Finding Wicked

by Kathryn L. James

  Later that afternoon, Garrett and I sat next to each other on the sofa, his arm casually draped around my shoulder. Surrounded by his family, he stretched his long legs out, propping his bare feet up on the coffee table, and I curled mine up underneath me.

  “Garrett told me this amazing yacht was chartered,” I said, smiling at Mrs. Mitchell.

  “The boys chartered it as soon as we received word…” She faltered for a beat. “As soon as we were notified there was a possibility the plane had gone down. John and I own a smaller version.”

  Garrett looked straight ahead through the windows. He was quiet and disconnected, as if a million miles away.

  “I saw the picture of the gazebo in the park. It’s magnificent.” Mrs. Mitchell’s brown eyes twinkled at Garrett. She was one of the most beautiful women I’d ever seen. Between her and Mr. Mitchell, they couldn’t have helped but have the most handsome sons on the planet.

  “I haven’t seen it yet.” He shrugged.

  “Oh darling, you have to make a point to stop by soon.” She paused. “Your dad and I are so very proud of what you did for the city.”

  I narrowed my eyes, not following the conversation. “What gazebo?”

  “She doesn’t know?”

  “Know what?” I looked back and forth between them.

  “It’s nothing.” Garrett shrugged. “Has the captain given an update on what time we’ll reach the port tomorrow?”

  Gammy spoke up. “Son, it is something. I would do anything for your grandfather to see what you boys have become. John Frank would have driven the men crazy on the golf course boasting about what you’ve done. He would have been proud of you.” She was clearly choking up.

  Garrett rolled his eyes at the unwanted attention.

  “Obviously he’s not going to tell you, but Garrett paid for yet another monumental piece for the city. He had a massive gazebo built in a park downtown, and it’s absolutely gorgeous. Sonya, the city manager, said the Stefano Lussa Orchestra has already reserved it during Christmas for a lawn concert. Can you believe that? Stefano Lussa!” Mrs. Mitchell beamed.

  “Oh my God, Garrett! I’ve heard about how beautiful it is! I didn’t know you did that.” I lit up.

  He took a swig of beer without so much as a smile. Garrett Mitchell lived by his own rules, and only those really close to him had ever witnessed his kind and selfless gestures. Most only saw the ruthless side of him—what he wanted them to see.

  “What about the estimated time of arrival? Anyone have an update?” he asked, his tone clearly cutting and dismissive.

  “Garrett Liam, what’s with your foul mood?” Gammy intervened with a snarky voice. She cut her eyes over at her grandson, wearing a matter-of-fact expression. “It doesn’t really matter what time we sail into the harbor, now does it? I’m certain your calendar has been cleared until further notice. Son, you need to pull out the stick shoved up your butt and adjust your attitude.”

  I wanted to laugh and hug her. It was quite the moment, witnessing the slight woman who barely weighed a hundred pounds take a six-plus-foot giant of a man down a notch or two.

  However, my inner celebration didn’t last long.

  Garrett briskly stood up, leaned over, and kissed my cheek before walking around the table, doing the same to Gammy and his mother. “I apologize for my lousy mood. I’m just tired. If you’ll excuse me.”

  He disappeared through the open French doors. The sad expression in his eyes haunted me, and my insides churned. I felt like a lioness wanting to protect her lion, her king.

  “If you’ll excuse me. I’m going to try to reach my aunt.”

  In the privacy of the sunroom, I spoke to Aunt Jilly. My mom had been taken off the ventilator and had been downgraded to a post-surgical floor. I wanted to hear her voice but forbid Aunt Jilly to wake her from a nap. We ended the call after she promised to be in touch if my mom’s condition changed.

  Now down to business.

  I marched in the same direction Garrett had headed in earlier.

  Walking along the rail in the beaming mid-afternoon sunshine, my mind debated about how to handle him. I weighed out whether I should let him be or drill down and make him open up about his and Avery’s argument. It clearly had taken a toll on him.

  I found him reclining on a chaise lounge almost the size of a twin mattress on a deck located at the front of the ship. He lay stretched out with his hands behind his head, wearing those sexy-as-hell aviator sunglasses.

  God, what a vision.

  For endless, silent seconds, I stared at him with my mind running crazy. I knew he’d been upset that morning, but I also knew I had been at the center of his thoughts as I came apart at his command. I blushed thinking about bringing myself to orgasm using my own fingers because he’d told me to. His bulging hardness pressing into my ass and the lust from his slaying eyes had only intensified my internal need to follow his orders and let him watch the show.

  I eased into the paired chair next to him and he stared across the horizon, not acknowledging my presence at all.

  “Did you find out what time we reach the port?”

  “No.” He wore a scowl.

  “What’s going on? What happened between you and Avery that has you this upset?”

  “Nothing for you to worry about.”

  “It’s hard to ignore your foul mood.”

  He wasn’t the same warm man he’d been on the island, but he wasn’t the arrogant CEO I’d first met at Mitchell Enterprises either. I’d fallen in love with both sides of him, and I knew I could handle the cocky boss, but I couldn’t handle this—him shutting out everyone who cared about him.

  Garrett let out a sigh. “I live a calculated, analytical life. I run on tight schedules and always know what’s going to happen beforehand. I expect everyone to follow my orders, and I’m happy being in control of everything in my life…except with you. You’re the one thing I didn’t plan, and I damn sure never expected you to happen. With you, I’m not in control—you are. You control me, and I don’t know how to deal with that.”

  When my nerves reached their peak, I felt wrecked. He words shocked me, surprised me, and made my heart beat madly in my chest.

  I control him? Me, control him?

  “It’s not Avery…it’s me,” I said aloud, as if saying it would make me believe it.

  “It’s always been you.” His tone was gruff.

  “And you don’t know how to accept it? Or you don’t know how to deal with your feelings?”

  “No. I know what I want—it’s something I can’t have. I lost you before I ever had you.”

  “You haven’t lost me. Why do you think you can’t have me, Garrett?”

  “Because there will come a time when you think you hate me.”

  He abruptly stormed away, leaving me more confused than ever.

  What the fucking hell?

  I sat in the breeze with emotional whiplash for a long while, trying to make sense of his riddles. He cared; he didn’t. He wanted me; he couldn’t have me. He wanted more; he wanted less. I cared for him now but I would hate him later.

  What the fucking hell? Did he think he was the only one in uncharted waters?

  One person had the answers. One person knew what was going on.

  Avery.

  I found her cuddled next to Stone on a lounger at the back of the ship near the bright red helicopter perched on its landing pad. He drank from a bottle of water as she flipped through a fashion magazine, pointing at one of the pictures.

  “Hey,” I called out with a shaky voice. “Sorry to disturb you.”

  They both looked up, and she offered a small wave. “Hey.”

  “Do you have a minute so I could speak to you in private, Avery?”

  “Sure.” She stood up, tossing the magazine into the spot she’d been curled up in. “I’ll be back in a bit.”

  “My brother being his usual—an ass?” He winked.

  If he only knew…or maybe he did.

 
“Nothing I can’t handle.” Liar.

  Avery led me to the second-floor balcony in silence.

  “Look, we don’t know each other at all, but you said something yesterday that I can’t get out of my head.”

  She arched her eyebrow. “What was that?”

  “About seeing the way Garrett feels about me. I…feel that way about him.”

  “I know. It’s so obvious, my little Savannah would already have it figured out.”

  “There’s something going on with him. The thing is, I never wanted to feel this way again, but he’s unlike anyone I’ve ever known. I knew from the beginning he didn’t want a relationship leading to anything more than what we are. I should have known better, should have stopped this before we ever got started.”

  Avery frowned. “What do you mean?”

  “On the island we agreed to be exclusive, and that’s all we’ll ever be—dating exclusively. He never wanted commitment, and now he’s pushing me away.”

  That made her laugh. “I swear the Mitchell DNA runs the exact same through Chad and Garrett. It’s like they’re identical twins mirroring each other. Thankfully Stone wasn’t ever that idiotic.”

  “Garrett’s making me crazy.”

  “Because you’re in love with him.”

  “I didn’t want…to fall in love, but I did, and something is eating at him…something I can’t figure out.”

  There! I’d admitted it and said the L word out loud.

  “What do you mean something’s eating at him?” She tilted her head to the side.

  “This morning when I came down the stairs, I heard you two arguing. Now he’s being distant, and he said something I can’t shake off. I don’t see how it can be connected to you two, but…there’s a nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach telling me it is, saying you know what’s going on.”

  “What did he say to you?” She swallowed hard.

  “That there’s going to come a time when I will think I hate him.”

  She crossed her arms and seemed hesitant. I knew her loyalty was with him, but I still had to try.

  “Brooke, there was a time when I thought I hated Stone. For five long years, I lived with a mixture of hating him and loving him so much I thought I would die, but that’s a long story for another time. The thing is, when your soul mate does everything in their power to protect the one person they love, decisions may be made that aren’t the wisest or smartest. It’s okay to be angry or hurt, but no matter how hard you try, it’s impossible to hate them. You can be mad, and it’s okay to be pissed. In the end, it’s called forgiveness.”

  “What’s with you people? You all speak in riddles. Are you saying he’s done something?”

  “Just know this family will stop at nothing to protect their own. It’s in their blood. The men will go to lengths you can’t begin to fathom for their women. I swear there isn’t a storm more violent than a pissed-off Mitchell, no wild animal more fierce and protective of their mate.”

  “What has he done? It isn’t possible for me to hate him.”

  “In time it’ll all make sense. My advice is to not push him right now. He is in love with you, of that I’m certain. Garrett is in over his head right now because he hasn’t accepted how he feels, and for the first time in his life, he’s lost. He’s scared shitless, scared he’s going to lose you.” She paused before continuing, “I’ve probably said far too much. The rest you have to get from him.”

  Chapter 22

  “Because there will come a time when you think you hate me.”

  Nothing made sense.

  He didn’t, and neither did Avery.

  I paced the length of the ship from front to back, around to the other side, up the stairs and down. I didn’t give one ounce of a damn if his family watched through the glass walls and thought I was a stark raving lunatic for the miles I’d walked aboard the yacht.

  Garrett hadn’t returned, and I assumed he was in the stateroom avoiding contact with me. What the hell had happened? One minute the air crackled with fireworks, the next I was lost in frustration trying to solve a fucking mystery.

  “He is in love with you, of that I’m certain. Garrett is in over his head right now because he hasn’t accepted how he feels, and for the first time in his life, he’s lost. He’s scared shitless, scared he’s going to lose you.”

  I closed my eyes and tears slipped out from beneath my eyelids—tears of fear, of love, tears for the unknown, for a love possibly doomed before it ever had a chance to bloom. My track record with romance consisted of nothing more than misery and pain, leaving me with the remnants of a shattered heart.

  Garrett was going to finish me off.

  Fuck love.

  This was the very reason I hadn’t wanted to fall in love, the reason I didn’t date and had planned to stay single the rest of my life.

  Avery’s words replayed in my mind, making me stumble and grasp the railing. Looking across the sea at nothing, I ran my hands along my arms, which were coated in goose bumps. The windy afternoon had turned cooler, but I was certain the texture of my flesh had nothing to do with the weather.

  I remembered how warm and gentle Garrett had been on the island, how he’d looked at me and made me feel beautiful by the thirst in his gaze alone. I remembered how he’d danced with me at the edge of the water under the silver moon, how his hands had felt at the small of my back and how they’d teased and tortured my skin. I remembered his lips on every inch of my body and how I’d screamed his name unrelentingly.

  He’d branded my soul and tattooed my heart on that island.

  Memories of every single minute we’d shared flooded my mind. I tried to figure out the exact moment when I’d fallen for him. Maybe it was the first time we danced on the shore on our first date, or maybe in St. Thomas when he’d kissed me on the deck after we’d both had too much to drink.

  I cracked a smile. Who was I kidding? I may have fallen head over heels the first time I saw him in HR, when he stood against the window behind Cordelia’s desk like he ruled the universe.

  Faltering, I gripped the railing so tight my hands blanched, and I jerked my head up to stare into the horizon. I cursed fate, cursed it for the cruel joke of giving me something I had to let go of.

  We were never meant to be forever, but I didn’t want him to be yesterday so soon.

  Garrett wasn’t Jason—not even close. He’d been honest about everything…until now. Now he ran from the fucking truth.

  “What are you keeping from me, Garrett?” I whispered into the salty breeze.

  Did it matter? Was it truly something so bad I’d hate him?

  Was it possible for me to hate him?

  More of Avery’s words swept into my thoughts, and I closed my eyes, absorbing them.

  “The thing is, when your soul mate does everything in their power to protect the one person they love, decisions may be made that aren’t the wisest or smartest. It’s okay to be angry or hurt, but no matter how hard you try, it’s impossible to hate them. You can be mad, and it’s okay to be pissed. In the end, it’s called forgiveness.”

  “Forgive what?” I demanded.

  Shoving away from the rail, I knew the battle to find out was about to begin. Crossing the deck, I felt like I was in the eye of a category five hurricane, about to jump through the eye wall and into the next surge of the violent storm that was Garrett Mitchell.

  In a matter of seconds, I barged inside the stateroom we were sharing. It was empty, completely void of all things Garrett. His suitcase no longer lay on the sofa. His shoes no longer sat on the floor. I walked into the bathroom, finding none of his toiletries.

  He was gone.

  I slung open the adjoining door to where he had been supposed to sleep—nothing.

  It was a picture-perfect room with a pristinely made bed that obviously had not been slept in, and there wasn’t a trace of his belongings.

  What the hell?

  I took the stairs two at a time then barged into the living area. J
ovial laughter filled the space as Gammy told a story. All eyes turned toward me as I made my hasty entry, panting.

  “Where is he?” I bit out with urgency.

  No one spoke at first.

  “I need to talk to Garrett. Does anyone know where he is?”

  His dad cleared his throat. “He’s asked for complete privacy tonight. He’s resting.”

  “You can either tell me or I’ll bang on every door until I find him myself.”

  “You can try, but I assure you he won’t answer. He’s resting.” John Mitchell pinned me with an icy stare as if daring me to challenge him again.

  Gammy rose from the chair, her honest eyes locked on mine. “He needs a good night’s rest without any of us interrupting. Please respect this so perhaps in the morning he’ll be back to normal. This took more of a toll on him than any of us thought.”

  Bullshit.

  While whatever had happened had taken a toll on him, it was more than that. My eyes landed on Avery—she was likely the only one in the room who knew the truth. She darted her gaze away and maintained a stubborn expression.

  “Give him time,” Gammy called out in a soft voice.

  Time.

  I knew more than anyone about time and patience. My mother’s prognosis had taught me the hard lesson of waiting, but this had nothing to do with time. It had to do with him being a coward and running from the truth.

  “When will we be in St. Thomas?”

  “I just spoke with the captain—in the morning around ten,” Stone answered.

  “I’m not sure I told you all, but thank you for everything.”

  “Nonsense. We’re all so glad you two were found in one piece,” Mrs. Mitchell answered.

  “Would you like a sandwich? I made some chicken salad a little while ago,” Gammy asked.

  I nodded, though I didn’t have much of an appetite. “That would be nice, thank you. Afterward I’d like to call my mother before getting some rest myself.”

  “I’ll help you.” Gammy turned toward the kitchen.

  “Oh no, I can manage.”

  “Hush now, it’ll give me something to do.”