In the Stars

by Stacia Deutsch

  “I thought you were going to the movies tonight?” I ask, after Adam has returned my “Hi” with an awkward one of his own.

  “I did,” he tells me. He’d told me he was going with some guys from the swim team. Unfortunately, I didn’t ask who. “Afterward, Gavin and I went out for a drink.”

  Gavin, who is leaning very heavily on Adam, bends toward me. He reeks of beer and his eyes can’t seem to focus on me. “I made us fake IDs,” he brags. “Worked like a charm.” His eyes finally meet mine, though just for an instant while he adds, “I’ll make you one too, if you want, Sylvie.”

  “No thanks,” I tell him, stepping back out of the path of his breath.

  Shifting his feet to gain better balance, Adam straightens Gavin up, glances at Tyler, then asks me, “I thought you were staying home tonight.”

  “I—” I don’t know what to say. Even coming out of a bar, where he’s been drinking on a fake ID, Adam is still more honorable than I will ever be. At least he went to the movie first, just like he said he was going to. I—well—I knew I was going out when I told him I wasn’t. I completely lied to him.

  “I—” I begin again only to be cut short by Gavin who has peeled himself off Adam and is now wobbling toward me.

  “Sharing!” Gavin slurs as he grabs onto my shoulders for support. “Swim team is all about sharing, right Adam?”

  “Sure, Gavin,” Adam agrees as he tries to pull Gavin off me. “Whatever you say,” Adam is placating Gavin while coaxing him to let me go.

  “We share towels, goggles, and now,” Gavin grabs me more fully, hanging on with his arms practically circling my neck, “let’s share Sylvie.” It happens so fast, I don’t have time to duck. Gavin slams his lips against mine.

  I’m not scared. Really. I’m just grossed out.

  I don’t for one second think Gavin is going to rape me right here on the street or anything like that. I believe with all my heart that Gavin’s a bully, not a criminal. With one gross kiss, he’s letting Adam know that no matter how good a swimmer Adam might be or how popular Adam is around school, Gavin’s still the boss. And I’m an unfortunate pawn in his superiority game.

  Disgust propels my struggle to break free, but Gavin’s an athlete and I’m a science geek, and a girl. He easily overpowers me. Then again, he’s drunk and I’m not, so I bring up my knee, slamming it into his crotch as hard as I can.

  “Oof.” Gavin instinctively bends over to protect himself from further assault and in doing so, stumbles. Trying to regain his footing, he grabs me harder and the two of us tumble to the ground.

  I hear Tyler shout. And Adam, too, but I can’t make out what they are saying.

  The whole thing lasts no more than a few seconds, but a few seconds with Gavin slobbering on top of me seems like a lifetime. If we’re rating kisses, his don’t even approach human. I’m completely repulsed.

  Next thing I know, Adam’s pulled Gavin away. And Tyler’s helping me up.

  “Are you okay?” Tyler asks as I spit onto the sidewalk and then wipe my mouth with the back of my hand.

  I tell him I’m fine. “Do all drunk guys slobber like that? Or is it just Gavin?” I ask, trying to lighten the moment and assure Tyler that I’m okay at the same time.

  He gives a small laugh, saying, “I can’t say as I’ve ever kissed a drunk guy before, so I really wouldn’t know.” And with a grin, he adds, “And I’m not planning to plant a big, juicy one on Gavin anytime soon.”

  Tyler puts his arm around me protectively and gives me a reassuring squeeze.

  “I’m so sorry, Sylvie,” Adam tells me as he props Gavin back up, leaning him heavily against his side. “Gavin talks about ‘sharing’ at all the swim team meetings; I had no idea you were part of what he meant.”

  From the night at Gavin’s party, I knew exactly what Gavin had in mind. I just never expected Gavin to jump me on the street, or anywhere else for that matter. But I don’t tell Adam that. I simply accept his apology with a nod.

  “He’s so drunk, he won’t remember this tomorrow.” Adam is clearly taken aback by his friend’s behavior. “I’m Gavin’s designated driver tonight. Even if he is acting like a jerk, I promised I’d make sure he got home safely.” Always the gentleman, that’s my Adam.

  “I’ll call you in a little while.” Adam has an indescribable expression on his face. “I’m sorry, Sylvie,” he repeats. And with that, Adam starts to head off, dragging Gavin away from us.

  “Hey Adam, you’re not the one who needs to apologize,” Tyler calls to Adam’s back.

  Adam turns, repositioning Gavin, who’s teetering on the edge of consciousness.

  “What?” Adam stares at Tyler with a surprised look on his face. “What’d you say?”

  “You don’t have anything to apologize for,” Tyler says firmly, pointing at Gavin. “But Gavin does.”

  Recognizing his own name, Gavin straightens up on his own legs. Adam isn’t letting him go, but Gavin has returned to the land of the lucid. At least for a moment.

  Gavin spurts out, “I’m not apologi—” But then, something stops him midspeech. He looks up and for the first time seems to notice Tyler’s presence.

  Cherise tells me later it apparently wasn’t a phone call from Cherise’s father that stopped Gavin’s harassment in fourth grade. It was a “meeting” between Gavin and Tyler in the boy’s bathroom after school that did it. I didn’t notice that Gavin took a few “sick” days before the end of the term that year. I do, however, vaguely recall Tyler having a long scratch under his eye, but I’m pretty sure Cherise told me it was from flipping off his skateboard (Tyler was a skatehead in elementary school).

  Whatever transpired between Tyler and Gavin that day, I’ll never know for sure. But by the time spring term began, Gavin had found new prey. He never bothered Cherise again.

  And, I have to say, judging by the look that Tyler is currently giving Gavin, Gavin won’t be bugging me again either.

  “Sorry, Sylvie,” Gavin mutters, diverting his eyes, staring down at his feet.

  Tyler clears his throat.

  Gavin raises his drunk eyes up to my sober ones and repeats, “Sorry.”

  At that, Tyler smiles and says to Adam, “Now, you can take him home.”

  Adam simply agrees, then says to me, “I’ll call you in a few.”

  “Okay,” I reply. I’ll be glad for the conversation. Even with all that’s happened tonight, I still feel the need to explain why I wasn’t at home, like I said I would be. I suppose I’ll tell Adam the basic truth: I was invited to hear Tyler’s band play.

  Tyler and I walk the rest of the way home together, in silence.

  Imagine my surprise to find Madame Jakarta sitting on the front steps. She’s wearing a full black skirt, a lavender wrap sweater and, would you believe it, panty hose. Her long dark hair is pulled back in a barrette. It’s a bit like when I saw her that one time in the grocery store, wearing jeans. I feel thrown off by her appearance. I think I’m more comfortable when my psychic advisor wears a muumuu and turban.

  Madame Jakarta stands as Tyler and I approach. She greets us each by name, then turns to me. She isn’t looking at Tyler at all. All her energy is focused in my direction.

  “I see you’ve finally begun your quest,” Madame Jakarta says with a smile. Then, with a toss of her head and a swish of her skirt, she disappears around the building and vanishes into the shadows.

  “Quest? What quest?” I call after her retreating figure. Then I remember that she mentioned a quest the day she did my palm reading.

  I suppose I really have been paying attention all along.

  Twenty

  You are driving at full throttle. Be cautious and pace yourself.

  www.astrology4stars.com

  It’s been an odd few days.

  Tyler has been strangely absent since Saturday night. I try to tell myself that I don’t care where he is or what he’s up to, but after two days of going to lunch and the Corner Café without him shadowing Che
rise, my curiosity takes over and I finally ask Cherise where he’s been.

  “He’s rehearsing,” Cherise tells me. “Every free second he gets, he’s working on the music for the band’s Saturday-night gig.” That explains it. Mostly. What’s really weird is that I haven’t seen him in the hall at school. It seems like he might be avoiding me. Nah. I’m just overthinking things once again. It’s like Cherise says, he’s busy with the band.

  Adam, on the other hand, has been overwhelmingly present. That night on the phone, Adam told me that he wouldn’t be hanging out with Gavin anymore. I said that I honestly didn’t care if he did. After seeing the expression on Gavin’s face when Tyler made him apologize to me, there’s no way Gavin will try “sharing” with Adam ever again.

  At lunch period, Adam continues to pop over to the swim table, but now he doesn’t linger there. And though Gavin still scoots over to make room for him, Adam always sits at the other end of the table.

  All things considered, Wednesday’s shaping up to be a really great day. I got an A on an English Lit paper. Another A on a pop quiz in psych. After school, Laila Halaby, head cook at the Corner Café, was trying a new raspberry pie recipe, so Cherise and I got a free taste test. What could be better than that?

  Only one thing … and it’s waiting for me in my mailbox when I get home from work: A pale white envelope with the Yale crest embossed in the upper-left-hand corner.

  I see the familiar Hebrew lettering, drawn on the pages of an open book. I’ve looked at this crest a thousand times. Researched its meaning. If you’re going to Yale, you gotta know what the historic crest says. The Hebrew says, “In Light and Truth.” Around it is the Latin, Lux et Veritas, meaning the same thing. There couldn’t be anything be better than going to a school whose motto is “In Light and Truth.” Could there?

  I hold that envelope as if it contains the most delicate jewel, gingerly carrying it into the apartment and setting it on the kitchen table. I stare at the Yale crest for a full minute, heart racing, before finally mustering the courage to slip my finger under one corner of the sealed flap.

  I try my best to be slow and deliberate about ripping the envelope. But I can’t. My heart’s pounding in my head and there are goose bumps popping out all over my arms. When I can’t take it anymore, I tear at the envelope like a lion eating a gazelle. Chunks of the envelope fall to the floor. It’s then that I slow down. I lift the letter toward the light, peeking through the vellum to see if I can read the word “accepted” or “rejected.”

  The paper’s too thick to read through. I’m going to have to unfold the letter.

  So, very cautiously, with shaking hands, I do.

  Application accepted.

  My future has arrived.

  I got the scholarship! I got it! Wahoo!

  I immediately call my father at the tux shop. He was finishing up the day’s accounting when I cut out to go home. He answers the shop line and we have a quick, “I got it!” “Congratulations,” conversation. He’ll be home in an hour and we’ll have dinner then. Unlike other parents who might suggest going out to celebrate, he tells me there’s chicken that needs defrosting. I hang up, certain that he’s proud, but also wishing he could say it out loud. Just this once.

  Dinner’s a quiet affair, like always. After I spoke to my father, I called Cherise with the news. We were finishing up dinner when she came by with a gift. Garnet earrings. I thought it was an odd present until she explained that garnet was the state mineral of Connecticut. And since Yale is in Connecticut … she thought it was appropriate. I tell her that the earrings are a wonderful gift and immediately put them on.

  A little homework after dinner, then I start to sew. Adam said he’d stop by after a mandatory swim team meeting. It seems that there’s a heated discussion about switching the swimsuit colors to red and blue instead of blue and red. It’s become a huge deal and there’s a meeting tonight to vote on the matter.

  I sit at the sewing machine putting the finishing touches on Tanisha’s gown.

  I completed Jennifer’s nymph outfit last night and gave it to her at school this morning. I’ll give Tanisha hers first thing tomorrow. There’s still a lot to do on my Cinderella costume, but after tonight, I’ll have two nights and most of Saturday to get it done. I might be able to squeeze in a bit of sewing if things are uncharacteristically quiet at the tuxedo shop Saturday morning. I can’t believe that prom is only three days away! Where did the time go?

  I think back to those few days when I tried to adhere to a tight schedule and smile to myself. Life can certainly get in the way of even the best-formulated plans. Over the past month, my life has taken turns I never could have imagined. And yet, I’m still the same old Sylvie. Organized, neurotic, controlling, and completely focused on academics. Yep, that’s me.

  I add some golden lace to the bottom of Tanisha’s dress, then reconsidering, remove the lace and tack it to the sleeves instead. I have some seed pearls left over from that wedding dress we have displayed in the tux shop window. I move Tanisha’s dress to the sewing table and glue the beads randomly along the bottom of the velvet dress where the lace was meant to be. I hope that Tanisha doesn’t mind the change, but she didn’t mind the first time, when I added the slit to her underdress.

  Speaking of the underdress, it needs to be hemmed. Hemming is what I do best.

  I am so deeply engrossed in sewing that I don’t hear the doorbell when it rings. Before I know it, Adam is in my room, standing behind me. He doesn’t kiss me, but he’s close enough that I feel his breath on the back of my neck. “Your dad let me in,” he tells me. “Get your stuff. We don’t want to be late.”

  “Late? For what?”

  He steps back from me, giving me room to get up from my chair and face him.

  “Astronomy club,” Adam replies. “Hurry up.”

  “Huh?” My jaw is hanging slack. “What are you talking about?”

  Adam looks at me like I have missed something huge. “Didn’t you get the e-mail?”

  I stare at him blankly. I have no idea what he’s talking about.

  “Mrs. Kelsow called an astronomy club meeting tonight,” Adam explains. “There’s going to be a partial lunar eclipse. She didn’t mention it at the last club meeting because it was supposed to be too cloudy to see, but the winds picked up and pushed the clouds away. Viewing should be awesome.” He asks me where my telescope bag is and then says, “We better hurry. We don’t want to miss it.”

  A partial lunar eclipse! Part of the moon is about to pass through the Earth’s umbral shadow. I should have known an eclipse was coming. I usually keep track of these things. Where’s my head lately? I can’t believe I nearly missed seeing an eclipse. I’ve been so busy sewing that I failed to check my e-mail! You have to love that Adam is watching out for me.

  Adam slips my telescope bag over his shoulder and says, “Let’s get out of here.”

  I need shoes. My Keds are under the sewing table. I reach down to pick them up and tip over the bottle of glue. It’s then I realize that I only put seed pearls on the front part of Tanisha’s gown. In order to go out tonight, I’d have to put off finishing her dress for a day. And if I do that, I’ll never have enough time to complete my own costume before the prom.

  But a partial lunar eclipse! They only happen a couple of times a year.

  I snatch up my shoes and sit down at my desk to put them on. One shoe on. One off, when the realization hits me like an anvil to the head. I drop my shoe. It clunks to the floor.

  “I can’t go.” I tell Adam about Tanisha’s dress and how I’ve got to finish it tonight. Being Adam, he offers to help. He’s willing to skip the eclipse to glue beads onto the dress with me.

  I can see he’s just trying to be nice. It’s obvious he’d rather go to astronomy club. With or without me.

  “Go on,” I tell him. “You should take advantage of the opportunity. I’ll come next time,” I say, though something inside me is wondering where each of us will be the next time
an eclipse happens.

  Adam sets down my telescope. “We’ll catch up tomorrow,” he says as he leaves the apartment.

  I take up a handful of seed pearls and begin laying them out on the dress material. I’m precise in their positioning. The vision of where they should go is as clear as the night sky over Cincinnati.

  A sense of pride washes over me as I begin to glue down them down. There are hours of work stretching before me, but in the back of my mind, I can see the finished costume. It’ll be beautiful. This is a completely different kind of pride than when I got the news of the Yale scholarship.…

  The scholarship! I can’t believe I haven’t told Adam that I got it. He’s been such an integral part of my focused determination over the past month. He’s quizzed me and coached me and helped me keep my grades up. Adam has shown me that it is possible to have a boyfriend and pursue my dreams at the same time.

  And here I didn’t think to phone him after I opened the letter, and the scholarship never crossed my mind while he was in my room.

  I think about why as I place two more beads on Tanisha’s dress. The reason comes to me in a blinding flash and I shove the lid down on the glue. I’ll finish Tanisha’s costume tomorrow night. Tonight, I’m going to see the eclipse.

  I snatch up my telescope bag and head out. Adam’s at the park. It would be the perfect time to tell him about Yale. But I’m not going to the park.

  I’m going up instead. Up to the roof.

  I’m hoping I won’t be alone.

  Twenty-one

  Ditch your inhibitions. It’s time for a change.

  www.astrology4stars.com

  I open the door and step outside. I sniff the air, hoping to smell wood and earth, but no, the roof is dark and deserted.

  Examining the sky with my naked eye, I search for signs of the eclipse, then stop myself. Tonight, I’m not going to be an astronomer. This is not an academic encounter with outer space. No, this is me standing on that middle ground between astrology and astronomy. I’m looking up in awe to witness the sun and the moon intersect. No thoughts about why or how it happens. I’m enjoying the view. That’s all. That’s enough.