The Way Home (Lights of Peril)

by Unknown

  “Fuck. Alright.”

  Once Cricket closes the door, Hem and I stand close to each other. “Meant what I said. I would like to talk more about this, but damn if these clowns can’t handle a tiny baby for more than fifteen minutes at a time.”

  I smile at his frustration, nod, and follow him downstairs.

  Once we hit the commons I see that almost everyone is here. Mace, Shame, Honor, April, and Gunner look at us walking in the room and it doesn’t look good. Mace has tears in her eyes and April is staring at me like I’m about to disappear. Hem walks to Gunner and, as he does, I see Shame walk into Gunner as well and they all nod to head back into Hem’s office.

  Really not good.

  “Mace, what’s going on?” She better start talking. I’m not in the mood after my morning of mayhem to pull her teeth to find out. Lucky for me, though, she’s at least trying to clue me in.

  “Come here and sit for a few minutes, huh? I think you need to relax before I tell you exactly what’s going on.”

  “No, I’m good. Out with it. “

  April jumps in with her usual bluntness to give me the bad news I had expected, but it still takes me off guard. “Someone delivered pictures, like last time, Sadey “

  “What? Last time? Pictures of what?” I look to Mace and get nothing.

  “Of you, woman. They are pictures of you sitting on Hem’s bench at the cemetery. You are crying and someone was obviously watching you there.”

  “Why though? What would anyone care if I…”

  Realization hits me. Someone not so nice knew Hem wasn’t dead. They were watching me talking to his grave, looking at me for verification, to see if I believed my own words as I grieved.

  “Sadey, you alright?” Finally, coming out of your trance now Mace?

  “No, Mace, I’m not alright. This is messed up.”

  I hear motion behind me and here comes a very pissed off Hem. I haven’t seen him this upset since I used my words to hurt him on his first night back.

  “No one leaves this place, you got that? None of you women leave this place. Gunner is going to get Cherry and Ace now. ‘Til I advise otherwise, you are to stick close to avoid incident.”

  Hem’s face is set in vehement anger, but he says nothing else after those instructions.

  “Hem, I want to know why. April said someone took my picture at your grave. Who was it? I want to see the picture.”

  “Not now, Sadey.” The brush off.

  “Yes, now, Hem. This is about me. I want to see it.” The rebuttal.

  “I just fuckin’ answered you and I said not now.”

  “It wasn’t a question, Hem.” I lean forward and rip what looks like an eight by ten black and white photo from his hand. He tries to jerk it from my hold, but I’m too quick.

  I study the picture for a few seconds and I see both Hem and Shame looking at each other with apprehension. I don’t see anything threatening about the picture, nothing at all. It’s just a picture of a lonely widow visiting her husband at his grave. The picture could have been anyone else doing the same.

  In the picture, I’m holding a Kleenex and I can see that I had been crying. I start to hand it back to Hem when I notice the writing on the back. I know, even before I look at it, that this is what has Hem so upset because he freezes in anticipation for me to look at it.

  “Bingo, daddy’s home. How’s the widow holding up now?”

  I feel myself get weak as I stand. I’m not sure what to say other than to look at him for the answers he’s not giving me. His face tells me everything I need to know. I have seen this look on him before…at the hospital in Mace’s room the night she told Hem what Greyson did to her, how he hurt her. He made a deal with Warren later that night, a life for a life. Fear consumes me and I’m about to lose myself into grief for him again.

  “Hem, you aren’t leaving. You’re not going to react to this. Do you hear me? I’m not losing you again, goddamn it.”

  I run to him and wrap my arms around his neck and hold him close to me. I foolishly think that if I hold him here that he’s become my hostage and he won’t, can’t, do anything stupid, but this is Hem and this is just the way he is.

  “Let go, Sade.”

  “You’re not leaving me again.”

  “Let go, Sade. I’m not going anywhere right now.”

  I grasp him even tighter, holding him to me with everything I have. “No, you’re not leaving me again. You’re not walking into something knowing you’re not coming back. I can’t do this again, Hem. This is exactly what I’ve been talking about. This!”

  I feel Mace behind me, grabbing at my shirt. She’s whispering to Hem and I don’t give two shits about what she’s trying to get him to do. He’s not going anywhere.

  He pulls at my arms, so I let go of his body and Shame is at my side, pulling me towards him, “Sadey, we knew this was comin’, honey. We’re going to deal with it and I swear to you on all that is good in my life, nothing happens to Hem this time.”

  I’m not looking at him. I’m studying his chest as he towers over, looking down at me. When I look back for confirmation that it will be okay, Hem is gone.

  “Shame, fix this shit or I will. Do you get that? I will fix it myself if you don’t.”

  “Mace, handle her. She’s fuckin’ losing her damn mind. I’ve no patience for this and sure as fuck no time. The two of them are insane right now.”

  He kisses Mace on the top of her head and lets her go to look after me. “Do not fuck with this, you hearing me? Get Patrick to your mothers. Tell her nothing. Just do it.”

  “They are leaving, Shame, for a week of vacation. I don’t want him away that long. Hem will flip his shit if I let that happen.”

  “What the fuck is going through that damn red head of yours, Sadey? That’s exactly where he should be. You want him here? You want him in the middle of all this shit? Do what I’m tellin’ ya to do. Just do it for once without the mouth full of sass.” He doesn’t wait for my response. He’s gone to find Hem.

  Well, fuck.

  Chapter Twenty

  “All thinking men are atheists”

  -Ernest Hemingway

  -One month later-

  “Well, my ladies, we finally get our girls’ day. Who’s with me?” April says to all of us as testament that nothing can take away her ability to find a reason to have a good time…not even a seriously crazy stalker. She’s been begging Hem and Shame to let all the girls hang out together without the men or kids around putting a damper on things. She gets a bit annoyed with the barking from the guys and the kids crying while we all try to relax and talk. She, with no husband and no children, lives in a world without interruptions.

  “I’m in.”

  Cherry has been clean for four weeks and two days, or if you ask her, thirty-three days, nine hours, and however many minutes. She finally came out to everyone about her past drug abuse and, with everyone’s support, she’s getting better. One day at a time, she says. She also admitted to everyone what Greyson did to her, bringing her back into the life of using. She told them all how he did his homework, knew she had a young child, was a whore, and was hooked on drugs for years.

  I’m trying to make the most of this, but since everyone is walking on pins and needles around here, it’s tough. “Mace is going to see her mom first, so she will meet up with us later. The boys are completely against this, just so you know. We have to stay here, at my place, with a guard watching at all times.”

  Honor was elected for babysitting duty, but he knows he isn’t allowed inside, under any circumstances. He most likely wasn’t elected, but volunteered so he could be near April. He hasn’t wanted her around this mess in fear that something might happen to her.

  April sighs heavily. “Whatever. Your stalker is gone. He is for today anyway. I need a mani and a pedi and you promised me. Get your stuff out, come on. I haven’t treated myself to anything in a long time. When you’re done here maybe you could cut my hair?”

 
“You know I don’t know how to cut hair, right? I will if you want me to, but you need to stop being such a boss and rushing me through this ‘cause I’ve seen your toes and I’m not equipped with a chisel and ,by the looks of you, that’s what I need to work those toenails, damn.”

  Shame, Honor, and Hem are packing the kids up for a playdate. The five of them are headed to the Harley store in town. How super fun for the kids. Glad they are still too young to realize this alleged playdate is a ploy for daddies to spend time at their own toy store. Hogs-R-Us, I suppose.

  None of the men appreciate what the girls are doing today. We’ve hardly been able to leave the club, let alone have some quiet girl-time together to talk about them behind their backs. Hanging around Peril on occasion is alright, but to be kept captive there is just too much.

  Nothing has happened since the picture was found outside the Clubhouse. Hem and Shame have been looking, asking, threatening, and gathering any information they can, but from all accounts it appears this lunatic has gone underground. Hem hates the quiet. He always has. He is willing to fight face-to-face, to the death, with any opponent worth his salt. It’s the invisible ones that bother him the most, especially after finding what we found in Greyson and Warren last year.

  Shame sets Ryder down in his car seat and starts in on all of us, attempting to make his point clear. Of course he doesn’t have it in him to get onto April or Cherry. If they get pissed at him, they will stay pissed. He knows I love him too much to stay mad. It’s a personality trait I wish I didn’t have when it comes to Shame.

  “Sadey, this is your show. You are to do what we told you. Stay inside, leave Honor alone, and no goddamn funny business. He’s going to be parked right out front watching. Do not fuck this up. One hour, sixty minutes, that’s it. Do you understand me?”

  Gunner is watching Shame take out his nervousness on me, but Gunner also looks edgy about leaving. “This is not a good idea man. They don’t need a girls’ day. Isn’t every fuckin’ day girls’ day now at the club? Shit, we got so much chick-shit around I’m starting to think my room needs a ‘facelift.’ And that’s not a good thing, brother.” I smile at him because I know April has been at him all month, trying to get in there and whip his room into shape. He doesn’t appreciate it.

  I look to Gunner, giving him my fifth grade evil eye, which is the look saved for boys that are known to have those imaginary ‘cooties.’ “You’re going to ruin this for us. Stop worrying and do what you promised. You said one damn hour, just us. We get it. Give us this one damn hour. Make sure Hem doesn’t leave Patrick laying around in the store, either. You know when he gets into that place he loses all focus.”

  Hem rounds the corner from the hallway. I don’t see him until I’ve been slapped on the ass hard enough I know I’m going to need to rest easy on it for the whole hour.

  “Shut it, Sadey. No different than you girls and that damn spa or whatever the fuck it is. Give me a kiss, wench, I’m leaving.”

  I move to kiss him with an error in judgment, thinking he was only asking for a sweet simple kiss, a love peck, something of that nature. I should have known better. The room erupts in laughter as I’m trying to work my way out of his hold. Jesus, this kind of display I expect from Shame, not Hem.

  “Don’t get drunk. Stay alert. Have fun.” Shame’s final admonition.

  “Oh sure, right, thank you. All kinds of fun to be had here, seeing how we are to stay sober, be on constant lookout, and wait for the men to come back to protect the damsels by dragging them back to be their quarters. Goodbye, Shame.”

  Turning around I look to the girls, wearing small smiles and focused on something behind me. Yet again, I’m slapped harshly on my ass. Damn it, that was my good side, too.

  With that, the men are off. Thank God.

  “Have you talked to Ace?” Holy cow. Again with this, Cherry?

  Shit.

  “No, I haven’t. He’s kept his distance lately, trying to give Hem and I some space.”

  “No, he’s waiting for you to leave Hem and fall madly in love with him. Don’t be dense, Sade,” April says to the table as she rolls her eyes. “He hasn’t loved you as long as you’ve loved Hem, but that hasn’t stopped him from hoping for his happily-ever-after with you.”

  Cherry has pinned me with her visual hold. She told me she loves Ace and, although we never discussed in what capacity, I feel bad for April twisting the knife into herself with her feelings for him.

  I need to let this go, carefully. “He and I talked, just so you know. He’s well aware of my feelings for Hem. I never kept that from him and I’m sorry if that upsets anyone, but it is what it is.”

  “Whatever. He loves you and I hate seeing him hurt. I’m not saying it’s your fault or you did anything to cause it, just sad is all.” As Cherry says this, she still has yet to drop her eyes from me.

  April is sensing the direction this conversation is headed and attempts to stop it. “Whatever, guys. This convo is a downer anyway. We agreed, no talk of men or babies. Just well overdue pampering by our host, Sadey Marie. Paint my piggies, lady. Honor likes my toes. He has a certain fetish with them.”

  “Oh, hell, no. We are definitely not talking about Honor and his fetishes. Did you know he used to work at ‘Ink’ downtown? Mace and I went to get our piercings and he was there. We were humiliated when we walked in and saw him standing there with that southern grin and that boyish face of innocence. To me, he has no fetish other than maybe he sleeps with a teddy bear, so stop.”

  April smiles wide, about ready to laugh at me. “Oh, honey, but what he can do with just a small whip and a set of sturdy handcuffs. If you’re uncomfortable with that, then I probably shouldn’t mention that it was Ace that turned him on to that type of, ummm, stuff.”

  Oh my God, she just did not.

  Cherry smiles at her longtime friend, then makes a gagging noise. April and Honor, still going strong in a monogamous relationship. I love it for them both, I really do, however, I never thought of the sweet, honest, gentle, and loving Honor yielding a ‘small whip’ or getting off on cuffing a woman. I can’t get the visual out of my head now.

  Ace on the other hand, is all drippy and sweet and has the heart of gold. However, after getting from him what I got on the porch that night, there were definitely some signals being sent that he could be hiding some secrets there.

  Just fifteen minutes later the music is blaring. We are talking and laughing and I’m in the kitchen opening the first bottle of wine. This can’t be classified as a girls’ day, but it’s a piece of normal we’ve gone without since creeper has started threatening us.

  Hem and I are still not living together yet, but not by his choice. Not that we are given that option anyway, since pretty much every night we stay at the club and when we don’t, we just crash here so he can spend some alone time with Patrick without the circus in attendance. I’m ready to commit to him fully. I just need life’s chaos to calm down long enough for us to set it right again.

  While I’m in the kitchen making snacks and pouring wine I catch a glimpse of Cherry headed towards the front door. April starts to lower the music after seeing what Cherry is doing and she knows to stop her. She gets it. This is bad.

  Cherry turns to us with her hand on the door handle and yells at us both thinking she’s going to be talking over the now muted music, “It’s Mace. She’s here, finally. Damn, we only have about forty five minutes left. She almost missed our fake girl’s day.”

  April looks at me in relief. After hearing who is at the door, I immediately feel relief as well. Hell, so wrapped up in all the sex talk I had completely forgotten Mace was coming. I must say that just because the afternoon rule was to not talk about the boys, doesn’t mean we don’t sit and talk about the boys. I love hearing about Honor and Shame from my friends. It has been voted unanimously that we believe of all the men, Shame probably has the best moves and greatest stamina and, I also may add, that we unanimously agree that Mace is a lucky bitch and
we hate her for it.

  I walk to the living room where we have gathered with our wine and snacks and before I get a chance to greet my feisty friend Mace, I’m met with a fear that runs through my entire body as I hear Cherry’s words as she stands at the open door looking out, “Oh, my God. You’re him. You were here. It was you at the liquor store, I saw you.” The next thing I see, Cherry is on the floor after being hit in the head with blunt force from the butt of someone’s gun.

  April is sitting on the couch screaming in fear. I’m standing in the living room doorway motionless. Everything is happening so fast I can’t get it together. When I see the face that I will never get out of my head again, I swallow hard to look to Cherry who is now lying on the floor holding her head with both hands and crying.

  “Invite a man in?” He walks in unwelcome and comes right at me as if he’s been here a thousand times before and knows the layout of my house. April is quiet. She’s caught the gun in his hand and the knife harnessed around his waist.

  He carries himself well. He knows he’s easy on the eyes. He’s young, early twenties maybe. The scar on his eye is prominent but it doesn’t take away from his good looks; dark hair, blue eyes, olive skin, tall, lean, but not stocky. If I saw him on the street and he dropped something I wouldn’t hesitate to be sure he got it back, but that’s before forcing his way into my house, like this, ready to strike. Evil has many faces.

  “Oh, God, don’t hurt us. Who are you? What do you want?” I’m looking at him stalking towards me and to the front bay window, from him to the window, back and forth. Honor.

  He tilts his head to the side, looking like the madman he most likely is and his voice sears my every nerve. “Don’t hurt you? What’s the fun in that?”

  Before I can continue my plea, he heads to Cherry who is still on the floor and grabs her hair, pulls her up, and gets directly in her face maliciously. “I remember you. I got pictures of you and my brother. He said you were a sweet treat that liked to struggle. Also said you enjoyed some candy. You whores like the nose candy, don’t you? Don’t have any on me now, babe, but we’re gonna get through it just fine, aren’t we?”