My Son's Next Wife

by Shelia E. Lipsey

  “Yes, I know that, but Stiles isn’t God. He won’t understand. He won’t forgive me.”

  “How do you know unless you sit down and talk to him, just like you did with me? Honey, Stiles adores you.”

  “I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore. I’m so messed up inside, Brooke. I feel so bad. I’m going to go and talk to Pastor Graham in a few days. I have to beg him to forgive me. I have to let him know how sorry I am. And I made up my mind that I’m going to ask him not to tell Stiles what I did.”

  “Detria, I don’t know if that’s a good idea. I think you should pray about telling Stiles the truth. How can you have a relationship built on trust if you don’t trust your husband enough to tell him what you did? He’s a man of God, Detria. And Stiles should understand your pain and hurt because he felt the same sense of loss as you did.”

  “You don’t hate me?” Detria zeroed in on her sister’s intense stare.

  “Hate you? Why would I hate you? I love you. You’re my sister.” Brooke hugged Detria. Both of them cried on each other’s shoulders.

  Detria pulled away from Brooke and wiped her face again. “Brooke, what am I going to do?”

  “Listen to me. This is fixable. I know it is. I believe what happened to you after your miscarriage was postpartum depression.”

  “Postpartum depression? But I thought that happened only to women who gave birth to a child. I didn’t know it could happen to women who had a miscarriage.”

  “Well, that’s where you’re wrong. Your hormone levels change during pregnancy, which I’m sure you are aware of.”

  Detria nodded her head slightly. Brooke continued to talk.

  “Just because you didn’t carry your baby to full term doesn’t mean you can’t experience postpartum. Postpartum depression is a serious illness, Detria. It can occur in the first few months after childbirth, but it can also happen after a miscarriage or stillbirth. I’m not trying to give you some far-fetched excuse for your actions, but what I am saying is that you are not in this alone. I wish you had come to me. I’m so sorry that you’ve been keeping this bottled up inside you for all of this time.”

  “I do feel better talking about it. I don’t know what I’d do without you, sis.”

  “If I have anything to do with it, you won’t have to do without me for a long, long time. What I want you to do now is nothing. I don’t want you to think about going to see Pastor Graham or about telling Stiles anything. First, you have to see about yourself. That means you need to talk to a counselor. A psychologist would probably do you good. There are plenty of Christian psychologists to see, if you’re concerned about that. And I’ll go with you. No one has to know but us. Then, after you talk to the psychologist, you’ll be better able to make a decision about what you need to do. I’ll be praying for you, and I’ll pray that Pastor Graham finds it in his heart to understand what happened to you, and that he’ll forgive you.”

  “And Stiles? What about my marriage? Brooke, I’m still scared.”

  “Listen, haven’t you heard a thing I’ve said? We’re going to get you through this. Stiles is going to understand. I know he will. Just try to trust in God, Detria. Don’t let the devil make you give up.”

  Detria sniffed. “Okay.”

  “Do you want me to warm up your soup? Knowing you, you probably haven’t been eating much. I can tell you’ve lost weight, and don’t tell me it’s because you’ve been working out, either.”

  “I have been working out.”

  “Yeah, but you haven’t been eating much I bet, now have you?” Brooke asked.

  “Not really.”

  “I’m not going to accept no for an answer. You’re at least going to eat your soup. Then I want you to lie down and take a nap. Your mind needs some rest. Don’t fight me on this, Detria.”

  “I’m not, Brooke. I’m too tired to fight anymore.”

  Chapter 19

  The love of a family is life’s greatest blessing.

  —Unknown

  Stiles made his way to Francesca’s room. He was eager to see his sister after having been unable to drive up to Dyersburg for almost a week because of his busy schedule. Thank God Francesca was able to talk on the phone every now and again. Plus, Brother Tim had been a constant by her side. Stiles caught the elevator, got off on Francesca’s floor, and made his way to her room.

  “Knock. Knock.” Stiles opened the door slowly upon hearing Francesca’s weak voice telling him to come in.

  “Hi, sis. How are you feeling?” Stiles asked. He stood by her bed and leaned down to kiss her on the cheek.

  “I’m feeling fine. God is good,” she said.

  “Where is your beau?” Stiles asked. He smiled along with his inquiry.

  “Boy, what are you talking about?” Francesca managed to put a smile on her face.

  “You know who I’m talking about. Your man, Brother Tim.”

  This time Francesca grinned. “You are so crazy. But to answer your question, Tim just called. He’ll be here later on this afternoon. He had to work overtime today.”

  “Oh, I see. That gives me a chance to grill you on this dude. I don’t want some shyster trying to come up on my baby sister.”

  “I’ve been round the block too many times to fall for that,” Francesca answered.

  “Do you like him?” Stiles’s voice grew serious, and the smile was no longer on his face.

  Francesca paused. “I think I do. I mean, it’s different, you know? Oh, I guess you don’t know.” She giggled, and so did Stiles. He sat down in the chair next to Francesca.

  “Why didn’t you tell me about him?”

  “I don’t know. I guess I didn’t know what was going on myself. All of this is so not like me. I’ve never been in a relationship with a man, except for when I was on drugs and doing any and everything to get my next high. And then with Tim, things just happened. I didn’t even know we were getting close to each other until one day he came over and started talking about how much he cared about me and how much he wanted to be my man. I was like, ‘You have got to be kidding.’” Francesca giggled.

  “I wish I could have been a fly on the wall to see and hear that,” Stiles commented.

  “At first, I looked at him like he was crazy. This guy knows how messed up I used to be, and he was standing in my apartment, talking about his feelings. It was so out there.”

  “I think he’s a good man, at least from the times I’ve talked to him. My spirit sets well with his. And I do know that he likes you. He likes you a lot.”

  “To be honest with you, that’s what I don’t understand, Stiles. How can he like me after hearing my testimony? I mean, the people at church know the kind of life I’ve led. He knows my story, and yet not only Tim, but my church family also has really been good to me, especially since I’ve been in the hospital.”

  “That’s nothing but God, girl. God already has people lined up along our path who will love us, direct us, and help us. He knows every move we make and every misstep we take, yet He loves us, anyway. You’ve gone through a lot, sis. I can’t say that I’ve always understood why you chose the things you did in your life, but I do know that God knows. And no matter what has occurred, or how bad things are, God is the one who has our backs. Maybe Brother Tim is a man God has allowed in your life to show you what love between a man and a woman can really be like. God’s love is not based on conditions and circumstances. He loves us just because.”

  “I’m so glad He does, Stiles. I’m lying here in this hospital bed with full-blown AIDS. At times I’ve asked God to take me on away from here to be with Him. But for some reason, I’m still here. That tells me there is still something God needs me to do. As for Tim, I care about him. I care about him a lot. I think I might even be in love with him. Now I know that may sound crazy to you. An in-it-for-life lesbian like me is in love with a man? That’s cheesy, isn’t it?” Francesca grinned again. “God sure has a sense of humor.”

  “That He does. But God can change the he
art of any man or woman, boy or girl. God has the first, middle, and last words to say. I’m glad He brought Brother Tim into your life. I don’t know what the future holds for the two of you, but I believe it’s going to be good, if you let it. You’ve got to get up out of this bed and proclaim God’s goodness to people like you, who have given up hope. You have a story to tell, Francesca. I know I haven’t always been the kind of brother you needed me to be, and for that I’m sorry. But I’m here for you now. Believe it or not, you’ve taught me a few things about love and forgiveness.”

  “Wow, that’s heavy coming from you, bro.” Tears streamed down Francesca’s face.

  Stiles took his fingers and wiped them gently away. “I have to say what I mean. Your life has been a journey, but through it all God has brought you full circle. I see Him living inside of you again, Francesca. Great things are ahead for you. I know it, and I believe it.”

  “Thank you. I receive it too.” Her voice was tender. “How is Pastor?”

  “I guess it’s time to tell you what’s been going on.”

  Francesca tried to ease up in the bed. Stiles stood quickly to help her get in a more comfortable position. “What are you talking about?”

  “The day I received the call about you being in the hospital is the same day Pastor was admitted to the hospital.”

  Francesca’s face fell into a frown. “Is he all right?”

  “Yes, he’s going to be just fine. He had some complications from his stroke.” Stiles left out the part about Pastor being abused on purpose. He didn’t think it was necessary to divulge that kind of heartrending information to his sister. He didn’t want her to have a setback. “He’s in Health South Rehab, undergoing speech therapy and occupational therapy. He’s up walking around, and his speech is returning. He doesn’t know that you’re in the hospital. I didn’t want to tell him until both of you got better.”

  “I’m glad you made that call. Had he known about me, it probably would have made matters worse for him. He would have been trying his best to convince you to bring him up here.”

  “I know it. I still don’t know when I’m going to tell him.”

  “Don’t. Just tell him that I’ve been asking about him, and that I’ll get down there to see him as soon as I can.”

  “I will. He knows you love him. That’s the important thing.”

  “But I want him to know that I haven’t been ignoring the fact that he’s in the hospital. I don’t want him to think I’ve deserted him.”

  “I promise you that I won’t let him think that. He doesn’t have a phone in his room right now, so that’s good. That way he doesn’t have to worry about who’s calling and who’s not.”

  “Good. The doctor said I may be going home in a few days. I can call him then. I thought I might be going home today, but the doctor came in early this morning and said he wants to keep an eye on me for a little while longer before he discharges me.”

  “Obey the doctor, Francesca. I know how thick-headed you can be, and you do, too.” Stiles laughed.

  “How is Detria doing? Are you all pregnant again?”

  “She’s doing okay. And no, we aren’t pregnant again. I think she’s still having a hard time dealing with the loss of the baby. Believe me, I understand what she’s going through because I feel bad myself. But I also believe that God is going to restore what we have lost. No child will take the place of the one we lost, but God is going to turn our tears of sadness to tears of joy. He’s going to give us a family. He’s going to make sure you’re an auntie and that Pastor is a grandpa.”

  “That’s good, Stiles. That’s real good.”

  Without warning, Francesca’s eyes closed and Stiles heard her light breathing. She had fallen asleep instantly. He sat next to her and watched her as she slept. He forced his tears to stay back as he thought of losing his sister. He prayed that God would let her live and not die. There was so much more ministry for Francesca. She had someone who loved her and wanted her just the way she was. Stiles softly took hold of her hand and gently began to massage it. His memories of his mother were strong, and grief made his heart grow heavy. He thought of his child being in heaven with Audrey and smiled slightly.

  His own body began to succumb to fatigue. He laid his head back against the chair, and within minutes he was asleep.

  The phone rang and woke Stiles up. He looked around like he was confused as the hospital room phone continued to ring. When he found his bearings, Stiles walked around to the other side of Francesca’s bed and picked up the phone. Francesca hadn’t budged an inch. “Hello.”

  “Hello. Stiles? Is that you?”

  “Yes. Rena?”

  “Hi, there. How is Francesca?”

  “She’s doing much better. She’s sleeping right now.”

  “Tell that girl when she wakes up that I said to stop pretending to be asleep so she won’t have to take my calls. I know that game.” Stiles could hear Rena laughing on the other end. He laughed too.

  “I’ll be sure to tell her that. How are you doing?”

  “Great. I was sitting here at home watching the Food Network, and I thought of Francesca. I hadn’t heard back from you, so I thought I would call to see how things were going. Is she going to be getting out of the hospital anytime soon?” Rena asked.

  “I think so. She was saying that the doctor came in this morning and told her she may be going home in a few days. You know Francesca. She’s a fighter. If there’s any way she can get out of here, she will.”

  “I know that’s right. How is Pastor getting along?”

  “He’s doing better too. Thank you for asking.”

  “No need to thank me. I still care about Francesca and Pastor. I always will.”

  “And me?” Stiles asked.

  “What about you?” Rena responded.

  “Do you still care about me?”

  Rena remained quiet.

  “Oh, it’s like that, huh?” Stiles tried to sound like he was laughing, but he really wasn’t.

  “No, it’s not like that. Of course I care about you. I’m a child of God, so I am commanded to love. You just caught me off guard, that’s all. Well, I’m not going to hold you. Will you tell Francesca I called?”

  Stiles acted like he didn’t hear what Rena said. He followed up with questions of his own. “You still with that guy you brought to my mother’s funeral? What’s his name, Bob? Robert? I guess you’re married to him by now, huh?”

  “For your information, Robert is fine, and we are not married, but we are very much still together,” Rena answered with added emphasis. “I told you when I talked to you after your marriage that I had no plans of getting remarried anytime soon.”

  “Oh, is that right?” Stiles raised his eyebrows. He had no idea why he was giving Rena a hard time, but he was enjoying it. “I can’t believe Robert has allowed you to be single for this long.”

  A voice of anger penetrated through the phone. “Look, no man allows me to do anything. I am my own person. Of all people, you should know that, Stiles.”

  “Oooh, sounds like somebody’s getting a little testy. Anyway, tell me, Mrs. Graham, when are you two jumping the broom?” This was one of those times Stiles was glad he could reminisce a little by calling Rena by his last name. There were women who asked for the return of their maiden names when they got divorced, but not Rena. The request had never come up. Deep inside, part of Stiles was glad she still wore his last name.

  “It’s Ms. Graham, please. Anyway, what’s with all of these personal questions?”

  “We are still friends, and I’m just curious. You mean you’re going to jump on me because I asked a few personal questions?”

  “Don’t worry, Stiles. I’m sure when that day comes, you’ll find some way to hear about it. Anyway, please tell Francesca that I’m praying for her. Oh, and tell Pastor too. I really have to hang up now. Take care of yourself.”

  “You too, Rena. I’ll check you later.” Stiles looked at the phone, smiled, and put it
back on its base. He walked back around the bed to reclaim his seat. He looked around Francesca’s bed until he saw the television remote. He flipped through several channels until he found something of interest.

  Chapter 20

  There is only one person who could ever make you

  happy, and that person is you.

  — David Burns

  Rena tried to dismiss the questions Stiles had asked. Why was he interested in her personal life when he had a wife at home? There was no reason for him to inquire about Robert and their relationship. It irritated her, something Stiles always seemed able to do at a whim. Today was no different. A phone call to check on Francesca had turned into a question-and-answer game with her ex. The worst part about it was that she had allowed him to interrogate her. The fact that he had called her Mrs. Graham further infuriated her. “How dare he?” she yelled out loud.

  The doorbell rang. Rena jumped off the den chair like an angry cat. “Robert,” she mouthed. “Wait just a minute. I’m coming,” she said.

  Rena opened the red front door. “Hi, sweetie,” she said and moved to the side to allow Robert entrance.

  “Hi, yourself,” he answered in return and kissed her lips.

  “I thought you were going to bring the kids with you.”

  “I was, but then my sister called. She wanted to take them to a birthday party one of her coworkers is having for her little boy at, uuuhhh, that pizza place—”

  “Chuck E. Cheese’s?” Rena said.

  “No, not Chuck E. Cheese’s.”

  “Incredible Pizza?” Rena guessed again.

  “Yep, that’s it. Incredible Pizza. Their being gone gives us at least a couple hours of alone time. I like that,” Robert said as he reached out to embrace Rena.

  Rena eased out of his arms. “We don’t want one thing to lead to another.” As much as she wanted to indulge in lovemaking with Robert, she knew she was not going to take that step until she was his wife. She was celibate, and she planned on remaining that way until the day God saw fit for her to commit herself to a man in marriage. She hoped that man would be Robert.