How To Steal A Highlander

by Olivia Norem

  As quickly as the enchanted fog dispersed, it gathered and swirled again, hovering into a thick cloud around Isobel’s corpse.

  Four gasps and one soft whine echoed across the walls as, within the heavy veil, a brilliant light began to glow. Kat’s fingers clutched hard onto Simeon’s tartan, their faces bathed in ethereal light.

  It was a woman, yet not a woman, hovering within the haze. The veil of light spoke in chiming sounds of harmony, reminiscent of the most beautiful choir.

  “Trobhad, Clootie. Come.” The hound slunk forward and knowingly deposited the mirror at her feet, or, where her feet should have been.

  All four jaws dropped slack.

  “Our thanks, Ian Goldman. Guard this sword well.” The sword of power floated across the cave. Ian bowed low and took it with reverence.

  Another disembodied hand outstretched and lifted the mirror, now glowing with an otherworldly light. Every splinter and fragment of the gemstone that had scattered across the cave converged to the mirror until the stone was whole once more. A brief flash of blue and the stone whooshed into the vortex of the glass.

  “We are grateful, Simeon Campbell. Blessings on you, your lady, and your clan for all time. And never doubt, some tasks require the efforts of more than one champion. And sometimes, even a thief.” A tinkling of mirth grew louder as the mist, the woman, and the light all withdrew into the mirror, and the entire vision before them disappeared. The group stood speechless.

  Simeon was the first to break the quiet of the cave.

  “Aye, a thief…” He pulled Kat to him tightly and mused with a widening grin. “Did ye ever think ye’d travel through time tae stand with me as a champion, Ian Goldman?”

  Before Ian could answer, Sofia burst into laughter. “I’m fair certs she was talking aboot the dog, bràthar.”

  ###

  It was a happy hall that evening. Just before gloaming, hearty platters of food and wine flooded the dining hall for an impromptu celebration. Tales of their Laird and Lady’s victory ran rampant, and poems of Ian’s valor were hastily composed and repeated.

  Even Clootie, who was usually given a wide berth by everyone in his vicinity, enjoyed a spoiling share of scratches behind his ear, followed with rewarding chunks of meat for the role he played in their victory. The dog was currently so bloated from the clan’s attention, he could do naught else but lie in a contented sprawl near the hearth.

  Simeon’s heart swelled with pride as he looked into the eyes of the woman beside him. Katherine’s skin was still flushed, and her eyes glittered in radiant happiness from the passion they shared.

  When they had returned to the castle a few hours before, Katherine’s feet barely skimmed the ground before Simeon whisked her into his arms and sprinted up the stairs two-at-a-time, straightaway to their chamber. He declared that after such a close call with death, it was necessary they celebrate life.

  Katherine had torn at his tartan in a fervent rush, as eager as he to touch and taste. He had stood proud and naked before her, yet he stilled her hands when she began to pluck away her bodysuit. Despite the urgency between them, Simeon assured her there would never be a need to don the wicked garment again, as her days of thievery were officially concluded. But before they retired the bodysuit to memory, Simeon confessed his need to fulfill a fantasy inspired by his first glimpse of her wearing that black case of sin back in Inverness. And true to his declaration, her Highland Laird stripped the Lycra away using nothing but his teeth, pressing hot kisses along every bare inch of newly-exposed flesh.

  By the time he tumbled them both to the bed, Simeon had secured Kat’s pledge to a hasty amendment. His beautiful, treasured lass promised to don the bodysuit anytime in the future that she wished to steal his heart.

  Once, twice Simeon expended unstoppable passion with nary a break in between. He was well underway to a third, making unabashed love to his Katherine (who swore she’d lost count of her own), when Maeve pounded hard on the door to their chamber.

  “Ye hae the rest o’ yer lives for bedplay, Laird. Yer clan is eager tae make merry.” The old woman’s departing cackle could be heard echoing down the hallway as Simeon threw a vicious boot at the offending portal.

  “At least it was locked this time,” Kat teased, unable to smother her giggles.

  They’d emerged a time later and were greeted by the celebration already underway in the hall. Seated in the Laird’s chair, with his Lady proudly draped in Campbell plaid beside him, Simeon couldn’t resist teasing the stains on Katherine’s cheeks to a deeper hue. Amid the merrymaking, he leaned in close and whispered, in wicked and very explicit detail, all the things he still intended to do with her before dawn.

  Kat couldn’t resist a bit of teasing of her own. She guided his finger to swipe a bit of creamy apple and honey tart from the corner of her mouth, and before he could pull away, she sucked and licked his finger in seductive promise. Simeon gave her a smoldering look, adoring the fact that his fiery lass left him both lusting and content.

  Before he could pull her into his arms to kiss her deeply, Tavish marched into the hall proudly piping an old folk tune, accompanied by Donnell’s showy skills on the drum. Fiddles and flutes soon joined in, and the entire clan was on their feet clapping and dancing in time with the music.

  Tables were cleared in the center of the hall. Ian laughed in camaraderie as he helped to lay the crossed broadswords among the rushes. Though healed, he was wary of his foot. Lest his pride suffer should he partake in the dance, he nodded to Simeon, who eagerly accepted the first challenge.

  Kat’s eyes sparkled with unabashed happiness. Her dark, handsome Laird, clad in the full regalia of his station, skipped and leapt between the blades, one hand raised, then two. He twirled with grace and skill, his chest proud and his back straight, as man after man tried to match his intricate footwork.

  Kat joined the circle around him, laughing and clapping along with the rest. Both hands on his hips, Simeon danced and spun. His kilt rose and fell as his face broke into a dazzling smile. Her heart tripped seeing him thus. If she thought she loved him before, Kat surely fell in love with him all over again.

  Sofia shouldered her way through the throng, her voice bright with laughter as she lifted her skirts, her feet bouncing in time to the music. “Fancy a challenge, bràthar?”

  “Always me wee lassie,” Simeon laughed heartily, giving Kat a brazen wink.

  The tempo increased double-time as Sofia and Simeon squared off. Never breaking eye contact, the siblings were equally matched. Simeon moved left, Sofia right, then reversed, neither faltered. Each kept time with the complicated patterns and mirrored the footwork of the other. The crowd encouraged the rivalry until it spun to a frenzied pitch.

  “Concede, bràthar, yer nae match for me.” Sofia tossed him a saucy grin.

  “Och, nae, ‘tis only one match for me.” Simeon chuckled and snatched his sister up in his arms. He twirled Sofia in a dizzying spin and placed an affectionate kiss on her cheek. Brother and sister accepted congratulatory pats on the back and toasted with the cups of whiskey placed in their hands.

  Breathing hard, Simeon held his glass high and beckoned Katherine to his side. “A toast! Tae me wife, yer Lady Campbell.”

  Amid cheers, Kat returned his kiss deeply, engulfed in the happy din. “Wife. Wife. You keep calling me wife, Simeon. You know in my eyes we’re not officially married.”

  Simeon tilted her chin up and held her teasing eyes. “Me contrary, lass. I’ll give ye a wedding ye’ll no’ forget.”

  “I don’t know, Highlander,” Kat drawled slowly in doubt. “Tying me up in a cave and leaving me to rot is pretty unforgettable.”

  “It’s good tae ken ye hae low expectations, lass,” Simeon laughed.

  “Speaking of weddings, Laird,” Ian wedged over to Sofia’s side and cleared his throat.

  “Aye?” The Highlander stiffened and arched a dark brow.

  Sofia’s blush deepened, and she squeezed Ian’s bicep in enco
uragement. Kat couldn’t suppress a giggle as her brother hedged.

  “I intend to marry your sister.”

  “Do ye now?” Simeon’s mouth turned down in a scowl. He pointed at Ian with his cup. “And whot makes ye believe I’d agree tae such a union?”

  “Simeon!” Kat gasped, setting a placating hand on his forearm. Simeon raised Kat’s hand to his lips, and then reverently laced his fingers with hers. He gave her a knavish wink, and then pitched his body at a menacing angle, glaring at Ian over the rim of his cup.

  Ian glared right back. Bloody hell, the Laird of Clan Campbell wasn’t going to make this easy. “Agree or not, Campbell. I love her.”

  Simeon straightened to a commanding height and crossed his arms. He ran assessing eyes up and down Ian until the man chafed beneath the uncomfortable scrutiny.

  Sofia defiantly tightened her hold on Ian. “Well, be on with ye, Sim. Will ye no’ give us yer blessing?”

  “I love her.” Ian repeated, emphasizing each word. “And I will marry her.”

  Simeon appeared to be lost in deep consideration as he pinched his lower lip between his thumb and his forefinger. He shot his wife an imperious look. “Did ye ken o’ this?”

  Kat shrugged evasively, earning her a quizzical stare. Simeon turned a stoic face back to the hopeful pair. “A blessing from yer Laird is no’ a thing tae be given lightly. Do you ken a laird’s word is nigh unbreakable, Ian Goldman?”

  “Of course. Your honor is without question.” Ian replied too quickly before he sensed where Simeon was leading.

  “’Tis well ye answered as such. Do ye recall the vow I made tae ye upon the hill?” A wicked curve ticked up the corner of Simeon’s mouth.

  Ian hesitated.

  “The one about what you’d do to me after everyone returns home safely?”

  “Aye.”

  “Wait! You were serious about that?” Ian’s brows rose in astonishment.

  “Aye.”

  “What does that have to do with me marrying Sofia?”

  “No’ a damn thing. Or mayhap, everything.” Simeon’s eyes twinkled mischievously as he fought to restrain a grin.

  “All right,” Ian sighed and rolled his eyes. He made a dramatic show of rolling up his sleeves. He swept his hand with a flourish and gave Simeon a sarcastic bow. “At least let’s take this outside? And can you avoid my face? And maybe my gut too? And can you make this quick, Laird?”

  Simeon handed his cup to Kat and rolled up his sleeves with his own theatrical flair. Unable to contain his mirth any longer, Simeon’s face broke into a wide grin. He inclined his head slightly and gave Ian an equally exaggerated sweep of his hand. “Och, I’m more than happy tae accommodate at least one o’ yer requests.” He draped a strong arm about Ian’s shoulders and guided him across the hall. The door was pulled open, silhouetting the pair against a blazing sunset.

  Sofia stole a worried look at Kat, who sipped the whisky from Simeon’s cup with nonchalance, shaking her head at the retreating men.

  “Whot should we do, sister?”

  “Do? At this point, the only thing you can do is get a really big pot and fill it with water,” Kat stated dryly.

  Sofia frowned in bewilderment.

  “Ian?” Sofia called out in desperation.

  “Don’t worry, my love. He’ll say yes,” Ian assured Sophia with more confidence than he felt. He muttered the next question so low, only Simeon could hear. “You will say yes? Won’t you?”

  Simeon tossed his head back in hearty laughter and clapped Ian on the back hard enough to make him stumble. “Come, bràthar. Ye can tell me more o’ yer Goldman rules, whilst I explain to ye the Campbell one.”

  “Just the one?” Ian asked hopefully.

  “Aye, just the one. And I’m aboot to take great pleasure in the fact ‘twill take ye overlong tae learn it.”

  Author Links & Notes

  Thank you so much in support of this book!

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  A simple rating or a brief word of review, whether you enjoyed it or not, is critical to our craft, and we appreciate your taking the time to share your opinion. Even clicking a few stars makes a huge difference to authors such as myself. As I like to pontificate, often over a reflective scotch and cigar, if you hate my work, tell me. If you love it, tell everyone! ;)

  To stay updated on the latest works, release dates, media events, and specials, please visit my website: www.olivianorem.com.

  I welcome your comments and love to connect. In addition to the website, you can find me on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and Audible. Be sure to keep a lookout for How To Steal A Highlander coming to audiobook in September, 2018, narrated by the truly gifted voice actor, Greg Patmore.

  A few parting thoughts about How To Steal A Highlander

  Novels featuring rugged Scotsmen and the women who love them are among my favorite reads in the romance genre. There is also something to be said about early visual influences in my life, such as The Highlander both the movies and the television series, epics such as Braveheart, and Rob Roy. The spirit, the culture, and yes, the haunting strains of bagpipes always call to the depth of my soul…

  While there are thousands of books, historicals, time travels, and paranormals, etc. featuring men in kilts, I wanted to add my contribution to this fascinating genre, and marry my love of all things Scottish with my love of fiction. I used a lot of creative license with actual facts and names, choosing to use them as inspiration to tell Kat and Simeon’s story. This book is meant to entertain and certainly is not a reference to the rich tapestry of the history of Scotland, Celtic legends, or the Clan Campbell.

  This book took over two years (off and on) to complete. The first year into the project, with the book ninety percent finished, I realized I had taken an agonizingly wrong turn and decided to abandon it. A few months passed and I tested a portion of Kat and Simeon aloud. Faced with raised eyebrows as to why I didn’t complete the book, I tumbled past my well of doubt and looked for a solution. That night, accompanied with dainty glass after glass of sipping Scotch (yes, brewed in Scotland), I slashed over half the manuscript and dug deep. Faced the daunting task of completing this story reduced to a thoroughly wrecked state, I spent the next eleven months consumed with no other project.

  Initial feedback I received on How To Steal A Highlander included a big criticism making Kat a criminal. Heroines should never be criminals, should they? I considered a revision to her profession, but couldn’t picture her as anything but a very skilled “cat burglar.” Besides, Simeon was so fascinated with that bodysuit, and yoga instructors simply do not embody the same mystique…

  So my gratitude to my Simeon, who insisted this story be told and provided plenty of advice and inspiration along the way. To my wonderful friends and family who hid their eyerolls as I bored them silly, speaking of nothing but scenes and ideas for months. A deep curtsy of thanks to my extraordinary editor, Margaret Eldridge of Electronic Document Design, who pulled off an editing miracle and finished this book right before she set sail around the Florida coast in a catamaran. Huge hugs and kisses (no tongue) to the numerous bloggers, writing groups and bookstores who continue to encourage and promote me; and to you, the readers and fans of my work. Without you, none of this is possible.

  While I’m not one for series, I’ve received numerous requests for a sequel to my Viking romance, His Viking Bride. So look for a crossover book in the near future, something about Sofia accidentally traveling back to Viking times and Ian crossing swords with Veleif to save his lady love. Ian and Sofia will more than likely need Simeon’s brawn and Kat’s specialized skills to return, and who knows? Even Arnor may fall in love...

  Happy reading!

  Olivia

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