Guarding His Heart

by Synithia Williams

  “You need to figure that out,” Jada said as if she’d just read her sister’s mind. “What if he’s out there sleeping around with a bunch of other people?”

  “We’re together enough, okay. I mean, there aren’t any reports of him being seen with anyone else. He doesn’t freak out about the needles, and even makes sure I’m feeling okay. Just because we haven’t said anything doesn’t mean he’s sleeping around. We’re having fun.”

  “Spoken like a delusional woman,” Jada said. “Don’t settle for years of undefined fun if that’s not what you want.”

  “Who says this isn’t what I want?” She liked what she had going with Kevin. Questioning him about the actual terms of their relationship would make her seem as if she was trying to rush into something. She wasn’t. Really. She wanted a relationship one day. For now, why couldn’t she just enjoy what they had going?

  “What happens when the fun run ends?” Jada asked seriously. “You should end things with him now. Before you’re too caught up in this undefined situation you’ve got going with him.”

  “I’m fine. We aren’t talking marriage or anything. I won’t get hurt.”

  “But you want marriage and all that. You told me so after Julio. Don’t go down the same path.”

  Damn tequila shots and a broken heart. Inner secrets were supposed to stay that way. Not blurted out in a moment of alcohol-supported weakness for sisters to toss back at inappropriate times.

  “I’m not.” Jasmine’s voice was tight. “Look, I’ve got to finish packing. I’ll give you a call later.”

  Jada sighed. “Fine. Do you. Have fun with the player.”

  “And you do you. Meet with the woman who abandoned us.”

  “You know what. I’ll talk to you later.”

  “Yeah, later.” Jasmine ended the call and tossed the phone back on the bed.

  Her gaze strayed over to the bag of new lingerie she’d purchased the day before. Something sexy for her meeting with Kevin. Just the idea of him peeling the black lace off her had gotten her slick and ready in the store.

  Maybe she was a little addicted to the great sex. Walking away from good sex was about as hard as nailing a perfect score on the SATs.

  Besides, the good sex hadn’t clouded her judgment. They talked, had great conversations, seemed to vibe, but weren’t lovers supposed to? She knew what was up. They’d made that clear. She wasn’t falling in love. She was not in danger of putting Kevin in a position to break her heart.

  Jada was crazy and obviously not thinking straight. She was meeting Kathy, for goodness’ sake. Not the person to take advice from.

  Jasmine’s phone chimed. She tossed the lingerie in the overnight bag and swiped up her phone. A text from Kevin was on screen.

  I can’t wait to see you tomorrow. I miss you.

  Jasmine bit her lip and grinned. Her heart raced with excitement. This was what having fun was all about. There was no harm in having fun.

  She pulled out the lingerie, arranged the sexy black lace on the bed and snapped a photo. Quickly she sent the picture with a kiss emoji and her response:

  Missing you, too.

  Chapter 14

  Kevin wasn’t sure what was the best way to announce to his teammates that he was leaving. He just knew doing it via press conference or company memo wasn’t the route to take. Beers and barbecue seemed much better.

  He pulled two beers from the outdoor fridge next to his grill. His teammate Jacobe teased Kevin about his elaborate backyard cooking setup that included a charcoal and gas grill, wood smoker and a fish cleaning station. Mostly because, for all of his gadgets, Kevin only used the items once or twice a year. When he did, it was typically for a big get-together at his house. Today’s invitation had only gone out to the three other guys he considered friends on the team: Isaiah, Will and Jacobe. They deserved to hear the news first.

  He popped the top on one beer and passed the second to Isaiah. His three friends lounged in the extra-large sofas and chairs on his stone patio. The smell of hickory wood chips in the smoker filled the air.

  Isaiah took the beer from Kevin and opened it. His clean-cut best friend looked ready for a debate club meeting in his perfectly pressed blue polo shirt and khaki shorts. The smile that perpetually graced his face since asking his girlfriend, Angela, to marry him was still there. “Kevin, how much longer until those ribs are ready? I’m about to go directly into your smoker and eat them.”

  Kevin laughed and glanced at the black smokehouse. “I put them in at five this morning. They’ll be ready soon. I want to tell you guys something first.”

  Will rubbed his beard, then pointed at Jacobe. “See, I told you there was something going on.” Will, the easygoing member of their group, had spent most of the morning checking the Instagram likes on a picture he posted the night before and sending messages to the latest woman in his string of flings. He put his phone down and focused on Kevin.

  Jacobe held out his hand toward Kevin. “Hold up. Let the man talk first.” Once considered the wild card of the league, Jacobe had mellowed out completely after getting married the year before. Now the guy most likely to start a fight on the court was not only the poster child for happy married men, he was the biggest champion for the environment in their city, thanks in part to a huge influence from his wife.

  “Thank you,” Kevin said. “Though Will is right. There is something going on.”

  Isaiah shifted forward in his seat. “Is everything okay?”

  Kevin rubbed his knees—they weren’t bothering him as much today—then looked at the three guys who were the closest he had to brothers. “I’m announcing my retirement in a few weeks.”

  The level of surprise on their faces wasn’t unexpected.

  Will shook his head. “Hell, no. You’re a key member of this team.”

  Jacobe put his beer down. “Kevin, you can’t be serious. We’re on a roll.”

  Isaiah took a deep breath. His dark eyes looked at Kevin with understanding. “It’s the RA. Isn’t it?”

  Of the three, Isaiah was the one Kevin was closest to. They’d struck up a friendship despite their age difference and opposite personalities. Isaiah was more reserved than Kevin, but his measured personality meant he often served as a sounding board whenever Kevin needed to talk. He’d noticed Kevin’s stiffness during the season and told him it was more than sore muscles. He’d been the first person Kevin called after getting the diagnosis.

  Jacobe looked from Isaiah to Kevin. “RA? What the hell is RA?”

  “Rheumatoid arthritis,” Kevin said. “I was diagnosed after the playoffs.” He brought his friends up to speed on the conversation he’d had with his agent and their plans to try to find a way to keep him connected to the league in some way.

  All three were silent for several seconds after Kevin finished talking. Will met his gaze and nodded. “Kevin, you know we’ve got you.”

  “I’m sorry I let you guys down. Let the team down,” Kevin said.

  Jacobe shook his head. “You aren’t letting anyone down. Are we disappointed to see you go? Yeah, but we understand why. Your health is way more important than the team.”

  “He’s right,” Isaiah said. “We’re going to miss you on the court, but just because you aren’t playing doesn’t mean you’re not still a part of the team. Take care of yourself, man.”

  Man law said Kevin should blame the warmth in his chest on the sunlight. He’d been crazy for thinking he’d lose this, his friendship with his boys.

  Will stood. “You know what this means?” He walked over to the smoker. “You’ll have plenty of time to fire up your toys. I expect major feasts after each Gators win.”

  Kevin laughed. He got up and strolled over to Will. “Feasts?”

  “Hell yeah,” Will said. “I’m talking burgers, ribs, Boston butts, brisket and everything. You’ve got enough here
to open your own steak house.”

  Kevin checked the ribs through the panel. “I’ll think about that. For now, these ribs are ready. Let’s eat.”

  Kevin got out the ribs. They ate, talked about the upcoming season, Isaiah’s wedding plans and Jacobe’s eagerness to start a family. It was a good day that further cemented his friendship with his brothers by choice.

  Isaiah stuck around after Will and Jacobe left, and they moved from the back patio to the game room. Kevin’s cell phone buzzed. He checked and smiled at the text from Jasmine. She would be there tomorrow morning. Even though he enjoyed his friends’ company, if he could snap his finger to make them disappear and have Jasmine there instead, he would do so.

  They’d spent a few weekends together and still, that wasn’t enough. She was back in Georgia and would be for the next few weeks. He was going to Atlanta the following week to catch up with his oldest daughters. When he was in Atlanta, he spent as much time with his girls as possible.

  But with Jasmine so close he wanted to spend time with her, as well. Remembering her last freak-out, he was going to have to do a little maneuvering to manage his time without her crossing paths with his kids. He’d done that before with other women. Doing so with Jasmine didn’t feel the same. His daughters would like her. He wanted them to like her.

  “When are you going to tell me what’s up with you and this woman?” Isaiah asked after Kevin texted back, telling Jasmine he’d meet her at her hotel.

  “What do you mean, what’s up?” Kevin slipped his phone back in his pocket. He picked up the bottle of water he’d grabbed to counteract the beers from earlier and took a swig.

  “Are you two serious?” Isaiah asked.

  “Serious? Why would you automatically go there?”

  Isaiah raised a brow. “Because you’ve spent several weekends with her.”

  “I’ve spent several weekends with other women,” Kevin said.

  “Yeah, but none of the women make you smile like this. I recognize that smile. It’s the same one I get when I think about Angela.”

  “Oh, we’re analyzing smiles now?” Kevin asked with a raised brow.

  “Yeah, so spill it. Who is she and how long has this been going on?”

  “Her name is Jasmine,” Kevin said, deciding not to go into the meaning of his smile. “I met her during the Sports Fitness shoot. We’ve been hanging out over the summer.”

  “Are y’all exclusive?”

  They hadn’t talked about exclusivity. He hadn’t slept with anyone else. Not that he would do that anyway. He’d break things off before moving on. The thing was, he didn’t want to move on. He didn’t think she was sleeping with anyone else either, but he couldn’t really demand that she be exclusive when they weren’t putting a name on what they were doing.

  “It’s complicated,” Kevin answered.

  Isaiah raised a brow. “Complicated? Either you’re getting serious with her or you’re not. How is this complicated?”

  Not being sure about what he wanted to do with this thing between him and Jasmine complicated things. “Because, defining what we’re doing creates expectations. Expectations I’m not ready to deal with. I’ve done the messy breakup before. I don’t want to do that anymore.”

  Isaiah shook his head. “You’re already thinking about messy breakups? Come on, man, you can’t be thinking about the end when you’re just getting started.”

  “I disagree. You have to think about the fallout if things don’t go right before you get into something,” Kevin replied. That’s why he preferred keeping things casual. Casual meant a clean break followed by moving on. “I’m trying to keep things chill.”

  “Kevin, man, I know you don’t want to get married again. That doesn’t mean you can’t go ahead and say this Jasmine woman is more than a casual affair. So what if she puts expectations on you? You’re a decent dude.”

  “I’m a decent dude with an uncertain future, a body breaking down on me, four kids and two women whose hearts I’ve already broken. I’m not trying to drag anyone else into that.” He wouldn’t have admitted as much if Jacobe and Will were still there. He trusted Isaiah a little more to see the frustration that was his failure at making relationships work. A legacy left to him by his father.

  “If she knows about all of that, and she’s cool with that, then that’s for her to decide. Everybody has issues, man. You telling me Jasmine’s perfect?”

  Perfect for him. “She’s got her own stuff.”

  “Does that make you like her any less?”

  “No.”

  Isaiah shrugged. “Well, then. Don’t be afraid to take this casual thing you’ve got and make it a little more permanent.”

  “How am I supposed to do that?”

  “Angela is planning a couples night tomorrow. Bring Jasmine.”

  “We said no friends.”

  Isaiah stood and slipped his car keys from his pocket. “Was that before or after you realized you’re feeling more for her than just what’s between her legs?”

  Jasmine had intrigued him from the start. Keeping this noncommittal was supposed to keep him from ultimately hurting her. What if he failed to give her what she needed just as he had with Sabrina and Hanna? What if he couldn’t be there for her? Especially now that he had the RA to deal with?

  But what if you can? What if you could do better?

  Isaiah lightly punched Kevin’s shoulder as he walked to the door. “Tomorrow at eight. You’ve got a lot of changes in your life right now. This one could be positive.”

  Kevin considered his friend’s words long after he’d left.

  Chapter 15

  Jasmine watched the lights flash by from the passenger seat of Kevin’s large SUV. They were crossing the Buckman Bridge over the Saint Johns River on their way to a party at Kevin’s teammate’s home. She’d gotten in the night before and had greeted Kevin at her hotel room door wearing nothing but a silky robe. They’d spent the rest of the night and following day in bed.

  Later that afternoon, after they’d gone out for food and come back to his place, he’d broached the subject.

  “I know we said no friends, but one of my teammates is having a get-together at his house tonight. I thought we might swing through,” he’d said while they’d lounged on the couch. They were supposed to be watching a movie but had spent the first thirty minutes kissing like teenagers on a first date.

  “Yeah, sure.” She’d tried to keep a no-big-deal quality to her voice, though excitement trickled through her veins. She was taking her sister’s advice and had decided to figure out what to do about her and Kevin. They’d been sleeping together for over a month, and she knew the time was coming for her to end things before she lost her heart.

  The corner of his lips twitched, then a slow sexy smile spread across his handsome face. “You sure?”

  She’d been lying on top of him on the couch. Beneath her hands resting on his chest, she could feel the steady, heavy beat of his heart. His dark gaze asked a question she too was afraid to verbalize. Were they ready to take another step forward?

  She’d nodded and leaned in to kiss him. “I’m sure.”

  Now as they were on their way to hang out with his friends, their relationship status was about all she could think about. God, she wasn’t supposed to be here. She was supposed to have learned from her mistakes. The smart thing to do would be to break things off now and move on. She didn’t want marriage now, but one day she would. Guys like Kevin were fun flings. Not serious long-term hookups.

  Kevin’s warm hand covered hers where it rested on her knee. “Why are you so quiet?”

  She turned away from the passing lights to face him. Even in the dim glow, he took her breath away. He wore a stylish, light gray T-shirt and darker gray slacks, both of which brought out the perfectly toned muscles in his large body. He glanced at her from the corner of
his sexy dark eyes.

  “Thinking about things.”

  “Oh really?” His full lips tilted up in a smile that made her blood sizzle and pop. “What kind of things?”

  “Mostly how much I’ve enjoyed myself so far this weekend.”

  He squeezed her hand. “Enjoyed myself is an understatement. You coming to see me is the perfect ending to my visit here.”

  A warm and fuzzy feeling blossomed in her chest. Jasmine bit her lip to stop the huge grin from spreading across her face. “And why is that?”

  “I was really worried about coming back to Jacksonville, talking to my agent and breaking it to the team owners.” The flirtation went out of his face and his brows drew together. “I expected things to go badly.”

  They hadn’t talked much about his meetings with the team. Mostly because they hadn’t talked about anything too deep. He’d only mentioned that things had gone well.

  She could keep things superficial but found herself not wanting to accept that. “Why did you expect things to go badly?”

  He lifted and lowered his shoulders. “I don’t know. I just thought ending my basketball career would mean ending my connection to the game completely. My agent surprised me. He wants to keep working with me and has ideas for ways to continue to promote me after we announce my retirement. He wants to find ways to keep me connected to the game.”

  “Oh really, like what?”

  He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. “Broadcasting maybe. Sports reporting?” His tone was questioning. How could he possibly doubt himself? He loved the game, and transitioning to sports reporting would keep him connected.

  “That’s actually a really great idea,” she said. “You’ve played since you were eighteen. You know the ins and outs of the game and you have an outgoing personality. It sounds kind of perfect for you.”

  Tension left his shoulders. His hand on hers tightened and the smile he shot her made her feel as if she’d just made his day. “That’s what I thought. It’s not set in stone. I’ve still got to see if someone is interested, but Clive is looking out for me.”