The Perpetual Quest for the Perfect Life

by Pace, Michelle

  “Spreading yourself a little thin, aren’t you, Aaron?” She didn’t make eye contact with him. Aaron paused mid-bite, surprised at the speed with which Sandra went for the jugular.

  “Really, Mom?” Avery scoffed.

  “Good to see you too, Mrs. Harper.” Aaron heaved a sigh and continued to eat his bacon.

  “I hear you’ve been spending a lot of time at Nicole’s.”

  “And?”

  “I realize Nicole has to be lonely with O’Connell out of the picture. But you, Aaron, staying there overnight. It seems very inappropriate.” Aaron shook his head and tried not to let her words sting him. He’d known this woman for years and had expected this type of reaction from her. He was having a hard time not being offended for Nicole, though.

  Kind of ridiculous to get mad at a scorpion for stinging you.

  “Mom, it’s none of your business,” Avery interjected.

  “Actually, Avery, I think I’m entitled to be offended that my son’s best man is sniffing around his widow.” Her mother’s tone was clipped and her face seemed to light on fire.

  Avery gasped and looked to Aaron, who felt rage brewing inside him.

  “We’re grown ass adults, Sandra. We don’t need your blessing or permission.” His voice was calm and quiet. He was livid and he could see by the way Avery pushed back her chair that she knew it.

  “How could you, Aaron. Ryan loved her so much. She was his whole world. He made all of his plans around her.” She shot back at him. Aaron scooted his chair back with such force it scraped the floor loudly.

  “Oh yes, here we go!” Aaron snapped crazily. “Saint Ryan Harper.”

  Avery stepped between them. She looked Aaron dead in the eye.

  “I got this. Go home. I’ll be at your place in a couple hours.”

  Aaron stared Sandra down. Knowing he needed to leave before his mouth caused any more trouble, he grabbed his coat and bolted out the door.

  Avery spun to her mom.

  “Let me guess, you were driving by and you saw Aaron’s truck in the driveway.”

  “I was really hoping Nicole would be with him. I’d really like to give her a piece of my mind, as well.”

  “Why?”

  “For whoring around and parading all these men in front of my grandson.”

  Unable to contain her temper, Avery lost all control. “You’re the whore, Mother! I saw you walk out of that hotel room with that man. Funny place and time for a council meeting.”

  She watched reality crush her mother, and saw the wheels spinning behind her eyes as she tried to find an argument or alibi. Avery waited.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Her mother’s tone was quiet and calm.

  “Now I know where Ryan gets it. You need to see something important.” She marched her mother into the living room. As she queued up the DVD, Sandra slowly bent over the box of Ryan’s things and picked up the open pack of gum. Avery could see her mother’s hands shaking.

  As Ryan started speaking, Avery left the room. She walked into the kitchen, a strange sense of calm overtaking her. She scraped the plates into the garbage disposal and returned to the living room. The recording had ended, and her mother sat with her head buried in her hands.

  “He was always my favorite. I know mothers aren’t supposed to have one … but he was mine.”

  “We all know that, Mom.”

  “I owe Aaron an apology.” Her mother’s face looked so sincere, it stunned her.

  “Obviously.”

  Her mother shook her head. “And Nicole … I’ve blamed her for so long.”

  “What?” Avery felt genuinely confused.

  “He wouldn’t be dead if he hadn’t married her and moved to Chicago to be near her.” Sandra’s flat tone made Avery angry and sad.

  “He wouldn’t have died if he hadn’t been a doctor. He wouldn’t have died if he had just stayed home with Ike and Nic that day. Or maybe he would have. They were his choices, Mom. There are no guarantees.”

  “Can you bring me a glass of water?”

  Avery did as she asked. After greedily swallowing some down, she sighed.

  “I just don’t know how to fix this mess.” Her mother pulled out a pack of cigarettes. She lit one and Avery snatched the pack from her and did the same.

  “Step one, you’re ending whatever it is that’s going on at the hotel immediately.” Avery exhaled a fine line of smoke. “Then as the matriarch of the Harper family, you’re going to welcome Aaron with open arms. He’s proposing to Nicole. So unless you want Ike to spend every holiday with the Fosters, I suggest you learn to keep your mouth shut. I’m tired of your shit, and I know Nicole’s tired of it. Based on the election margin, I’m thinking the entire town is tired of you.”

  Her mother huffed. Neither said anything for a long time.

  A little smile appeared on Sandra’s face.

  “Where’s your roommate?” her mother asked.

  “He left yesterday. He’s tired of dealing with my shit.”

  “Jason always seemed to tolerate your moods so well.”

  “That’s because he was either drunk or gone. Why do you keep throwing him in my face?”

  Her mother sighed tiredly. “Avery, planning your wedding to Jason was the one time when I actually felt like you and I connected. It was refreshing. I miss it.”

  “If you’d just quit trying to mold me into what you want me to be, we might have a shot at a decent relationship.”

  They sat in silence, smoking.

  Avery looked at her mom. “Here’s the deal. If you get with the program, I won’t tell Dad, even though I really want to.”

  “You’re so much like your father.”

  “That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

  Nicole turned into the parking lot of Foster’s Farm and parked away from the chaos near the buildings. The place was packed. Three days before Christmas, late shoppers clamored to snag the last remaining trees and parents jockeyed for a spot in line to have their children’s picture taken with Santa.

  Ike had crashed on the ride out to the farm and Nicole put her Jeep in park and turned her radio down. As she watched a family packing up their freshly shaken tree and two children squealing happily as a horse pulled their sleigh, she took a quiet moment to herself to reflect on the past few weeks with Aaron.

  After his initial apprehension, Ike had warmed to Aaron, which both thrilled and frightened Nicole. Within two days, Aaron had taught Ike his colors, using balls from various sports as examples. Ike ran to Aaron every time he arrived and they roughhoused and fist bumped their way into fast friendship. At first, seeing them together disturbed her, their charisma reminded her so much of Ryan and Aaron in the early days. Though it squeezed her heart to see them happily munching popcorn and wresting around together, she worried about how Ike would respond if things didn’t work out.

  The majority of Jefferson Point had responded positively to the news that they were officially a couple. Aaron’s family enthusiastically accepted Nicole and they were overjoyed at the improvement in his mood. All the way in Florida, her mom had heard about them being together before Nic had a chance to tell her—impressive by even Jefferson Point standards.

  Nicole and Lauren had a makeup talk over chai tea and black coffee. Lauren had cited the anniversary of her mother’s death and insecurity about Jack as excuses for her bender. Uniquely empathetic on both counts, Nicole explained about Ryan’s infidelities and told Lauren she was ready to move past their falling out. Things on that front were back to normal.

  Though she’d emailed all of the Harpers right after Mitch left her house, she hadn’t heard a single peep from anyone but Avery and Angela.

  As she reflected back on Aaron’s late night phone call, she frowned. News of Ryan’s attempt to reunite with his friend was a poorly timed discovery. Aaron had been a wreck when he called the night before, but Avery assured her she’d look out for him. He’d called her this morning, asking he
r to bring Ike and come out to his place. This was a first. He’d sounded nervous and she tried not worry.

  She turned the Jeep off and climbed out. Pulling Ike from his seat, he snuggled into her and rested his blonde head on her shoulder. She wanted him to see Santa before she went to Aaron’s cottage, and the line seemed to be dying down. As she approached the barn, she spied Aaron chatting with customers as he helped them with their packages. His smile instantly warmed her chilled body. He seemed to sense her and turned in her direction. The look that crossed his face melted her fears.

  “Aaron!” Ike screamed in her ear, making Nicole jump. He wriggled until she let him down and raced to Aaron who swooped him up and tossed him high in the air. Ike giggled.

  “Have you seen Santa yet?” Nicole heard him ask Ike.

  “We were just getting in line.” She responded as he bent down to brush her lips with his.

  “All right. When you’re done, come on over. I have something cooking, so I have to go.”

  After waiting twenty minutes to watch Ike refuse to sit on Santa’s lap, she parked behind Aaron’s truck in front of the cottage. Aaron opened the door and Castle trotted out to greet them. Ike squealed as the large dog licked his face. As she entered the kitchen, she inhaled the savory scent of pot roast and saw that Aaron had made an attempt to set the table. Nicole noticed that a great deal of the furniture that had been there on her first visit was now missing.

  As they dug into cherry pie, Aaron cleared his throat.

  “Ike, I’ve been thinking…” he began thoughtfully.

  “God help us all,” Nicole joked. Aaron’s eyes twinkled as he smirked in her direction. He turned back to Ike, who cocked an eyebrow at Aaron as he held a spoon in one hand and ate pie with the other.

  “I think I need to make an honest woman of your mom.” Nicole’s eyes flew wide, but Aaron ignored her. “I know, I know it seems sudden. But between you and me, I’ve known her a lot of years and she’s a heck of a lot older than she looks.”

  Ike listened raptly to Aaron as he mauled at his pie, a huge red ring of cherry guts circling his mouth. Aaron turned to Nic, who felt her mouth hanging open.

  “Well?”

  “Are you … serious?” Everything seemed to grind to a halt. Aaron dropped out of his chair to one knee in front of her. He was eye to eye with her, and Nicole felt like her lungs were failing her, unable to expand to gather breath.

  “For once I’m totally serious. I want this to be our home. I want you two here with me at this table every night. We’ve missed so much time, Nic. So, will you?” Aaron pulled a ring out of nowhere and held it between them, tilting his head questioningly.

  Ike scoffed and muttered, “Silly Aaron.”

  Both Nicole and Aaron turned to Ike and snickered, then turned back to one another.

  Nicole searched his welcome, loving eyes. She found herself without any reservations and knew she was home.

  “What do you think, Ike?” she asked, her eyes glued to Aaron whose left dimple began to show itself. Ike made a loud raspberry sound in response. “Well, there’s your answer.”

  Aaron taunted her with a furrowed brow. “Say the words, Nicki.”

  Nicole rolled her eyes and happily wrapped her arms around his neck. “Yes, Aaron, I will.”

  Shilah leaned against the printer tiredly. He gathered up his copies and aggressively shoved them into his briefcase. It had been a very tense week at Gates Corp. On Monday, he’d presented Mr. Gates with the paper trail he’d compiled, evidence that someone was cutting corners. Shilah had traced it back to Jason and he knew that Jason’s father, being a savvy businessman, would figure it out soon. He wondered about the fallout of whistleblowing on the owner’s son, but he no longer cared. Jason was skimming money from the company and his blatant violation of regulations pissed Shilah off. It was now Friday afternoon, and he hadn’t heard a peep. He took a moment to pat himself on the back for not investing in property in Jefferson Point. He figured he’d be unemployed by New Year’s.

  He was packing up to leave the office, when he received an email that Jason was being reassigned to the Delaware office. Though he should have been smiling ear to ear, he took no pleasure in the news. He trudged to his car and took the winding, solitary drive to Jack and Lauren’s. He saw several vehicles parked in front of their turn-of-the-century farmhouse, and knew he was late for the poker game. Lauren answered the door and placed a hand on her hip.

  “I’m meeting Avery for drinks. Anything you want me to tell her?” Shilah rolled his eyes to the heavens as Jack called to her disapprovingly from the poker table.

  “Ah come on, woman. Leave the poor guy alone.”

  Shilah took his seat at the table, and Ron passed him a cold bottle of Budweiser. He took a seat across from Ron, between Aaron and Sean.

  “I just have to say one more thing…” Lauren continued as she put on her coat.

  “Lauren!” Jack sighed loudly.

  “Shut up, Jack.” She dismissed him dispassionately and turned to Shilah. “Nice timing on the breakup, right before Christmas. Suave move.”

  “Lauren, I really don’t need a lecture tonight.”

  “Oh, I disagree. But I’ve been sworn to secrecy, so you can just wallow here in misery with your poker buddies while I go try to mop up your mess.”

  She walked out, slamming the door loudly behind her.

  “Well, that was a fun killer.” Ron smiled, his gold tooth sparkling as he lit a cigar.

  “My wife, ladies and gentleman,” Jack agreed.

  Shilah couldn’t shake the image of Avery’s face when he announced he was leaving. He’d known something was terribly wrong, but he’d been too angry and too proud to ask her to confide in him for the thousandth time. She probably wouldn’t have told him anyway. In truth, he missed the hell out of her wicked, dry sense of humor and her amazing body. He thought of the turquoise necklace he’d bought for her on their trip that he still carried wrapped in his briefcase. He tried to tell himself that he didn’t love her, but he knew it was a lie. He pulled out his cell phone and selected her name. When her picture popped up, he couldn’t help but smile.

  “Why don’t you just call her?” Aaron asked, as he dealt the cards.

  His finger hovered over the call button, but he stopped himself and put the phone away.

  “She wouldn’t have anything to say to me anyway,” he replied and picked up his cards.

  “Avery’s had some hard pills to swallow lately. Doesn’t really seem like you gave her much of a chance.” Aaron tossed out the cards two at a time. Shilah raised an eyebrow in his direction.

  “I was tired of trying to be a mind reader,” Shilah replied as he appraised his cards.

  “Avery has always been very complicated. If you aren’t up for the challenge, it’s probably best you left when you did.” Aaron looked at his own cards and laid a couple down.

  “What is this, ‘fuck with Shilah’s head’ night?” He heaved a sigh.

  “Can we just play some cards? I would like to get home at a decent time and try to get laid.” Ron choked on smoke from his cigar.

  “How long has the ‘sex ban’ been this time?” Jack turned to Ron with a grin.

  “Two weeks. I can remember back in my heyday, I would have two girls a night. Are you sure you want to get married, Aaron?”

  “You’re getting married?” Shilah tossed down his cards.

  “Yep,” Aaron replied, picking up a couple of replacement cards. Shilah saw Aaron attempt to stifle a smile, but fail.

  “Kinda soon, don’t you think?” Shilah felt his face twist in disbelief. Aaron turned to him with a smartass grin.

  “You think we should get to know each other better first?”

  “Are you folding, or what?” Ron asked Shilah grumpily, and Shilah nodded, going to the fridge for another beer.

  Sean’s phone began to ring and Aaron laughed at his ringtone “Damn it’s good to be a Gansta.”

  “What’s up, boy’o?
I’m trying to win some money.” Sean blurted into the phone. His expression turned instantly serious. “Shit.”

  Everyone at the table was watching him as the one-sided conversation continued.

  “I’ll be there in thirty. Call the cops if you have to.” He flipped has phone closed.

  “What’s up, buttercup?” Ron asked.

  “That was Colin. I guess Jason and a couple of his sidekicks are at the bar, trying to start shit with anyone who walks by their table. It’s getting busy and he may need some assistance with crowd control.”

  “Let’s go watch Jason get his ass thrown out.” Jack blurted excitedly to Shilah who nodded.

  “You’ll be happy to know I put Shilah in his place tonight.” Lauren bit into a French fry. They’d met at The Captain’s Cove for appetizers and drinks, since Nicole insisted O’Connell’s seemed gauche.

  “Ugh, Lauren,” Avery replied, looking from Lauren to Jules. “Can we just not talk about men tonight?”

  “I had to do it. Ditching you three days before Christmas? He’s lucky I didn’t kick him in the nuts.”

  “He came into CoffeeSmith’s yesterday. He seems really sad,” Jules interjected.

  “It’s my fault. I pushed him away.” She let her mind drift back to Arizona, and when he first said he loved her. His three little words made her both scared and elated. She wished they’d never seen her mother at the hotel. Mother … Jason … Ryan … it was impossible for Avery to hear the word love without thinking of disappointment.

  “He reminds me so much of me when I was in the Air Force. I didn’t give a shit. I was totally like ‘next!’ Jack was the one everyone wanted. I didn’t have time to chase after him. It was way too much work. Life’s too short,” Lauren said.

  “Yeah, yeah, everyone thinks Shilah’s all that.” Avery sipped down the last of her cocktail as the waiter handed her another. She handed him a twenty. “Keep ‘em coming.”

  “Well, what’s not to love? I’m gay, and I wanted to lick his face,” Jules commented as she poured herself another glass of beer. Avery, who was in the process of taking a drink, nearly gagged on the liquid, as she chuckled. Jules winked at her.