by Marian Tee
“What’s wrong?” Yanna asked immediately.
It was a voice of concern, a voice of someone who worried over her and didn’t care if other people thought she was stupid for having someone like Daria as a friend.
Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry.
“C-can you help me get back home?”
PART THREE
Chapter One
Nik was lost. It was a foolishly emotional word to describe his state, but he knew there was no other word to use. He was lost. He knew it, but he didn’t know how to stop being lost.
It had been three months since he had tossed Daria out. He had, without admitting to himself, scoured the news for hints about what she was doing. Even opened damn Facebook and Instagram accounts to stalk her. But still he learned nothing, Daria’s own accounts dormant in the same three months they had been apart.
This will pass. He had done the right thing, Nik told himself. And this time, he knew there would be no one like Miranda who would force Daria back into his life.
It was over, and it was only right that it was over.
He returned to his office at midnight. He had a private suite connected to it, and it had been his home in the past few weeks. His actual home felt too vast these days. Too damn empty. They just made him fucking brood longer.
He saw he had a voice message waiting for him from a number he didn’t recognize.
“Hey, Nik. This is Alyx.”
Nik stiffened. It was Daria’s friend.
“If you think this is to let you know how Daria’s doing or where she is right now, fat luck, dumbass. I’m calling because I want you to know you’re a fucking idiot. And fucking clueless. You’re so fucking scared to let yourself feel the slightest thing that it’s not even funny. Daria must think she’s fucking a robot when she’s with you. A dumbass robot.
“I don’t give a damn what made you be the way you are – Daria tells me you’ve got your reasons. Yeah, well, you know how ignorance is no excuse for violating laws? Ignorance isn’t any excuse for BREAKING MY FRIEND’S HEART EITHER.”
Nik almost winced at the volume of Alyx’s furious shriek.
“Dumbass!”
He literally heard Alyx cracking her knuckles through the voice message, knew she was probably imagining punching him in the face as she spoke.
“You’re so fucking dumb. You only have to spend one day with her to know she’s real. Dumbass. You go to all those TWENTY-EIGHT MEN you think fucked her before you and you go make them tell the truth. Daria says you’re not a dumbass like I think you are, so prove it. Go do what you should do and make them talk. Make them tell the truth. Dumbass.”
A pause.
“Daria doesn’t know I called you, but if you’re the dumbass I think you are, you probably won’t believe me. I don’t give a damn. Your loss. Dumbass.”
****
“This is it, sir.” The Rolls Royce slid to a smooth stop, allowing Nik to study the charming two-story apartment he had come to find. A full minute passed before he made the decision to leave the car and knock on the front door.
A teenage girl opened the door for him, her eyes widening in recognition upon seeing Nik.
He had never seen her before, but he knew who she was. “You must be Iolanthe’s sister, Leah.” He took out his phone and showed it to her.
Leah smiled grudgingly when she saw the panda bumper. “You used it.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t get to tell you thank you for it.”
She shrugged uncomfortably. “It’s not much, considering what you do for us.” She was tall and lanky unlike her sister, and extremely guarded, also unlike Iolanthe. “Come in. She’s…resting.”
He ignored the way her voice suddenly caught, knowing that it would only offend the girl’s pride if he asked what was wrong. A pointless question, too, since he already knew what was wrong.
Iolanthe’s face broke into a smile of surprised pleasure when he entered her bedroom. “Nik,” she breathed. “What are you doing here?”
She hadn’t aged over the years, but there was a frailness about her that made his chest hurt. She might not be dying of cancer now, but anyone only had to look at her to know it was just a question of when.
Leah had a fierce look in her eyes, and he knew she was ready to kick him out if he said anything about Iolanthe’s appearance the wrong way.
Taking the chair next to Io’s bed, Nik began talking. He remembered her telling him once that she liked hearing him talk. It sounded insane to him, but he figured he should give it a shot now.
He told her about his life, about Miranda – he told her everything except about Daria. She laughed and gasped at times, but every time she did, she looked more tired after.
He stopped an hour later, only because he had seen Iolanthe’s eyelids drift close. She was sleeping.
His eyes met Leah’s. She was seated on the opposite side of the bed, a militant look on her face. A fighter, he thought. She really was the opposite of Iolanthe in every way.
“She’s getting better every day,” Leah told him fiercely.
He wondered if she knew how desperate she sounded. “I’m glad to hear that,” he said quietly. “Whatever you need, just tell me.” He asked for her phone, and he input his private number in it. “I’ll be the one to answer you directly.”
The hope shining in Leah’s eyes only made Nik feel more of a bastard. He could have done this earlier – could have helped this child and not let her handle everything on her own if not for his stubborn unwillingness to become involved with anyone.
After securing his promise to join them for dinner, Leah left the room, and Nik said quietly, “You can stop pretending now.” He had noticed Iolanthe’s breathing pattern change a minute ago.
Her eyes slowly drifted open. “Why am I even surprised you know I was faking it?” Her voice was so faint Nik had to strain to hear her.
When Nik didn’t answer her, she said worriedly, “What is it?”
That she could be concerned, even in the state she was in – how could she never fear doing this, Nik wondered tautly. How could Io always put everyone before her even when other people constantly repaid her with pain?
“I wouldn’t blame you if you hate me right now,” he said grimly. “You should hate me.”
Io only smiled. “Leah used to. She saw me crying over you so many times, you see. But she forgave you when you paid for all this.”
He shook his head. “It’s not enough.” He met her eyes. “I’m sorry, Iolanthe.”
Her face softened even more. “Nik, there’s nothing to be sorry about.” She paused, the words visibly tiring her. “It’s not…your fault you didn’t love me. You tried—”
Nik was incredulous. “Are you kidding me? I practically threw you out. I—”
“You did.” Her voice was faint but emphatic. “The whole time you didn’t fire me, you…tried.”
“You’re too damn nice,” was all he said.
Io lifted one hand up, her movement slow and weak. She patted his face. “You’re too hard…on yourself.” Her eyes were bright with tears. “Those were some of the…best days…of my life. You were my…greatest infatuation. I’ll never…regret.” She spoke with such feeling Nik was both humbled by it as well as gutted, realizing it also meant that he had hurt her so damn much when he had cut her out of his life without a single word of explanation.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
She patted his face again. “You found her…right? You wouldn’t have come here…if you hadn’t.” Sadness tinged her smile. “But…you lost her, too?”
Nik shrugged, an expressionless mask falling over his face. “You’re still as talkative as ever.”
“Get…her…back.” She bit her lip. “And…Nik?”
He frowned at the way her voice suddenly trembled. “What’s wrong? Do you want me to call—”
“Nik.”
He stopped speaking.
“Take care of…Leah…when I’m gone?”
His voice was as fierce as Leah’s when he answered. “You won’t be gone.”
She choked on a laugh, but it was followed by a violent bout of coughing. When she looked at him again, she had tears running down her face. “Still a bad liar,” she whispered, but she was also smiling.
“And like I said, you still talk too much.”
“Promise me, Nik. Please.”
He nodded. He didn’t want to say it, knew he might as well say he believed she’d die anytime if he did.
Her smile widened. “T-thank you. And I promise…I’ll stick around long enough to meet her.”
Chapter Two
Miranda looked completely different from the last time Nik had seen her. She was on her feet, for one thing, and gone was the desperate hope in her eyes.
Today, she was the Miranda he had first met – beautiful, confident, and composed. Only this time he knew she was as human as the rest of them.
“Thank you for coming to meet me at such late notice.” Miranda handed the keys of her office to him. “And I will keep my promise, no hysterics today.”
He acknowledged her quip with a brief smile, but his voice was serious as he said, “You know it doesn’t have to be this way.”
Miranda shook her head. An ironic smile curved on her lips as she said candidly, “You know, I think that’s the whole problem with you. You’re too nice without meaning to. You can’t be so nice and not expect a woman to fall in love with you, Nik.”
Nik didn’t answer, simply because he didn’t know what to say. He had never thought himself nice and he hadn’t ever gone out of his way to make a girl fall for him.
She sighed. “I don’t know if I envy or pity Daria, honestly.” When she saw his shuttered expression, she released a small tinkling laugh. “Relax, Nik. I told you. No hysterics. I know when I’m beaten, and I didn’t survive this long without knowing how to read the writing on the wall.” She raised her hand, and that was when he saw his engagement ring on her finger. She had chosen it, but he had paid for it. “Is it okay if I keep this? It’s worth a fortune.”
“You can order the matching set for it, if you wish. Consider it a parting gift.”
“I’ll take you up on it,” she accepted readily enough.
He smiled. This was the Miranda he knew and had appreciated as a friend.
“Danny will be coming with me to France,” she told him as they walked out of her office. While he locked the doors for her, she shared with him, “I’m thinking I’ll try to seduce him.”
Nik raised a brow. “He’s gay.”
Miranda shrugged that off. “I can make him bisexual.” Her gaze turned serious. “But anyway, that’s not why I called you to come.” And this, she thought, was the hard part.
“When I tried to kill myself, I knew…Danny would come in time.”
Nik didn’t say a word, but she had known him too long not to be able to read what his silence meant.
“Given enough time, I think you’d probably have realized the truth for yourself. I know I paint myself as cold and unemotional, but I’m as human as the rest of them.”
Nik said finally, “Thank you for telling me the truth.”
“I’m not finished. And it’s about to get worse.” She forced herself to meet his gaze. “I’m also sorry that what I did will probably make you distrust women even more. I’m sincerely sorry for that,” she said heavily. “I don’t want that for you because…you’re a good man, Nik. I want to think you’re a good man because I’d like to think I’m good, too, despite all the mistakes I made. We both keep pushing people away, but I think it’s time we both stop and just…let ourselves feel and be hurt.”
“I see.” Nik’s voice was polite, and Miranda knew that was also his polite way of telling her he didn’t want to hear the rest.
Too bad for him, Miranda thought, but she was no longer on his payroll.
“Shall we go now? Perhaps my driver—”
“Nik,” she cut him off. “Danny lied.”
He froze.
“He told me about what he said, and he lied.” Miranda’s voice was urgent. “Danny lied, Nik. I never got to talk to Daria. I never got to tell her that I was depressed, and she never told me that she had you following her like a dog.”
A dull ache emerged in his chest as Miranda’s words sank in, but Nik forced himself to ignore it. “It doesn’t matter,” he heard himself say. “It doesn’t change a thing—”
“Doesn’t it?” Miranda demanded. “Nik, other people—”
His head jerked up at what she was implying. “Other people could what?” he grated out. “Are you fucking saying that you think all those men lied about her? Can you hear yourself, Miranda? Are you saying that all twenty-eight men fucking lied—”
“Yes!” As soon as she said it, she suddenly knew she did believe that. “I’m saying yes, even if it sounds completely unbelievable and unrealistic, I’m saying yes, I believe that. I’m going to bank on the fact that I know you’re not the type of person to fall for someone just because she was good in bed – if you were, you would have fallen for me.” Her smile was self-mocking. “But you didn’t. So yes, I think you must have seen something special in Daria and so yes, I think they all lied. I think she’s it for you.”
****
The flight from New York City to Miami had drained him, but Nik had his driver take him straight to Magnolia Everest’s estate.
He wasn’t certain if she would consent to meet him, but she did. She bore a strong resemblance to Daria and looked a decade younger than her age. The photos he had seen of her always had Magnolia dressed in outfits more suitable for teenagers than middle-aged women. But when Daria’s mother came to the drawing room, she was nothing like her photos. Her hair was left loose, her face free of makeup, and she was dressed in a loose, long-sleeved silk blouse and slacks.
“Mr. Alexandropoulos.” Her voice was as husky as Daria’s.
They shook hands briefly. “Thank you for seeing me, Mrs. Everest.”
She nodded, and when they were seated, she said without preamble, “Daria’s not with me.”
Ah. She knew about him then. It was all he allowed himself to think. The fact that Daria was not here was something he preferred not to dwell on at all.
“Was that why you came?” she asked. He didn’t answer right away, and she was beginning to see why Daria’s friends had oh-so-carefully described him as mercurial and aloof. Understatements, all of them, Magnolia thought.
“She came here three months ago, and she found me drunk.”
Nik stiffened.
“But I wasn’t drunk enough not to realize something was wrong with my baby. She wasn’t crying, but I’m her mother and I could feel it. I kept asking her what was wrong in my slurred voice, but she only said she was going to take care of me. And I let her even when…she’s never cried. Don’t you think that’s strange? My baby’s always been a girly girl.” Her voice broke. “She should cry more, don’t you think?”
Nik’s jaw clenched. Memories drifted in his mind, Daria telling him she didn’t allow herself to cry as punishment for hurting him.
“It sobered me, seeing her so determined to care for me even when she was hurting inside. It broke me.”
And looking at her, Nik saw that Magnolia was also punishing herself now. Tears brightened her gaze the way it did Daria’s, but Magnolia kept her eyes unblinking, not letting a single drop fall.
“She didn’t tell me a thing about you, you know. All she told me that it was her fault because she lied.” She choked the last word out, emotions tightening her throat. “Why are you so hard on her? One lie and you took away her pride, took away everything, even though she loved you so much—”
Nik stood up. “I’m sorry,” he bit out. He didn’t give a damn if leaving suddenly would make him like the biggest pri
ck on earth. He just didn’t want to listen to another person waxing poetry about Daria. Iolanthe had done it, even Miranda, and of course Magnolia would do it, too.
If he listened to more of this, all his defenses would crash, and he would—
As he turned away, he heard Magnolia speak behind him. “She’s the silliest daughter in the world, you know.”
Nik knew he should leave. That the more he listened, the more he would think that Daria—
“She’s so silly it breaks my heart,” Magnolia whispered. “She dated all those men, and she let them speak lies about her because she kept thinking that one day, a man would come to love her, despite her past, and with that she could prove that even someone like me – someone like me could be loved.” Her voice caught, and then and there he saw her for who she was, saw Magnolia the way Daria had always seen her mother.
A woman the world punished for loving too much and not being sorry for it.
Slowly, Nik turned to face Magnolia, and his defenses broke down as her eyes sought his assurance. Him, the man who had thought she was despicable, the same man who had hurt her daughter.
“I was such a bad mother to her, Mr. Alexandropoulos. But I can still make it right, can’t I?”
It was almost like hearing Daria speak those words. He thought about the hurtful things he had said of Magnolia Everest, of how daughter and mother were alike, and now he knew it was true. And it was a good thing.
“Yes, Mrs. Everest,” he heard himself say roughly. “You can still make it right.” He meant it, and he hoped to God he could still make it right, too. Because everything was clear now.
Memories came back to him, the oldest memories – the most precious memories.
He remembered how furious he had been at Daria throwing a bottle at him twice and Daria promising him she wasn’t insane, and Nik wanted to smile even as more pain ravaged his chest. Because if he could remember the good times, he could remember the bad times, and there were so damn much more of them.
