Heartbreaker Hanson

by Melanie Marks

  I pulled the covers over my head and groaned.

  What a hopeless situation! I had loved Drew for so long that it had just become a natural part of my life. It was like breathing. Something I didn’t question, or dwell on, it was just something I did. I really never felt all that guilty—being in love with my friend’s boyfriend. I had loved him first, and really, deep down, I felt I loved him best. Laurie had never even noticed Drew’s existence until he became the hero of the school football team. Then all the sudden everyone noticed him. All the girls suddenly loved him. Everyone’s feelings changed towards him. But not mine. I didn’t love him any more because of his new recognition. In fact, if it was possible to love him any more than I already did, it was because earning everyone’s love and admiration hadn’t changed him. He was still the good-natured, down-to-earth guy he had always been.

  Secretly loving Drew while he was dating Laurie had given me huge twinges of guilt—of course. But suddenly having Drew’s feelings reciprocated was quite another story. Suddenly I had to face my feelings. Face reality. Face the fact I couldn’t take my friend’s boyfriend away from her. No way. That wasn’t me. That was evil.

  It didn’t help knowing that if the roles were reversed Laurie probably wouldn’t have major qualms about snatching up my boyfriend. After all, she’d snatched away plenty of her friend’s boyfriends in the past. That was a cold hard fact to face, but it was a sad truth. That knowledge didn’t really help me though, because face it, it didn’t matter what Laurie would do. I was nothing like Laurie…. Though at the moment I couldn’t feel too morally superior to her. In fact, at the moment I didn’t even seem to have that up on her whatsoever. I wanted Drew so badly that I ached, and felt I would practically give my soul to be with him.

  So, of course I felt all kinds of guilty. Thinking about poor Laurie innocently sleeping at her cousin’s house oblivious to the betrayal of her boyfriend and friend.

  Laurie wasn’t the best friend that a person could ask for. Far from it. She was shallow and self-centered and insensitive. But still, she was my friend. She just was. There were times she had really been there for me—like when Rachel died. She hadn’t left me to wallow in my despair, like a lot of my “friends” did. She forced me to leave my house and do things. She dragged me to parties—she was my friend. And how was I going to repay her for her kindness? By stealing her boyfriend? Yeah, real nice. I knew I couldn’t do that to her. I mean, she fought with him constantly through most of their relationship, and for the most part had treated him unfairly, but I knew she loved him—desperately.

  Not that any of my angst really mattered anyway. Drew had never offered to break up with Laurie. To have me be his one and only. Nothing like that. Actually, he really hadn’t offered anything. At all. All he really said was that we couldn’t be friends any longer, that his feelings had moved beyond friendship. But he hadn’t actually said where they had moved to … not that I had given him a chance to say much of anything.

  But that was because we couldn’t be anything.

  As much as I wanted to be his everything—like he had always been mine—still, the more I thought about it, the more I knew it was impossible.

  CHAPTER 13

  All this week I avoided both Drew and Laurie. I continued letting Ethan pull me to the band room for lunch so I didn’t have to eat in the cafeteria—where I used to have to endure the couple either fighting or kissing. Now I just had to fight off Ethan’s attempts to get me alone with him. Thank goodness the band room was always full of friends—just not the ones Laurie would approve of. She’s a social snob. I’m so not.

  Avoiding Off-Limits Drew in classes was harder, as I’d always feel his eyes on me, but I didn’t sit near him and I’d race out the classroom door as soon as the bell rang.

  As for Laurie—she called a few times during the week, but I’d just text her back. Short answers. Really short. Like, one word replies.

  I thought my avoidance strategy was working out fairly well—until Friday morning. Then I groaned. ‘Cause they were both standing at my locker waiting for me when I got to school.

  Seeing them, I froze. My stomach seriously knotted at the sight of them—there at my locker, obviously wanting to talk to me. Groan.

  “Cute couple, huh?”

  The unexpected voice was sardonic—and Rider’s. (aka: Heartbreaker Hanson’s) (or Kindergarten Boyfriend) (Or Total Wad) (your choice).

  Rider grinned, “You don’t look too happy that they’re at your locker. In fact, you look like you might even rather talk to me than them.”

  “Fairly astute observation,” I murmured dryly … though he was right. Well, pretty much. However, I told him, “Only, I’d rather even talk to them than you.”

  He put his hand over his heart. “Ouch.”

  He was only playfully teasing. Playing. I mean, that’s what players do, right? They play, play, play. And he was a serious player, otherwise he wouldn’t be able to break so many hearts. Grrr!

  “You know, you can stay here talking to me and they’ll go away,” Rider suggested, seeming to somehow get my situation. What the—??

  I cut my gaze back to the couple. I thought about simply turning and running the other direction. Seriously, I was willing to bypass my needed books not to have to endure being with them. Only they were watching me. And they knew I saw them.

  So, busted.

  I mumbled to Rider, “No, they’ll just come over here, and Laurie will try setting you up on a date with me.”

  Rider grinned, “Then let her come.”

  I rolled my eyes. “I’d rather eat worms.”

  “Ouch,” I heard Rider say as I wobbled away from him, preparing to meet my doom.

  Slowly I slogged through the crowded hallway to the disturbingly gorgeous couple, since really I had no other choice. Though I thought about running the other direction anyway—only I needed my history project from my locker. So, smart move on their part, I guess.

  Anyway, I slogged over to them and tried not to grimace, and in fact attempted to smile (sort of) in greeting when I got to them. “What’s up?”

  “That’s what I want to know,” Laurie said. “It seems like you’re avoiding me.”

  I noticed that Drew was hanging back, and I realized that Laurie had dragged him along with her to find out what was going on with me, but that he was uncomfortable about getting involved with any dispute between Laurie and me. (Or, you know, he just felt guilty that he’d tried kissing me.) (Very possible.)

  Laurie gave me a confrontational eyeful. “It seems like you’re avoiding me.” She fully called me out, “Are you?”

  “Um, of course not,” I lied, fumbling with my lock combination, carful to avoid looking her in the eye. “I’ve just been really busy.” (Avoiding your gorgeous, staring boyfriend.)

  “Well, you’re coming to my party tonight, right?” she asked, as if of course I was. Which would be a normal assumption, of course. But the thing is, I was seriously thinking about calling her up around an hour before her party and feigning a terrible headache—which just talking to her in front of Drew was giving me anyway. So it wouldn’t really be a lie. At all. I mean, I totally knew I couldn’t handle seeing her and Drew together all night; even though I had lived with it just fine for the past two years. But now everything had changed. Big time.

  “You can bring Ethan,” she added with a sly smile.

  My heart jolted.

  I looked at her confused. “Ethan?”

  “Yeah,” she smirked with a mischievous gleam in her eyes. “Don’t try to deny it. He’s what’s been keeping you so busy these days, right? I see you two together all the time.” Her eyes flickered with satisfaction. “He’s cute, and on the soccer team—not your normal band-geek. So I approve.” She wiggled her eyebrows. “What’s been going on with you two?”

  “Nothing,” I stammered out, sort of horrified realizing I’d given her the wrong idea.

  Ethan was just around me quite a bit at school these day
s, because I let him be around—because otherwise I’d be alone, basically. I couldn’t hang out with my normal group of friends because that would mean hanging around with Laurie and Drew. So I accepted Ethan’s lunch escorting and let him walk me to my classes and stuff, without realizing what it would look like to other people.

  I bit my lip, suddenly even more concerned about Ethan than before. Was I unintentionally leading him on? Suddenly, I had the sinking feeling that I was.

  Yikes! Now I felt this terrible cloud of doom hovering over me. ‘Cause it seemed unavoidable—I had a horrible, overwhelming burden ahead of me: I was going to have to explain my complicated feelings to Ethan, and I didn’t wanna. That was so not a conversation I would relish. Just the thought of it made me cringe.

  “Brooke, don’t be shy,” Laurie smiled smugly. “He’s cute. I like him a lot better than that loser Tony you used to date.”

  “You didn’t even know Tony,” I pointed out without much feeling. She had always looked down her nose at mine and Tony’s relationship, the short time we had one. She thought he was a loser just because he wasn’t popular, or involved in any sports, and didn’t drive a fancy car. She could not understand the concept of liking a boy simply because he was nice and fun to be with.

  “Well, whatever,” Laurie’s mood was too high to debate such a trifle matter—Tony. (Who I had really, really liked, by the way.) She lifted her eyebrows, “You’re coming tonight, right?”

  After a moment’s hesitation, I reluctantly nodded. “Of course I am. It’s your birthday, isn’t it?”

  “Good girl!” She smiled happily and squeezed my arm. “See you tonight!”

  She sashayed away, hand in hand with Drew.

  I squeezed my eyes shut, then turned back to my locker, trying to get the image of them holding hands and snuggling out of my tortured brain, all the while wondering if I’d still be able to call Laurie with a sickness plea.

  Then I noticed Rider—my kindergarten boyfriend—watching me with an inquisitive smirk on his face.

  I quickly looked away from him, searching through my locker—for nothing. Just frantically doing it because I could still feel his eyes on me from across the crowded hallway, and for some reason it had my heart pounding wild. Maybe because he looked so … hot. And interested. So I searched and searched—for nothing. But then—only moments later I heard him whisper huskily in my ear, “If you don’t like being with them, don’t be with them.”

  I turned back to him and tried to act unruffled—poised, even. And like I didn’t have a clue who he was talking about. I lifted an eyebrow, “Who?”

  “The quarterback you have a crush on—and his girlfriend that is supposedly your friend.”

  Whoa.

  How did he know that stuff?

  I gulped.

  The dude knew me—somehow.

  I mean, somehow Laurie—my “friend”—thought I was crushing on Ethan, but this guy—this total heartbreaker that stomped on girls’ hearts without even noticing—somehow he noticed this—me. My life.

  My lips parted slightly. Then I gushed out (inanely), “Just stay out of my life, Heartbreaker.”

  Rider raised his eyebrows. Then he choked on a little laugh, “Heartbreaker?!”

  I was ready to growl out something nasty. Just because he had me so flustered … and also because he hurt me so bad—yeeears ago. And hadn’t talked to me since. Well, until I got rid of my glasses and grieving “frump.” Suddenly, now he bothered to walk clear across the hallway and shock my world.

  Yeah, it pissed me off—especially because it had my heart pounding so hard. I mean, what the—??

  I opened my mouth to say something else as equally stupid as my “heartbreaker” comment no doubt, but just then Ethan (Band-boy) was at my elbow.

  “Can I walk you to class, Brooke?” he offered with a teasing smile, like he knew he could—because he thought I had a “thing” for him too.

  Apparently everyone thought that—except Rider. Apparently.

  ‘Cause Rider just stared into my eyes and smirked slightly—like he knew the whole, entire complicated truth.

  Then he murmured around a small grin, “Who exactly is the heartbreaker?”

  CHAPTER 14

  In the end I caved about going to Laurie’s birthday party. I decided it would be easier to leave the party early claiming a splitting headache, than ditch the whole thing altogether. I mean, it was her birthday, and she was my friend. Well, pretty much.

  My brother gave me and some of his friends a ride to the party. He had gone over earlier to set up for his band. When we got to Laurie’s the party was already going strong. I found some of my semi-friends and started talking with them, avoiding the birthday girl as long as possible.

  “You made it!” Laurie snuck up on me from behind.

  Drew, always the devoted boyfriend, stood beside her. They made the most beautiful couple—Laurie and Drew—and I decided I hated them both very much. Yes, a headache was not going to be hard to claim.

  “Why were you guys so late?” Laurie sulked.

  Drew’s eyes sparked. He looked beyond interested to hear my answer, but said nothing.

  ‘Are you still thinking about me a lot?’ I wanted to ask him, right here in front of Laurie, while she was holding his hand and looking so complacent.

  But I just shrugged, answering Laurie’s question. Because I’m not really a witch. I just fantasize about it sometimes.

  I answered with a shrug, “Nick had some things he had to do.”

  Actually, Nick didn’t like Laurie. She got on his nerves, the way she would pout when she didn’t get her way. He made fun of her a lot. In fact, he only agreed to play at the party as a favor to Drew, and he was going to be leaving early to close for some other party. We came late simply because Nick didn’t want to come earlier.

  I quickly changed the subject. “You look hot, Birthday Girl.” I gave her a tight hug.

  She really did look beautiful, not that she didn’t always. She just looked especially radiant tonight. Drew must have given her quite a present before the party, I decided dryly. Though I knew probably it was just that he’d given her his undivided attention all day. I noticed that from afar, and wondered if that was his actual present to her—his devoted attention, like he used to always give her, not just on her birthday, but always. It had been a while since he did that though, so I could see why it would make her so happy and relieved to get it now. (Sad, right?)

  “You look good too.” Laurie smiled enthusiastically, “Did you bring Ethan?”

  Drew’s eyes sparked with interest again.

  Heat shot through me.

  “Uh, no. I um, didn’t get a chance,” I hedged/lied. Then I dodged, “Excuse me, I’m going to go see if your mom needs any help in the kitchen.”

  Not going to lie, I had actually thought about inviting Ethan to the party. It had been pathetically tempting to do it—so I wouldn’t have to be single the whole night while I endured watching the pair together, kiss and snuggle and dreamily stare into each other’s eyes. (Ouch!) But in the end I decided against inviting Ethan, since I just wanted him at the party just to have someone to pal around with, but I was afraid now that he was getting the wrong idea about us, and might take the invitation the wrong way. I was already afraid I’d caused a problem about that, and squirmed feeling I needed to be carful not to lead him on in any way—at least not any more than I may have already … which Rider had indicated I was doing—Rider with his smirk, and knowing gleam in his eyes. Rider that had made my heart pound with his astute and astonishing awareness of me and my life.

  I quickly shook my head, trying to shake away all thoughts of Rider. The dude was a player, and very bad for my heart.

  But then again, so was Drew.

  So, I spent most of the night in the kitchen—hiding/helping—but every once in a while Laurie would drag me out to the party to mingle. There was this guy—Wade—from my math class. He conveniently became my Ethan for the nigh
t. Sort of. He kind of followed me around, chatting the whole night. I didn’t mind. At all. Was eternally grateful, actually.

  “Who’s that guy glued to you tonight?” my friend Kim asked me. “He’s really cute.”

  I smiled. Kim is boy crazy, though too shy to actually talk to a boy. But she talks about them a lot.

  “His name is Wade,” I said.

  Conveniently, Wade came smiling up to me at that moment offering me a soda. So I played cupid and said, “Hey Wade, this is Kim’s favorite song, go dance with her.”

  I’m not usually so bossy. But with some boys you can be—Wade’s one of those boys. Wags his tail to please you.

  I really hoped Kim and him would hit it off—though I’d sorely miss my companion for the night, that’s for sure.

  But after the dance, Wade was back on my heels, so I let him be, since Kim had moved on to drool over some baseball player.

  “I’ll get that for you,” Wade said as I tried to grab a discarded root beer bottle that someone had placed in the hanging lap over the kitchen table.

  He smiled playfully once he got it. “We could play spin the bottle,” he grinned, raising his eyebrows.

  I laughed—hoping he was kidding.

  For the rest of the night, Wade helped me as I did kitchen duty. I just assigned myself to it because I felt uncomfortable all night whenever I left the kitchen. Mostly on account of Kenny Hatchet. He would never take his eyes off me while I was in his view. At least that’s what it seemed like to me, but of course I could have been overreacting. It’s just the guy gave me the creeps. Not that he was super ugly, because he wasn’t. He had big, pretty eyes. But he wore his hair long and it was always flopping in his eyes, and he was always staring. Okay, I guess it was only that he stared that bothered me, but it bothered me a lot. I didn’t know the guy personally, he had never spoke a word to me, which was weird in itself, since he had been spending a lot of time at our house practicing with the band—well, until I told Nick not to let him in.