The Defiance (Brilliant Darkness)

by A. G. Henley

"Hey, you," he whispers, his lips brushing my ear.

  I turn my face up to him for a kiss before remembering that Bear must be watching us. He'll have to get used to this, if we're going to be friends, but the chance of us all becoming friends might be greater if I don't push him too far, too fast. I pull back a hand's length, which is as far away from him as I can stand.

  "Hello, Peree." Bear emphasizes the name a little, as if to prove he was listening to me earlier. His voice is surprisingly pleasant.

  "Bear," Peree responds. His tone is a lot more horizontal. Then again, he's probably been really worried. He wasn't expecting us to come tumbling in, laughing madly, with Bear in tow.

  "When did you . . ." I stop, not wanting to mention the illegal hunting trip in front of Bear. "How long have you been here?"

  "I was watching after the sick ones left, but I didn't see you or Eland come out of the caves with the others. I snuck down after everyone went inside." He runs his hand through my dripping hair. "I would've checked the caves, but the guards were keeping a close eye on the entrance."

  "Guards?" I ask.

  "In the trees and on the ground." I can tell from his tone that he took it as a challenge rather than a warning. "Petrel's covering for me at home. I had to create a bit of a distraction to get past the guard down here. It helped that she kept ducking back inside her shelter to get out of the rain.”

  "What if they catch you?" I say, anxiety sparring with pleasure that he’s here. "You shouldn't have come."

  "Yeah, I should have. I told you, Fenn. I'm not going to let them keep us apart."

  His words pulse with all the frightening intensity I've heard in his voice before. I rest my hand on his chest and nod.

  "I guess I'll head home now." Bear sounds like he'd rather be anywhere else than watching this.

  I turn to face him. If I could stitch a permanent apology to my lips, I might have done it. "Thank you for everything, Bear. And please don't mention that you saw Per—"

  "C'mon, Fenn. Give me some credit." The door doesn't exactly slam behind him, but it's not far off. I sigh. Peree sits on my bed, pulling me into his lap.

  I struggle to stand again. "Wait, I'll get you all wet."

  "I couldn’t care less," he says. I put my head on his shoulder, savoring the closeness, but I'm shivering with cold within seconds. "Okay, maybe you should change first."

  Eland's way ahead of me. I guess he's not shy about stripping down in front of Peree, because he's into a dry set of clothes in no time. But I'm not so bold. As usual, Peree notices my problem. He sets me on my feet and moves away.

  "Take a look at these, Eland. I made them for you. Had some time on my hands." They must be arrows, given Eland's enthusiasm and the stream of technical questions about shaft lengths and fletchings.

  Assuming they’ve turned their backs by now, I grab my extra set of clothes out of the basket in the corner that Acacia wove for us years ago. Aloe's extra clothes are still in here, too. I wish they fit me.

  I'm sure another woman would be very happy to have them; I just can't bring myself to part with them yet. I know it's silly to be so sentimental about clothes, but hanging on to the bits and pieces of Aloe helps me feel like she's not quite so lost. Or maybe that I'm not.

  I quickly scrub as much of the mud off my face and body as I can with my sopping clothes, and let them fall in a pile around my feet. I'm wiggling into my blessedly dry underclothes when the unthinkable happens, at least to a fairly-modest, mostly-naked girl—the door opens.

  CHAPTER NINE

  I almost scream, but I stop myself at the last second. I don't want to draw attention to our shelter with Peree here.

  "Well, this is interesting," a male voice says.

  "Moray! Get out of here!" I hiss.

  I scuttle behind the washstand and spread my dry clothes against me, trying—and failing—to cover all of me at once. My whole body burns like a spicy pepper from the garden. Doesn't anyone knock anymore?

  Peree steps between Moray and me. "You heard her. Go. Now." His voice is so menacing, it's unrecognizable.

  "Take your own advice, Lofty. Rain's stopping, and I doubt you want to be seen down here right now. Sorry to interrupt whatever you three were up to," he says suggestively, "but I have business with Fennel."

  "Don't be disgusting, Moray!" I say. "Go outside, or at least turn around, and let me get dressed. Then we can talk."

  "Wait—you want to talk to this low life?" Peree asks.

  "Not really, but I promised I would."

  "I'm not talking with him here," Moray says.

  "I'm not talking at all until I can get dressed without an audience," I huff. "So all of you out! Except you, Peree. He's right; you can't risk being seen."

  "I'm going, I'm going," Eland says, chortling. "But I'll be right back. I'm not missing this."

  "I'll count to thirty, sweetheart," Moray says, "then I'm coming back in. Looking good, by the way."

  "Get out!" Peree and I bark together. "And stop calling me that!" I add.

  The door finally closes.

  I can't tell who's fuming more, Peree or me, as I hurry into my clothes.

  "What does he want?" he asks, as I, finally fully covered, try to locate my lost dignity. I know it was around here somewhere.

  "You'll find out in about ten seconds," I grumble.

  This was not how I imagined this conversation with Moray starting out. But having Peree here is better than talking to him alone. I don't trust him any farther than I can budge him.

  "Ready or not, here I come." Moray pushes his way back in.

  "He only counted to twenty." Eland follows him.

  Peree must have been lying in wait, because I hear a short scuffle.

  "Listen, Groundling." If Peree's voice drops any lower, he'll be picking it up off the floor. "Fennel told me what you did to her. Nothing like that will ever happen again. Got it? Keep your hands off her and a respectful tongue in your mouth."

  "Or what?" Moray asks.

  "Or next time, she'll bite it all the way off," Peree says smoothly. Eland laughs nervously, but I know I'll face his questions later about what exactly happened with Moray.

  "Enough," I say. "Everyone take a seat, and we can have a civil discussion like the adults most of us are supposed to be now."

  I sit on my pallet, primly covering my knees with my dress. Peree hovers beside me.

  Eland jumps onto his pallet.

  Moray doesn't move. "I don't want the Lofty here."

  "You don't have a choice, Groundling," Peree says.

  "Apparently you two haven't been introduced," I say. "Moray, Peree. Peree, Moray. Now you can call each other by your proper names."

  Moray thumps into a chair in the corner. "Give me the message."

  "Congratulations,” Eland says quickly. “You're going to be a father."

  Silence. "What did you say?"

  I so wish I could see Moray's face at that moment, but hearing his voice is pretty good, too. He sounds strangled, like he’s been kicked between the legs.

  "We met your Lofty friend," I say. "Nice girl."

  "Wonder what she saw in you," Eland mutters.

  "When was this? Who was it?" Peree sounds stunned and sort of amused, probably reacting to whatever he sees on Moray's face.

  I shrug. "She wouldn’t tell us her name."

  "What else did she say?" Moray’s voice is already almost nonchalant. Can't shock this one for long.

  "She said to meet her by the water hole as soon as the sick ones leave."

  "At the usual time," Eland says.

  Moray jumps out of his chair. "Don't tell anyone else."

  "Please," Peree says.

  "What?" Moray asks, a little irritably.

  "Please don't tell anyone else."

  "Please don't tell anyone or I might have to let it slip to the Three that you were down here today without their permission. How's that sound, Lofty?" Moray asks.

  I stand. "Listen, your friend saved ou
r lives, and we promised to deliver her message to you. I don't want to get any more involved in your business than I have to. We'll keep your secret if you keep ours. Don't tell anyone you saw Peree here."

  "Please," Eland adds. I frown at him.

  "Okay . . . you got a deal," Moray drawls. "Looks like we're in bed together after all, sweetheart, one way or another."

  He chuckles as he leaves. Peree drags the chair in front of the door, mumbling about keeping out other unwelcome visitors. I flop onto my pallet, the stress of the last ten minutes catching up to me.

  He sits down beside me. "What happened? All I know is Petrel plucked Eland off a tree and brought you up, then you both disappeared."

  I tell him the whole story from the whispered threat and the fire, to our frightening dash into the caves. Eland chimes in from time to time, telling him Aloe's message about the Three, and describing how our Lofty girl-guide looked. When he says her hair is so blond it's almost white, Peree thinks he might know who it is. A young girl named Frost. Too young to be partnered with another Lofty, much less to be sneaking off with much older Groundlings.

  Moray should be in more trouble than he knows what to do with if the Covey and the Three find out, but based on my own experience, he'll find a way to weasel out of any serious consequences.

  "Petrel and Moon didn't know any of that," Peree says. "Moon had a bit of a scare, and you two were gone by the time they got back home. They felt terrible."

  "A scare?” I ask.

  "Apparently she couldn't feel the hatchling move during all the excitement with the fire in the trees. They're fine now."

  I can't help giggling. Eland snickers, too. "Hatchling?"

  "That's what we call them before they, well, hatch." He sounds defensive. "What do you call 'em?"

  "Babies." I laugh.

  "Totally uninspired."

  "Anyway, I'm glad they're okay." I lie back. He slides my head onto his lap. "So what do we do now? We're getting further away from our goals every day. The Confluence is falling apart."

  "You know what we have to do, Fenn. Go to Koolkuna. It's not safe here for you anymore. Or for Eland," Peree says pointedly.

  "I know. You're right. But our people . . ."

  "Our people are showing us daily that they weren't worth coming back for." His voice is rock hard.

  "I can't believe that. Not all of them. There are good people here, they're just scared and confused."

  "Fennel—at the Feast of Deliverance, I told you you're my whole world now. My past, present, and future, remember? The rest was your agenda."

  I snap upright. "My agenda? What's that supposed to mean?"

  "I mean it was what you wanted. Not me."

  Eland shifts on his bed. "Um, should I leave?"

  "No, Eland. I want you to hear this," Peree says. "Your sister's everything to me. And you're everything to her. Which makes you pretty important to me, too. I need to know you're both safe, and I want to be with you. That's my agenda. If I can't accomplish it in this place, then I want us to go to Koolkuna. It's as simple as that."

  I'm flustered Peree is saying all this in front of Eland, but I'm touched by his words.

  "Is it as simple as that, though?" I ask him gently. "What about Moon and Petrel, and their, er, hatchling? And Breeze?"

  "You two are my family now,” Peree says. “And my family is most important."

  How can I argue with that? I cup his face in my hands and kiss him, maybe a little too enthusiastically.

  "Wow, you guys are gross. I feel kinda sick," Eland says. He pretends to retch.

  Peree laughs. "Watch and learn, brother. You'll need these skills before long."

  I take Peree's hand in a chaste handshake. "Compromise?"

  "I'm listening," he says.

  "We'll go. But we need a few days to get organized. To collect the food and supplies we need? We'll tell a few people we're leaving—a few, Eland—and find out who might want to go. I'll bet it'll be more than you think."

  "And what if the Three find out?" Eland asks.

  "Or the Covey," Peree adds.

  "That's a risk we'll have to take."

  I know what Aloe said, but I can't believe Fox would allow Eland or me to be harmed. It doesn't fit with what I know to be true about him: that he's a good man who treated us well all our lives. Maybe I’m naïve to still believe that.

  "I doubt they'll be happy about it if they find out, but what can they do to stop us, if enough people really want to go?" I ask.

  "Seriously, Fenn,” Peree says, concern strong in his voice. “You both need to be careful."

  He doesn't need to remind me of that. I know I may be making a huge mistake. But I have a dream of delivering on my promise of a peaceful home for our people to share, and I've fought too hard to give up on it now.

  The trees exhale as I crouch in the forest after the rain. Their moist, scented breath covers my skin like an herbal poultice. I'm gathering dry kindling for the bonfire later. It's not an easy job after so much rain. We might have had enough firewood stored up if the Lofties had allowed us to cut down more trees.

  Calli's nearby, chattering about spending the afternoon with Cricket and his family. Calli and Cricket still have both their parents. It's unusual among Groundlings. Lofties, too, from what Peree has told me. Between the sick ones, accidents, illness, and occasional violence, the forest has never been an easy place to live.

  The Lofties are on the move above us. I hear their footsteps and the sounds of sawing on the walkways. It's too muffled to make out much else.

  I wonder what Peree's doing now. He managed to get back into the trees without being spotted by the guards, although Eland said it was close. Peree's distinctive honeysuckle taste lingers on my lips from when he kissed me goodbye. I hate that he had to go.

  I stand up and stretch, then balance on one foot, gently rotating the ankle I sprained when Moray pushed me into the pit. My body feels closer to normal, but I still bear the aches and pains of our search for the Waters.

  "Fenn. You're not listening," Calli says.

  "Sorry, what were you saying?"

  "I asked if you'd met up with Peree since the fires. I know he's not supposed to come down now," her voice turns teasing, "but I didn't think that would stop you two for long."

  I hesitate. Is Calli asking as my best friend? Or as an informant for her father and the Three?

  "No, I haven’t." My voice is even. I need to lie convincingly.

  "Can't be too bad. You're still wearing his bird thingy around your neck."

  I touch my necklace, recalling the feeling of Peree's hand covering it in farewell. "I hate this. I miss being with him, Calli." I might have to lie about other things, but I can tell her the truth about my feelings.

  "Why?"

  My laugh is incredulous. "What do you mean, why? I love him."

  "No, I mean what is it about him that you miss?" She sounds serious now. "I told you I'm trying to understand your choice, but it's . . . hard. How is being with him better than it would have been if you'd chosen Bear? You still could, you know. He would partner with you in a heartbeat."

  I lean against a tree, and Calli moves closer. Water drips from the branches in a staccato rhythm around us; I'm almost as wet as I would be if it actually was raining.

  The anuna sing when it rains in Koolkuna, offering thanks for the life-giving water. All our water seems to give us is blindness. It's like the story Peree told me about the sighted man who wanders into the valley of the blind. It's our story, only in reverse. Everyone here might be able to see, except me, but they can't seem to understand anything outside the realm of their own experience. At least Calli is trying to understand.

  "I love Bear as a friend," I say. "I always have. But how I feel about Peree is different. Of course I think he's wonderful—thoughtful, kind, strong . . . and sort of sulky sometimes—but there's more to it than the things I love about him." I struggle to put my feelings into words without sounding supercilious
.

  "Choosing him represents something bigger. Something I want more than only a partner. I'm choosing a new way of life with Peree. If I partnered with Bear, it would feel like accepting the way things were before I found Koolkuna: fearing the Scourge, tolerating the Exchange, hating the Lofties without question. I can't do that now, Calli."

  "You wouldn't have to go back to the way things were. Things are changing. I've heard Father and Mother talking. Before the fires the Confluence was already discussing getting rid of the Exchange. The Three aren't going to let things go back to the way they were, not exactly. But partnering with a Lofty . . . ." She stops, as if she might be going too far.

  "Tell me, Calli. I want to know how you feel."

  "It's only that . . . you partnering with a Lofty . . . it's like saying that everything they've done to us over the years, the way they looked down on us—that it doesn't matter to you." She talks fast, stumbling over her words. "It's like Peree is more important to you than us. I mean, I'm not saying that's what I think, but that's kind of how it looks."

  Her words sting. After everything I've tried to do to help my people, they don't think they're important to me? I try to stay calm.

  "I can't help how it looks. I have to do what I think is right and be true to my feelings. I love Peree, and I'm going to partner with him. I want our people to believe that the Lofties aren't all heartless and cruel like we've always thought—and our people aren't always blameless. I mean, look at Adder. Human life didn’t mean a whole lot to him—at least the lives of those he saw as different from him.”

  “Adder was crazy. The Council is different now. Fox, Pinion, and Bream will handle this crisis with the Lofties and find a way to work with them."

  I'm not so sure about that, but her confidence in her father is understandable. "Fox is a good man. I know he wants what he thinks is best for us."

  "That's what I want for you, too," she says. "I worry you're making a mistake."

  I go to her then and wrap my arms around her. "Peree and I are supposed to be together. If I'm sure about anything, it's that."

  "I hope you're right." She turns me around and quickly whips my damp, stringy hair into a loose knot. "At least he's not hard on the eyes. Except for all that blond hair and the feathers and everything."