by Drew Sera
“Her eyes, Col.”
I held my hand over my stomach as I slowly flipped through the several pictures from today. My baby was scared. Matt took the phone from my hands and flipped back to some of the earliest pictures of the abduction.
“See her eyes and expressions?” He paused to give me a few moments as he slowly swiped my phone to bring up the next stomach turning image. “Yes, she’s scared but she has a lot of fight and defiance in these expressions.” Matt paused again as we went through all the images that will forever be stored in my memory. We finally got to the ones from the violet wand incident to today. “See the difference, Col?”
Jesus fucking Christ, her light was out. I knew what he meant, but I refused to say it out loud. I knew she was shutting down. Paul had her where he wanted her mentally. I quickly wiped the tears that fell on the table with my sleeve and took a deep breath. I closed my eyes to regain some composure and hoped the emotions would have been under better control when I opened my eyes, only they were much worse. A terrible sounding sob broke from my chest, and I let the tears fall. Matt reached over and put his hand on my shoulder and shook me a little.
“She’s so scared, Matt.”
“She’s a tough woman, Col. But yeah, she is scared.”
“Do you think she’s in shock?”
I waited anxiously for his opinion on the matter even though I was sure I already knew it. His slow nod confirmed what I knew. On shaking legs I stood and paced around the kitchen.
“What does he want, and why won’t he just fucking tell me? What the fuck is it? Money? His membership back?”
Matt shook his head and said he didn’t know what Paul wanted. I knew this, too. I looked out on the patio at Anthony pacing around the patio with his hand over his stomach. This is killing him, too.
And now the worry of Anthony possibly going missing was weighing on me.
After dinner I moped around in the playroom. I picked up the case that held our flowers that were twisted and tied together from our collaring ceremony and sat down on the leather couch. I don’t know what I’m going to do if she doesn’t come home.
A knock came on the door to the playroom and I looked over in the direction of the open door. Blake stood there with a bothered expression on his face.
“May I come in?” I nodded and motioned to the empty seat next to me. I had no energy left to correct my posture and stayed slouched on the couch holding the case with our flowers.
Blake sat down and looked at the flowers from the collaring ceremony. I had a feeling he was in a talkative mood, so I let him run with it.
“It was a beautiful ceremony the three of you had. That girl loves you and Anthony so much.” I stared at the white rose that was nestled between the two red roses. “I always worried that Anthony would never find what he was looking for. It was clear to me when he brought her to your party in October that he felt something for her. He was too stubborn to believe it then.” I remained silent and let Blake get out what he needed to but felt my stomach give out when he handed me his phone. “These are the texts that I’ve received since last night.” I sat up straight and set the case with the flowers down and focused on the cell phone.
702-555-2983: You took him from me once.
702-555-1870: You’ve held him back. I could have mentored and guided him to be a great Dominant.
702-555-6558: I will send you pictures and sound bites as I have my way with him.
“Shit, Blake.” I said and handed him back the phone.
“Have you received anything else from Paul?”
I pulled my phone out and opened up several for Blake to see.
702-555-7651: I’m sure you’ll be able to find a replacement co-topping partner. Despite what everyone else thinks, there isn’t anything special about Graves.
702-555-3233: I’ll take good care of him and her. Then you can go back to focusing on yourself, you selfish fuck.
Blake handed me back the phone and shook his head. I told Blake that I’m worried that somehow Paul might be able to get to Anthony. It actually scares the shit out of me. He took our girl and now he’s on the warpath to take more from me.
“Has Anthony seen those texts, Colin?”
“He has. I’m not about to hide things like that from him. He needs to know. Besides, I’m not going to do anything that might cause him to run. If he runs, I can’t keep my eye on him.”
46
Tuesday, January 21st
Sydney
He killed that woman. I’ve come to realize that there is a good chance that I’m going to die here. Every time I think about not being able to see Colin or Anthony again, I feel sick to my stomach. I get the dry heaves but for the most part, there’s nothing to it. But Anthony was here and didn’t want to see me. Of course that’s just what Paul is saying. Anthony would want to see me. I know he would.
My feet are cold. Actually, all of me is cold. Last night Paul gave me a blanket, but I don’t know why he did it. He hasn’t been the most caring of people I’ve been around. Was the blanket supposed to comfort me or just another one of his sick games? He took the blanket away this morning. He stalked in, pulled the blanket off me, dropped a piece of toast on the ground, and set a foam cup with water in next to my legs. I didn’t move. I didn’t speak, but my heart was pounding. Was this going to be the day he kills me?
I can’t get those bulging eyes of that woman out of my head or the smell. I tried to think of when he killed her. Was it one of the times he had me knocked out? I don’t even know what day it is. I decided the knocking noises the other night were her feet, swaying into the door from inside the closet.
I sat up and leaned against the wall and stared at the piece of toast. I’m a prisoner on death row. I’m kept in basically a cell, chained to a wall. I was going to die here.
I tried reaching for the cup of water that was many hours old and my foot accidentally knocked it over. My water was gone. I stared at my spilled water and began crying. Through my tears I could hear Anthony’s voice telling me not to cry.
“Sunshine, no tears. I love you.”
“I love you too, Anthony. I miss you and Colin.” I wiped my tears and took a deep breath.
I wonder if that girl had been here long. Had she been part of his game? Was he a serial abductor?
When I’d hear the noises, I thought maybe it was Anthony from another room. If I could just see him one more time. I love him and Colin. I wish I could be home, in bed, snuggled up to them.
My stomach won’t stop hurting. My back hurts from the flogger and the wand, but leaning against the cold cement wall kind of has a soothing effect.
I felt like I was going to throw up, or at least go through the physical motions of getting sick. The smell was bad.
Shit! Footsteps! No. Please no. I pulled my feet and legs closer to me, trying to cover or shield my body, knowing it’s not going to matter.
He stood in front of me and was looking at me. I could feel his eyes on me. I stared at his shoes. I tried to keep my eyes focused on something other than his face. He crouched down and picked up the foam cup. I’m sure he noticed the small puddle of water that remained.
I covered my ears with my hands. I was prepared for a slap or something like that, but it didn’t come. He left the room and when he returned, he crouched back down in front of me. He was too quiet. I risked it and raised my head slightly. The foam cup filled my vision. Was he offering it to me? I was thirsty, I think.
“Drink.”
I guzzled it all. The cool water felt heavenly for my dry throat. But as quickly the water went down, it came back up. I think I faintly heard him laugh before my eyes closed.
47
Tuesday, January 21st
Anthony
The plan for today was to go to the office for a while. Sitting around the house was becoming a recipe for depression. Colin was really messed up over the texts he was getting from Paul about me. Fuck that. I wasn’t afraid. I was angry over the fact the Paul
was getting under Colin’s skin about me on top of his worries concerning Sydney.
I actually finished getting ready for work before him for once and went to Sydney’s room until Colin was ready. I picked up what I had claimed days ago as my notebook and flipped to a blank page.
Paul you mutherfuckin bastard
you have to TAKE everything don’t you?
no fucking understanding that submission is a gift
something to be earned, not stolen like a thief in the night
you aren’t a Dom or a Master
you are nothing…
I was so angry and consumed in writing that I hadn’t heard Colin calling my name, which turned out to be a huge mistake on my part. I heard Colin’s panicked voice carrying through the house and I yelled out that I was in Sydney’s room. His shoes were on the wood steps, growing louder, taking two at a time before he appeared in the doorframe of her room.
While tucking the notebook inside my suit jacket, I stood meeting Colin’s gaze. His eyes were red, and he was clearly out of breath.
“Dammit, Anthony.”
He stood there with a frown on his face, hands on hips, staring at me. He was angry, and I tried to smooth it over, but he’s just overly emotionally right now.
“Sorry…I…” He wouldn’t let me finish and it pissed me off.
“Fucking answer me when I’m calling your name. I went downstairs, which is where I thought you were, only to find an empty kitchen. I called your name…nothing. I went to the den…nothing, still calling your name. I even went into that fucking guest room where you hide out when shit gets rough…nothing. No fucking response from you. But here you are, just hanging the fuck out in her fucking room…”
My turn to cut him the fuck off before he says something he will regret. I know it’s stress talking and guiding his words, but he needs to calm down. I moved around Sydney’s coffee table with the Batman and Robin frames and the green M&M’s container.
“Careful, Colin. I apologized to you for not hearing you.”
I’ll admit that I was surprised when he crossed the room towards me, steam coming out of his ears and his footsteps leaving smoldering ashes. He needed to tread carefully because I was equally full of lava.
“Pay the fuck attention to what is going on around you, Anthony!”
I held my arm out in front of me firmly so when his chest hit it, he came to a stop. His chest was heaving and he was breathing heavy. He shoved my arm away but didn’t come closer.
“I was right here, Colin. I already apologized. What do you want? Blood?”
“I’m glad you find it hilarious. You’re not the one getting text threats from our girl’s abductor. You are a target, and I’m on pins and needles while you’re hanging out fucking around in her room.”
“Fuck! Jesus, Colin! I’m so fucking sorry! Maybe we can stop at a vet’s office on the way to work and you can have me micro chipped.”
He only stared at me and his expression of rage softened a little. I wanted this conversation and negative vibe out of Sydney’s happy room. I sidestepped Colin and walked out of her room. I wasn’t worried about Colin slugging me as I walked by him. Again, I was surprised by his actions because he was on my heels spitting out fireballs at me, trying to get a reaction or to get me to argue with him. And I wasn’t going to do it. I know he’s stressed and doesn’t mean it.
“What were you doing in there anyhow?” he asked while following behind me. I turned to head down the stairs, but he grabbed my bicep and I spun around to face him. He looked like he was on fire. He had built up anger that I could feel it radiating off of him. “Why won’t you answer me?”
“I wanted to be closer to her! That room smells like the vanilla stuff she wears, especially the throw that she has on the loveseat. I miss her, just like you do. I like sitting in there. I feel close to her in there.”
Colin shut his eyes, and when he opened them he looked like he was about to cry and his apologies began pouring out.
“I’m sorry, Anth.” He pressed the palms of his hands over his eyes and leaned against the banister.
“Colin, you have to drop something, man. You can’t hold it all up. Stop worrying about me.”
Wrong thing to say. I meant it to comfort him, but it had the opposite effect. He frowned, grabbed my bicep again and led me down the hallway to our room and took me over to the dresser where a picture of the three of us sat in a silver frame. He picked it up and thrust it into my hands.
“Guess what, Anthony? It doesn’t work that way.” He reached over the frame and pointed to Sydney and I. “Love doesn’t work that way. I don’t get to wave a wand and say I won’t worry. Sydney and you mean the world to me.”
I set the frame down gently and was at a loss for words. I fucking suck at this love and relationship stuff. I stared at the ground for a few minutes before I risked looking at him.
“I’m sorry, Col.”
Colin’s stance relaxed some and he apologized to me for flying off the handle at me when he couldn’t find me. I told him that I would do a better job at letting him know where I’ll be so he won’t panic.
When we did get to the office, I holed myself up behind my door for a while. I was unsettled over the situation with Colin this morning. I pulled out the little notebook and let it sit on my desk. I opened up the bag of M&M’s and automatically sorted out the green ones and set them to the side.
48
Tuesday, January 21st
Colin
Anthony and I made it to the office this morning, but it was nothing short of a miracle that we did. I had a meltdown this morning when I got to the kitchen, expecting him to be there, but found it empty. Turns out he was just sitting in Sydney’s room to be a little closer to her. I went at him like a raging lunatic. Paul continued sending disturbing texts about Anthony and is fucking with my head. Still, it makes me nervous. I’m not putting anything past him.
I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me as I walked by the reception area where my baby used to sit. My mood was shitty and I had my own issues paying attention and concentrating during my staff meeting. No one called me on it, but I’m sure everyone knew it.
I spent some time talking to Mitch about the Cheng Hotel deal. He assured me everything was going well and on schedule. Thankfully I didn’t have any worries at work. Mitch had held the fort down. James was in my office too and was slowly filling me in on other projects and contracts.
My cell phone vibrated on my desk. I glanced down and saw it was a number I didn’t recognize. I swallowed hard. I knew what was coming.
702-555-7481: Have you heard her scream while being whipped? It’s the most beautiful sound, next to her begging for me to stop. Here, have a listen.
My hand shook as I read the text. I hadn’t heard Mitch and James ask if I was okay again.
“Anthony,” is all I managed to say. “Can you get Anthony? Please.”
I think Mitch stayed in the office while James went to find Anthony. I looked at my watch and knew that Anthony was in a financials meeting right now. Fuck, I hadn’t meant for him to be pulled out of a meeting.
“Colin, can I get you anything? Water? Just tell me how I can help,” Mitch sounded pained.
“I need to talk to Anthony for a few minutes,” I said while I was trying to keep it together in front of Mitch.
I looked outside my office door and saw Anthony and James coming my way. My spinning head slowed when Anthony walked into my office. He just looked at me while I held the phone.
“Col,” It was all he said, and I had to pull all the strength that I had together in order to push down my tears that were threatening. I heard him say something to Mitch and James and heard the door shut. I stood up and planned on going to the window to lean on it, but the moment I stood up I felt weak in the legs and leaned over my desk.
“Sit down, Col. Give me the phone.”
I wasn’t watching the video that played out on my screen, but I heard it. Hearing it was en
ough and then I heard Anthony make a noise and then swear. When her screaming stopped filling my office, I put my head down on the desk. This was slowly killing Anthony and I. And probably Sydney.
I glanced over at him and saw that he was looking at the ground with his hands on his hips. His face was red and he picked up the orange foam ball and hurled it across the room, swore again and began pacing.
“Anth,” I looked up weakly at him and was shaking my head. I needed to go home.
“I know, Col.” He walked over behind my desk and pulled me out of my chair and into a hug. “I know, man. Come on. Let’s go home.”
Worked proved to be too much for me right now. I walked to the elevator with Anthony, oblivious to anything going on around me. I kept my eyes on the ground as I waited to hear the ding. Mitch got into the elevator with us, and he spoke to Anthony about him making sure I was taken care of. I wanted to tell Mitch that Anthony was just as upset as I was because Sydney was his girl, too. But I didn’t. I had to keep that quiet. They quickly and quietly talked business, and I tuned it all out.
As we drove home, I tried to come to terms with what the fuck I was going to do if Sydney never came back. Tears threatened again, but I kept them at bay for a while.
When we got home, Anthony and I sat at the breakfast bar, motionless. I couldn’t imagine not having Sydney in my life. But the fact was that it was a possibility.
“What are you thinking, Col? Don’t sugar coat it either. I can tell something’s going on in that head.”
