No Safeword

by Claire Thompson

  Danielle looked down, her shoulders sagging, and Jaime realized she thought she knew what Jaime’s answer would be. And really, wouldn’t it be best to send this girl packing, after all the damage she’d done? But Jaime knew what it was to be lonely and afraid; and she knew, too, what it was to make stupid, impetuous decisions that came back to bite you in the ass. She also recognized Danielle’s genuinely submissive plea. She’d expressed her longing not only with her words, but through a visceral, physical response that couldn’t be faked. While Jaime doubted she would ever come to like Danielle, her heart ached for the miserable, defeated girl kneeling there before them. In the end, she, too, believed in second chances.

  “Yes,” Jaime replied, half surprising herself. “I do.”

  Chapter 16

  The next morning after breakfast Jaime was directed to present herself in Master Anthony’s study. When she arrived, Master Lawrence was sitting on the sofa along with Master Anthony.

  “Good morning, slave Jaime,” Master Anthony said with a kind smile. “How are you this morning? How is your back?”

  “Better, Sir, thank you,” Jaime replied, her eyes darting toward Master Lawrence, who was looking down at the ground. She dropped into a kneeling-up position on a floor cushion in front of the men and waited.

  “That’s good to hear. I asked you here this morning because Master Lawrence needs to speak to you. He has something to say.”

  Jaime’s stomach lurched unpleasantly. What now? Hadn’t he done enough damage already? Her spine stiffened and she drew in a breath through her nostrils, willing herself to remain calm.

  Master Lawrence looked up at her. To her astonishment, she saws tears in his pale blue eyes. “Slave Jaime,” he said, his voice cracking a little. “I’m sorry.”

  The words hung in the air between them while Jaime’s confused brain struggled to process their import. Master Lawrence, sorry? Had she somehow entered a parallel universe?

  Turning to Master Lawrence, Master Anthony prodded gently, “Go on, Lawrence. Tell her what you told me.”

  Master Lawrence swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing at his slender throat. A faint flush had moved over his face and neck, and Jaime sensed his discomfort. As he blew out a breath, she also sensed his resolve. He met her eyes squarely. “I ask your pardon, slave Jaime. I failed as a Master to you and to The Enclave when I refused to listen to you. I punished you in anger. I promise that will never happen again. Please accept my apology.”

  Jaime realized she was staring, her mouth fallen open in shocked surprise. As she’d lain awake the night before, she’d fantasized about just such an apology, savoring her imagined victory as Master Lawrence groveled in shame before her. But now, faced with the actual man, with the fallible, humbled man before her, all she felt was gratitude and relief.

  “I accept your apology, Master Lawrence. Thank you.”

  Master Lawrence smiled. “Thank you, slave Jaime.”

  “And I thank you as well, Lawrence,” Master Anthony added. “Humility is as important for Dominants as for submissives, if not more so. We must always remember that the exchange of power is a gift and should never be abused.”

  “Yes, Sir,” Master Lawrence said quietly. “Thank you, Sir.”

  As Jaime’s last few days of training progressed, Danielle was given the most menial of service tasks, including washing out dirty gutters on the outside of the house and scrubbing the floors on her hands and knees, using only a rag and bucket of soapy water for her task. Her free time was spent in a punishment corner holding a penny against the wall with her nose. Jaime found her crying in the laundry room one morning as she was ironing a huge stack of linen napkins. Jaime took no pleasure from the girl’s obvious disgrace, but when she tried to offer comfort, Danielle vehemently shook her head. Though her dismissive, snarky behavior had stopped, Danielle had resisted Jaime’s few attempts at friendliness since her apology. “No. Please go away. I just need to be alone right now.” With an inward shrug, Jaime had let her be.

  Master Lawrence, too, remained on probation. He still attended training sessions, though Jaime hadn’t worked directly with him since the cage incident. From what she could observe, and from what Katie shared, he was working hard at his rehabilitation and seemed genuine in his desire to be a better Master. That, as much as anything, swayed Jaime in a positive direction as she mulled over what her answer would be, given the opportunity to remain at The Enclave as a full-time staff slave.

  Her final Friday afternoon found her sitting in a meditative trance as she stared at the golden coins of sunlight dancing on the rippling lake water. Her back had healed surprisingly well in the four days since the punishment caning, and Mistress Aubrey had reassured her there would be no scarring. Her training had progressed well, the slave positions nearly automatic now, her ability to withstand and even embrace erotic torture with grace definitely improved. She still had trouble with controlling her orgasms, both the withholding and the coming on command, but she understood the process better now and knew with time and practice she would get there.

  “Hey there.”

  Jaime’s heart gave a pleasant jolt at the sound of Master Mark’s voice.

  Turning from the rippling, sun-dappled water, she smiled up at the handsome man.

  “Hello, Master Mark.”

  “I was looking for you,” he said, taking a seat beside her on the bench. “I wanted to let you know I have to leave The Enclave for a few days. My little brother’s getting married. He roped me into being his best man.”

  Master Mark didn’t seem especially happy at the prospect. Not sure what to say, Jaime offered, “Congratulations. I mean, it’s a good thing, right?”

  “Oh, yeah. Sure, yes, it’s good, but the timing is lousy, with your final assessment coming up tonight. The actual wedding is tomorrow but the rehearsal dinner is this evening. I kind of have to be there.”

  “Of course, Sir. I understand.” Though Jaime didn’t want him to leave, it warmed her that he had sought her out to tell her.

  “I didn’t want to leave without seeing you once more. I needed to talk to you.”

  Jaime held her breath.

  Master Mark stared into her eyes for several long moments, as if trying to decide where to begin. In the sunlight, she noticed there were tiny dots of blue deep within the green of his eyes, with brown underneath, as if his eyes were soil and grass and sky.

  He looked reached for her hand, which rested on the bench between them. Turning it over, he ran his thumb over the fleshy part of her palm. His touch sent a warm, buttery shudder through her body, all her nerve endings zinging.

  All at once, he let go of her and turned to face the water. “I’m sorry.” He ran a hand over his face. “I shouldn’t be doing that. It’s not fair to you. We aren’t on an equal footing right now, with me still your trainer and all.”

  “Permission to speak, Sir?”

  He glanced back at her, as if startled by the question. “What? Oh, yes, of course. Please.”

  “What’s going on, Sir?” Jaime asked quietly, watching him. His touch had been that of a lover, not a trainer. “You said you wanted to talk to me.”

  “Yeah. I do. I guess I’m just not sure how to begin.”

  “At the beginning?” Jaime teased with a smile, and Master Mark laughed, a hearty, satisfying sound that made Jaime laugh too.

  “You’re something special, slave Jaime,” he said, sobering, and Jaime’s heart twisted with longing. “The thing is, I won’t be here this evening for your final assessment. There are some things I wanted you to know in the event you are asked to stay.” He paused, gathering his thoughts. “I don’t need to tell you how intense a trainee’s experience is, without throwing someone else’s emotions into the mix. I’ve worked with two other trainees since I’ve been here. They were both good, worthy subs, it just wasn’t the right fit for The Enclave. In those instances, I didn’t have any trouble keeping my emotions—my heart—out of the equation. But with you—�
� He took her hand in his once more and squeezed it. “With you, it’s been different. I think you know that. I’ve been doing my damnedest to keep my feelings, or at least the actions resulting from those feelings in check, but I couldn’t leave without telling you, without acknowledging there’s something between us, even if we can’t act on it right now.”

  “Oh, Sir,” she breathed, unable to look away from his serious, sweet gaze. She felt as if her body had been pumped full of helium, as if she might float right up into the sky if he let go of her hand.

  He smiled again, a little ruefully, it seemed to Jaime. “The thing is, this isn’t fair to you.”

  “What?” Jaime blurted, not understanding. “What isn’t fair?”

  “Me laying it out there like this. It’s a timing issue, I guess. I don’t want any feelings there might be between us to cloud your decision. If they offer you the opportunity to stay, you need your mind free and clear of clutter. What I’m trying to say is, it shouldn’t be predicated on anything that might or might not develop between you and me. If we decided to move forward, to get to know each other on a personal level, that shouldn’t be a factor that affects your decision to join The Enclave or not.”

  Jaime nodded, getting it now, though it was hard to focus, the excited little girl inside her shouting, He likes me! Oh my god, he likes me! “What you’re saying makes sense,” she said in her best imitation of a mature adult. He was still holding her hand, and he leaned toward her, their faces now nearly close enough for a kiss. She closed her eyes, her lips tingling—

  A sudden burst of electronic bells startled her. Her eyes flew open and they both pulled back, Master Mark dropping her hand. He snorted and shook his head. Reaching into his pants pocket, he pulled out his cell phone. “My alarm,” he said with a grin. “It’s telling me not to do anything stupid.” He touched the screen and the sound stopped. “Seriously, though, I better get a move on. If I’m late for this dinner thing, there’ll be hell to pay.”

  Standing, he placed his hand lightly on the top of her head. “See you soon, slave Jaime?” It came out as a question.

  She nodded. “Yes, please, Sir,” she said softly.

  His answering smile lit her from within.

  Once dinner was over, the subs stood at attention behind their chairs while the Dominants filed from the room. Tonight before the evening play session, the focus would be on Jaime. Earlier, Master Anthony had instructed her to wait on a floor cushion in the living room after dinner until the dominant members of the community had assembled to conduct her final assessment. Gene, who was standing to Jaime’s right at the table, gave her shoulder an affectionate squeeze once the staff slaves were alone in the room. “Good luck, Jaime,” he said. “I hope they ask you to stay.”

  “Me, too,” Katie piped up from across the table. “I feel like you’ve always been here.”

  “You’re a braves mädchen—a good girl,” added Hans.

  Lucia and Ashley had already disappeared into the kitchen, which left only Danielle. To Jaime’s surprise, Danielle said in a small voice, “I hope you stay, Jaime. You’re a true submissive.”

  Warmed and encouraged by their words, Jaime took a deep breath and smiled. “Thank you.”

  Heart kicking up a notch, she entered the living room and moved to a large silk throw pillow in front of the couch where she’d had her first inspection upon arrival at The Enclave. Katie was right—in a way it was as if she’d always been here. Yet it had only been two weeks, barely a drop in the bucket of her twenty-seven years on the planet. Was that really enough time to make such a momentous decision as would be asked of her tonight?

  Yet, if she were honest, hadn’t she made the decision already? Hadn’t she known the answer the moment Master Anthony had posed the question—the tightly furled bud of submissive longing in her heart opening like a rose in a time-lapse video at his first offer that night at the Garden?

  Jaime couldn’t stop thinking about Master Mark and his revelations by the lake. In her excitement and delight to know her feelings for him were returned, she hadn’t really had a chance to tease out how much of a decision to stay at The Enclave was based on those feelings, and how much on a heartfelt, pure desire to serve and submit. He’d said her decision shouldn’t be based on anything that might or might not develop between them, but what did that mean exactly? She wished they’d had more time, say an hour or a week or maybe a few years, to figure this all out.

  Hearing the sound of approaching footsteps, she knelt quickly on the floor pillow, assuming the at-ease position, hands resting lightly on her thighs, eyes downcast, heart pumping at an accelerated pace as the Masters and Mistresses settled on the couch and chairs in front and on either side of her.

  “Slave Jaime,” Master Anthony said, and Jaime lifted her eyes to meet his. “I know you’ve been waiting all day for our decision, and I don’t want to make you wait any longer. You have behaved in an exemplary fashion during your training period. You’ve learned and grown as a submissive and, while there is always more to learn and strive for, we believe you are well on your way to achieving true submissive grace. As such, our decision is unanimous—we would like to invite you to join The Enclave as a full-time staff slave.”

  Jaime looked at each member, feeling Master Mark’s absence keenly, despite her rising euphoria. All of them seated there, Master Anthony, Master Brandon, Mistress Marjorie, Master Mason, Mistress Aubrey and even Master Lawrence, were smiling encouragingly at her. “Oh gosh!” she exclaimed, her hands coming together over her heart. “Thank you all so much. Oh, wow! I was hoping this would happen, but I wasn’t absolutely sure. I mean, you know—”

  She clapped her hand over her mouth, furious with herself for gushing, heat washing over her cheeks and throat. Damn it, she’d practiced a somber, sophisticated response in her head all through dinner—not a school-girly gush of oh goshes and wows, for heaven’s sake.

  They were all still smiling, some of them now absolutely grinning, but Jaime remained mortified. She looked down as she tried to compose and organize the rush of her thoughts. Fortunately, Master Anthony continued as if she hadn’t just made an ass of herself. “We’re very glad this has been a good experience for you, Jaime. We know it hasn’t always been easy, and it hasn’t always been fair to you, but hopefully you’ve come to see during the process that we’re all human here. No one is infallible, but we can all learn from our mistakes.” He shifted his gaze from Jaime to Master Lawrence, who nodded soberly.

  Master Anthony turned his gaze back to Jaime. “We would love to have you join our community, but we recognize we’re asking for a major commitment, and it’s not one you want to make lightly. After only two short weeks, we’re asking you to give up the life you had before—your apartment, your friends, the right to come and go at will, the freedom to live your life purely on your terms. As a staff slave, while you can get permission to leave The Enclave for family visits and things of that sort, you are basically entering a consensual agreement of sexual and service enslavement. You will no longer have access to your own finances, though money will be set aside for you every month and will be available to you if and when you need it. You will no longer be permitted to make decisions about your body, your daily life or your submissive and masochistic choices. We, as your Masters and Mistresses, will decide for you. There are no hard limits here, no safewords. Once you sign on as a staff slave, you abdicate all rights. The only choice left to you will be the choice to leave, should you decide you are unhappy here. In that case, your connection with The Enclave would cease, and you would not be allowed to return.”

  He paused a moment, scrutinizing Jaime’s face as he allowed her to absorb his words. “With that in mind,” he finally went on, “we want you to take a few days to think this over, removed from the intensity of life here at The Enclave. Take your time. Even if you think you know the answer, let it germinate and rest inside you. It’s also a good time to think about what steps you’ll want to take to get your pre
vious life in order, if you make the decision to join us. We’ll help with the details of closing up your apartment, paying off your car, things of that nature. We have a storage facility here on the property where you can keep your belongings, if you wish. Tomorrow morning Hans will drive you back down the mountain, and I’ll give you a call on Monday morning to get your answer. Does that suit you, slave Jaime?”

  She smiled inwardly, aware that, as usual, Master Anthony was at least one step ahead of her. He was right, of course. Despite her initial impulse to shout, “Yes! I’m in, I’m in!” it was better to take a little time, a few days, to sort things out. She needed to let the excitement settle, to make a decision with a clear mind, and without distraction.

  Lifting her chin, Jaime fixed her gaze resolutely on Master Anthony. “Yes, Sir,” she replied. “That suits me just right.”

  ~*~

  Mark drummed his fingers on the steering wheel in time to the music as he made the drive back from Charlotte that Sunday morning. The wedding had gone smoothly, and his brother and new wife were on their way to Hawaii for their honeymoon—Mark’s wedding gift to the two of them. He’d left Charlotte as soon after the Sunday breakfast as he could, eager to get back to The Enclave.

  His thoughts had veered constantly to slave Jaime over the course of the weekend. Had he done the right thing in telling her his feelings? Should he have left those things unsaid? Had he, rather than making matters clearer for them both, just confused the issue? He’d wanted her to understand her decision to join The Enclave shouldn’t be predicated on whatever might be developing between them, but had he just muddied the waters for her? Should he have kept his mouth shut?

  Used to making decisions and then moving forward without too much agonizing, Mark became annoyed with himself. This new uncertainty was not to his liking. What was his problem, anyway?