Bang Bang Bang

by Stella Feehily

  MATHILDE. Who is this guy?

  SADHBH. Don’t pay any heed to him.

  RONAN. That’s all Congo needs.

  Another mental female with a big heart.

  VIN delivers RONAN’s beer.

  Vin, meet Sadhbh Kavanagh – very senior human rights researcher here in Congo. /

  And her glamorous assistant Mathilde Rolla.

  You should pick their brains on Masisi.

  VIN. Hi. Hi.

  Oh, really?

  MATHILDE. We’ve just come from there.

  RONAN. Whose party is this anyway?

  SADHBH. Did you never meet Romy – big tall dark-haired girl – / Doctor with the Red Cross?

  MATHILDE (to VIN). We’ve just been investigating.

  RONAN. She’s Irish?

  SADHBH. She’s putting us / up for a few nights.

  VIN (to MATHILDE). Sorry?

  MATHILDE (to VIN). In Masisi. The attack on the Hutu –

  RONAN. Dr Romy from Kinlough? Indeed. I know her intimately.

  SADHBH. Of course you do. /

  Hit me again.

  VIN (to MATHILDE). I’d love to talk to you about it.

  RONAN pours them another shot.

  The music flares up.

  SADHBH. So what’s next?

  VIN. What’s your NGO?

  MATHILDE. What?

  RONAN. I’m doing a feature for the Irish Times. / Travelling to Masisi tomorrow with a team from Concern.

  MATHILDE (to VIN). Let’s move outside.

  SADHBH. I bump into them every day. / Any of them here?

  He turns around to look.

  RONAN. Maybe not. We have a / 6 a.m. start.

  VIN (to MATHILDE). Great.

  VIN and MATHILDE move away from RONAN and SADHBH.

  RONAN. You’ve just come from Masisi?

  SADHBH. A bad bad scene.

  How long are you there for?

  RONAN. If I get a story quick enough I may well be back in Dublin by Thursday. I want to get back to the wee fella.

  SADHBH. Is your ex letting you see him now?

  RONAN. After much legal wrangling.

  He takes out his phone and shows her his screen saver.

  There’s Seanie.

  SADHBH looks at the picture.

  I’ve cleaned up my act, I’m not drinking as much. The New York Times picked up my last couple of articles.

  Slowly but surely – it’s a fucker, you know?

  The wee fella is playing his first football match tomorrow and I’m not there.

  SADHBH. So change job.

  RONAN. Fuck that.

  They knock back the shots.

  Any stories for me?

  SADHBH. I interviewed Colonel Jerome Mburame.

  RONAN. Get the fuck out! How did you manage that?

  SADHBH. He found me.

  RONAN. Ahhh – squeezed you in between pillaging and raping?

  The dote.

  SADHBH. His army boots are polished to a Sandhurst shine.

  His English is superb.

  Better than mine.

  RONAN. And he’s an out-and-out mad bollix.

  SADHBH. He says he’s protecting his people from a second genocide.

  RONAN. Amazing how he’s managing to get rich on it.

  Nothing to do with tin and tantalum mines then!

  So, Miss Kavanagh. Hanging with Mr Warlord?

  Madness and chaos. Living on the edge, baby.

  You love all that.

  SADHBH. I never stop loving it. This is true.

  Nothing feels more right than to do the work.

  You – on the other hand – are a jealous alcoholic hack.

  You’d eat your arm off for a chat with Mburame.

  RONAN. Only my mother knows me as well as you do.

  Where is he?

  SADHBH. Go fuck yourself.

  RONAN drinks a shot.

  RONAN. Funnily enough I was thinking isn’t it about time we had a ride?

  SADHBH. Classy, Ronan. Classy. I did tell you Stephen was coming tomorrow?

  RONAN. I’ll be the warm-up act. You’re a fine thing. I am not too appalling. And I bet you’re in severe need of a ride.

  SADHBH. Strangely – I’m not in severe need of a ride – but I tell you what I will do?

  RONAN. What?

  SADHBH. I’ll get us a proper drink. Jägermeister is making me feel queasy.

  The music gets a little louder.

  SADHBH turns around to look for MATHILDE.

  RONAN. Who are you looking for?

  SADHBH. My assistant.

  RONAN. She’s fucked off with the young fella.

  RONAN notes SADHBH’s change of mood.

  You okay?

  SADHBH shrugs.

  SADHBH. Been a rough few weeks.

  RONAN pulls SADHBH in.

  RONAN. Don’t go.

  RONAN snogs SADHBH.

  The music gets louder.

  The party gets wilder and wilder until –

  Music quietens.

  SADHBH is passed out on the couch. Some people leave the party. MATHILDE (drunk, stoned and emotional) is sitting beside VIN (who is off his face and is trying to roll a joint).

  VIN. There’s gotta be purpose – / you know?

  MATHILDE. Of course.

  VIN. Purpose behind the image.

  Iss the face. / Very powerful.

  Yours iss… I’d kiss it if only one of them would stop moving.

  They giggle and try to kiss.

  MATHILDE. Face-power.

  VIN. This is the baddest / shit.

  MATHILDE. Bad is good.

  VIN. Bad is superb.

  The taxi driver / sold it to me.

  The fucking taxi driver.

  They explode with laughter.

  MATHILDE. The taxi driver.

  They laugh which turns into a giggle.

  They giggle.

  VIN. Suuuuperrrrb.

  MATHILDE. Oh my God. I’m really whooo. (Giggles.) Really.

  Wow. Hmm… I’d like to –

  I mean I’m… (Rubs VIN’s arm.)

  I’m laughing. I haven’t laughed for a month.

  VIN. I’m drawn to conflict. (Bursts out laughing.)

  And extremes of human experience. (Laughs.)

  MATHILDE (laughing). So am I.

  VIN giggles at his badly made joint.

  I love your accent. Where are you from?

  VIN. Tring.

  Iss in Hertfordshire. (Touches his heart.)

  MATHILDE. Trrrring – Hertfordshire England.

  Oh my God – / beautiful.

  VIN passes MATHILDE a whiskey bottle, which she swigs from.

  VIN. I would like to live with you.

  You’re wunnerful.

  MATHILDE. I have never had this much to drink in my life.

  I’ve never had this much bad shit.

  She giggles.

  The Irish – they drink – fall down.

  And then all is okay.

  She strokes SADHBH’s hair. SADHBH stirs a little.

  But / not me.

  VIN. I’m okay. You’re okay.

  Can I live with you?

  MATHILDE giggles. She touches his hand.

  MATHILDE. I feel I would like to make love.

  VIN tries to light the joint.

  No. Don’t try to light this –

  They both giggle.

  I warn you – I cry in my sleep.

  Suddenly MATHILDE cries.

  VIN. Hey. Hey.

  He comforts her.

  She takes the joint and tidies it up.

  MATHILDE. I have so much stress. (Stops crying and starts giggling uncontrollably.)

  VIN. I feel a bit – I’m a bit – What do you? You wanna – / (Rubs his face.) it’s my jaw… can’t really feel it…

  MATHILDE. If we fuck it doesn’t have to be a big drama.

  She lights the joint. She draws deeply.

  VIN. And then we’ll live togethe
r?

  MATHILDE. Of course we’ll leave together. You don’t think I’m gonna fuck you right here on the floor? / We just have to get up the stairs.

  They start to giggle.

  VIN. No I mean – living – living.

  You, me –

  They giggle again.

  MATHILDE. I don’t know what you’re saying. We go up the stairs? Stairs?

  They giggle. MATHILDE passes VIN the joint. He draws deeply.

  I’m a bit hairy. That might frighten you, English photographer from Tring.

  MATHILDE giggles.

  Or maybe it’s sexy –

  VIN draws on the joint again.

  Yes. Let’s fuck. But if you thought you know?

  I could have a quick – If I could find a razor.

  MATHILDE giggles.

  MATHILDE takes the joint. VIN finds himself in a bad way.

  VIN. Mathilde… I need to. Sorry. I’m not up to it… it’s I – think I’m going to be –

  VIN dashes off to puke. He only manages to get to the back of the couch.

  He up-chucks to the end of the scene.

  MATHILDE. Okay.

  I don’t need love.

  I don’t need LOVE to justify my existence.

  I’m part of life you know.

  It’s all here.

  Two

  The following day.

  The same space – which, in the light of day, is completely trashed.

  SADHBH is on the sofa and is extremely hung-over.

  INNOCENT enters.

  INNOCENT. Excuse, madame. It’s Innocent. I clean for Madame Romy.

  SADHBH. Come in.

  INNOCENT. Pardonnez moi pour le retard. Ma soeur, elle est malade.

  J’ai dû l’emmener à l’hôpital.

  SADHBH. Je suis désolée, Innocent. I hope it’s not serious.

  INNOCENT. Please God, madame. / Please God.

  SADHBH. I’m so sorry it’s such a mess.

  Je vais t’aider.

  She gets up a little too quickly.

  Oh.

  INNOCENT. Sit. Sit.

  Leave that for me.

  Je vais arranger ça pour Mme Romy.

  You have morning sickness. Yes?

  SADHBH. What?

  INNOCENT. I am the expert.

  I have seven children.

  I always know.

  SADHBH. No, no. Not me.

  From off.

  STEPHEN. Hello? Hello?

  INNOCENT. Yes, madame. I will make you a tisane.

  Please one moment.

  INNOCENT lets STEPHEN in and then backs out of the room.

  SADHBH. You made it.

  STEPHEN drops his bag and takes off his jacket.

  STEPHEN. I saw them all on my way – the seekers, the preachers, profiteers, disaster junkies.

  He leans over and kisses SADHBH.

  SADHBH. Familiar faces then.

  I almost don’t recognise you in your suit.

  You play the part well.

  STEPHEN. This is me, Sadhbh. I am that guy in the suit.

  He looks around.

  Humanitarians by day – wannabe seventeen-year-olds by night.

  SADHBH. One night is hardly living like seventeen-year-olds.

  STEPHEN. There’s vomit behind the couch.

  SADHBH. Are you serious?

  SADHBH gets up to have a look.

  SADHBH tries to find something to clean up the mess.

  It all got a bit out of hand.

  STEPHEN. Sadhbh, it always gets a bit out of hand.

  You know that.

  SADHBH. I feel so awful.

  STEPHEN. Have you not learned that R and R stands for rest and recreation?

  SADHBH. Sweetheart, you sound middle-aged.

  STEPHEN. Hoo-ray.

  I’m delighted I’m not puking my ring up after an ICRC party.

  SADHBH. How was your flight?

  STEPHEN. Uncomfortable.

  I hitched a ride on a UN Boeing. Unfortunately our pilot intends to fly back to Dar Es Salaam this evening.

  SADHBH. You can’t stay?

  STEPHEN. I’ve got to be in London by Monday.

  Pause.

  I have a lunch at the Dutch Embassy.

  SADHBH is very disappointed.

  SADHBH. Of course you do.

  STEPHEN. I have to be there. I hate it but, you know –

  SADHBH. I hope you’re teaching that unmentionable to be a good corporate citizen?

  STEPHEN. Sure.

  SADHBH. Do tell all about the Jolly Yellow Giant and its further misadventures in human rights?

  STEPHEN. This conversation invariably ends in verbal – directed at me. Can we not…?

  Pause.

  Where’s Romy?

  SADHBH. At the clinic. We have the place to ourselves – and there is Mathilde, of course.

  STEPHEN. How’s she doing?

  SADHBH. Better than I expected.

  STEPHEN. I did wonder how she’d cope.

  SADHBH. Cope? She’s spent this morning having noisy sex with a young man she met last night – that only hours ago was barfing in the bathroom.

  STEPHEN. Ah – banging and barfing – those were the days.

  SADHBH. Do you want to go to bed? You look exhausted.

  STEPHEN. I want to talk.

  SADHBH. Okay.

  Oh my – Oh –

  SADHBH gags.

  STEPHEN. You okay?

  SADHBH. Jägermeister, beer – (Gestures behind the couch.) puke.

  She gets up.

  STEPHEN. Just leave it.

  SADHBH. I can’t have Innocent cleaning up puke.

  STEPHEN. I’m sure he’s cleaned up worse.

  SADHBH. That is not my puke.

  STEPHEN. I’m not sitting here with it steaming behind me.

  I’ve got a paper in my bag.

  He goes to his briefcase.

  Why don’t I just – Are you okay?

  SADHBH. Yeah.

  STEPHEN lays some newspaper at the back of the couch.

  He starts to pick up bits and pieces to clear a space for himself.

  SADHBH lies back on the couch.

  STEPHEN sits beside her and she puts her head on his lap.

  She holds his hand.

  Hello.

  STEPHEN. Hello.

  VIN enters – barefoot, shirtless and wearing jeans – rubbing his chest and pulling at his hair.

  VIN. Morning.

  STEPHEN raises his hand in greeting.

  VIN wanders around.

  I think – I left… my shit down here –

  STEPHEN (to SADHBH). Not that as well.

  SADHBH starts to giggle.

  VIN searches around SADHBH and STEPHEN. He reaches underneath STEPHEN’s legs.

  VIN. Sorry.

  STEPHEN. You alright?

  SADHBH. This it?

  SADHBH pulls a small pouch from the couch.

  VIN. Cool. Yeah.

  He wanders off and then stops.

  Do you guys want a smoke?

  STEPHEN and SADHBH. No.

  SADHBH. Thanks.

  He wanders off.

  VIN. No worries.

  STEPHEN. Mathilde’s playmate?

  SADHBH. It appears so.

  STEPHEN. What else have you been up to?

  SADHBH. What do you mean?

  STEPHEN. You’ve talked to Jerome Mburame.

  Come on. Tell me.

  SADHBH. He wanted to know if I had enough to indict him.

  STEPHEN. I’m sure he’s cacking himself.

  I wish you had a sense of self-preservation.

  SADHBH. He was not hostile.

  STEPHEN. Not to you. You haven’t got enough on him.

  SADHBH. Yet. You’re right. The women are afraid –

  Many are in terrible physical state –

  The brutality of the rapes… and then the psychological damage. But the Mama – my contact at the camp – has found witnesses who want to talk to me
.

  STEPHEN. That’s a result.

  SADHBH. The thing is – I feel – in a way – he’s been warned.

  STEPHEN. No, Sadhbh – you’ve been warned.

  So how long will this investigation take?

  SADHBH. How long is a piece of string?

  STEPHEN. You said three months max.

  SADHBH. And I meant it, but I have a responsibility here.

  STEPHEN. There are plenty of other researchers.

  SADHBH. Yes but they’re local and you know they face intimidation and violence in the way that I don’t. Now that Bibi has left I’m the most senior researcher.

  STEPHEN. I came here today with an agenda.

  SADHBH. I’m a bit afraid.

  STEPHEN. Don’t be.

  SADHBH. Do you want to leave me?

  STEPHEN. You’re the one who leaves.

  I’ve been offered a six-month contract in Beijing.

  $85,000 plus per diems plus an apartment.

  SADHBH. Holy fuck. Wow.

  Does this have anything to do with your lunch / at the Dutch Embassy?

  STEPHEN. I need to be able to indicate my interest. /

  I don’t want to go without you.

  SADHBH. Oh. Oh.

  I see. I see.

  China is hardly my area / of expertise.

  STEPHEN. You were serious about stopping fieldwork?

  SADHBH. I didn’t say I’d stop working.

  STEPHEN. You’ve changed your mind?

  SADHBH. There is a little girl. Amala. I made her a promise.

  STEPHEN. You’re using that as an excuse?

  SADHBH. Fuck right off.

  STEPHEN shakes his head.

  Why are you shaking your head?

  STEPHEN. There’s always going to be an Amala, or the little boy or the fourteen-year-old or the thirty-five-year-old, or the elderly lady or the dying man –

  SADHBH. I know.

  STEPHEN. – but there won’t always be me.

  SADHBH. So you keep threatening.

  SADHBH thumps STEPHEN.

  STEPHEN. I’m not threatening – (Fends off her thump.)

  I am serious.

  SADHBH thumps him again.

  Hit me again and I’ll hit you back.

  STEPHEN stops SADHBH.

  He holds down her arms.

  I’ll finally be in a decent financial situation.

  We could think about a home not an apartment.

  Having a family –

  Six months together is what / we need.

  SADHBH. It’s still six months in China taking dirty money.

  STEPHEN. For fuck’s sake, Sadhbh – grow up!

  These are our lives! Our lives.

  We either spend them apart –

  SADHBH. I’ll think.

  STEPHEN. – or together – not this in-between.

  SADHBH. I’ll think. I’ll think.

  STEPHEN. I need more than that. I need an answer.

  Before I get on the plane tonight.

  Silence. SADHBH looks away.