When We Were Mortals

by E. S. Mercer

  She turned back around to Ryan who sat sulking and staring at the brothers.

  “I think it is time to take her to Matris,” she ordered. “Since we can’t, you need to convince your father to tell her the truth.”

  “How do we get there with the Aljann is destroyed?” I asked.

  “The city is in ruins, but the Gateway is still intact,” she replied. “If it wasn’t the realms wouldn’t be intact.” *****

  “Just because Hyperion’s gone doesn’t mean I will relinquish the throne to you,” a confident proxy said as he watched Samiel enter the throne room.

  He was a short man, barely taller than five-foot-six but his broad shoulders and barreled chest made him seem larger than anyone in the room. The golden mane, cascading down his back and the beard that cradled his prominent chin accentuated his courage and prowess.

  "I would never ask you to do such a thing,” Samiel replied. “I have never been one to sit in a garish room such as this and announce to the world that I lack taste and refinement.”

  He strutted towards the stand-in King, “besides, I have come to ask for your forgiveness.”

  “My forgiveness?” Abraxas asked, slowly sitting on the edge of the gaudy and oversized throne. He was visibly shaken by such a thought. He was the one who should be asking for the Cimmerian’s forgiveness.

  “Why yes,” Samiel replied. “I put you in a position to test your loyalty and made you choose a side. If it weren’t for my insisting you stay during my conversation with Arabella, she would still be here.”

  As soon as Samiel mentioned her name, Abraxas’ lips began to quiver. He knew in truth he was the reason Arabella was killed. He was a Cimmerian and a Praesidian guard who overheard a conversation he shouldn’t have. He blamed Samiel for being banished to Cimmeria and used the information he had to get into Hyperion’s good graces. With what he knew, he was given the highest rank in Hyperion’s army and third in line for the throne.

  “I’m…,” Abraxas started to say; he couldn’t resist the urge to apologize. But he was stopped by Samiel who ascended the stairs to the throne and stood at his feet.

  “That is not why I am here,” Samiel said. “I am here to form an alliance with you. Help me destroy the King in return for allowing you to keep the throne.”

  “But if the King is gone, you become the all-powerful,” Abraxas announced, as if Samiel needed to be reminded. “The throne would be yours.”

  “I don’t want to sit upon a golden chair,” Samiel replied, tapping the arms of the throne and then leaning in two whisper in Abraxas’ ear, “besides, when I am done, I won’t need to. The people will be yours to govern.”

  “But I don’t know where he is,” Abraxas bantered back. “No one does.”

  “Then he must be in the mortal realm,” Samiel responded. “It’s the most logical place for him to hide.” Abraxas stood up and backed away from the throne, as Samiel found himself sitting in the seat he kept demanding he didn’t want. He pointed to Danyal, Molloch and Malachai who stood behind their sister, silently waiting for orders.

  “Take them with you,” he ordered. “And Lilith too. Take an army if you have to.”

  “But I don’t want to go,” Lilith cried as she ran towards the throne. “I want to stay with you.”

  Samiel grunted as he waved her off.

  “When did you become a sniveling little wife,” Abraxas asked his former guardsman. “You used to be so much tougher.”

  “I’m still tough, Abe,” she barked as she stormed past him. She threw on her leather jacket and picked up sword.

  “You could have fooled me,” he chuckled, motioning to the others. He turned to Samiel. “What makes you think I can capture the King?” “Because he is weak,” Samiel replied. He took a moment to mentally check to make sure he wasn’t exposing his own weaknesses. “He wouldn’t be hiding if he wasn’t.”

  “And what am I to do once we capture him?” Abraxas asked.

  “Bring him to me of course,” Samiel responded. “And bring me Noita as well.”

  “Don’t get too comfortable,” Abraxas muttered under his breath.

  “What did you say?” Samiel asked. He had heard what ‘Abe’ said, but wanted to see if he had the guts to repeat it.

  “You will have your man soon enough,” Abe said as he bowed out.

  Chapter IX

  While the ‘Fallen’ worked with Ryan and Alistair to come up with a game plan, I took Elaine up on her offer to relax in a nice hot bath. “None of what comes next is going to be easy,” she said as she sat behind the claw foot tub, running her soapy hands through my hair. Her gentle touch carried with it a slight guilt, along with an urge to become the mother I needed. “Once you find out who you are, you must make a choice as to what to do with it.”

  She couldn’t tell me who I was any more than the next person. The spell to tie the tongue of all who knew deemed stronger than any of them hoped. Many of them had tried to break it, but Hyperion’s magic was rarely able to be undone. She could explain however that I was more important to this world than I could imagine. I was something special and anyone who was lucky enough to be in my presence couldn’t even begin to be worthy of it.

  Talk about putting a lot of pressure on a girl, or at least the expectation of it.

  Meanwhile, Gabriel snuck out of the house and made his way down to the lake edge where he could take a moment to deal with his emotions.

  Uriel, who always has a sixth sense about her baby brother, realized he was gone and went out to look for him.

  “I came out here to be left alone Uriee,” he announced as he felt her come closer, “I need to wrap my head around all of it.”

  He kept his face hidden so she couldn’t see the tears that slowly ran down his bronzed face. “Around what?” she demanded, forcing his gaze. “It is what it is and right now you have to accept it.”

  “Accept the fact that my wife thinks she is married to my brother?” he asked sharply. “I can’t just accept that. I have to figure out how to get through to her so she remembers.”

  “And what will that do to you and your brother’s relationship,” she shot back. “He believes he is married to her with as much conviction as you do,” she replied warmly. “What you need at this moment is to be right with Michael. Us divided cannot win this war.”

  “But I need her, Uriee. I only feel alive when I am with her. I am dying. I can feel my soul start to fester and decay as we speak!” “Oh, please stop being a drama queen,” she sighed. “I get how she makes you feel. I hate her because of how much even I must love her, but right now there is nothing you can do to fix this. Just go on with your life knowing that you know that she does loves you back. She has found you repeatedly and you always end up back where you belong, together.”

  “You don’t understand,” he bellowed. The frustration of trying to get his sister to understand how much he actually needed me, started to get him agitated. He truly was feeling a physical pain and couldn’t explain why.

  “I do understand, we go through this every time,” she replied, trying to calm him down. “She always comes around.”

  “But this time she doesn’t remember at all,” he cried, grabbing his sister’s shoulders. “She doesn’t remember at all!” “You told me she felt something when you saw her before,” Uriel said. “So, she must know it and not realize yet. And I get that you are tired. I know the sacrifices you have made to find her. It is another reason I hate her so much right now,” she stopped and turned, pointing towards the house, “But you must be strong for her. You must put all your feelings aside and remember that we are fighting a battle that goes beyond you and her. If we don’t focus on what we are meant to do, you will realize what it means to truly lose her.”

  She pulled her brother into her arms. “Then you would lose yourself and I can’t let that happen.” She squeezed him tightly, “I can’t lose you too.” *****

  Back in the room I was riffling through the bag Elaine had given me. She was
kind enough to stop by my apartment to grab some clothes, however, in her haste, she grabbed Zara’s clothes instead of mine.

  It wasn’t the size of the clothes that were the problem, it was the style. Zara tended to be a little more confident in her looks and her clothes reflected that. Skin tight pants and crop tops were her thing. And since Ryan’s sister Veronica was a bit thicker than I was, borrowing any of the clothes she left at the lake house would make me look equally as silly.

  But in the end, I managed to slide on a pair of skin tight jeans and an old Tshirt Elaine found in one of the closets. Once I was done, I headed down to the living room, hoping to find everyone waiting for me. Instead, Michael being in the only one there, greeted me with a soft yet firm kiss on my lips which melted me immediately. It felt normal and right, until I saw the look on Gabriel’s face as he walked back into the room. Seeing me kiss his brother drove a stake through his heart and shattered mine as I watched it happen.

  Why couldn’t I remember being in love with him. It made sense in so many ways, as I felt it strongly, but it was there but more like a leg or an arm that had gone numb. But when I looked at Michael I could physically feel how I felt about him, even though it didn’t feel organic. It didn’t feel forced either. It did, however, feel misplaced.

  I remembered how I felt when Gabriel touched me before. When I met him as Adam, I felt a pull I still can’t explain. If I could just find a way to connect with him like that again, maybe I would feel it.

  “I missed you,” Michael whispered, kissing me again. “I noticed,” I responded, trying to stay aloof. Love put aside, the way he touched me literally made me want to jump right back into bed with him. If this was part of constructed misdirection, I think they added a little more lust in the mix than they should have.

  “What is the plan?” I asked, shaking him off.

  “Some of the Fallen will escort Ryan to Matris to talk to his father,” Alistair replied. “I really hate when people call us that,” Ramiel uttered under his breath. He didn’t say it loud enough for anyone to hear, but even from across the room, I heard exactly what he said.

  I winked at him just so he knew I understood.

  "Why aren’t I going with them,” I asked. “I want to speak to him too.”

  “Because we have been told that Samiel is in Matris and we aren’t sure which way Renu is going to go with all this,” Alistair replied.

  I had a bad feeling about any of them going. “And you think it is safe for any of them to go?”

  “We will be fine,” Raphael said, wrapping his arm around me. “We can get in and out of Matris undetected. There are people who will help us.”

  “Who is us?” I asked. “Who agreed to go?” Raphael and Ramiel raised their hands.

  “And you are ok with doing this?” I asked, turning to Ryan. “You made it pretty your father doesn’t want to have anything to do with you.”

  “I have done everything to prove to you that I love you and yet you still couldn’t love me back,” he said, trying to hold back tears. “There is no sense in me sticking around anymore. I will help them get to my father and pray he lets me have the Library back.”

  “So, you are running away?” I asked, trying to get him to look at me. He tried to act distant and cold, but in truth he was hiding the breakdown he was attempting to avoid.

  “I’m not running away,” he replied. “They are here, so there is no reason for me to be.” I hadn’t realized up until this point, what kind of situation I was in. I’m being told that in another life I had spent years trying to be with the one I truly loved. When that failed, I spent many more years with a man, who knew in his very core that loved me. And as of a couple days ago, I was planted in a life where another man felt the same way and I was stuck between how he made me feel and what I thought I knew.

  Truth is I did love Ryan, very much. I had made a life with him and felt wonderful in it; but no matter how much I told him, he swore he was nothing more than a stand in.

  “I do love you Ryan,” I said, walking towards him. “You weren’t filling in for someone else. You were there when I needed to be loved the most. Even if it were for a short time, it was real.”

  “And then it ended,” he cried, through gritted teeth.

  I stood on my toes so I could kiss his cheek, but he pulled away. “And I’m so, so sorry for that,” I whispered. “My life was stolen from me and somehow you got caught up in the middle of me trying to figure out why.”

  As hard as he fought it, he finally gave in and leaned in for that kiss.

  “Because I put myself there,” he said, as my lips pressed against his tearstained cheek. The taste of pain and heartbreak was almost too much for me to bear and I nearly pulled away. But he held me close as he turned just enough so my lips would reach the corner of his downturned mouth.

  “Somewhere in a parallel universe we are together and knowing that will make me happy, because losing you in this one never will,” he whispered, holding steady before he finally kissed me back and then gently pushed me away. “Goodbye Ness.”

  He avoided eye contact again as he walked over to Gabriel and placed his hand on the Cimmerian’s chest. “It will always be you,” he said to the Prince. “I don’t know why, but she always chooses you.”

  He turned to Michael and patted him on the shoulder. “Enjoy it while it lasts Michael, you will feel like me soon enough.” He could see the blood start to boil in Michael’s eyes, but he didn’t give him time to react as he kissed his mother goodbye and threw his bag over his shoulder. “Thank you for the last couple of years,” he said looking back at her. “It was great getting to know you.”

  “You too,” she whimpered, turning away. She was not one to show emotion and this was too much for her.

  “I’ll be waiting outside,” he said, walking out the door. I silently begged for him to look back. “He sure knows how to leave an impression,” Uriel chuckled as she walked over towards her brothers. “Ignore him,” she said, snapping her fingers in their stunned faces. Both, completely floored by Ryan’s comments, stood just staring at the front door.

  Finally, Gabriel looked to his brother and then back at me. He tried to think of something to say, but he knew that anything that came out of his mouth at this moment may have set his brother off. Instead, he turned towards Elaina. “Is there a room for me tonight?”

  She too was speechless and just shook her head yes as she started up the stairs. Gabriel followed, as I attempted to speak to Michael, calling out his name but he wouldn’t respond. Then, he turned and looked right at me. “I don’t care what you have to do to convince yourself that Gabriel is not the man you are meant to be with, just please figure it out soon so we can move on with our lives.”

  “How am I supposed to do that?” I asked.

  “I don’t know, but I am going with them,” he barked, standing up and storming towards the front door. “I’m sure you two can stay here and figure it out.”

  “No, this is exactly what Samiel wants,” Raphael announced. “You are angry and it won’t get us anywhere. Stay here and work things out with your brother.”

  But Michael refused. “You have to clear yourself of this drama or someone is going to get hurt,” Raphael reiterated. “You are a victim in this as much as they are. Stay and talk this out.”

  “No,” Michael yelled. “I need time to think and I can’t do it while they are here.”

  “But you don’t have your wings, do you?” Alistair asked. “How are you going to get to Matris?”

  “Somehow, she healed me last night,” he said, pointing as he never looked at me. “I will be fine.” He stormed past Raphael, glaring at him. “I am going whether you like it or not.”

  Raphael, saddened by the pain his brother felt, took a deep breath before leaning in to kiss my forehead goodbye.

  “I feel for you all,” he said, “but I do understand why it pains him so much. Each one of us, even Uriel, have loved you in our own way.” He motioned to Ramiel
who winked at me with a subtle little smile and they both walked out the door.

  “And people wonder why she makes me so mad,” Uriel said, as she took herself upstairs. I started to feel extremely overwhelmed by the drama that continued to rear its ugly head. I mean, I tried to stay focused on figuring out how I got into this mess, but this love triangle I found myself in seemed to halt any progress. And no matter how hard we all tried to be adults about it, we failed miserably.

  “Let them go,” Alistair offered. “If Michael is giving you the space you need to figure this out with Gabriel, then use it. Take tonight to really figure out what you feel.”

  “But, he isn’t doing it out of the goodness of his heart,” I retorted. “He was angry.”

  “Better to be angry now and accept his fate then to string him along,” Alistair replied.

  I plopped down into the chair behind me. “But even if I do remember that I am in love with Gabriel, I have feelings for Michael too. Granted they are rather sudden, but they are there. So how does that help?”

  “You have to figure this out for yourself,” Alistair said. “But I will tell you, I know what it is like to be in their shoes. Elaina has never gotten over Renu and I have always been second to him.”

  He rubbed the top of his thighs and then stood up. “I know I am not the easiest person to live with but I am pretty sure by now I have proved to her that I love her more than he ever could.”

  He started to walk out of the room. “I have never and will never abandon her the way he did.” This whole time, I understood why Ryan was so upset, but I didn’t understand why Michael was angry at me. The relationship we supposedly had was fabricated by his father to fool me. This was merely a planted memory and nothing more or so I thought.

  But the truth is, Michael was more involved in my life than anyone was telling me. He was one of the very few who always knew the truth about me and protected me much of my life. I wouldn’t have found out what those truths were or how much he had sacrificed for me due to those secrets until much later, but when I did, it put his devotion into a much better light. And in the end, I would find out that he, much like Ryan and Gabriel, was genuinely and absolutely in love with me.