“You’ve met her?”
“Of course. A few times. Thanks to Jessica M there was actually a Team Casey before a Team Luke.”
“Your ego never ceases to amaze me.”
“Ego! These are just facts, babe. Get used to it. Wait…are you jealous?”
I realize then that I’m still smiling. I’ve been grinning like an idiot this entire conversation, and my jaw is starting to hurt. I try to straighten it, but can’t. Oh well.
“Maybe. Do you think Luke would be jealous if I joined? Am I allowed to join more than one team?”
“Kinda defeats the purpose of picking a team don’t you think?”
“Oh? And what exactly is the purpose of picking a ‘team’?”
“Hmm you know I’ve never thought about it. …pre and post-show rioting?”
“haha. Casey fans vs. Luke fans?”
“Something like that.”
“Are there Team Eli and Team Sweeny fans too?”
“Yeah, but not as many. They’d get clobbered in a riot.”
“OMG I love this song. I didn’t even know this was yours!”
“Which one?”
“All Hands. Don’t hate me but I actually thought this was a Cartwright song.”
“Cartwright?????? Ok, I’m putting the phone down now. We’re done.”
“I’m sorry!!! But you have to admit, you guys sound a little bit like Cartwright.”
“No!! Cartwright sounds a little bit like us. Even though they don’t. Like, at all. god Kevin Ramerson is such a douche too.”
“Kevin Ramerson?”
“Cartwright’s embarrassingly inferior version of Luke Craven. We toured with them four years ago. Never again.”
“Not on good terms I guess?”
“Yeah right. Know what that bastard posted for Luke after Elena? ‘Karma, Bitch.’”
“What??? No!!”
“Yeah…exactly. Total dick.”
“Wow. Well, I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to make you cry. My point was that I love All Hands.”
“ha I know. Luke and I actually wrote All Hands in a single afternoon. We’d just gotten back from our Desperate Times tour and swore we weren’t going to pick up a guitar for a week and then bam, we had our next hit. It’s one of my faves too. You know it almost didn’t make the album.”
“Really?? How’s that possible!”
“The Label thought it was too much of a departure from the other tracks. Didn’t fit.”
“You mean, it sounded too much like a Cartwright song.”
“Shut up. I hate you.”
And I miss him so much right then I start counting the hours until morning.
Day Twenty (Monday).
I keep my promise to Casey and grab some bagels on my way in the next day. I’m in such a good mood I even wave to Mara on my journey through the lobby. She’s not sure what to do with that and returns some kind of strange hand swipe. Aidan is more accommodating and mirrors my grin.
“Morning, miss,” he says.
“Morning, Aidan. And it’s Callie.”
“Miss Callie.”
“No, just Callie.”
He smiles. “Fourth floor?”
I nod. “Yes, please.”
“Those for Mr. Craven and Mr. Barrett?”
I glance at my box and nod. “Promised I’d bring breakfast this morning. You want one?”
He seems surprised by the offer and shakes his head. “Thank you, but I can’t eat on duty. Only on my breaks.”
“Got it. Well, have a great day. Thanks!” I hand him his tip and take off down the hall. I’d whistle as I walk if it wasn’t nine in the morning and I actually was a decent whistler, which I’m not.
Instead, I stop before the door, suddenly shy. After my interaction with Casey, I’m not sure what to expect, how to act when we see each other again. We’d flirted before, but not like that.
He probably does it all the time, I tell myself, and decide not to take it too seriously. I let myself in and breathe a sigh of relief when Casey glances over at my entrance, a huge smile lighting up his face.
“You came back.”
“And brought food as commanded.”
“Good, I’m starving.”
He joins me at the island, and I lay out my offerings. “I got a few kinds of cream cheese. I wasn’t sure what you liked.”
“Plain.”
“Got that.”
I hand him the tub, along with a plastic knife they gave me at the bakery.
“How’s Luke?” I ask, as he sets to work on his bagel.
His smile fades, and I sigh.
“Uh-oh,” I say, and he nods.
“Yeah. It wasn’t a good night. I didn’t want you to worry so I didn’t say anything, but remember that thing you told me about with the chair?”
I nod, my stomach dropping.
“Well, it hit last night. Freakin’ blew up. I’ve been on the phone since six this morning with TJ, the lawyers, the Label PR people. What a mess.”
I shake my head. “I was afraid of this. What are they saying?”
He grunts. “All bullshit. You know how it goes. No one actually knows anything so they all put their own ‘hypothetical’ spin on it, which then becomes fact. You should hear some of the stuff they’re saying. Totally crazy.”
I’m not hungry now, and poke my own bagel as my mind wanders. “What kinds of things?”
Casey shrugs, and I can see the righteous anger seeping into his face. “Stupid stuff. That he was high. That he got in a dispute over a bill. Oh, and you’ll love this. You’re in the story now, too.”
My heart stops. “I am?”
He nods. “Yeah, pretty much the main story, actually.” He studies me, and I can see the concern in his face. “Just a heads up. Anyone you’ve ever known, like, ever, is going to be trying to contact you within the week. Better turn your phone off and plan to stay hidden.”
I suck in my breath. “Contact me? Why?”
He shrugs. “Hey, just a warning. Trust me, when people think you’re worth something to them, you will suddenly be their top priority.”
“Worth something?” I shake my head. “What are you talking about? What are people saying?”
He studies me for a moment, and I can’t breathe. It’s bad. I can tell.
“Honestly, Callie, the main story coming out of it all is that you’re Luke’s new mystery girl.”
I let out my breath in almost a snort. “What? That’s crazy!”
He shrugs. “The restaurant witnesses all say you were seen together eating breakfast almost every day. No one seems to know you, and Luke doesn’t talk to anyone anymore, so there’s no one to counter the story. Not to mention, if they do any investigating, and they will, they’ll learn you practically live with him now.”
“So do you!” I cry.
He grins. “Maybe the three of us have something going. Lucky girl.”
I shake my head in disbelief. “That’s insane.”
He shrugs. “That’s the media. It doesn’t exist if there are no stories, so they have to make them exist.”
“But it’s not even true! It’s all just speculation!”
“Yep. Welcome to celebrity life.”
I grunt. “Well, I guess it could be worse for me than people mistakenly thinking I’m the girlfriend of Luke Craven.”
“True. For now.”
My eyes narrow. “What do you mean?”
He softens, and I can see that he truly wants to help me. He’s genuinely worried about us.
“They’re going to figure out who you are Callie and then it all comes out. Everything, believe me. There are no secrets in our world. We know they’re going to talk, so our best bet is to master the art of steering the conversation.”
My eyes widen. “Is that why you freaked out about the chair and wanted more information? You wanted to try to initiate damage control before word got out?”
He looks away. “Don’t blame yourself. There’s no guarantee there’s anything I
could have done. I might have done more damage to Luke by badgering him at that moment than a few stupid rumors like this will do. This chair thing isn’t a huge story. It’ll probably blow over.”
He quiets, and I suspect there’s more.
“Ok, but?” I press, eyeing him from across the counter.
He sighs and studies me. “You’re the much bigger story, Callie. Believe me, the people are going to be much more interested in Luke’s rebound girl after his wife’s highly publicized suicide than some stupid diner chair.”
I almost choke. “But I’m not his girlfriend!”
Casey shrugs. “Ok. So prove it. Who are you? How are you going to explain your relationship then?”
“I don’t know, but this isn’t fair! I don’t care about myself, but he shouldn’t have to deal with this.”
Casey nods and is silent for a moment. I know I’ve just hit on something significant. Finally, he looks up at me, his eyes searching mine. “This is our lives, Callie. This is the risk we take every day. Every place we go, person we talk to, thing we do, could come back and bite us in the ass. Everything. We never know what or when. Things you do every second of every day without thinking could destroy us if the right people say the wrong things. A receipt falls out of your pocket walking to your car, and next thing you know you’re a litterer who hates the environment and wants to murder all the baby seals.”
I take a deep breath and drop to the stool beside him. “So what do I do? How can I help?”
“We’re working on that. I explained the whole situation, everything, to our people, and they’re going to put together a response,” Casey says. He takes my hand. “Hey, it’s going to be ok. I promise.” He squeezes, and I lean into him. He wraps his arms around me and kisses my hair.
“It would so much better if they just thought I was your girlfriend instead,” I mutter before thinking better of it. I immediately gasp and pull back. “I’m sorry! I didn’t…I meant…for Luke’s sake.”
He’s not smiling this time, just studying me again, and I can’t breathe. I’m such an idiot! I cover my face, completely mortified.
“I’m sorry. I…I should go check on Luke,” I manage, attempting my breakaway.
He grabs my arm to stop my retreat and forces me to face him. His face is inches away from mine, his eyes searching, so deep. So beautiful.
“You don’t actually want that, do you? I mean, do you have any idea how hard it would be to date someone like me?”
Actually, yes, I do have an idea. I also know how hard it would be not to date him after everything I’ve come to learn and love about him. But I don’t say any of that. In fact, no words seem to come out at all.
He looks away. “I’m sorry, Callie. I know you didn’t mean it like that. I just wanted to make sure…I mean, even if I really liked you, and I do…I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I hurt you and I’m afraid I would.”
I nod. Numb. Then, completely heartbroken.
“Yeah, of course,” I reply as casually as possible. But there are tears close to the words. I’m afraid he can hear them as the weak syllables come out. “Um…Yeah, I should go. I…”
I pull away, and he lets me go this time. As I head toward Luke’s room, I’m almost sure I can hear him curse.
∞∞∞
I find Luke in his room. I had checked the office first and was relieved that at least he wasn’t with the chair. I try my best to brush off my fiasco with Casey, determining to sort through that later, and focus on being strong for Luke. He’s the one who needs me. Casey’s proven I’m nothing more to him than a temporary distraction. I grimace. I know that’s not remotely fair, but I’m hurt and irrational at the moment.
“Hey,” I say, moving into the room.
He’s propped up in his bed watching some spy thriller. His eyes are red, his hair’s a mess, and I wonder when he last slept.
“Hey. Casey said you went home last night.”
I nod. “Just to get some stuff and take care of errands. Still have rent and laundry,” I explain with a forced smile.
He returns a fake, polite one of his own, and I sigh. I can’t do this. Not now. Not after what just happened with Casey.
“Move over,” I command, pushing him to his left so I can settle in beside him.
“You hear what happened? What they’re saying?” he asks. He seems concerned, certainly apologetic, and I find it funny that we’re both more worried about each other than we are about ourselves.
“I did. Girlfriend of the great chair thief, Luke Craven. I’ve been called worse.”
He smiles over at me, and I hate how exhausted he looks. He’s tired of life. I can see it in his expression, his manner, every pore of his existence, and it terrifies me.
“Yeah. I’m sorry about that. They’ll fix it, though. They always do. Casey’s working on it.”
I nearly flinch. Strange how I counted the seconds until I could see him this morning, and now I can’t even stand to hear his name.
“I’m not worried. More concerned about you. You ok?” I ask.
He shrugs. “I’ve been called worse,” he repeats with a smile.
I laugh and take his arm, leaning against his shoulder. “We’re gonna be ok, Luke. You know that, right?” I say.
He nods, but I’m pretty sure it’s for my benefit, not his. He stopped believing that a long time ago.
“Watch some TV with me?” he asks, and I smile, squeezing his arm.
“Of course.”
He lifts the remote and resumes the movie.
∞∞∞
It’s a good two hours before I finally venture back to the main room. Casey is gone, and I’m strangely relieved and disappointed at the same time. I grab a bagel for Luke and am about to return to his room when the main door clatters. Casey turns the corner, dressed in workout clothes, a towel slung over his shoulder.
“Hit the gym?” I ask as nonchalantly as possible.
“Had to work off some steam,” he replies with a weak smile.
I nod. “Ok. Well, we’re watching spy movies in the back.” I start walking again.
“Callie, wait! Please.”
I stop and turn to him, my heart racing, but doing everything I can not to let it show.
“I’m sorry about earlier. I just need you to understand that it’s not you. Please know that.”
“Yeah. It’s not you, it’s me. Got it,” I reply, turning again.
“Stop! Will you just stop?” he pleads, grabbing my arm. He pulls me toward him, and I’m almost angry that he looks like he’s about to kiss me again. I yank my arm away and take a step back.
“What is your problem, Casey? What do you want from me? You want to fool around for a bit before you head back on tour with your real model girlfriends? I’m not interested in that, ok? I was pretty sure you were smart enough to pick up on that.”
His face falls. I can see I’m hurting him but I don’t understand how. It was his choice, not mine. It’s his life keeping us apart.
“It’s not like that, Callie. I…I don’t know how to explain it. I just don’t want to hurt you. I’m afraid I’m not what you think. I’m afraid I can’t live up to your expectations. I mean, I’m not…At the end of the day, I’m just a guy.”
I almost laugh. “My expectations? I didn’t even have any! I wasn’t interested in Casey Barrett, the rock star. I don’t know him! I was interested in Casey Barrett, the seventh son of Mr. and Mrs. Barrett of Houston, Texas. The guy who would stand beside his friend when no one else saw any reason why he should. The guy who didn’t shy away from someone else’s puke, or late nights, or fights with a powerful Label because they were hurting someone he loved. The guy whose smile literally got me through the last few days of emotional hell, and who’s been nothing but a rock for all of us.” I stop, the tears brimming now, and I swat at my eyes. “I was interested in the guy who was finally starting to make me believe in myself. So if you’re not actually that guy, then I guess you’re right. We can j
ust end this, whatever it is, now with a clean break.”
With that, I turn and retreat before he can stop me again. I can’t face him. Not now, maybe not ever at this point. Because the truth is, I’m more than interested in that guy. I’m falling hard for that guy.
∞∞∞
“You ok?” Luke asks when I make my way back into his room.
“Fine. Why?” I say, handing him his bagel.
He’s studying me, I can feel his gaze, but I can’t meet it. My drama is the last thing he needs in his life right now.
“You were crying,” he says.
I shrug. “Just allergies,” I lie.
He smirks. “Yeah. Sure. Is this about the rumors?”
Now, I actually do manage a smile. “No. Not at all. I’m not worried about that. I don’t have a life to ruin. Just worried about you.”
He quiets, and I don’t like the way he’s looking at me. “Is this about Casey?”
My throat constricts as my brain goes into crisis mode. “Casey? What do you mean?”
He scoffs. “Please. It’s obvious there’s something going on there.”
I look away and shrug. “Not according to him. Look, can we just watch the movie?” I ask, dropping to the bed.
“He said he’s not interested? Really?”
I glare at him now. For all the times I’ve respected his privacy over the last few weeks, he can’t drop my crap for once? He holds up his hands in surrender at my look.
“Ok! Sorry! It’s just…”
My gaze continues to bore into him, daring him to finish that sentence.
“Casey Barrett thinks it’s best that we keep our distance,” I explain, but the bitterness is too pronounced. I had been going for matter-of-fact.
Luke grunts. “Ok. Then Casey Barrett is lying to you.”
I glance at him sharply, and he shrugs. “Well, sorry, but it’s true. I’ve known the guy for half our lives. He’s crazy about you. I told him on Day One you two were perfect for each other. He knew going into that first breakfast meeting what to expect. I’m not at all surprised you guys hit it off. I called that from the beginning.”
Night Shifts Black Page 19
