Out of Control

by Mary Connealy

  “Seth didn’t hurt me. He frightened me. Maybe if I’d just gone up and talked to the man . . .” Julia shook her head. “But I didn’t like the way he . . . moved. He didn’t come walking up to me. He—he followed me. I heard footsteps. I stopped and the footsteps stopped. I called out. He didn’t answer. When I called out louder, he . . . There was something. It was frightening. I think he laughed. Except it echoed. Maybe he didn’t laugh. Maybe my voice was echoing back at me. Or maybe it . . . I thought . . . I don’t know. I put out my lantern and ran. Then I hit my head. I must have been unconscious, but I have no idea how long. I suppose I was so utterly silent, he couldn’t find me in the dark. When I woke up, I was so turned around. I went the way I thought was back toward the cavern opening, but the sun had set by then, so there was no light to guide me. That’s when I called out for help.”

  “When you screamed for help, you mean?”

  Julia nodded.

  “Oh, Julia, I’m so sorry you were frightened. I know how you love your hikes. You’ve never talked much about your explorations. I don’t quite understand your fascination with fossils and rocks. I was never much of a student. I’m not very smart.”

  Julia turned to Audra. “You are smart. You’ve let your father and my father tell you how stupid you are, but you love to read. I’m so sorry we don’t have any books other than the Bible and—”

  “The Bible’s enough.”

  “I was going to say other than the Bible and my books and scientific journals.” Julia smiled. “I know you love the Bible. But the journals, well, they’re not for everyone. But if you could just read more about the fossils, I know you’d love them as much as—”

  Audra’s hand came up to halt Julia from launching into her favorite topic. “Let’s don’t start that right now. Fossils hold no interest for me. I’m sorry, but when you start talking about them, it just gives my mind permission to wander and I start worrying about you and the caves, and I just don’t think you should be in them. And now this happens. Julia, what if something happened to you?”

  “You’d be fine. Now that the Kincaids are helping us, they’d take care of you.”

  “Stop!” Audra shouted so loud, the sleeping baby jumped. “I don’t worry about myself when you put yourself in danger. What kind of selfish person must you think I am? I’m talking about loving you. Yes, I’d feel terrible if I lost my daughter and sister and the best friend I’ve ever had. But I’m worried about you, not myself.”

  Audra launched herself into Julia’s arms. And Julia remembered anew why she’d never told Audra much about her fossil hunting. Audra tended to worry.

  Julia hugged her for a long time. When Audra finally eased up her stranglehold, Julia pulled back and put both hands firmly on Audra’s shoulders. Audra was ashen, but her eyes were direct. And strong. Julia realized that Audra was strong inside, where it really counted. And maybe, because Julia had it in mind to take all the physical burdens from Audra’s frail shoulders, she’d also taken all the emotional burdens and even the mental burdens. No wonder Audra thought she wasn’t smart. Everyone, including Julia, treated her like she was a fragile . . . What had Audra said? A fragile hothouse rose that would break off in a brisk wind. And that was a mistake. A mistake Julia was going to rectify. She needed Audra’s help.

  “Wait a minute.” Julia let go of Audra and stood straight, her spine stiffened, her spirits lifted. “Rafe’s been worried about the cavern being dangerous, but that was mainly because of Seth moving my rope so I couldn’t get out.”

  Julia turned to the cave opening right behind her. “With Seth found, we won’t need to post a guard. I can go in alone. Now that I don’t need a rope, I can always get out.” Julia thought of that oddly broken floor. How did one know if stone might crack underfoot? But Julia could take precautions for that somehow. Her heart lightened then as she realized it was safe to go in the cavern again.

  As horrible and mad as Seth Kincaid appeared to be, finding him and hopefully bringing him to his senses, or at the very least sending him off to the Kincaid Ranch, cleared the way for her to resume her explorations. Even better, Seth had run along the edges of that pit. If he could do it, she could do it, too. She’d found a back door to that beautiful cavern so she couldn’t be stranded down there.

  Suddenly she realized that she was having a very good day. She looked to see the men disappear beyond a stand of trees.

  Bathing that pig Seth, who Rafe seemed to think was going to be moving into their house—hah!—ought to take days. She could at least go back to the hole and see how Seth had gone across. She could take a lantern—

  A hand clamped on her wrist. “Don’t even think of going in there, Julia.”

  Julia realized she’d already started toward the cave.

  Audra’s grip tightened.

  And there was fear in her eyes.

  Julia patted her sweet little stepmother on the arm. “You’re right. Of course I won’t go in there.”

  She wanted to go in there something fierce.

  “Weren’t you supposed to start dinner?” Audra’s tone almost sounded like she was giving an order.

  That would be different.

  Julia found she didn’t like taking orders from Audra any more than she did from Rafe. But it didn’t matter. The stew needed attention. Something always needed her attention. Frustrated, Julia nodded hard, trying to shake the idea of exploring that cavern.

  Frustrated by the endless duties that kept her from exploring, she built the kindling into a fire and built her resentment right along with it.

  She’d make stew. Stupid boring stew. Feed this crowd while epic discoveries, only steps away, went unexplored.

  Bah! Stew.

  She pulled some jerky out of the supply bag and started shaving it into the still-cold water as flames grew and crackled and licked at the pot.

  The cave seemed to call to her. Taunt her. A look across the valley showed no sign of the men. They were probably going for a swim. Rafe could help his little itsy-bitsy baby brother take a bath. The fire needed stoking.

  Bah! Get more sticks.

  The need to explore the cave was like a maddening itch just beyond the reach of her fingertips. But she did her duty. Her duty to everyone while that cave held her duty to herself and God and to the whole known history of the world. She pared potatoes to add to the stew.

  Bah! Chop up potatoes.

  As she crouched by the fire dropping in the last of the potatoes, she peeked at Audra, who was bending over Maggie to adjust the blanket that covered her. Julia took a second to look once more at that cave entrance. Maybe if she got the stew going and Audra decided to take a nap and the men tarried with their—

  A movement inside the cave drew her full attention.

  Julia rose to her feet, staring. Had she seen something? It wasn’t like when Seth had poked his head out. This was more just black moving on black. Had a cloud gone over the sun? A glance at the clear sky told her no.

  Had a branch swayed in the wind to cast a shadow?

  Possible.

  She looked a long time and couldn’t see anything more. It was not possible there was anything or anyone else in the cave. Finding Seth proved that. If so much as a mountain lion lived in there, Seth would have been supper long ago.

  “What about my friend?”

  A chill raced up her back and raised goose bumps on her arms. Seth had put the thought in her head. That was why she’d seen something.

  If there was another person in there, Seth would have found him and scared him into running away . . . from his stench alone.

  But where was Seth’s horse? Why would he walk all this way? And from where? Rawhide? Colorado City? The nearest train was half a state away, and Seth didn’t appear to be a man who could afford the train fare. And why come here? If he knew about this cave entrance, he was the only Kincaid brother who did. Julia was positive this second entrance to the cavern the brothers had explored as children had been unknown to Rafe and Ethan
before today.

  It was not possible that there was someone else in there. But the Kincaids had been clearly horrified to think Seth had left her down there. They’d want to believe someone was there. Rafe would use it as an excuse to block her explorations forever.

  But three people in that cave all at once? Her, Seth, and someone else? It wasn’t exactly a busy street corner in Houston, after all. She was imagining things, and to speak of her strange imagination would cause nothing but trouble. But even though she’d imagined it, she wasn’t as eager to go back in the cave as she had been. A little spooked. Far more eager to have Rafe along for company. She was contented for now to stay out here and cook and care for Audra and Maggie.

  Then later . . . tomorrow . . . she’d nag Rafe into going into that cavern with her. He’d promised after all, when he’d been wheedling her into marrying him.

  She knew she’d have her hands full dealing with the stubborn man as it was. It would be impossible if she told him she’d been spooked.

  The big dummy.

  If maybe, just for a second, she pictured one of these uneducated troglodytes—bossy Rafe, Seth the lunatic, and that always stupidly grinning Ethan—choking on an undercooked chunk of potato, well, it was a sin sure enough.

  But a woman couldn’t stop her thoughts until she had them, now could she?

  She prayed for forgiveness and added an onion to the pot, hoping a savory stew would make up for her violent daydream.

  “Scrub up his pants, Ethan. He’ll just have to wear them wet.” Rafe stripped his brother naked and saw Seth’s scars, the old burns and some new ones that looked like he’d been peppered by a shotgun all across his back. Rafe almost eased up, but that wasn’t how Seth wanted things. He hated pity. So Rafe tossed him in the stream.

  Seth hollered, then came up sputtering. “Cold!”

  Rafe looked at Ethan. The two of them laughed, tore their clothes off and jumped in.

  Ethan screamed next. “It’s like swimming in melted snow.”

  Rafe only had a second to notice Ethan had thought to bring Seth’s pants with him before Ethan threw them in Rafe’s face.

  Rafe shouted and dove. Before Ethan could move, Rafe jerked him under.

  Ethan came up coughing. Rafe met his eyes, and the two of them turned to Seth, who was grinning . . . or at least he seemed to be under that beard.

  “You’re getting a shave and a haircut and the bath of your life, little brother,” Rafe said, advancing on Seth. Seth’s eyes flashed like wild blue lightning.

  The war was on. The three of them splashed and wrestled and laughed like loons for so long they started to get warm, almost, and clean, definitely. They’d wrestled like this all the time as boys. Sometimes a fist would land a bit hard or some buried resentment would come to the surface and the fight would get a little heated. But they’d worked it all out with their fighting and had gone back to being best friends afterward. Fighting with his brothers made having them together again more real.

  Once they were exhausted, and half-drowned, Rafe turned to Seth. “Now we use Julia’s bar of soap and give you a shave and a haircut.”

  Seth ran his hands through his slicked-back hair, then tugged on his beard. An uncertain look flickered across Seth’s face, and he looked down as if surprised to see he had a beard. “Sure.”

  “It’ll hurt,” Ethan said. “Better to wait until we can get a basin of hot water.”

  Rafe nodded.

  “Nope, let’s get it done. I’m not much of a one to worry about a little hurt.” Seth went under again, and when he came up he shook the water out of his hair, twisting his body so Rafe could see his back. His scarred-up ugly back.

  Rafe looked over at Ethan and saw that Ethan was noticing the new wounds. Rafe wondered if Seth still had nightmares.

  “My knife is razor sharp. I shave with it all the time. Let’s get rid of that fur.” Rafe turned away. He had his brothers again. His dearest wish. He knew they’d left because of him. Going into that cavern drove Ethan away. Being overprotective had driven Seth away.

  So he’d change.

  Except he’d promised Julia he’d go in that cave. And he had to protect Seth.

  But he’d do it better. Ethan didn’t have to know Rafe went into the cavern. Seth didn’t need to notice he was being protected.

  And what about Julia? He needed to take care of her. He didn’t even like to admit how badly he wanted her for his wife. How was he going to control her when she clearly loathed Seth? Well, he’d figure it all out. He’d make it work. He had to.

  He got his knife, checked the edge, and dove back in the water to get busy turning this wild man back into his little brother.

  CHAPTER

  17

  Ethan and Rafe had left with a furiously mad, subhuman, cave-dwelling skunk man and returned with a very handsome, wounded boy barely out of his teens.

  Audra’s ladle stopped in midstir. She couldn’t take her eyes off Seth. He was gorgeous, and he looked so sweet and vulnerable. He was close in height to his brothers, and his hair was dark and cut raggedly short. His bone-white cheeks were raw and nicked from being shaved and having no sun on them, probably for years. And his eyes were a shining blue that seemed more alive than any eyes Audra had ever seen.

  She rose from where she crouched by the fire, and Rafe hurried over to balance her. She jerked her elbow out of his hand. “I can stand up myself.”

  Rafe rolled his eyes.

  Audra winced. “I’m sorry. Thank you. I’ve just . . .” Her eyes cut to Seth and Ethan, both of them listening to every word. Well, fine, they could hear what she had to say. “When I was so scared about Julia being missing and Wendell was being so ugly about it, I . . . I made a promise to myself to stand on my own.”

  “From a campfire?” Ethan asked. The idiot.

  “Who’s Wendell?” Seth rubbed his clean-shaven face. Poor confused baby.

  Julia had wandered off muttering, Maggie strapped on her back, to gather more sticks. So Audra had the undivided attention of all three men. When Julia was around, none of them looked at her except to relieve her of any burden that came her way. All the help annoyed her, but the not being noticed wasn’t so bad.

  “I’m recently widowed from Wendell Gilliland.”

  Seth’s eyes went to her very round belly. She was tempted to whack him on the head with her ladle. “He always ran my life and he did a poor job of it. Right before he fell sick, I told him I wasn’t going to live by his dictates anymore. Apparently the shock was too much and he died.”

  Ethan laughed. Rafe rolled his eyes but had a smile on his face. Seth looked a little scared.

  “I’ve been trying to do things for myself. You’ve been nothing but kind, but I can’t seem to stop being annoyed that everyone treats me like I’m fragile and stupid.”

  “No one said you’re stupid, Audra,” Ethan said, in a tone that clearly called her stupid.

  “Anyway, I apologize. Rafe, I appreciate you helping me stand. Seth, you look really nice. Much better, though the soaking wet pants can’t be comfortable.”

  Seth had on the broadcloth shirt Rafe had been wearing. Rafe was wearing only an undershirt. Audra had to avert her eyes from the pants. Seth’s legs shined through in several spots. But that couldn’t be helped right now.

  “The stew is done. Why don’t you come and get it?” She pointed at the pile of tin plates and spoons.

  “No, let me serve the food to you,” Rafe said, then reached for the ladle.

  A short tug of war ensued, but Rafe wouldn’t be denied. Audra knew she was being rude, so she let him dish her up a plate of stew. Then Rafe picked up a plate and handed it to Seth. “Eat up, kid.”

  They had enough tin plates now because Ethan had brought some. Julia came back with more sticks.

  Rafe got up to fill a plate for Julia. She took it and turned to sit down but then stopped and stared at Seth. Finally she shook her head and sat beside Audra. “Well, you look a lot less like a madma
n. We’ll see how you act.”

  “We have to go back to the cabin now.” Rafe stood in front of them, his arms crossed, his face grave. He addressed them as if they were schoolchildren. “We’ll leave our exploring for another day. Seth needs to change clothes and get some rest and a few days of good food in him.”

  “Why don’t you and Seth go on back, Rafe,” Julia said sweetly. Too sweetly.

  Audra braced herself for the clash of the tyrants.

  “Ethan can stay here with me and Audra and Maggie. I’d like to further explore that cave.”

  Three voices sounded at once.

  “No!” Rafe cut her words off with a slash of his hand.

  “No!” Ethan shouted. Maggie jumped.

  “No!” Audra set her mostly empty plate aside. She’d had a bellyful of everything today.

  “I’d like to explore with you,” Seth offered.

  “Please don’t go back in that cave.” Audra dreaded the very thought.

  “I have to,” Julia said. She was still eating, but she was chewing now with enough energy to wear her teeth down.

  Seth turned to look at the black cave opening. “It’s like going home.” He visibly gathered himself, and Audra’s hand shot out to grab him. He wasn’t nearly so disgusting now; she would have had a hard time even touching him before.

  “Finish your food. Then we’re going to my cabin.” Audra was watching carefully, and she saw Seth turn his eyes away from that cavern to meet hers.

  She saw loneliness. Fear—wild fear. And unfortunately just a whisper of madness. Could a madman regain his sanity? Audra prayed he could. He turned back to stare into that cave, and Audra followed the direction of his gaze and thought she saw . . . something. No, nothing. She wasn’t sure.

  A clump of aspen stood between them and the cavern. She’d seen a shadow shift—that was all it had been. Shaking her head, she turned back to Seth. Her heart turned over and she softened her grip but didn’t let go.