Destroyer of Planets

by L. A. Johnson

  Ari wouldn't have believed it if she hadn't seen it.

  "You can never let him see you," Fleek said. "Never make eye contact, or he'll have you, too."

  "How do you know that?" Ari asked.

  "I was in the galley when this new hypnotherapist came in a few months ago. I could only hear him, and I'm pretty sure that's why I'm okay. He kept asking if anyone else was on the ship. Kirian’s first hypnotherapist was a mostly harmless guy; just rah-rah go Celestial type of stuff. Then this guy showed up, and it got serious really fast."

  "Hang on," Ari said. "Celestial? Actual Celestial? As in secret government conspiracy stuff? That's a myth. Like purple spotted wormholes or Space Seahorses."

  "Hey," said Kirian, regaining consciousness in her chair and groaning, "I've seen both of those things."

  The console buzzed to life again, this time with no notification song.

  Ari glanced at Fleek. "What, you're not going to tackle me this time? How do you two ever get any work done with these constant interruptions?"

  “I’m a musician,” Fleek answered. “I work odd hours. And trust me, this is not a typical day.”

  "Kirian, listen," the handsome figure on the screen whispered.

  "Drexyl, be a dear and bring me the soap," said a female voice in the background.

  "In a minute," the figure on the screen, Drexyl, fake-cheerfully yelled back.

  Drexyl faced them once more. "She's in the shower. I don't have much time. She's terminating the Celestial program. I don't know exactly when, yet. But when she does, she's going to delete all the Celestials too. You have to get out of there, Kirian."

  Kirian narrowed her eyes at him and held up her wrists. "How in stars am I supposed to do that, Drexyl? I'm a prisoner too."

  "Drexyl, what's the holdup with the soap?" the female voice off screen yelled.

  "I have to go."

  Once again, the console faded to black and then to clear, allowing a beautiful view of the stars.

  "I feel like I got here at a bad time," Ari said, at last, breaking a very uncomfortable silence.

  Chapter 4

  "No!" Kirian yelled, thumping the console. "Come back. I didn't get to ask him to tell that stupid Octopus to lay off the brainwashing. Those sessions," she shook her head, causing a cascade of light to flicker from the ends of her hair. "I'm starting to lose it. This new CBC guy is messing me up. I mean, I think he is. I'm not even sure anymore."

  "New CBC guy?"

  "The Celestial Brainwashing Coordinator. That's his actual title. If you don't keep the appointments, they zap you full of electricity and then hunt you down. I was okay with it all until recently. I remember the old coordinator. Jake. Fun guy. But then it all changed. Now I don’t remember anything afterward." Kirian swallowed. "Well, there is something I remember. The nightmares I’ve been having."

  The flash of fear Ari saw behind Kirian's eyes scared her.

  "What nightmares?" Ari asked.

  "Every night the same thing. It's stupid, really. You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

  "Try me," Fleek and Ari said together.

  Ari shot him a dirty look.

  "Jinx," he said.

  Kirian ran her fingers through her hair again as she paced around the room and looked to Ari. "Okay, I'll tell you, but only because you might be able to help. I hope."

  "Can you just spit it out?" Fleek asked.

  "Fine. Every night lately, I dream about a giant Praying Mantis species. He eats beings alive. I wish I could get the images out of my head. Why would I dream about that?"

  Fleek closed his mouth and took a step back. Ari was unable to hide a quick intake of breath.

  "Don't even say that," Ari whispered. "Those things aren’t allowed within a hundred light years of our galaxy. Arcturis is a safe place. I mean, it's not like we're on the outskirts or something."

  The very thought of it terrified Ari. Maybe she was better off finding a new planet and a new job. Something far away from basket case warriors and evil Octopus Overlords.

  "I'll tell you what," Ari said, crossing to Kirian and putting a hand on her shoulder. She didn't like the situation, but no harm could come from calming the girl with the deadly weapons.

  "I remember the ring tone that sounded when the CBC guy showed up. I'll just listen in on what's going on next time. Maybe even record it for you. It’ll probably make more sense in context. I'll even take a peek, so you know exactly what he looks like. I'm sure it's a perfectly normal being, not a giant Praying Mantis. Then we'll all feel much better."

  "No," Fleek said, "you can't look at him."

  "I'm not going to look at him," Ari replied. "I'm going to Medusa him. I’ll look at him through a mirror, that way if he is a crazy being with brainwashing power I’ll be safe."

  "That's genius."

  "It's what I do," Ari answered, waving off the compliment.

  "I don't know," said Fleek. "You think it'll work?"

  "I do," Ari replied. "Believe me; these things usually end up being more normal and less scary the more scrutiny they get. So that's just what we're going to do. Okay, Kirian?"

  The console beeped.

  "What now," Ari asked. "Another therapy session?"

  "No," Kirian answered, tapping information into the console, "another Celestial job on another planet. That's way faster than usual. Drexyl might be right."

  "Which planet?" Ari asked.

  Kirian finished reading the screen. "It’s called Reptar."

  Chapter 5

  "Thaara," Soda muttered, entering the main room again after her shower.

  "You said that was the message on the television earlier, what does it mean?" Drexyl asked while toweling off the ends of her tentacles.

  "It's a code word. It means 'The Staars are looking for you. The stars will find you."

  "How do you know that?"

  "Because,” she answered, “I'm the one they're looking for."

  Drexyl dropped the towel. "You have actual Staar bounty hunters looking for you? Like in the horror movies? Why? And what will they do to any innocent bystander prisoners who happen to be in the vicinity? I mean, because I've heard stories."

  "Yeah, the Staars are jerks,” Soda answered. “Oh, and mistakes were certainly made, Drexyl. Let's just say I had a very reckless youth. If only I could go back in time."

  "You'd change it and not have terrifying Staar bounty hunters after you?"

  "Oh no," she said, "I'd do the whole thing all over again. Right now, if I could. I honestly had no end of fun. In fact, it all started with a death sentence in a tiny system of planets where I grew up. Those were the days. And with that sort of thing hanging over your head, well, it makes you nervous. That's when I went after the immortality."

  "That's right!" Drexyl said, picking up the towel. "You're immortal now. So, they can't kill you. Then what are you worried about, anyway? It's the rest of us that need to be scared."

  "Don't you ever listen to me? It was only afterward that I realized how many things can be even worse than death. And believe me, those are the kinds of Staars who know how to dish it out."

  "So, what are you going to do?" Drexyl asked. Despite being a prisoner, he looked around the room with the aim of making new security suggestions.

  Instead of answering, Soda began to pace, slithering back and forth across the floor in front of the bridge.

  "Well, let’s see. I stepped up the completion and deletion of Celestial. That ought to keep those Staars from poking their nose too far into the comings and goings of this galaxy. Hopefully. You see, one of the missions of Celestial all this time has been to rid the galaxy of Palladium."

  "Palladium? Who cares? It's not even worth anything.” Drexyl walked around, double checking that the doors were locked and bolted.

  "Correct. It's not appreciated at all here," Soda said. "That's how I've gotten away with everything so far. That and the sucker contract those yahoos signed. Anyway, Palladium is an element used by the Staars to comm
unicate. Get rid of the Palladium; they can't talk to each other. Even if one finds you, it can't call for help. Is it ideal? No. But it's a lot better than the alternative. Next, we’ll have to figure out the best way to safeguard ourselves in the meantime."

  "Yeah," said Drexyl quickly. "What's that plan?"

  "No idea," said Soda, yawning. "I'll have to sleep on it."

  Drexyl's shoulders slumped. He needed her to come up with a very good plan. And soon.

  Chapter 6

  Ari emerged blinking into a beautiful, sunny day. It was warm. Not oppressively warm. Happy warm. The kind of warm that made her want to lay in a hammock on a summer day and take a nap. She yawned and stretched out on the planet's dusty surface, resting her head in her arms.

  "Ok," said Kirian, snapping a small Biome Analyzer closed and placing it back in her pocket. "There might be a tad too much carbon monoxide here for you. We gotta move. I still don't know what it is you're doing here on-planet with me."

  Kirian helped Ari up, and they moved closer to the city.

  "I'm going to do some research. See what I can find out," Ari said, yawning. "Maybe I can help you with your handcuffs."

  "Restraints."

  "Or figure out how to break the hypnotherapy spell. Or maybe just stop the Overseer from destroying this fine planet."

  "You don't know anything about this planet."

  "That's true, but I have a good feeling about it. And besides, it beats staying on the ship."

  As they approached the city, the carbon monoxide concentration fell, and Ari started feeling better. She entered the city wide-eyed, taking it all in.

  Kirian stopped outside a giant building in the middle of a bustling downtown.

  “Why have we stopped?” she asked, staring up at the skyscraper looming over them. A sign over the main entrance said: "Reptar Planetary Federal Building" in happy, giant purple lettering. Ari gave them credit for at least trying to put a positive spin on the whole planetary civil service idea.

  "This is my next mission," Kirian answered. "This is how Celestial works. The system automatically creates a resume for whatever it is these people need." She waved at the building. "If I already have a job when I get here, then it streamlines the process and makes them less suspicious."

  "And you need the fake resume because you don't actually know anything about civil service," Ari continued.

  "Because I don't, in fact, know anything about it,” Kirian answered. “And furthermore, I don't care. For me, the whole thing's just a cover."

  They were in a busy section of Reptar's capital city in rush hour, apparently. The beings surrounding them were humanoid-looking, but with some notable exceptions, one of which included assorted extra digits on their extremities.

  "Anyway, your resume got accepted just fine, Ari. Welcome aboard, Level eight Specialist Data Consultant."

  Ari's eyes widened. "You got me a promotion?"

  "No, you got you a promotion. It's your resume. When you said you wanted to come on-planet with me, I forwarded yours along with mine and they accepted us both."

  Ari didn't want to admit it, but she was glad to be here. She was excited about being on another planet with a new job and promotion, even if it was only temporary.

  They entered the building, and she followed Kirian through the labyrinthine interior until they reached Ari's new office.

  "Have fun," said Kirian, and then she was gone.

  Ari's boss stopped by a few minutes later to introduce himself. He was taller than Ari. His species was very tall with elongated limbs and a head that was too small for his body. He had thinning brown hair and large expressive eyes.

  "Hello," he said, coming around the desk to extend a hand. "Welcome to data crunching. Your resume was most impressive. We were lucky to find you. How did your last employer manage to let you get away?"

  Ari took a deep breath. She didn't want to think of her old boss or her last planet right now, or what Kirian was doing at this moment. She decided to do what she could for these good, kind people who happened to appreciate intelligent new employees when they saw them. There should be more of that in the universe, not less.

  "No matter," he continued. "You see, an issue has come up. And so far, none of us can make heads or tails of it. We were hoping that hiring an experienced traveler of the galaxy such as yourself could help us figure it out."

  Ari swallowed. She wondered if Kirian had, in fact, enhanced her resume. It doesn't matter where I have or haven’t been, she thought. I'm very good at my job.

  "I do love a good mystery," she answered.

  Kirian dropped Ari off and set the coordinates for her office on her watch. Then she ducked in to meet her new boss, who showed her around and gave her the passwords for her work pod. Formalities over with, she went to work.

  The alternate passwords given to her by the Celestial agency gained her access to all of the databases. It was probably traceable, but it didn't matter. By the time the locals had a clue what she was up to she'd be long gone, as would the planet.

  She navigated into the main system, then the shadow system, then into security. Stars. Hard copies? Who puts important information on hard copies anymore? What was wrong with these people? Things just got more complicated.

  She patted the outside of her jacket pocket and located her sleep ray gun. It was her failsafe along with the Stingr Swords in her pants pockets. Right where they were supposed to be. Good.

  The Stingr Swords were custom-made and collapsed down to the size of lipstick containers. It meant she could travel with them anywhere. Of course, she also had her curved metal sword, which didn't say much for local security.

  There was nothing to do but make her way to the basement and face the Keeper of the Files. She headed out of her cubicle into the hallway and ran right into a tall, elongated being with a stylish fish tie. Fish Tie Guy stared down at her. He had a stack of papers in his arms.

  "Good. New girl. Arrange these files for me." He looked at his watch. "It's almost lunch. Be back to get them soon." He leaned his head down to scowl at her. "Don't screw it up. If those files are not right after lunch, I won't have time to fix them." He made a threatening gesture and was gone.

  Kirian watched him walk away. She ran her tongue along her upper left tooth. Then she imagined at least four different ways to kill him in her head. The last one made her laugh.

  What have I ever done to deserve this stupid, hard-copy planet? I don't have time for this.

  She was left standing with her pent-up anger and a stack of files. She had no idea what Fish Tie Guy was talking about, and there was no way she'd have the hard copies before lunch was over. The only option she had was to make her way back to Ari and hope she could help.

  From her corner office on the eighty-third floor, Ari had a beautiful view of the city. Even after she won the Jawsdon Genius award on her home planet, this kind of office had still been out of her reach at her last job.

  She sighed contentedly, reached for her coffee mug, and mulled over the hard copies of data her boss had given her. The "coffee" was thick, not too sweet, and had a little something extra in it. The best Ari could describe it was a sort of cross between coffee, chai tea, and a something else she couldn't identify. It made her warm and happy, and the taste reminded her a little bit of rum.

  The paper felt good in her hand. Strong and sturdy. She studied it by the natural light flooding through her window while lounging back, not bent over the artificial light of her computer screen. Hard copies. Something about it was just so soothing.

  Kirian appeared in the doorway, startling her. "Ari. Finally. Even with coordinates, this building is a maze."

  "Kirian." Ari was happy to see her. "How is your morning going? Can you believe this office? Hey, I get the feeling you enhanced my resume for this position."

  "Yes, you're welcome."

  "No, you wait a minute. This thing they gave me to figure out. It's hard. That's why they requisitioned a level eight associate. I was a
level five and a half, you know."

  Kirian slumped into the chair opposite Ari and next to the window. "Look. I worked at your previous office briefly. You think anybody there was smarter than you?"

  "Not remotely."

  "See?" Kirian said. "You'll be fine. Doesn't matter anyway. We'd be gone already if this stupid planet didn't keep hard copies of everything."

  "I happen to like hard copies. Hey, Kirian. Let me know if this planet is going to be destroyed. Because, if not, I may just stay. I can do all the research from here instead of on the ship."

  Kirian looked wounded. "Fine." She showed the stack of papers in her hand to Ari. "Some guy who hates me told me to organize these. Soon, or he'd kill me or something."

  "Doubt it," said Ari, accepting the papers and inspecting them. "Oh, that'll take five minutes...he just wants you to organize them according to date and amount and…" She looked up, and Kirian was gone.

  Ari sighed and wished Kirian would stop doing that.

  Chapter 7

  For Fleek, it all started with Kirian being gone so much. When she was off doing Celestial stuff, Fleek would watch mathematical fractals in secret, a practice forbidden in all of the planets in the known galaxy by the Neon Octopus Overlord. Nobody knew exactly why. At least not in the corners of the internet he had searched.

  The policy had only been in place for a couple of centuries. Fleek was, in his heart, a musician. And musicians are rebels. Illegal fractals seemed like a good place to start, and being a galaxy-class hacker; he knew exactly where to find them. Oh yes, finding forbidden fruit on the dark net was his forte. That, and the video game Low Down Nemesis. Nobody beat him at that.

  The fractals fascinated him at first, but then the whole thing had taken off into addiction territory, with Fleek developing an eye twitch if Kirian was on-ship for too long. Only then did the fractals make their way into his music. Two obsessions that worked hand in glorious, addiction-fueled hand until he finished the song.