by Marian Tee
He remembered himself shouting at Daria. What’s my goddamn fucking number?
He remembered himself putting Daria in her place. You’re just a cunt that belongs to me.
Other people could have lied about her, too. Miranda’s words came back to him. And this time, he believed the same damn thing.
“I’m sorry.” His voice was raw.
Magnolia’s smile was sad. “I’m sorry, too. Not for you or me. I’m sorry for my daughter. I’m sorry that she’s so silly…so sweet to find something in us to love.”
Chapter Three
Nik’s badly bruised knuckles made it difficult for him to unlock the door to Daria’s apartment, but the knob finally turned after several tries.
When the lights were on, the first thing he saw was the empty suitcase on the floor, and self-contempt seared through him at the sight of it. Jerking his gaze away, he walked further inside. Everything he saw came with memories, and each one of them ripped his chest wide open with agonizing pain.
The couch where she sometimes made him read a book aloud while Daria laid her head on his lap and listened to him. So his vocal chords wouldn’t get rusty, she had told him seriously.
He checked the cupboards and found leftover ingredients from their last trip to the grocery. He opened the refrigerator, and his heart stopped at the sight of the cake on the lower tray.
Happy Eight Weeks.
Inside the bedroom, he took his time going through her dresses, finding a sense of comfort at seeing them. None of his investigators had managed to come up with any clues about where Daria was now. It had driven him to seek her presence in her apartment – he needed something to cling to, needed a reason to keep hoping.
He found a box in her closet and taking it out, he saw that it was a Gatorade bottle with a piece of paper inside it.
He read the message, and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to laugh or despair at how silly…at how goddamn sweet she was. Her mother was right. No one was as silly and sweet as Daria was, for thinking that God could give her a prince with a message in a bottle and pandas of all things as a sign.
And yet…God had, only Nik had chosen to turn himself into a frog.
He moved to her desk, taking a seat before pulling the drawer open. The first thing he saw was her calendar, and he felt the blood leeching out of him as he realized what it was.
“Theo,” he whispered hoarsely. No, God, no—
A calendar that had only Mondays and Fridays, a calendar that said her world revolved around a bastard like him.
The calendar slipped from his hands.
Forgive me, Daria.
I love you.
I’m sorry.
Forgive me.
****
“I’m so proud of you, Bella,” Daria exclaimed when she saw the 3D paper-cut tiara on her student’s IG account.
As she spoke, the dictation software she used caught her words, and they appeared on the screen.
“You’ve come so far,” she said sincerely. It was true. Of all her online students, Bella had proved to be the most diligent. Although she had only been Daria’s student for a week, she had already completed close to forty hours and the first one to create the 3D paper-cut assignment.
Bella: It looks even prettier in person, Ms. Everest. Thank you for being patient with me.
Daria smiled. “You’re too sweet.” So sweet, in fact, that she had found herself sharing more personal stuff with Bella than with other students. There was just something about the way Bella always seemed to understand and never sought to judge that encouraged Daria to talk.
Bella: Will we have lessons tonight?
“I’m afraid not. I’ve been invited by my neighbor to some kind of party.” She wrinkled her nose as she spoke. The idea of going out and being around so many people still didn’t appeal to her, but Grant had been so insistent and she hadn’t wanted to be rude.
Bella: Ooooh. A guy?
“Yeah,” she said glumly. Grant had been dropping more hints than usual, and she didn’t want to think of the day that she would have to turn him down.
Bella: You like him?
“I don’t hate him.” It felt disloyal to say she didn’t like Grant outright even though that was exactly how Daria felt. In fact, she couldn’t understand why she hadn’t fallen for him still. Grant was good-looking, rich, intelligent, and nice. He also knew about her “past” and he didn’t mind.
Only one possible reason occurred to her, and it terrified her so much that she didn’t even want to think of it. “Actually,” she heard herself say, “I might just say yes to him now if he asks me out.” That should shake things up, she thought. It should get her out of her funk and make her start living again.
From the other side of the island, where “Bella” was staying, Nik shot up in his bed as Daria’s reply showed up on his screen.
What the fuck? He had thought Grant didn’t stand a chance, but that just showed how little he knew about Daria now. The most time she had spent with the other guy was half an hour outside her little porch, talking about flowers – flowers! He had seen Grant’s face, and Nik was sure as hell the only kind of flower Grant wanted to see and taste was between Daria’s legs.
Fuck him, Nik thought. If Grant thought he could have an easy way getting Daria, no fucking luck. As soon as Daria said goodbye to “Bella,” he showered and changed, intending to leave as soon as possible.
A month ago, Nik had realized that even if his team of investigators hadn’t been able to find a trace of Daria, there was still one thing he could do.
Daria loved her art too much not to do more of it, and he had stalked the Internet until he found several artworks that matched her style. Using Leah’s picture with her permission, he had created “Bella” and emailed the artists, inquiring about lessons.
Daria had been one of the last to reply, but he had known it was her the moment she replied. Too many OMGs, too much optimism – everything that was silly and sweet about her was in her email.
From there, it had only been a matter of hours for Nik’s team to use her I.P. address to figure out where she was. The fact that she was staying in Teleios had stunned him. He also wanted to draw hope from it, but he knew it could also very well be Daria wanting to redo her life and asking for another prince from God, a real one this time.
Don’t answer her prayer, God. It still felt ridiculous to Nik to speak to God directly but if it had worked for Daria, then he knew it could only be true. You already answered her once. No need to do twice the work. Let me handle this for You.
On his way out, he called for his PA. “It’s time,” he said simply.
****
Something was up, Daria thought. The air about her was strangely electrifying, but she couldn’t quite put her finger as to why it was. Sure, there was a huge party tonight, but there were always parties in Teleios, and tonight wasn’t anything special.
Making her way to the café, she absently noticed a girl walking while holding her parents’ hands, a balloon tied to her wrist.
Cute panda, she thought when she saw the balloon’s design.
When she reached the café, she greeted the people behind the counter by their names. They had wider-than-usual grins on their faces, but she figured it was probably because more tourists tonight meant more tips for them.
Taking a seat at her usual booth in the back of the café, she noticed the new paper tablemats with interest. Black and white, just like a panda.
When Monica, one of the waitresses, approached her, she asked, “Are you guys redecorating?”
“Sort of,” Monica answered vaguely. “Are you ordering your usual?”
“Mm, maybe something heavier. Grant invited me to the party, and I have a feeling they’re not going to serve real food there.”
Monica laughed. “I believe you.”
She placed her order and after thanking Monica, she turned her attention towards the windows. Since the café had a beachfront location, she was able to enjoy
a nice view of the sea.
To her shock, she saw a couple of sailboats with pandas on it.
Just a coincidence, Daria told herself. But unease had stirred inside her. She finished her meal as quickly as she could and, after leaving a tip for Monica, she started making her way back to her room.
She was just going to text Grant and tell him she had an online walk-in and the money would be too good to pass up. He would understand. He was a nice guy.
A boisterous family was heading her way and she stepped aside to let them pass. When they did, she saw pandas printed on the backs of their shirts.
Paling, Daria hurried her steps, feeling like all the pandas were after her.
Just a few feet more, she thought, and she would be in the safety of her room. In her haste, Daria missed seeing the bottle right in front of her. She took one step and almost ended up rolling several feet away. She screamed as she fell, all the while thinking, A bottle? Really, God, a bottle? Just so we can come full circle, you want me to die because of a bottle?
But before her head could hit the sand, someone caught her from behind. The feel of those arms holding her, the heat of his presence, she knew exactly who he was even without seeing him.
He stood there, vibrantly beautiful, powerfully strong, just like how she had seen him the first time. Only now, he wasn’t bare-chested. He had a beige chambray shirt and white pants. He looked like a walking advert for Speedo meets Armani, so perfectly put together it just made her more conscious of how plain she looked. Uncombed hair up in a loose twist, dark circles under her eyes because she never put on make up these days, and a badly crumpled boyfriend shirt that screamed the fact that it was the same thing she had worn to bed last night.
All these thoughts about him and her flashed in her mind in a couple of seconds, and they all made her want to run away.
But what was the point, Daria thought painfully. She had a feeling he would find her. That if he really wanted to, he could and would find her. Like Liam Neeson. She would have laughed at her private joke if she weren’t afraid she wouldn’t be able to stop laughing. Nik Alexandropoulos had 55 billion worth of skills, and he could employ them to find whoever he wanted.
Only…with Daria, Nik wasn’t looking for her because he loved her and wanted to save her.
It was never that.
It would never be like that with Nik.
And she had all four months to accept that.
Chapter Four
Daria wasn’t talking. The moment she regained her balance, she stepped back and looked at him, her beautiful face unusually devoid of expression except for a hint of fear in her stormy gray eyes.
His fists clenched against his sides. She was scared of him. She was scared he would hurt her again.
“I had a feeling you’d look for me.” It took him a moment to realize Daria was the one speaking. The huskiness of her voice was gone, replaced by something thin, high, and…broken.
“But I tried my best to be careful.” She spoke to him with her gaze centered somewhere in his chest. “So…where did I go wrong?”
She looked so damn high-strung, he was torn between giving her more space and pulling her into his arms to tell her he was never going to hurt her again. “You did everything right.” His voice was uneven. “None of my investigators found you, but I knew you wouldn’t be able to stop drawing.” At her frown, he explained slowly, “I’m Bella.”
She jerked at the name.
“I used a friend’s photo, but the whole time, it was me. Just me. The only time the investigators were involved was when I needed to give them your IP address so I could find you.”
“And so now you found me.” Her voice was toneless. She looked up at him then. He expected her to ask why. He was ready to tell her. But instead she said one thing he had never imagined she would say.
“Please.” Her whisper was painful to hear, but despite the noise of the crowd around them, he heard her, and the word sliced him open. So much damn pain, so much fear in that single word, and Nik knew he was the reason for it.
“Please.” She remembered the last time they had been together – of Nik throwing her out even though he knew she had only been pretending to leave.
Her voice caught. “Please, could you just please…forgive me? How long are you going to make me pay?”
Nik’s face became ashen as he realized what she was saying. “Daria.” His voice was hoarse. “Daria, I—” But he couldn’t continue. How could he keep speaking when each word he uttered seem to hurt her more?
“I’m just so tired,” she said dully. “I know I lied, but I’m so tired of paying—”
“I’m not here to make you pay.” Unable to keep himself apart from Daria any longer, Nik reached for her, and the way she flinched sliced a deeper wound inside him because he knew he deserved it. “Listen to me,” he said rawly. “I know the truth now, everything—”
She shook her head, not wanting to hear a thing. “Please stop—” He was just telling her all of this because he wanted her back. He wanted to make her pay again.
“Everything, Daria, everything.” Desperation made him want to shake her until she looked up and saw the truth in his eyes. “I talked to your mom, and just talking to her…I’m sorry for what I said about her because I see it now. How you see her, how beautiful she is inside and out—”
“How could you stoop so low?” she cried out. “Using my mom—”
“I talked to your mom, and she made me realize how much I love you, how goddamn lucky I am that God chose me—”
A moan escaped her. “You know,” she said, stricken. “You know about the bottle, don’t you? You went through my things?” She started to laugh, and it was exactly as she had feared. She couldn’t stop laughing. “That’s why you’re here? You realize that the oh-so-experienced whore finally fell, and you can take your revenge—”
“No,” he rejected violently. The volume of his voice caught everyone’s attention, and Nik did his best to control himself. “Listen to me, Daria. Look at me.” The moment their eyes met, he said, “I love you—”
She couldn’t believe he could be so cruel. “How can you do this?” she whispered. He knew, God, he knew how badly she wanted to hear those words. And that was the plan, wasn’t it? Make her believe he loved her so he could hurt her again and again and again—
“I told you I’m sorry,” she choked out. “So what more do you want?”
“I want your love—”
“You don’t believe that I love—”
“I believe you now. I believed you the moment I talked to your mother. I believed even before I saw the bottle. The cake. The calendar.”
She wanted to sink to her knees at his words. Oh God, he knew everything. Every stupid little thing she had done because she loved him so much she had accepted being a cunt to him, for the sake of love.
Even Magnolia hadn’t sunk that low.
She pressed her hands to her eyes. “Please,” she choked out. “I don’t want to hear—”
“Listen to me.” This time, Nik did shake her. He could feel her slipping away from him even as she stayed in his arms, and he knew he had to make her listen now or she would be forever lost to him. “I believed you even before I got hold of the CCTV footage in my hotel. I saw you ask for Housekeeping to change the bed sheets with your blood in it.” His tone became driven. “I believed you even before I met every one of those twenty-eight frogs who were lucky enough to have you in their lives. I made sure they understood how much they had to lose if they ever spoke about you again.” He grimaced. “I also couldn’t use my hands for an entire week because of them.” But if he had hoped his joke would make her smile, he was disappointed, Daria only staring at him with a wan look in her eyes.
“Daria?” He swallowed. “Did you hear everything I said? Do you understand what I’m saying?”
Daria didn’t allow herself to answer. If she let him in just a little, it would be all over. He would make her weak and dirty again. He w
ould—
“I love you.”
She squeezed her eyes shut. “Please. I don’t want to cry, so please. C-can’t this be enough?” She pressed her hands to her eyes to keep the tears back. “Every day, I remember, and I’m paying—”
Nik watched Daria struggle just to breathe, and never had he hated himself more. This, he thought sickly, this was what his cruelty had reduced her to.
“I just have one thing to show you,” he heard himself say roughly. One last chance, God. Let me have it before You give her another prince, someone who would take care of her from the start.
“Just let me show you something and if you want me to stay away…” He fought for control even as the mere thought of not having Daria in his life tore him apart. “Open your eyes, sweetheart, please, just this last time.”
She opened her eyes, and he wasn’t surprised that she did. She had always been the one with more courage between the two of them. The one always ready to be hurt.
He took out his phone and clicked the browser so he could show Daria his company’s website. “My identity’s not hidden anymore.”
She took his phone shakily from his hands, and as she scrolled down, she saw that a huge photo of him…and Daria…was on the site’s homepage.
“I’ve got my photos on every tabloid, every damn gossip website, and it’s how I want it. I wanted…” He inhaled deeply. “I wanted you to know what kind of risk I’m taking. The whole world’s watching right now—” Nik jerked his head towards the crowd, and that was the only time she realized that unlike before, people weren’t just watching them fight. People were already recording the entire incident because now, they all knew who Nik was.
She looked at him, pale and confused. “I don’t understand.” And she was afraid to. She watched him pull out something from his back pocket and was shocked to see a frog mask.
“I want you to put it on me,” he said gutturally. “Please.” His voice was ragged when she didn’t make a move to take it.
