The Perpetual Quest for the Perfect Life

by Pace, Michelle

  The past couple of days had been rough. She hadn’t slept much; her dreams of Ryan had become more frequent. Last night she had dreamt they were dancing.

  She was in her wedding gown and he’d been wearing his green scrubs. Their song, “I Can’t Help Falling in Love” played in the background. Unlike her actual first dance, it was the UB40 version.

  “My beautiful Cheesehead bride.”

  “My soon-to-be-toothless husband.” He smiled at her dig. He’d been forced to have a root canal two weeks before the wedding.

  “Tell you what. I’ll cut out the sugar if you promise to never cut this beautiful hair again.”

  “No deal.”

  He spun her out and she noticed the front and side of his scrubs bloom with sanguineous liquid. Ryan looked down at himself, then back at her. He smiled, unconcerned, and he dipped her.

  She couldn’t get back to sleep after that.

  It’s official: I am losing my mind.

  She put her hood up and pulled her cloak around herself, regretting her stupid decision to wear her hair up on such a cold night. She looked on as couple left the bar. They were staggering and hanging all over each other. As they sped away, she was very thankful that she was not on the road and lived within stumbling distance.

  The Port Frank guys finished their hatchet job on her favorite ‘80s song and what followed was even worse. Nicole decided she could handle the cold a little longer, even though she was starting to lose feeling in her fingers and ears.

  Moments later, a black sports car came barreling down the main drag. It whipped into the empty spot the couple had left behind. Nicole recognized the car as Jason’s. She was poised to retreat into the bar, when the passenger side door opened and Joy climbed out in platform heels. She was dressed as Britney Spears in her infamous nude-colored Grammy ensemble. With her bra top and midriff bearing pants, she had to be freezing. For Joy, vanity seemed to trump comfort every time.

  As Jason came around the car to join her, Nicole bit down hard on the inside of her lip to stop a laugh from escaping her mouth. Not to be outdone by his date, Jason was escorting her in full regalia as Prince Charming. His costume was so elaborate he must have ordered it directly from Disneyworld. No detail was spared, down to his white gloves. His hand was on her ass as they ascended the stairs to the front entrance of O’Connell’s.

  They seemed not to recognize her. Unable to resist the temptation, Nicole followed them in. She didn’t want to miss the rest of the bar’s reaction to the ridiculous couple.

  As her eyes adjusted to the light inside, she observed the rippling effect their entrance had on the crowd. Though everyone’s attention was focused on the stage at the other end of the bar, like the wave at a sporting event, heads turned slowly in their direction.

  Nicole quickly took a vacant barstool and settled in to watch. Colin appeared before her as if by magic.

  “What can I get ya?” His words were far more innocent than his tone.

  “I think I’m ready for a martini.”

  “Dirty?” He wiggled his eyebrows playfully.

  “Is there any other way?” A mischievous smile played on her lips as she leaned her elbows on the bar and placed a hand under her chin. It seemed she could flirt with someone besides Aaron, after all.

  “Naughty.” Colin winked at her and proceeded to make her drink adding in a little bartender flair. His attention was a pleasant surprise. He presented her martini, locking eyes with her before being called away by his father. Nicole admired his tight jeans and his slightly bow-legged gait as he walked away.

  She was fortunate to witness Avery and Shilah’s faces when they first spotted Joy and Jason. Their mouths fell open in unison and it appeared as if this abomination was the last thing on earth they expected to see. Shilah moved a lock of Avery’s hair away from her ear and leaned in to whisper something.

  Lauren’s reaction was even better. She laughed so loud that it carried above the unfortunate performer.

  “The one time a year adults dress up as what they wish they were.” She yelled and pointed at Jason.

  Several other singers and groups got up to perform, including Paige and her S & M friend. As Paige took the stage, Lauren downed a shot and put her hands along the sides of her mouth. Nicole braced herself.

  “Sit down, Paige!” As a snicker passed through the crowd, Paige flipped Lauren off. They sang “Let’s Give Them Something to Talk About” by Bonnie Raitt. They actually sounded really good and Nicole could tell that Lauren was pissed. Sean announced that Daniel was singing next and the crowd went crazy. The 50-year-old man dressed as a ninja with a receding hairline and scraggly ponytail took the stage. His performance of “At This Moment” by Billy Vera was horrendous, but the crowd lit cigarette lighters and whooped and hollered as if Elvis had entered the building. Nicole watched the performance with her hands over her eyes, peeking out between her fingers.

  Avery and Lauren were up next, which seemed to distract Lauren from making a bigger scene.

  Nicole grabbed her drink and hurried to get a better vantage point for the upcoming performance. Avery looked like she wanted to crawl in a hole and Lauren appeared to be warming up for Carnegie Hall. Nic took another big swig of her martini and couldn’t help but be nervous for them.

  The heavy music began and Lauren was all over the stage, head banging and rocking out. Avery swayed back and forth half-heartedly and Nicole wondered if she was trying not to fall in her stiletto heels.

  Shilah spotted her and waved her over. She leaned in close so she could hear him over the crowd and the music.

  “So, are they any good?” He yelled. Nicole shrugged.

  “We can only hope.”

  Three minutes later the entire bar was on their feet, singing along. What they lacked in talent, they made up for in attitude. Lauren worked the mic stand like a veteran rocker. Nicole, enthralled and amused by the crowd’s reaction, happened to glace at the entrance. It was her turn to stare with her mouth hanging open. Jack and Aaron had just entered the bar. Colin seemed unable to contain himself and cackled hysterically as he handed them bottles of beer. Jack flipped him the bird as he took his drink. He was dressed as the Sweet Transvestite from The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Aaron trailed behind Jack apprehensively, dressed as an Indian. Nicole couldn’t resist admiring Aaron’s strapping body in his leather pants and fringed vest. Crowning his head were feathers and he wore stripes of war paint. She turned to Shilah and pointed them out. Shilah laughed out loud.

  “Let’s hear it for Avery and Lauren! Next we have--- holy shit! Is that Jack Smith?” Sean pointed at Jack, who looked for a moment like a deer in the headlights. The entire bar’s focus was now on Jack. The crowd roared with laughter like they were in the studio audience for a sit-com.

  As Sean launched into “YMCA” pointing at Jack and Aaron, several patrons (including Jules and Lauren) did the famous dance moves. Aaron and Jack seemed annoyed as they pounded their beers. Lauren bounded toward her husband and embraced him, nearly causing him to lose his balance in his high heels.

  Knowing there wouldn’t be enough room at the table for everyone and ill-prepared to interact with Aaron, Nicole moved away and found a spot by Jules on the wall. Deep down she’d known Aaron would show up, but she had no idea what to say to him and didn’t think she could manage a casual conversation.

  “I’ve gotta take a break,” Sean announced hurriedly. He guided his girlfriend over to the booth where Jack, Aaron, and Lauren had joined Shilah.

  “You are one sexy bitch,” Shilah said to Jack, who winked. They tapped their drinks together, toasting.

  “Do I have any makeup left, or did you use it all?” Lauren chimed in.

  “This is what took us so long. I had to wait for ‘Her Royal Highness’ to get all dolled up.” Aaron rolled his eyes and shook his head.

  “How was the carving contest? Did anybody lose a finger?” Sean looked from Jack to Aaron.

  “No 911 calls this year.” Aaron
took a long swig from his bottle of beer and sighed.

  “Who are you supposed to be?” Avery asked Aaron.

  “Tonto.”

  Shilah chimed in. “You girls aren’t the only ones call each other to coordinate outfits.” Avery cackled.

  “You look more like the Indian from The Village People.” She flipped the fringe on Aaron’s vest and scoffed.

  “We prefer the term Native American,” Aaron informed her as he bumped fists with Shilah.

  Avery slugged him in the arm. “Well, you aren’t going to be much competition for Jason in that.”

  Nicole couldn’t see Aaron’s face, but she could see him do a double take from behind. Avery had apparently surprised him.

  “Why the hell would I need to compete with that tool?” There was a pregnant pause at the table.

  “Okay, what the hell did we miss?” Nicole heard Jack mutter. As if summoned by his question, Jason and Joy approached the table.

  “Jack. Love it,” Jason gushed as Joy hung on his shoulder staring down at Aaron haughtily.

  “Ay yi yi, chica. This is gonna get ugly,” Jules said to Nicole, emphasizing the last two syllables dramatically.

  “Yeah, I’m kind of torn. I don’t want to watch, but I can’t look away,” Nicole whispered in reply.

  “Let’s go get a drink.” Jules headed off and Nicole followed without a backward glance.

  Aaron’s long day instantly went from bad to worse. Joy’s costume was amazing. His eyes automatically tailed along the curve of her hip and he quickly shook off his lascivious train of thought, remembering she was the captain of Crazy Town.

  What a hot mess.

  Jason looked as douchey as ever, and seeing his arm around Joy made Aaron want to smack the smug look off of his face. He somehow kept his cool.

  “Aw, look. Barbie found her Ken,” Aaron murmured.

  “Yeah. It’s kinda nice to be treated like a lady.” Joy’s reply felt cold.

  “Maybe if you acted like a lady, you’d be treated like one,” Aaron responded, remembering her scathing comment about Nic and Ike. Joy’s eyes flew wide and Jason looked surprised and opened his mouth.

  Aaron stood and poked a finger in Jason’s chest.

  “Do yourself a favor and don’t say a word.” He stepped back and turned to Shilah, who stood in anticipation of a fight.

  “I think we’re gonna need a couple more pitchers of beer. I’ll go get ‘em.” Aaron sauntered away. Unhappy with this turn of events, he was kicking himself for taking so long to call Joy. He found a welcome escape at an empty barstool. He looked down the bar and waved to get Colin’s attention. The bartender was deep in conversation with a hooded figure who must’ve been a hot chick, judging by Colin’s horny expression. As Aaron opened his mouth to call to him, Colin reached out and pulled the girl’s hood down, leaning down to whisper in her ear. Aaron nearly fell off his barstool.

  Nicole.

  He felt like someone had kicked him in the nuts and watched helplessly as they cavorted. He had the most vivid sense of déjà vu; Nic’s familiar expression and mannerisms combined with Colin’s small build and dark hair reminded him of seeing Nicole and Ryan together. The similarity was uncanny and he broke out in goose bumps. Deeply disturbed, he was about to walk away when Colin turned and spotted him.

  “Hey, Aaron! What can I get ya?”

  Aaron’s eyes shifted to Nicole. She glanced at him and the smile disappeared from her face. She took a sip of her drink.

  “I need three pitchers and a couple glasses,” he replied, without taking his eyes off of her. Nicole’s costume was tame compared to the other women in the bar, but something about the way her braided hair exposed her neck and her peach, creamy skin made his pants tight. She’d glanced at him again and reacted to something in his expression, turning her attention abruptly back to her drink. Colin brought the pitchers to him and placed them on a tray with two glasses. Aaron tossed a wad of cash onto the bar and snatched the tray from him.

  “Do you need some help there?” Colin called after him. Aaron kept walking.

  When he returned to the table, he saw that Joy and Jason had made themselves at home near the pool table in the next room. Joy was sitting on Jason’s lap and his hand was resting on her inner thigh. Lauren and Jack were all over each other. Considering their costumes, it was a mighty strange sight. Shilah and Avery sat across from them paying little attention to anyone but each other.

  Shilah and Avery left the table as an old woman in a cowboy hat ended her semi-decent version of “Fancy.” Shilah was packing his cigarettes. Aaron briefly considered taking up smoking to get away from Jack and Lauren, who continued their public displays of affection.

  “Maybe we shouldn’t have left Aaron with Lauren and Jack.” Avery muttered as she and Shilah walked out into the supremely brisk air of the evening. The water was illuminated by the lights of Port Frank across the river. Shilah attempted to light his cigarette but the wind was making it challenging. Avery moved to act as a human shield.

  “Aaron’s a big boy. I’m sure he can handle himself,” Shilah responded as he exhaled. Nicole’s confession about Aaron and Ryan’s fight popped into her mind and she frowned. She planned to confront him tonight when the opportunity presented itself.

  “Does it bother you that Jason came with Joy?” Shilah seemed to be studying her features by the light of his cigarette. Avery felt her face break into an amused grin.

  “Hell no! Boy, did Aaron seem surprised.”

  She saw his lips curve upward slightly and she tried not to stare directly at them.

  “What about you, Shilah? Do you have a stalker, too?” Proud of her nonchalant delivery, she held her breath as she waited for his response. She was rewarded with his perfect white smile.

  “Knowing what you told me about Paige, I almost did.” She mockingly slugged his shoulder. He laughed heartily. “No. No stalkers, girlfriend, or submissives.” Avery snorted and shook her head.

  “Aren’t we a couple of pathetic wallflowers?” Avery teeth chattered as she spoke. Shilah flicked his cigarette out into the dark.

  “Are you cold?” He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. Avery felt her heart jump to her throat as her body tingled at every point of contact. She seemed to fit against him perfectly, as if they were designed to be a set. His closeness and the way his arms felt around her nearly took her breath away.

  “Avery! Get that sweet ass up here. You’re next,” Sean bellowed into the mic. Avery and Shilah pulled apart suddenly and looked at each other in surprise.

  “Damn.” Shilah swore as Avery grudgingly turned and pulled him back into the bar by the hand. Once they approached their table, she took off for the stage in a rush.

  Aaron saw Avery and Shilah return. Shilah looked frustrated. The music started and when “Shut up and Let Me Go” by the Ting Tings flashed across the large projection screen, Lauren jumped to her feet and dragged Jack, Shilah, Aaron, and Jules onto the dance floor. Aaron danced awkwardly with The Mexican Grim Reaper, which was the preferable alternative to a Mobster, The Lone Ranger, and the Sweet Transvestite. Jules seemed really cool.

  Avery’s showmanship was rather sexy, and she worked the mic stand in a filthy manner. She made a huge production out of aiming the song at Jason. Shilah laughed and whistled appreciatively. Aaron noticed that Joy was watching him, and he ignored her. Lauren danced up to Jason and yelled, “Shut up and let me go!” as she pointed in his face. Jason looked like he wanted to flee.

  Meanwhile, Nicole made her way past the dance floor, a martini in hand and was yanked into the dancing crowd by Jules. Aaron admired her ivory décolletage peeking out from underneath her buttoned cape and nearly laughed when he noticed her hiking boots. She had leaves pinned in her braided hair, making it looks as if she’d been taken for a roll in the foliage with the big bad wolf. She refused to look at him and spun away, patiently tolerating Lauren's grinding dance moves. She made a break for the back of the bar.


  Avery’s song was over and the dance floor burst in applause. Shilah approached the stage, motioned for her to come closer, and grabbed her around the waist. He slid her suggestively down his body until their eyes met.

  Jack leaned over to Aaron and whispered. “He’s getting laid tonight.”

  Aaron smirked back, knowingly.

  As they all headed back to the table, Aaron was stopped in his tracks by Sean’s booming voice.

  “Oh no, Aaron. You can’t go just yet. We’re almost done here and you’ve got a song to sing. Who wants to hear Aaron Foster?”

  Aaron wanted to vanish as the crowd roared. A bit of a local celebrity, he could never show his face in the vicinity of a microphone without someone putting it in front of him. A glaring example of his claim to fame: he was forced to sing “I Can’t Help Falling in Love” at Nicole and Ryan’s wedding reception. It was their song, according to Ryan. Like so many other moments as a member of the supporting cast of “The Ryan and Nicole Show”, it had been torturous. He was in no mood to entertain a bunch of drunks and he had two women in the bar that wanted to stone him. Making a mental note to nard Sean, he reluctantly took the stage.

  “Can somebody bring me a beer please?” Lauren ran to him with a half a pitcher, which he held in one hand like it was a giant mug. He had slammed most of it when the music started and the familiar tune made his heart sink. Sean had put on one of his signature tunes. Unfortunately, it was Matchbox Twenty’s “Back 2 Good.” The lyrics to the morose song couldn’t have been more awkward, lamenting about what it’s like to be with somebody and have someone else on your mind. Thankful that Nicole had vanished, he sucked it up and did what was expected of him. As he performed, he couldn’t help but notice the admiration of the crowd and the uncomfortable glances amongst his table companions.

  During the last chorus, Nic emerged. She seemed to be intentionally hanging in the back of the crowd, but her gaze was fixed on him. As he brought the tune home, he tried not to look at her and failed.