Casey

by Cameron James

  “You love her, don’t you?”

  “I felt like she was the only person who understood me, for such a long time.” I said.

  “Do you know why we named you after her?” He asked, I shook my head, “she was, she is a strong woman.” He said, I almost frowned. “She was at your mother’s side for the entirety of her pregnancy and she was so strong. She knew exactly what she wanted; she knew exactly who she was.” He said, “and we wanted you to be like that, we wanted you to be strong and to know who you are, to know what you wanted.” He said, “Cassie was your Mum’s best friend, but then she got sick, very sick and it’s why she moved to Australia.”

  “She was sick?”

  “Yes.” He said then sighed, “she has told us she’s better now, but she told us that she loved you, she accepted you and she let you be who you are because she knew how sick she was and she saw how happy it made you.” He said, I shook my head, “so she made you feel accepted, feel loved, and you made her feel the same way.”

  “I was eleven and not happy, how did I help?” I asked, he shook his head.

  “She couldn’t tell us, she just said that you helped her and she was heartbroken when she moved away.”

  “Is she back for good?”

  “Only she can tell us that.” He said, “but I’m glad you’re like your Aunt Cassie.” He said, I smiled, “in your own way.” He said, I nodded.

  “I am too.” I replied then winced slightly, I heard Dad’s laugh that he tried to hide in a cough. “Too many people are getting amusement out of my pain here.”

  “You wanted a penis.” He said shrugging, “just wait until you get circumcised.” He added whistling, I winced.

  “What?” I replied, he grinned at me. “You’re pissing with me.” I said.

  “I am.” He agreed, “I’ll warn you now though.” He said, I looked at him as he turned to face the way he indicted, “if you make a mess in the bathroom, your Mother will verbally castrate you.” He said then looked at me, “speaking from experience.” He added, so I began laughing which he obviously found hilarious because he began laughing with me until he hit a set of red lights.

  “I think I’m ready to go home.” I said, he nodded.

  “I’ll detour, our detour.” He replied, we both looked up at the traffic lights. “Feel ready?”

  “I feel ready.” I replied in a deep breath then smiled at him, he nodded back, put the car into gear and drove on.

  ⚧

  13 Weeks After

  “Please tell me what you have against Pride?” Aoife requested, Mickey laughed as he buttered his toast, I was as amused sat beside him.

  “I just don’t get it. I guess.” Mickey said, then he sighed. “It’s like this ultimate excuse for a piss up, or a hook up. It’s like…” he said, then he sighed heavier. “It annoys me right because of the amount of straight people who go for the status symbol.” He said,

  “He’s not bitter.” I muttered; Aoife laughed as she cut her pancakes.

  “Like I guess the day events okay. I guess, but the night, the nights just terrifying.”

  “Terrifying?” I repeated, Mickey nodded.

  “I don’t know, it feels like people sort of go well it’s Pride so I’ll do twenty shots instead of five, it’s Pride I’ll try that drug, it’s Pride I’ll go home with that random dude who seems to already be touching himself.” He said, “that and like being gay isn’t that big of a deal to me, not really.”

  “I sometimes question if you actually are gay Mickey.” Aoife said, Mickey smirked at me.

  “What he did last night, boy definitely gay.” I murmured as I ate my beans with a spoon.

  “What did he do last night?” Aoife asked, I winked at her, she laughed.

  “I get today. I get trans pride.” Mickey said, “like I understand the need for it, I understand what good it could do.” He said, then he sighed, “but I just don’t feel the need to dress brightly and buy rainbow merchandise.”

  “I love how proud my boyfriend is, of being my boyfriend.” I said widening my eyes at Aoife, she laughed as Mickey looked at me and gasped.

  “I’m proud of being your boyfriend.” He said, “So proud.” He almost stressed so I kissed him.

  “Aw.” Aoife cooed, I turned to look at her. “Like so adorable.” she added, “now stop because I don’t want to recreate my pancakes.”

  “What are you planning for today?” I asked, Mickey shrugged lightly,

  “Do you want me to stay?” he asked, I shrugged right back at him, he smirked.

  “Will you cringe at everything that happens?” I asked, he laughed. “How about, we meet tonight you come for a few drinks? I’m sure the group will be.”

  “Piss up.” Mickey said as if confirming it.

  “I’m happy about that. I must say.” Aoife said, as I grinned at Mickey, unashamedly like he was the best thing in the world.

  I managed to cause a ruckus when I kissed Mickey goodbye as it appeared most of the group were helping set up their stall, I just laughed it off as Mickey waved shyly and began to walk away, putting his headphones in as he did. I watched him go until Aoife grabbed onto my hand, pulling me towards the table.

  “Ah Casey.” Harvey said happily, I grinned at him, “and Aoife, right?” he asked,

  “Perfect pronunciation too.” She said, Harvey seemed pleased.

  “Everyone’s doing an hour, or thereabouts.” he explained, “so, Milo’s going to be doing some face paints for the first hour, flags, glitter you name it, Milo can do it.” he said, Milo waved from behind him as he emptied his paintbrushes onto a piece of kitchen roll. “Luke’s got some art he’s going to try and sell, some of it’s pretty good.” He said,

  “You sound surprised.” I said, Harvey laughed whilst shaking his head,

  “Then we’ve got things like photo frames, wristbands, pin badges and leaflets.” He said, we both nodded back. “So, check your hour,” he said, I nodded and did so, Milo appeared at my side as I checked the list.

  “Can I do something for you?” Milo whispered, I looked up at him quickly,

  “Excuse me?” I said, he laughed happily,

  “I meant Aoife.” He said, “I just wanted to do trans flag eyeshadow.”

  “That’s the best thing I think I’ve ever heard.” She said, he laughed sounding happy.

  “So you’ll let me?” he asked, she nodded letting him take her hand and lead her to his set up chair. I watched as he worked on her face, his touch delicate and precise. He blew against her lightly when he’d painted a perfect trans flag on then picked up a little tub.

  “Can I glitter your cheeks?” he whispered, she gasped.

  “Is that even a question?” she replied, he grinned dipping his finger into the glitter and striping it across her cheeks, then he turned to me. “Your turn honey.” he said, I took a few quick steps backwards.

  “You are not putting eyeshadow on me.” I said, Milo laughed grabbing onto my hand.

  “No of course not.” He said, then turned me, “like Riley.” He added, so we both looked towards Riley was stood with the trans flag painted onto his cheeks.

  “Cool.” I said, being pushed onto the chair Aoife had stood from then watching as Milo painted my cheeks, Aoife laughed behind us, Milo almost frowned at me.

  “What?” Milo whispered,

  “You’re a fucking artist.” she said, he seemed smug for almost a moment before winking at me and painting on the blue stripe.

  “Are we ready boys?” Harvey called, I turned to look at him as Milo wiped his hands, “and lady.” He added grinning at Aoife, she waved back as I stood from the chair, going to her and grabbing her hand, running into the group that had formed. Riley and Kieran were given the giant flag to carry, and each of us a little flag to wave and then we began to walk, well, Aoife and I began to skip.

  “We should have a chant.” Milo said as he walked alongside us, I almost frowned at him he laughed, “I don’t know, one, two, three, RCT.” He said,r />
  “Epic.” I said laughing, “Oh my god, Epic.” I repeated then began to clap, “ONE, TWO, THREE.”

  “RCT.” Aoife shouted with Milo, seeing Kieran turn to us amused,

  “ONE, TWO, THREE!” I repeated laughing towards the end of it,

  “RCT.” Milo and Aoife shouted back again,

  “Oh-my-god Harvey! We’ve got a chant.” Kieran almost shouted,

  “ONE, TWO, THREE!” I shouted,

  “RCT.” They all shouted back at me, I crowed laughing until arms wrapped around my middle and I screamed turning my head, and relaxing when I saw Mickey stood behind me, laughing as he kept hold of me.

  “RCT?” Mickey asked, I grinned at him over my shoulder.

  “ONE, TWO, THREE!” I shouted as I turned, “What are you doing here?”

  “Trans pride. No?” Mickey asked, waving the little flag in front of my face,

  “Oh-my-god.” I laughed then launched forward kissing him and making the crowds cheer around us whilst Milo continued the chant.

  “Did we somehow convert you to Pride?” I asked, Mickey shook his head as he laughed and took my hand to walk with him,

  “No, and I’ll never go to Gay Pride.” He said, “but, I’m walking in solidary with my boyfriend.” He said, lifting my hand and kissing the back of it.

  “He’s so cute it’s unreal.” Milo moaned beside me, I agreed.

  “I want a Mickey.” Aoife said, Milo laughed.

  “My Mickey is late.” He said simply, I grinned,

  “You could have a Mickey.” I teased; she rolled her eyes at me. “Where is Kaiden actually?” I added, Mickey moved me away just quick enough that she couldn’t hit me.

  “He’s probably with Avory.” Milo said,

  “I like you, don’t make me not.” Aoife said, Milo pouted at me,

  “ONE, TWO, THREE!” I shouted,

  “RCT!” We shouted along with the group, I turned to look ahead of us, grinning at the group before us Kieran and Riley still held the flag, Luke walked between them not holding the flag in anyway but talking to them as we walked. Ashley and Jesse were just in front of us, running from the middle to the crowd, they turned to look at us over their shoulders as they ran. Harvey walked behind us with Geoff, who from introductions I’d figured was the leader of the general Rainbow Connection group, and RCG, Rainbow Connection Gay, they both walked as if they were on a stroll, their hands in their pockets, amused smiles on their faces.

  “ONE, TWO, THREE!” Mickey and I shouted together, we all punched up.

  “RCT!”

  “So, no one knows?” Ashley asked Aoife as we sat on a grassy area by the stalls with plastic cups full of beer, “Like no-one?”

  “No-one.” She repeated as she ensured my skirt covered her knees. “I figured I’d go stealth, see how it goes. My roommates don’t suspect, my friends back home don’t suspect, any boyfriends I’ve had didn’t suspect.” she continued then took a sip of beer as Ashley and Jesse looked at each other.

  “Even your boyfriends don’t know?” Milo said, who’d found Avory in the tent that held the stalls along with a few other of his Drag Queen friend. Milo had stolen him away insisting he have a beer with us before he was required to disappear and become his Drag persona Robin.

  “Even my boyfriends don’t know.” she repeated, Avory frowned at her, but it was definitely thoughtful.

  “I think I knew about Milo the first night we met.” He said, Milo nodded behind him, “I definitely knew by the second time because we had sex.”

  “And I hadn’t had my surgery.” Milo said, Aoife looked at me, I almost laughed.

  “I’m not a good go-to, it was a fortnight? Right? Before I told you.”

  “Can I bring to the table…” Mickey said as he swirled his beer around in the cup, “…You only told me because we were making out and you couldn’t get hard.”

  “And I felt guilty. Yeah whatever. Shut up.” I said, Aoife smiled as Ashley shook his head,

  “Granted. I didn’t know Jesse was trans when we got together.” He said, Jesse laughed,

  “I didn’t even know I was trans when we got together.” He said, I shook my head at them.

  “Wait.” Jesse said, we all looked at him, “you’re gay right?” he asked, Avory nodded back. “And you guys had sex before he had a penis?”

  “Yeah, I mean he’s a boy.” Avory said, “and attractive. If I had to wait for the penis I’d have died.”

  “He’s not lying.” Milo said, Jesse laughed.

  “To be fair, if we had waited until penis…”

  “We’d still be waiting.” Ashley said almost drolly, I smiled at him. “Where you happy with them?” Ashley asked, Aoife pointed at herself, he nodded. “Were you happy with your boyfriends?”

  “Why?”

  “Because, and this is just my opinion, but I think if you’re happy with whoever you’re with you should be able to just tell them something like that.” He said before drinking some of his beer.

  “Oh how I wish everything was still sixteen year old simple.” Milo said in a sigh, Avory who was now sat between his legs, his head resting on Milo’s chest nodded.

  “Excuse me, I’m almost seventeen.” Ashley said, I laughed.

  “You’re scared right?” Avory asked, she nodded, “and that makes sense, perfect sense. I was scared to tell him I’m a Drag Queen, I’m sure he was scared to tell me, he’s trans. Casey?”

  “Oh fucking terrified.” I said nodding, Mickey squeezed me from behind, so I smiled at him.

  “I think that’s normal and I think the fear almost proves that you do like them.” He said, “so, you’ll know when you’re ready to tell them.” He said simply, then finished his beer. “Now that I’d spread my Drag pearls of wisdom, I will go and get ready to perform.” He said sitting up and turning to Milo,

  “Main stage, half seven.” Milo recited as if it had been drummed into him.

  “I’ll see you there.” Avory said sounding happy then he kissed Milo and stood. “Good luck sweetheart.” He said smiling at Aoife before stepping out of our circle and almost jogging back to the tent.

  “Three o’clock.” I said then sighed, “My turn.” I added,

  “Ha.” Jesse stated before almost choking on his beer. “Have fun.” He added, I rolled his eyes as I stood himself, trying to finish the cup of beer I had but shaking his head and passing it to Mickey who poured it into his own cup, as I was pretty sure I couldn’t and shouldn’t finish it.

  “Come with me.” I said holding my hand out to Aoife, she sighed back at me but took my hand anyway.

  “Want to look around the stalls minions?” Milo said,

  “Are we referring to us?” Ashley asked, Milo nodded, “Yeah. Stalls Jesse?” he asked, I laughed as they stood with us, following behind as Aoife and I walked towards the tent. The RCT table was big and loud as you walked in. it was Kaiden and Luke’s hour and all things considered they were drawing quite a crowd.

  “Hey free t-shirt.” I said as I reached the table, Kaiden laughed holding the black t-shirt that had Rainbow Connection Trans wrote on the chest, rainbow of course wrote in the rainbow colours, and Trans wrote in pink, white and blue to me, I smiled as I opened it up and put it on over the t-shirt I was wearing. “Do I get to keep it?” I asked,

  “I guess you do.” Kaiden said, “these too.” He added lifting my arm and pushing multiple RCT wristbands onto my wrist. I laughed as he looked behind me, his eyes widening before he cleared his throat. “Aoife.” He said, his voice almost breaking, I smirked and I’m sure Aoife was thinking about smacking me later. “Hey.” He added,

  “Hey.” she replied, “I…” she began, but he looked behind her his expression surprised so we turned to see what he was looking at.

  “Oh my god, no-way.” He said,

  “What?” I said,

  “Oh-my-god.” Aoife repeated, so I looked at her seeing her cover her mouth a smile behind her hand so I searched, I searched for what they were l
ooking at, and then I found it. I saw the t-shirts first, the identical t-shirts to me, to Kaiden one of course on Riley, the other on Kieran, they’d done the first shift on the table. I looked beyond them, seeing Milo as he stood, one hand over his mouth the other holding his phone vertical in front of him, Jesse and Ashley stood beside him both watching almost in shock, then to my right at Luke as he stood, two bottles of coke between his fingers and a smile on his face, behind him Harvey and Geoff joined the crowd, and then Riley spoke.

  “Kieran…” Was the first, and only thing he’d said then he shook his head, as if he was about to make the craziest decision of his life, and yet he was still going to make it, so he got on one knee. “Kieran, I have loved you for so long, we’ve been through so much.” He said, Kieran shook his head, quicker and quicker. “And every day I love you more and more. I know this’ll be a shock to you. I know it will. I know I never mentioned marriage and I know I joked about the future, but I’ve always known, I do know, that I want my future with you, and I want to marry you.” Riley said then took Kieran’s hand, “So, Kieran, Kieran May will you marry me?” he said, Kieran laughed covering his mouth, I looked around, a circle had formed around them, a silent circle, not one person dared make a noise, but many phones were lifted in their direction, some with the flash on, some vertical, some landscape, then I looked back towards Kieran as he took Riley’s hand.

  “Of course I will marry you Riley, oh-my-god of course I will.” He said, Riley laughed, a loud laugh as he stood, slipping his arms around Kieran’s waist and picking him up, he twirled him around before dropping him to the floor and kissing him, the entire circle cheered as one. I looked across to Aoife as he clapped along with the circle, then over my shoulder to Kaiden as he smiled.

  “Should’ve put a fucking bet on that.” Luke’s voice said, I turned all the way to look at him as he passed one of the bottles in his hand to Kaiden, Luke too had one of the tables t-shirts on.

  “I would never ever have called Riley.” I said as I took their place behind the table. “Like yeah maybe Kieran, but Riley!”

  “I thought Milo was going to do it.” Luke said, “I would’ve put bets on someone proposing but I really thought Milo was going to.”