him anyway, but he usually found excuses to avoid her. Meanwhile, I tried to find excuses to avoid him.

  It was awkward!

  I didn’t actually directly talk to Drew after that night at his house, but I’d often catch his eyes on me—even when Laurie was gabbing away to him, trying her sultry best to keep his attention.

  Then Thursday (Band-boy) Ethan invited me to go out to lunch with him. My heart jolted a little, since normally we ate in the band room with some of our fellow band-mates. It had been comfortable, an easy way to avoid the cafeteria where I’d be forced to eat with Laurie and Drew and our usual band of friends—cheerleaders and football players—Laurie’s friends. Not really mine. But I’d grown accustom to being with them since Rachel died.

  “Um, I have to stick around school to make up a test,” I told Ethan quickly. It wasn’t exactly a lie. Not exactly. Though I’d been planning to make up the test after school, not during lunch. But you never know … maybe I’d take it during lunch instead.

  The thing was, I’d feel awkward being with Ethan alone. I just would. But I didn’t know how to explain it to him, and I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, especially because he’d been being so nice to me and I sort of depended on him as a hang-out friend at school. But I kind of got the feeling he wouldn’t want to hear that.

  “Okay, some other time,” Ethan said questioningly.

  “Right. Definitely.”

  Well, maybe.

  Then I hurried away from him. I scurried to the cafeteria, having no clue what I was actually doing—I mean, about Ethan. I decided I’d give him my cookie from lunch. He liked the school’s cookies, and I liked being his friend, so yeah, I’d give him the cookie. And I’d help him with his math—the boy needed help. I decided I’d be extra nice to him—since I didn’t want to date him. Well, I didn’t think I did.

  While I sat eating in the cafeteria, pondering this stuff that I didn’t used to have to ponder, I heard Laurie ask Drew pouty-like, “You seem distracted. What are you thinking about?”

  Drew’s eyes cut to me really quick. When I dared peek at him he raised his eyebrows at me pointedly. My heart leapt to my throat. He looked away really quick. “I don’t know, I guess I am distracted. I need to go, Laurie—the coach wanted me to do extra laps. Thanks for the cookies—and sweet note.”

  She went to kiss him seductively on the lips, but he kind of dodged it and gave her a quick, awkward kiss on the forehead. “See ya later.”

  Then he hurried out of the cafeteria.

  “See?” she moaned confidential-like to me, close to tears. “He’s changed.”

  My mouth felt like it was full of sawdust. I didn’t know what to say. She seemed so hurt, and this year she was actually trying hard to be the perfect girlfriend—not that she didn’t always bake Drew treats and write him notes and stuff like that, she always did—but she used to get mad at everything he did, and was unreasonable, and broke up with him all the time and I didn’t ever get why he put up with her. But now—now it was the other way around. It didn’t seem she could please him. It was like he was over her, and even though he was still “sticking it out” with her or whatever, his heart wasn’t in it anymore. But still, she was desperately clinging to him. Only it seemed too late. His heart had gotten over her.

  “Drew’s been like that since the end of last year,” Laurie confided in me once everyone else around us was gone.

  I knew she had been embarrassed about the kiss-thing. How he’d kind of blew her off, and dodged her attempt to have some good-bye lip action. But of course she had acted like she hadn’t noticed—when everyone else was around. I was the only one she confided in. I used to feel slightly honored. Now I felt horrible. And guilty. And sorry for her. Which was beyond weird—feeling sorry for Laurie. I mean, the girl had it all—she was gorgeous, rich and popular. Plus she had Drew … well she used to have Drew. He used to be crazy for her. However, sadly for her, that seemed to be over now. I mean, well, he was kissing girls on buses … and staring at them longingly … and avoiding her kiss like she had cooties. Man, that had to hurt.

  I bit my lip, then tried to be supportive. “Well, maybe he just has a lot on his mind. I mean, with football and wanting to be a doctor—”

  Tears formed in Laurie’s and she interrupted my lame attempt to make her feel better. “He wants to break up with me—I know he does.”

  I bit my lip again, not knowing what to say, since yeah, it seemed like he did want to, kind of bad.

  Finally I shrugged, “Well if he did—I mean, if he wanted to—why wouldn’t he just do it?”

  Though I knew why. It’s hard to break up with someone that you used to love with all your heart—and who’s clinging to you, and baking you treats, and kissing you seductively—and trying desperately to keep you.

  “He did break up with
me!” she sobbed. “All summer.”

  My heart fell. “… oh.”

  It used to be her—she was the one that would always break-up. Hearing that it was him doing it this summer—whoa. It was kind of shocking.

  I swallowed. “Well, you’re together now.”

  She wiped away another tear. “But he doesn’t want to be—obviously.”

  The bell rang.

  Talk about saved by the bell!

  “Laurie, you’re beautiful,” I told her gently. “You have lots of guys drooling after you. Drew isn’t the only guy out there.”

  “He is to me,” she sobbed.

  Okay, I got that. What she was saying. Obviously. I mean, you know, since that’s the way I felt about him too, so of course I got it. But for her it was even stronger, since he had been hers for so long now.

  But I knew Laurie, so I knew how she really felt about the situation, deep down. Drew was our school’s football star and class president. She was used to that—dating the school’s star. No other guy could compete with Drew that way, not even close. He was campus royalty. Any other guy would be a step down.

  Laurie couldn’t bear that—dating someone “normal.”

  She needed to be queen.

  That was something that bugged me about her. Big time, actually. Yet right now all I could do was feel sorry for her. She loved Drew. Her feelings and reasons for loving him might be shallow—but still, she loved him, dearly, and she was hurting.

  … and he sucked for kissing another girl!

  CHAPTER 10

  Friday morning I had to be to school early. Somehow the band got elected to set up for the sports banquet being held that night. Ethan Philips and I worked on setting up the folding chairs together.

  Drew was there, doing something. I’m not sure what. He was up on the stage talking with his coach, both of them using a lot of hand gestures. I think probably they were doing a run down of the night’s events, but I don’t really know. All I know for sure is that Drew was up on the stage, and he kept staring down at Ethan and me while we worked. He stared a lot. Like, the whole time.

  He even squinted his eyes, sometimes, like he was jealous or disapproving of Ethan getting so close to me. But other times he looked, well, hungry. For me. So, of course I was dizzy and breathless and brain-dead and unable to really focus on a word Ethan was saying—well, until he said:

  “I was wondering if maybe you’d like to do something together tonight—just me and you.”

  I froze. And blinked.

  Thank goodness the bell rang just then because it gave me a moment to clear my brain from Drew’s stare and focus on Ethan’s alarming words.

  “Um, I can’t,” I answered.

  It was the truth, not a lie, so that was good. But I wouldn’t have gone anyway … well, I don’t think I would have. I mean, I couldn’t even focus on a word the guy said. Of course that had to do with Drew’s dreamy eyes on me, but whatever. I couldn’t go anyway, because of this, what I quickly told him—“I have to babysit tonight.”

  Then I told him over my shoulder as I quickly scurried away from him, “Sorry! See ya at lunch—in the band room—with everyone.”

  As I zipped/escaped out of the banquet room, my heart pounded wild (though mostly still from Drew’s stare—but also Ethan’s unexpected suggestion). I wondered uncomfortably if Ethan was going to start doing that a lot now—asking me out. All last week I had wondered how I’d feel about it if he did. To tell you the truth, I was a little shocked to discover I hoped he wouldn’t do it again. Ever. But hey, I was also shocked by Drew’s attentive stare.

  I’m easily shocked, apparently.

  Then again, Ethan hadn’t noticed me all last year, and Drew had a girlfriend.

  So, actually those events were pretty shocking … right?

  And neither one of them were good.

  Well, not to me.

  CHAPTER 11

  After babysitting I came home to an empty house. Mom had gone with my dad on a business trip. She started doing that as soon as Nick and I turned sixteen—off she went with Dad on his never ending work trips. They were like vacations—only it was Dad’s work. It was all fine, really, I guess—except Nick had started a new band, and some of the guys in it were … questionable.

  I liked the guys in his old band way better. And really, I’d liked it when he and Drew were best friends. But, sadly, I didn’t get to dictate my brother’s life. I just wished my parents would do it more. Or at all. Though really I just wanted Nick to stay away from his creepy drummer—Kenny.

  Anyway, I got home from babysitting kind of early. Barely after ten. Still, even so, I was glad I didn’t go out with Ethan. Shrugs. Though what I did do was kind of pathetic for a Friday night … I guess. But I didn’t mind. What did I do? I read a book. (Shocking, right?) Actually, I was itching to finish it, and I was tired—and well, since Rachel died, I’ve been kind of a hermit. So, I changed into my pajamas and got settled comfortably in bed to finish the last couple chapters of my delicious book.

  I heard Nick and his friends come home around eleven, but then I heard them leave again soon after. I didn’t go downstairs to talk to them. I was bawling as I finished my book. It was a tragic love story, my third time to read it. Every time I cried.

  Good book!

  I pulled myself out of bed and went downstairs to get something to eat still sniffling mournfully about the book. As I was in the fridge shooting whipped cream into my mouth straight from the can, I heard a noise.

  Yikes!

  Someone was in the house!

  A chill running down my spine, I snapped around, my heart pounding wild. I yelped, terrified to find a figure standing in the dark kitchen doorway.

  “Ahh!” I screamed, so startled I almost dropped the can of whipped cream.

  Then I groaned, “You scared me!”

  “Sorry,” Drew smiled with amusement. “I should have said something, I guess.”

  “I almost had a heart attack,” I grumbled as I put the whipped cream back in the fridge and wiped my mouth off on the collar of my tee shirt, trying to get a grip, and … breathe. Both from terror, and shock. I mean, DREW—in my kitchen. What the—??

  Drew eyed me closely and his brow lowered. He seemed instantly concerned, obviously noticing my leftover sniffling, and red nose.

  His amused smile immediately turned into a worried frown. “Have you been crying?”

  “I was reading a book,” I explained, cursing myself for getting ready for bed so early on a Friday night. I was dressed kind of like a dork—what I always wore to bed, an over-sized tee-shirt and a pair of comfy pajama shorts. But they were short. (Drew’s eyes noticed. They kept peeking down at my bare legs, though I could tell he was trying his hardest to keep his gaze strictly on my face—but he wasn’t succeeding. In fact, he was failing big time.) It made my face burn—well that, and the fact I’d been crying over a book. “It was kind of sad,” I explained weakly.

  I quickly changed the subject. “What are you doing here?”

  “I’m spending the night,” he answered, smiling slightly.

  Heat sizzled through me and my heart completely spazzed out.

  It had been a long time since Drew had spent the night at our house. Drew and Nick were still friends, sure, but not nearly as close as they used to be. They didn’t hang around with the same circle of friends anymore. Drew hung around with his football teammates whenever he wasn’t with Laurie, which wasn’t often on a Friday night. Nick hung around the members of his band, and whatever girl he happened to be interested in that week.

  “It’s been a long time since you spent the night,” I murmured.

  “Yeah, it has,” Drew agreed. He raised his eyebrows, “I think maybe I’ll start doing it again more often,” he said around an adorable teasing grin.

  I could feel my face blush to the color of a beet, since he was obviously pleased and referring to catching me in my absurdly short dorky pajamas. Groan.

  “Where’s
Nick?” I abruptly asked, suddenly acutely aware we were completely alone, which meant completely devoid that key-player. “I thought I heard him go out again.”

  Slowly Drew nodded, his eyes on mine. His gaze staying off my legs with great effort—it seemed. “He went over to Ken’s for a while.”

  “Kenny Hacket’s?” I asked with an anxious groan.

  That guy was nothing but trouble and I hated that Nick had taken him up as a friend. He was the new drummer for Nick’s band, and I guess he was good, at least that’s what I had been hearing, but I really did not like the guy at all. He gave me the creeps. He had just recently come out of a drug rehabilitation center. But Nick said Kenny was clean now and that he deserved a chance to prove himself just like everyone else. I would have been more eager to give Kenny a chance if he didn’t stare at me so much. I hated the way he looked at me, and whenever he came over to the house that was all he would do: look at me. He never said a word, at least not in my presence.

  Nick told me Kenny had a “thing” for me. When I heard that, a chill went through me and I told Nick to keep Kenny and his thing far away from me. He obliged, no problem, saying Kenny was a little weird.

  Drew watched me now as I cringed about Kenny.

  He nodded with a lowered brow, “Yeah, Nick is at Kenny Hacket’s. When’d he start hanging around that guy?”

  I shrugged distractedly, as I had a different question swimming around in my brain, since his eyes kept lingering on me, making it hard for me to concentrate on the conversation. “Why didn’t you go with Nick?”

  Face it, it was weird that Drew was spending the night in the first place, since it had been so long since he’d done that, but it was even weirder that he would stick around while Nick went somewhere else, right?