by Mary Smith
I grab his face and kiss him hard. He pushes me up against the mirror.
“Don’t hold my wrists,” I say, turning around.
“Maxima, stop. You don’t want it this way.” Remington takes about five steps away from me.
“I said I couldn’t because I couldn’t see your face.” I point to the mirror. “I can see you now.”
He shakes his head. “You don’t like hard and fast. I won’t do that to you.” He holds his hands up defensively.
“Sex with you is what I want. I don’t have any experience. What if we do it your way and it’s the best ever?” Now, I’m almost yelling at him.
“You were raped.” He is growling. “I don’t think rough, hard sex is on the top of your list.”
“You’re not raping me, you dumb fuck.” How did we get here? I wanted to make him open up to me, and now, I’m cussing him instead.
We stare at each other, and I can feel the air shift between us. I’m being honest with him. I don’t know anything about sex. Yes, it’s all still so new to me, but with him, I’m not scared. Nervous? Sure. However, I know he won’t hurt me.
Remington’s eyes are hard. Not mean. Hard. They’re full of lust and built-up sexual tension. I feel it, too. We’ve not even touched in five days. It’s the first time I’ve ever felt this way. As if one touch could send me over the sexual cliff.
He moves faster than I can process. He grabs my face and pushes me against the mirror. His mouth and tongue claim me, and I moan loudly. He pins me with his hips, but leaves my arms and hands free. Remington moves away from my lips and spins me around.
“Just keep looking at me.”
Even in the heat of our moment, he still worries about me.
He tugs my maxi-skirt up and slides my thong over. I’m glad I wore this outfit. He bites gently on my earlobe and down my neck. I lay my head back, my palms flat on the mirror. I can still see him. His touches might be a little rougher, but it’s still him. My Remington.
“Spread your legs.”
I do.
“Look at me, Maxima.”
I lift my eyes and connect with his. I can feel him line up with me.
“Are you okay?”
“Please, baby.”
He doesn’t slam into me. I prepared myself for him to. It’s not hard and fast.
“Harder, baby.”
Remington stops for a second and stares at me. I need this as much as he does.
And he knows it.
“Well, fuck,” he grumbles and then grabs my shoulder with one hand, the other on my hip.
He pounds right into me, and it takes my breath away. He’s hitting the exact spot I need him too.
“Damn, this isn’t going to last long.” Remington continues his pace.
“I’m not either.” The tension in my body builds, and I push back on hm. I stare in the mirror; his dark brown eyes are on me. I moan loudly, my knees going weak as the orgasm hits me. Remington pounds into me, and I feel his release inside me.
He pulls out of me, but then pulls me down to the floor with him, hugging me to his body.
“Feel better?” I rest my chin on his pec.
“Are you okay?” The concern in his tone is clear.
“Answer me first.”
“I do.” He smirks.
“I’m fine.”
“I like when you take charge,” he says with a chuckle.
“It doesn’t happen often, but you were being hard-headed.”
He nods. “I just want her life to be perfect.”
“I understand, but you have to focus on the here and now.” I giggle. “I suddenly sound like Caryn.”
“It’s sound advice.”
“Listen.” I sit up on my knees and lean over him. “You’re my hero, and you’re Arabella’s. Now, it’s time to make sure we keep her. Here at home, with us.”
Caryn’s smiling as I tell her all that’s happened since our last visit. She’s actually been quiet, but smiling.
“Maxima, I can’t believe what I’m hearing. I never thought you would get this far, this fast.”
“I know.” I happily sigh. “It’s all Remington. When I first moved into the house, and then after him coming clean with me, I never imagined this is where I would end up.”
“How do you feel?”
“Human. Alive. Happy. Peaceful.”
Caryn’s smile grows bigger. “I’m so happy for you.”
“Me too.” My emotions are everywhere, and they’re all good ones.
We chat for a little more, mainly about my job. I’ve been so used to being on investment banker, I didn’t think I could be anything else. Now, I consider myself a personal financial adviser. It’s different, but I’m happy.
When I leave Caryn’s office, I feel lighter. It’s been over a week since Remington and I had sex in the gym. The old Remington is back. He told me his dad is helping with getting Rickie’s background info. He’s also calling his attorney almost daily to make sure we’re not missing anything.
I promised Meadow and Harlow lunch today. Remington is home with Arabella, and she has dance class tonight. We contacted Cabel to have Leia hang out with Arabella more. I also ordered some more advanced books too. This way, we can help Arabella move forward.
“Hi, ladies.” I slide in next Meadow “Why are we at a bar during lunch time?”
“Because I want wings and beer,” Harlow says bluntly. “Now, tell us what’s going on with you, Mrs. Rosin.”
My heart flutters when she calls me by my married name. I’m not used to it yet. It seems like just yesterday I can home drunk and had sex with Remington, but it’s been eight weeks. So much has happened and all for the good.
“Yeah, you’ve forgotten us since you became a married woman,” Meadow adds, bumping my shoulder.
“I’m sorry,” I tell them both, and after the waitress takes out orders, I launch into everything that’s been going on at home. They’re my best friends, and I trust them. Some things shock them, and some not so much.
Harlow, of course, is the first to jump in on the sex advice. Of the three of us, she’s more experienced in the department of sexual activities. And, yes, she’s very out spoken, but her intentions are in the right place. Even if I blush at some of the things she says.
“You need to have sex outside or maybe the car.” She bites into one of her wings.
“No, she doesn’t.” Meadow and I share a huge plate of nachos. “Enjoy sex, but don’t be adventurous if you’re not.”
“That’s the issue; I don’t know if I am or not.” I go to take a sip of my beer, but it smells bad, and I put it down. “He treats me with kid gloves.”
“Maxima,” Meadow says my name firmly. “Considering your past, he’s thinking of you. He doesn’t want you to have a panic attack in the middle of sex.”
“I know and I love him for it.”
“Then just have fun,” Harlow says between bites.
They’re right. I’m going to have fun for once in my life.
I laugh and then run around the playhouse as Arabella and Leia chase me with their water guns. I turn and squirt my gun, catching Leia in the legs and then I run over to the other side of the yard.
Arabella squeals with laughter as she hits me in the back, right before Leia sprays her. We continue to go round and round until we hear my name called.
“Dad!” Leia runs over to Cabel and Arabella toward Remington.
“What’s going on here?” Cabel chuckles as Leia hugs him. He doesn’t seem to mind she got him wet.
“Maxima bought us water guns,” Leia says.
“It’s been great,” Arabella adds.
“I’m glad you had fun.” Cabel smiles.
I grab a towel for us all, and we head inside to change into dry clothes. When I come back downstairs, Cabel and Remington are in the kitchen talking. The New Hampshire Bears’ Fan Convention is tomorrow. The entire team is coming back. Remington already got tickets for Arabella and me. His parents will be her
e tonight as well, to go with us.
After Cabel and Leia leave, Arabella and I work on her workbooks for a little bit before her grandparents get here. Remington even comes in and helps as well. We both agreed to treat her as young adult. Neither of us realized how she talked until we paid attention to it. Over the past couple weeks we feel she has been doing better. She goes back to Ella next week. She’s not said anything to us about what she and Ella talked about in their session. Even though we know what happened, she doesn’t know we were watching.
“We’re here,” Claire announces, coming through the front door. Of course, we all go and greet them. It’s great seeing them so much these past couple months. I really love them.
Since it’s already well into the evening, we order take out and catch up. Dinner is good, and we all enjoy each other’s company.
After we get Arabella to bed, we all sit in the living room. Claire hands me a glass of red wine, but it smells off to me. I’ve not had any alcohol since…well…a while. I hadn’t thought about it, but it’s not a big deal.
“Okay, Dad, lay it on us.” Remington puts his arm around me on the couch.
Daniel reaches for one of the two files next to him. “This is what I found out about Rickie. First, there’s no reason your attorney couldn’t get this information. Second, Rickie has been arrested a lot.”
Remington sits up, removing his arm from behind me, and takes the file. I read over his shoulder and see charges of drug possession, intent to sale drugs, prostitution, DUIs, and it keeps going.
“This should really help in your favor,” Claire states.
We both nod in agreement.
“I’ll get this over to him in the morning. Thanks, Dad.”
“Now,” Daniel turns to me. “I have something for you.”
“Me?”
“Remy told us about the private investigator checking you out and your life in Las Vegas.” At Daniel’s words, my stomach drops.
“We wanted to see what they would find,” he continues and now my heart stops.
“Maxima, do you want to know what they found?” Claire asks.
“Part of me does but most of me doesn’t,” I tell them honestly, surprised I’m able to express myself at all. Remington rubs my back, letting me know he’s there for me.
“How about I read it, and if you want me to stop, I will, okay?” Claire suggests, taking the file from Daniel.
I nod and grip Remington’s thigh, hoping my heart doesn’t pound out of my chest. Although, I’m not sure it will keep beating; it might just stop altogether.
“Sarah Miller is your mother, correct?” Claire says her real name.
I nod because my tongue is sandpaper right now.
“She died of a heroin overdose eight years ago,” Claire says softly.
She’s dead?
She died?
“You okay?” Remington asks.
I shrug. Should I feel something? Sadness? Relief? I’m not feeling anything.
“Sarah was married to Lewis Miller.” Claire says his name, and I gasp. My palms begin to sweat, and my ears ring. “He’s in prison, and he’s never getting out. He’s in there for several charges of a rape on a minor, possession of child porn, and human trafficking.”
My stomach grumbles, and I bolt to the downstairs bathroom, barely making it to the toilet to throw up. Remington is right behind me, holding back my hair.
“Here’s a washcloth.” He hands it to me when I remove my head from the toilet.
I wipe my mouth and stand with his help. I rinse my mouth and try my best not to look in the mirror. I know I look horrible.
“I’m here.” He hugs me close, protecting me in his arms. “No one will ever hurt you.”
“I’m okay,” I say into his chest— for his benefit and mine. I need to find my strength because I know they can’t hurt me.
Remington wipes my cheeks with a tissue. “Do you want to go back in?”
“There’s more?” I can’t imagine there is, unless they know about the abortion.
“Just a little bit.” He holds me close again.
“Okay,” I say automatically, even though I am pretty sure I do not want to go in there.
We go back into the living room, and Claire hugs me before I sit back down. I take a couple of deep breaths and get ready for the next blow.
“The last thing we found was your abortion.” Claire holds my hand. “Even though you were a minor, we could still find it.”
The tears run down my cheeks, and I can’t stop them. “He and one of his friends raped me before I left for Boston. I couldn’t have the baby.” I blurt it out. I told them without even thinking. I can’t take it back.
“Oh honey,” Claire wraps her arms around my neck. I do the best not to lose it all. “We’re here for you.”
“Thank you.” I can barely say the words because I’m crying.
Claire pulls back a bit. “I believe, in my honest opinion, this will not sway a judge. Rickie has a hell of lot more on her plate. You were a victim.”
I nod and pray she’s right. Now, I have to hope everyone else feels the same way.
The convention has been amazing. We’ve seen all the players and some of their families. Remington thought it was funny for us to stand in his line for his autograph. Claire and I even went to a couple panels while Daniel took Arabella to some kid games they had set up. Claire is a huge hockey fan and we’ve had some great discussions. It’s been such a wonderful experience.
When it’s all over, we head out to grab some food. We decide to wait for Remington. None of us has really eaten, so now we’re waiting by the car.
“It’s super hot.” I feel like I’m sweating everywhere.
“Let’s get in the car and turn the air conditioning,” Daniel suggests.
We agree and as I turn, I sway, as if the ground below me is moving. My vision blurs, and suddenly, I see nothing, but I feel myself falling.
When I open my eyes it is too bright florescent lights. I look over and notice a machine beeping. I’m in a hospital? I remember everything, but then it went black.
Did I faint?
“Mrs. Rosin.” A doctor comes on. “I see you are now awake.”
“How long have I been out?” I ask groggily.
The tall, lanky young man glances at the clock. “About an hour and I just received all of your test results.”
“What’s wrong?” I gasp.
“It’s nothing we can’t fix.” He gives me an awkward smile. “Your blood sugar was low as is your iron. But your family said you hadn’t eaten today. You can’t do that while pregnant. It’s puts a strain on you and the baby.”
“What?” All the air leaves the room, and the blood drains from my face. “Baby? Did you say baby?”
“Mrs. Rosin, did you not know you were pregnant?”
“I can’t have children. You…you must have the wrong information.” I try to find a way to breathe normally, but it’s becoming harder, and the machines beep louder. I can feel my chest tighten. I close my eyes and try to calm down, but I’m not sure it’s working.
“Mrs. Rosin, just relax,” the doctor says.
“Husband,” I manage to say. “I need Remington.” I struggle to get the words out, but the doctor listens, and a moment later Remington is in the room.
“I’m here.”
Instantly, I wrap my arms around his neck and sob.
“Talk to me,” he says in my ear. “We’ll fix it. Whatever it is.”
“I didn’t know. I didn’t know.” I repeat it over and over.
“Hey.” He pulls back and stares in my eyes, cupping my face. “What is it?”
Before I can even form a word, the doctor comes back in with a nurse and an ultrasound machine. Remington looks at it and then at me.
“I didn’t know,” I repeat.
“Are you pregnant? he asks softly.
“They say I am.” I sniff, and the nurse hands me some tissues. “I know I can’t get pregnant.”
“Mrs. Rosin, why do you think you can’t?” the doctor asks.
“I have scarring around my cervix.” I wipe my face.
“Well, let’s see and we’ll figure this out, okay?”
I nod and look at Remington. He isn’t saying anything, but is still holding my hand.
The doctor examines me first. He says there is some scarring, but nothing to hinder a successful pregnancy and delivery. Then he gets the ultrasound machine ready.
I’m shaking as he spreads the gel over my lower stomach. The wand sweeps over, and an image appears on the screen. My eyes land on the peanut shape in a circle of hazy black.
“Oh god,” I gasp.
“You look to be close to six weeks,” the doctor says.
I turn my head, and Remington is smiling. He leans up and kisses me. He’s not mad.
When the doctor finishes everything, he gives us a copy of the pictures. After he leaves, I stare at Remington.
“I’m sorry.” I don’t have anything else to say. “I didn’t know.” I guess repeating myself seems to be the thing to do right now.
“I’m not mad. There’s no reason for you to apologize. I’m happy. Shocked, but happy. This is good.” He kisses me over and over, bringing a calmness over me.
“I love you.” I’m in shock, too.
“Are you happy, Maxima?”
It’s a lot to process in a short amount of time, but I nod. “We’re going to have a baby.” Then, it hits me.
This is real.
I have a family.
I have a life.
Chapter Fourteen
Remington
The doctor gives us some prescriptions for Maxima and tells us to make sure she eats. When we leave, I call Mom, letting her know we’re coming home.
After Maxima fainted, and thank God, Dad had been standing next to her, or she would have cracked her head, I followed the ambulance to the hospital. Keaton took Mom, Dad, and Arabella home. I have never been so scared, not knowing what had happened to her.
Hearing she’s having my baby almost caused me to faint. But now I’m ready to extend my family. I can’t wait to tell everyone.
