by Toni Aleo
“We did too, even though I think Callie is still a little bitchy.”
“She is,” I laugh, shaking my head. That girl can hold a grudge, but I don’t blame her. I’m still resentful of the way my mom threw my shit out like that. Luckily, Aviva still likes me—or at least what we did last night seems to make me think so. “But it’s fine. She’ll get there.”
She exhales loudly. “I don’t like it. Maybe I should ground her more.”
“Because that will make her love my mom,” I say dryly. “We’ll talk about it later. I’m pulling in at Chandler’s. Wait, where are you at?”
“I’m running so late. I had a dinner rush, and then I had to go sign some paperwork for a leotard at Callie’s gym. I’m getting ready now, so I’ll be over in about an hour. I won’t miss dinner. I’ll just miss you complaining about walking up an aisle.”
I grin as I get out of my truck. “You know me so well.”
“I do. See you in a bit.”
“Bye, baby.”
I hang up, tucking my phone into my pocket as I walk up the driveway. I thought my mom staying for two weeks would make things messy since she apparently loves throwing my shit out in the open, but really, it was fun. She got along with Aviva and kind of with Callie. It was nice to have my three girls together. I know I felt all kinds of things, and I think it only made me fall for Aviva even more. I’m ready for some time with just Callie and Aviva—and some really, really alone time with Aviva.
Gotta get through this rehearsal first.
Chandler’s place is packed with cars, from vendors to family. That need to run is deep in my gut, and I consider hightailing it out of this bitch, but I promised Chandler I would be here. I won’t let him down, not when he has always been there for me. So I take in a deep breath and let it out slowly as if I’m in net. When I feel like I can do this, I head up the stairs, open the door, and walk in. I see everyone on the back porch, but then Amelia comes out of a bedroom with Carter in her arms. “Hey, you’re late.”
I shrug. “Sorry. I got caught up at therapy. Apparently I’m growing up.”
She nods with an impressed look on her face. “Who would have thought it?”
“My thoughts exactly. Give me my man.”
“So, what makes you believe you’re growing up?”
I grin at Carter as I smush his cheeks. “I am picking up on social cues and trying to think before I act.”
“Like impulse control? Something you’ve never had.”
“Right? I’m getting there. Watch out, World. I might be an adult soon.” She laughs as I cuddle Carter in my arms before leaning over to kiss Amelia on her cheek. “You look stunning.”
Her face warms with color as she runs her hands down the flowy white dress she’s wearing. It’s a weird material, like a tent material, really, and it floats around her, showing the outline of her body as she moves. Her hair is braided, and her makeup is done how she used to wear it all the time until the kids came. “Thanks, Nico. I’m proud of you.”
I grin at her. “You are? Do you like me yet?”
She scoffs, rolling her eyes. “Where’s Aviva?”
“Running late. She’s coming.”
She nods. “Well, come on. I think everyone is waiting for us.”
I kiss Carter’s head. “Duh. We’re the party.”
She laughs as I follow her through the kitchen to the porch. Soon, I’m greeted by Chandler’s mom and dad, and I try to ignore all of Amelia’s family members who are here. Chandler’s mom distracts me, gushing over me, while his dad talks about my game play. There are so many people in such a small space. Apparently Amelia’s whole damn family is here, and that alone is like sixty people. I swear they’re like a pack, all ready to tear you to pieces if you dishonor one of them… I need to stop watching Game of Thrones. Thankfully I don’t see Shelli yet, and I’m hoping maybe she skipped. I really don’t want to play nice with that fuc— I mean Brooks. Aiden Brooks. Nope, can’t do it. He’s a fuckbag. Nothing to do with Shelli; he’s just a dick.
Chandler comes over, patting me on the back, and I give him a cheesy grin. “You’re doing great,” he whispers, and I stare into his eyes, cheesy grin still not moving.
“I want to die.”
He laughs. “I know. I’m sorry. Come on, let’s go down on the beach.”
I follow him down the stairs and onto the beach. I don’t notice Chandler’s dad is following until I see the legendary Shea Adler. I almost trip over myself, but I thankfully make it to the sand before turning around.
“Hey, Mr. Adler.”
Shea looks at me like I’m junk. I don’t think he cares for me. I know he knows I banged his daughter, and I think I might have called him an old man when I met him for the first time. What? I was nervous, and in my defense, I was freaking out, drunk, and trying to get Shelli back. Basically an emotional basket case. “Merryweather. Good game last night.”
“Fucking right. Won’t let you guys beat us anymore.” Why do I sound like an idiot when I talk to this guy?
“Remember who has the Cup.”
I guess those Nashville Assassins colors run deep, ’cause he narrows his eyes.
Chandler chuckles nervously as I gawk at him while Shea walks past us, talking to Chandler’s dad. “That guy hates me.”
Chandler nods. “Me too. It’s okay. Apparently he accepted Aiden into the family, which I don’t understand. I’m way better than that dude.”
I make a face. “Duh. He’s a fuckbag.”
Chandler smirks as he shakes his head. “Be nice. Not really trying to stress out Amelia. She’s actually calm, even though she’s struggling with her dad not being here.”
Amelia’s dad passed a while back, and I imagine it’s hard not having him here to walk her down the aisle. “I’ll be nice, only for her.”
“You’re so kind,” he says dryly. “Where is Aviva?”
“She’s coming,” I say, and I want to laugh at how Aviva is just a part of me. If I’m here, where is she? It’s nice, and damn it, I miss her. I’m ready for a week off to spend the whole time with her. I figure she’s gonna put me to work in the shop, and I won’t mind. I’ll be with her.
“Everything okay with your mom?”
“Good.”
“Awesome,” he says just as Shelli catches my eye. She comes down the stairs in a drapey teal dress that cuts down the front, showing not only the swells of her breasts but her belly button. She’s lost weight. She’s not as thick as I remember, but she’s still very beautiful. Her hair is long, darker than it was. When her eyes land on me, I wait for the desire to swirl in my gut. It’s one thing to hear her name and feel nothing, but seeing her potentially could be a different hockey game.
It’s not.
All I can think is she has absolutely nothing on Aviva.
Shelli takes in a deep breath as she reaches the bottom of the stairs. “Hey there, Nico.”
She goes for a hug, and I meet her for one. “Hey, Shell. How’s life treating you?”
“Good, thanks. Working at the Assassins compound and planning our wedding.”
I nod. “I heard. Congratulations.”
“Thank you,” she says, and she seems surprised. “I’m marrying Aiden.”
“Yeah, I know.”
She looks as if she is waiting for something, and I look at Chandler and then back to her. She looks annoyed as she says, “Okay then.”
“Okay,” I say as Chandler puts his hand on my shoulder. “So where is the fu—”
Chandler laughs as he cuts me off. That’s probably for the best. I don’t want to see the dude, and I sure as hell don’t want to talk to him. “Let’s go get this started.”
So, we do. It’s painful, stupid, and I hate every second of it, but then watching Amelia being walked down the aisle by her big brother, Ryan, kind of hits me in the gut. It’s obvious how much the dude loves his sister. I don’t have siblings, but I kind of think of Callie as the little sister I never had or wanted. Ryan holds
Amelia so delicately, and it’s just a rehearsal. I bet I’ll be like that when Callie gets married. No one else is walking her but me. Aviva might fight me on that, but I can take her. A grin pulls at my lips, and it’s crazy how my mind is working now. I never wanted any of this. But now, I can’t wait for tomorrow. It’s going to be beautiful. I’m ready to see my best friend live his dreams. I’m ready to live my own.
When we’re done, everyone gathers along the beach for drinks and appetizers. Since it’s entirely too many people in one spot, I stand in the water as it runs up on my ankles. It feels amazing, so I hold Carter in the water, and he kicks playfully. He’s gonna be a water baby; I’ll make sure of it. When the little guy lets out a shrill of happiness, I realize I want one of these little buggers. It would be fun.
Man, this wedding has me in my feels.
When I feel an arm slide around my waist and Aviva kisses my cheek, my heart explodes. I grin over at her, kissing her lips.
“Is Amelia going to kill you?”
I shrug as I stand up, cuddling the wet little fat baby into my chest. “Probably.”
She shakes her head. “No one answered the door, so I just walked in.”
“That’s cool. You get everything done?”
“Yeah, and then I had to drop Callie off at Sammie’s for some team-building thing? I don’t know. I told her I had to pick her up at four tomorrow for the wedding.”
I look her over in her hot little halter dress and grin. “Hey there, hottie.”
She scoffs. “Hush, before I take you on this beach.”
I hold up Carter. “You dirty woman. I have a baby.”
She giggles, but before she can say anything, someone runs up on me. I move into Aviva as the girl steadies herself, looking up at me. She’s a mini Shelli, but thicker with more auburn-colored hair. She’s beautiful, with big blue eyes and thick lips. I feel like I know her, like I’ve met her. But one thing is for sure. The girl is drunk off her ass. She smells as if she swam in the bar.
“Are you Nico Merryweather?”
I hold Carter close to my chest. “I am.”
“I’m Posey Adler,” she says, jerking her thumb into her chest, but she does it so hard, she somehow hits herself in the chin. She doesn’t even flinch. “And I know you don’t know me and that you’ve fucked my sister, but I know that you like to fuck. So, can you fuck me?”
I’d like to say that I’m shocked, but it isn’t the first time someone has asked me this. Aviva, though, she’s shocked. “What the—”
I grab Aviva’s hand. “It’s okay.”
“It is not,” she says, her eyes wide. “Not only do you not know him, but he has a baby in his arms. That’s ridiculous.”
Posey points at her. “Shh, you. Stop cockblocking.”
“Oh, I’m gonna cockblock. He’s my fucking man!”
Aw, she makes me feel special.
Shelli comes out of nowhere and steps between Posey and me. “What in the world is your problem? Take your drunk ass to bed.”
“Who’s drunk?”
We all look back to where Shea Adler is glaring down at us. “No one, Daddy. I’ve got this,” Shelli answers quickly.
He looks at Posey. “What’s wrong with you?”
“I’m drunk, Daddy!” she yells, throwing up her hands, almost falling into the ocean. “You sent him away. You decided he wasn’t good enough for the Assassins.” She jerks her head back and cries out loudly. She loses her balance, though, and falls into the water. Shelli sighs dramatically but doesn’t move to rescue her.
I point to her. “You gonna help her up?”
“Nope,” she says simply. “Maybe the water will cool her off. She’s been on a whole other level since she found out our billet boy was sent to Nebraska.”
Shelli looks over at Aviva, and I watch as she sizes her up. With a very fake smile, Shelli says, “I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Shelli Adler.”
I wrap my arm around Aviva, pulling her in close. Shelli’s eyes move between us as I say, “This is my girlfriend, Aviva Pearce.”
She slowly nods, and I feel Aviva tense in my arms. “How wonderful. It’s nice to meet you. I don’t know where my fiancé Aiden ran off to. He plays with my brothers like he is still a teenager—” Her words fall off when Posey sputters water.
We all look down at her, and I say, “I don’t think Amelia would be happy if she drowned.”
Shelli sighs dramatically. “Let me get her inside before Amelia freaks out.”
She gathers her sister, and I glance over to Aviva with an amused look on my face. “That was something.”
She doesn’t look the least bit happy, and that’s just wonderful. “Yup.”
“You okay?”
“Fine.”
“Don’t sound like it.”
Aviva looks up at me. “That was pathetic.”
I nod. “Yeah, but not the first time.” By the way her face changes from pissed to even more pissed, I realize I should have left that part out.
“Does it happen often?”
“I mean, I’m a good-looking dude.”
“Nico!”
“What? I don’t give in. I’m with you.”
She exhales harshly, crossing her arms. “And that’s Shelli Adler? Jesus, her pictures online don’t even come close to the reality of her. Did you see her rack?”
She shakes her head, and I scrunch up my face. “Are you serious right now?”
“Just let it go.”
“No, you brought it up.”
She goes to walk away, but I grab her by the wrist. “Whoa, killer, slow down. Talk to me.”
“No,” she says, pulling her wrist out of my hand. “I look like shit, and even the drunk girl was gorgeous. And then you tell me women do that to you all the time? How do you think that makes me feel?”
I wish Carter could talk. Surely he’d be on my side. “It should make you feel like a fucking goddess because I only want you.” She won’t look at me. “No one even comes close to you, Aviva. No one.”
“Shelli’s breasts are stunning, and to know you’ve had them in your mouth, hands, and then I have nothing there, it fucks with me.”
This chick is insane. I grab her by her wrist and start for my house. I walk over to Amelia first, handing off her baby.
“You leaving?” she asks, and I nod.
“Yup. Gotta go talk sense into this woman of mine.”
Before she or even Aviva can say anything to stop me, I’m already pulling Aviva down the beach. She tries to ask me what we’re doing, but I don’t have time for that. When I say something, she will listen and she will understand. We don’t have to go far before we’re at my house.
We enter through the back door, and as soon as we step inside, she asks, “What are we doing? It was rude to leave like that.”
“I don’t give a shit. They’re happy I stayed as long as I did,” I say, still pulling her through my house. I take her into my bathroom and turn her to the mirror. She looks back at me, confused, but I don’t care. “You see this face,” I say, pointing at her. “It’s the first thing I think of when I wake up. To me, you’re the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen.” Slowly, her scrunched-up face loosens as I grab ahold of her ass. “This ass. Baby, for real, I dream of this ass. It’s probably the best ass I’ve ever seen. Then this back? It gives me all these funny fantasies of subs because I know you don’t go to the gym, so it has to be from slinging subs.”
She sputters with laughter, and I untie the back of her dress. It’s another halter top that I know she is comfortable in, but I wish she’d wear a tube top or even a low-cut something. I don’t care. I want her to feel sexy. I pull down her dress, revealing her bare chest with two large scars. I move behind her and place my hands on her chest. “This body keeps me in knots, and to me, you look ten times hotter than Shelli does, even with her tits hanging out. I’d rather see this, the marks of your courageous fight, than anything Shelli—or any woman, for that matter—can offer me. I d
on’t want it. I don’t want them.”
A tear rolls down her cheek. “But—”
“But nothing. Not only am I in love with the outside of this body, I’m in love with your soul, Aviva.”
Her breath catches as her eyes meet mine. “You love me?”
“Oh hell, Aviva. You know I do. How could I not? Look at what I see. I treasure you. I get to love this gorgeous, hot, and wicked smart woman. How can you not see that?” She tries to turn in my arms, but I won’t let her. “Look at yourself.” She’s reluctant, but she does. Problem is, I can’t make her see the truth of what I feel when I look at her. That overwhelming love.
“Aviva, do you not love yourself?”
She shrugs. “I do. I just don’t like the way I look.”
I shake my head. “That’s unacceptable. You are perfect.”
“Nico, my chest—”
“Is perfection,” I say, staring at her. “What can change that for you? Do you want breasts?”
Her lips quiver as she nods. “I do.”
“Then get them when Callie does. I’ll take care of both of you, or I’ll have my mom come in.”
“Nico, the shop—”
“Can close for a fucking week, because I can’t keep doing this!” I yell, making her jump. “You can’t love me if you don’t love yourself, and that pisses me the fuck off.”
She blinks, tears rolling down her face. “But I do love you.”
My heart stops. I wanted to hear those words and I want to believe them, but how can she when she can’t even love herself? “You can’t fully love me until you love yourself. I can’t keep having this conversation with you. I can’t keep defending my love for you. I love you with my whole heart, and I know you’d never hurt me because I know I’m fucking awesome, and who could you replace me with? No one.” I point to the mirror, where tears are falling quicker down her beautiful face. “Now, love this woman before us and know I would never hurt her or try to replace her. How can I? I can’t replace perfection.”
With that, I walk out of the bathroom with tears burning my eyes because I don’t know if she is capable of loving herself.
And that scares me to the core.
