Hugo and the Bird

by Jeff Mills

“Talking of proof,” she suddenly blurted out, “can I borrow your phone as mine is wrecked?” Allan coughed, sending crumbs of pizza across the table at her.

  “Not likely!” came the reply. “You get through phones faster than I have hot dinners and besides my sim has all my personal numbers on it, and I need it for work.”

  Sue had to agree with Allan, for in the last year she had gone through four phones, losing two, sitting on one, breaking the screen and now soaking the fourth. She decided that it was pointless trying to persuade him any further. It was 1.30 am when Allan finally deposited her back outside her flat.

  * * *

  She was at the phone shop before it had opened the next day. Although she knew that it would exceed her overdraft limit, she bought a top of the range iPhone X with a 12-megapixel camera built in and, according to the advertisement, was supposed to be waterproof, at least to one metre. She also decided that she would get a protective cover just in case. Packing away these precious items, she returned to her Fiat Panda only to find a parking ticket on the windscreen. She screamed out loud, making the passing pedestrians look at her but she ignored their stares. She tore the black and yellow ticket off her windscreen, stuffed it into her anorak pocket, and drove off in the direction of the Gnome Reserve, giving the traffic warden, who she saw down the street, a two fingered sign which, fortunately, the warden did not see.

  By ten o’clock Sue was hidden behind a large tree in the grounds, next to the reception, eager to see and record anything that might occur that would confirm her story and bring her the fame she craved.

  Chapter 18

  Rescue

  Bird materialised outside the cave entrance below Hugo’s house. It was about 9.30 pm and almost dark. Strands of orange could still be seen in the sky to the west. Summer was disappearing fast and the days getting shorter. A slight movement inside the entrance caught Bird’s attention and, squinting, he could just make out the small figure of Barguff, or at least someone he hoped was Barguff. Quietly approaching the figure, which was dressed in black, he tapped it on the shoulder. Barguff spun round half in fear and half in surprise.

  “What the!” the small gnome exclaimed raising his fists threateningly. “Oh it’s you!” he sighed as he saw the relatively tall shape of Bird standing behind him. Bird curled his wing so that the tip covered his beak, indicating to Barguff to be silent. He looked the little figure up and down admiring his camouflage. The gnome had changed his bright-coloured coat and hat and replaced them with dull green attire.

  “What’s the plan?” whispered Barguff.

  Bird raised his wing and pulled out the amulet from its hiding place.

  “What in the great spirits of creation is that?” Barguff exclaimed, eyeing the small object still wrapped in tissue. Slowly, being careful to hold the object by the feathers of his wing tips, Bird unwrapped the glistening object.

  Barguff’s eyes lit up as the gold twinkled and shimmered in the last rays of the evening sunlight. Bird quietly explained that this was going to be the solution to their problem but it was complicated and he would explain later. He motioned Barguff to follow him and started to enter the tunnel. Stopping short, he bent down and picked up a long piece of string, washed up by a previous tide, that had become wrapped around a jagged spur of rock. Carefully, he threaded the cord through the small aperture at the top of the amulet and tied it around his neck so that it rested on his breast feathers and was nowhere near any exposed skin. With a contented sigh, he tilted his head towards Barguff and they began to inch their way along the passage towards their goal and danger. Through his feathers, Bird could feel the warmth of the amulet and hoped that his assumptions about it were correct.

  Feeling along the sides of the walls, the pair carefully made their way forward. Bird had deliberately not brought any lights, as this would show them up and eliminate the element of surprise. Progress was slow, and on several occasions he felt Barguff walk into him, or heard him curse quietly as he stubbed his elbow or head against the rough walls. After minutes, but what seemed like hours, Bird saw a small glimmer of light up ahead. He stopped and bent down to Barguff’s level and whispered, in what he hoped was his ear, that he was going to become invisible and for Barguff to hold onto his tail feathers so that they did not become separated in the gloom.

  The light entering the tunnel slowly increased as they approached the cave until finally they stood at the entrance. A goblin suddenly rushed past Bird’s scaly legs on its way out of the cave, and down the tunnel from whence they had just travelled, almost colliding with him. Bird was glad that he had become invisible when he did, or the game would certainly be up had he not. Barguff instinctively ducked behind Bird, using his invisibility to mask his own presence. Bird looked down at the gnome and noticed a white streak in the black make-up that he had used to make his face less visible. The end of the streak showed a small ball of sweat that glistened in the light entering the tunnel from the cave.

  “Where do you think the gnomes are imprisoned?” Bird whispered to Barguff. The little man beckoned with his finger. Still using Bird’s invisibility to mask his presence, he inched his way around the wall of the cave. In the bright light, which was coming from a myriad of lanterns and candles hung around the walls, plus the flickering beams that radiated from the roaring fire under the immense black cauldron, the pair could see, what appeared to be, hundreds of small grey figures running and jumping hither and thither. They were engrossed in picking up and carrying a varied assortment of tubes and bottles. Bird carefully surveyed the room, trying to remember every nook and cranny where he, and any gnomes he might rescue, could hide or defend themselves. The bright glare from the fire under the cauldron prevented him seeing past its flames and what lay beyond. He could only guess and hope that it would be similar to what was already visible.

  Suddenly, Bird felt a tug on his leg and, looking down, he saw Barguff pointing to a dozen large wooden crates at the farthest end of the cave. At the same time, a large shadow passed over them and the figure of Morgana came into view holding a kicking and screaming young female gnome by the ankle, so that her now very dingy red-spotted dress fell over her head, blocking out any way she could be identified, at least by Bird that is. He felt Barguff try to surge forward in an effort to rescue the defenceless creature but Bird shot his wing down to stop Barguff showing himself, exposing them both to the surrounding throng of the grey enemy.

  “But that’s Orleg; I recognise those pantaloons anywhere,” came a pitiful whisper from below Bird’s knee. Bird had to wonder how Barguff knew what kind of pantaloons Orleg wore but, though allowing himself a brief smile, quickly dismissed the thought and concentrated on the crates from where the witch had taken the wriggling female gnome.

  Morgana threw the poor creature onto her bench, pulling the terrified gnome-girl’s dress down from over her head. The uncovering of the girl’s face allowed her to look straight into the eyes of the witch who was standing over her and holding her down with one hand while she flicked through the pages of a thick, very old, leather-bound book. The corners were curled and brown from repeated use and turning and many of the pages stained.

  Orleg screamed as loudly as she could as the witch glanced down at her and then back at the book. She slapped the hysterical gnome with the back of her free hand and hissed at her that ‘if she didn’t keep quiet then she would feed her to Snatch’.

  At the mention of its name, the animal roused itself from its place under the table and gave a quiet whimper. Bird thought that he was glad that Morgana had made Snatch expose his position, as he had quite forgotten about it and the trouble the animal might have caused.

  Taking a dirty spoon from a jar on her bench, the witch measured out a dose of a fuming liquid that was in a round, earthenware bottle next to the book. Holding the trembling Orleg, she forced her mouth open and drop by drop emptied the spoon’s contents into the creature’s mouth. The small gnome cou
ghed and spluttered as the fuming liquid trickled down her throat. Slowly her struggles became weaker and the crying and whimpering became quieter until, with a final wrenching cough, she became totally still.

  Barguff was watching the whole of the episode and it was as much as Bird could do to stop him rushing forward to try to rescue the poor damsel. Tears rolled down his face in anger and frustration until he slumped onto the floor, his body heaving with uncontrollable silent sobs. Bird had to kick him to break his grief. The tearful gnome looked up at, what would have been Bird, if he could see him, pulled his sleeve across his nose, leaving a silver trail, rose to his full height and whispered,

  “Promise me, that if we get the chance, you’ll let me kill that wicked hag.”

  Giving a further check left and right, the two carried on their slow progress around the walls to where the crates lay piled on top of each other.

  As they came closer, Bird had an idea and, much to Barguff’s concern, started backtracking. The little gnome was about to ask what in the world his invisible friend was doing when, one by one, either side them, he saw the lamps and candles dimming and being extinguished. He suddenly realised what Bird was up to and he also started to blow out every light that was within his reach, which, it must be said, were very few. By the time the pair reached the crates the whole area was in almost complete darkness.

  “Good thinking,” whispered Barguff to where he thought Bird was standing.

  As they began to move and open the wooden boxes, it was difficult to stop the imprisoned gnomes from shouting out in glee at the prospect of escape and on one occasion, after an excited squeal from a little girl gnome who happened to be Barguff’s sister, Daffodil, one of the goblins scurrying around came to investigate. With very quick thinking, Barguff tore off his hat and threw it over the surprised individual. Before it could give a warning, the bald gnome fell on top of the trapped creature and whispered, in as threatening tone as he could, that if it made a sound then he would sit on him and crush him. Since the fat gnome was at least twice the size and weight of the entrapped goblin, both Bird and the victim knew that this was no idle threat. Their prisoner was rapidly tied up and gagged tightly and thrown unceremoniously into the corner of the alcove.

  Under the cover of the darkness, all but two of the crates were opened and the freed gnomes huddled behind the empty containers. Suddenly a gentle buzzing was heard and three goblins appeared, carrying a rope between them, which had been intended to tie up one of the prisoners to take to Morgana. On seeing Barguff, who had moved out of cover of Bird’s protective wing of invisibility, and the empty boxes, in unison they dropped the rope and screamed and shouted a warning to the others.

  Barguff and some of the freed gnomes tried to grab them but it was too late and, within seconds, dozens of the grey screaming horde surrounded them. From behind them came a loud screeching that made both gnomes and their would-be captors grimace and cover their ears. With a flash of shimmering blue light, Bird materialised between the cowering gnomes and the advancing rabble. The sudden appearance of this large, highly unusual animal that was making such a terrifying sound made the pursuers stop in their advance and back away. Using this momentary lull in the attack, Bird shouted to the gnomes “Run! Run! Run!” and waved his wing, pointing across the cave to the tunnel entrance and potential freedom.

  With Barguff in the lead, there was a mad rush of gnomes out of the gloom and into the brightness of the cave. The remaining goblins stopped what they were doing, some dropping the jars and pots they were carrying, so that, as well as their warning screeching, there was the sound of breaking glass. Weird coloured smoke and fumes started to fill the air from the spilt contents.

  Although the initial shock had given the gnomes the element of surprise and allowed many of them to run to and down the tunnel, it did not take long before the attackers regained their composure and gave chase. Bird managed to get to the entrance of the tunnel before his pursuers and turned to face the approaching hoard. It was now that he hoped, for all that he was worth, that he had been right in his assumptions for, holding his one wing outstretched to block the entrance of the tunnel, he ripped off the amulet from around his neck with the other and held the glittering object up in front of him. The leading goblins laughed out loud at such a pathetic gesture and headed straight for it. Bird was determined to attack these weird creatures, even if he could not recapture all the gnomes.

  Tooker, the leading goblin and chief of his particular clan, was the first to come into contact with the glowing golden weapon, which, as it seemed to Bird, shone even more, with bright rays shooting from its centre.

  The entirety of the cave was suddenly filled with such an agonising scream that the whole of the approaching attacking stream halted instantly. From behind Bird’s wing there could be seen the figure of Tooker, still screaming in agony, yet with diminishing volume and spinning around in ever-decreasing circles, until he hit the floor with a slight bump, raising a small cloud of dust. Not realising what was going on, several of the other goblins made to try and attack Bird but as they went to grab the medallion they also let out horrifying screams, ending up on the floor next to their fallen leader.

  Silence ensued except for a slight murmuring from the hovering throng. Bird started to relax, having seen and confirmed the effect of the amulet. Holding it out in front of himself, using it as a shield, he edged back to the wooden boxes and awkwardly released the remaining five gnomes still trapped within them. Some of these gnomes were initially as frightened of Bird as the goblins had been and cowered in the crevices of the darkened part of the cave they were in but a few consolatory words from Bird quickly put them at ease. Each gripping the feathers of his tail, they moved slowly sideways and back towards the tunnel entrance. All of them were concentrating on keeping the goblins at bay as they edged toward the tunnel.

  Suddenly the whole of the cavern resonated to a sound that could literally be said to be ear-splitting. Morgana stood wide-eyed and absolutely fuming at the entrance to the tunnel barring their escape. “Kill them!” she screamed at the goblins and pointed her bony figure at the potential escapees but not one of her horde moved towards the group; in fact, several of them actually backed away. Whether this was a result of the amulet Bird was carrying or from the wrath of the witch could not be determined. At this sound, Bird spun around to face her. pointing the sparkling jewel at her.

  The witch, blue in the face with anger, suddenly stepped back and her face became so ashen white in such a short time that many of the goblins thought that she was dying. Several seconds went by as she put her hand to her mouth and audibly gasped.

  “Where did you get… THAT?” she finally spat out when she had regained some of her composure. “Give it to me! GIVE IT TO ME!” she shouted so loudly that dust started to fall from the ceiling. “NOW!”

  Bird was surprised at her reaction and a little taken aback but he quickly recovered and thrust the pendant further forwards, making her back away. By slowly edging around the wall, keeping the amulet firmly between the fuming witch and himself, he and the five gnomes, who were still holding onto his tail feathers so tightly that he thought that they were about to be pulled out, were able to regain access to the entrance of the tunnel.

  “Run for it!” he shrieked to them as soon as they could squeeze inside. Without hesitation, they ran as fast as they could down the length of the tunnel. Bird heard, on several occasions, small screams and curses from many of them as they bumped into the walls or tripped over the stones left on the rough floor. Eventually everybody went silent, except for the slight murmuring of the goblins as they eyed Bird, still guarding the entrance to the tunnel.

  “Give me that amulet!” demanded the witch, trying to edge closer to Bird to get within snatching distance but as she came forward Bird backed away, slowly easing his way further and further down the tunnel. “If you don’t give me that jewel NOW, I’ll kill you and your stupid l
ittle friends.”

  “You were going to kill us anyway,” laughed Bird and thrust the pendant closer to Morgana who backed away instinctively.

  “It’s mine,” she insisted. “Mine, do you hear? It’s my inheritance. I’ve been searching for it for centuries. Give it to me.” Then, with almost a whimper she said, “Please.”

  Bird noticed that she even appeared to have a tear in her eye as she said it, though when he thought back, it could have been a tear of anger or frustration.

  He began to feel the sea breeze on his back as he approached the exit of the tunnel. She was still in front of him, bearing down at every opportunity and the goblins brought up the rear but a long way back, fearing the retribution of Morgana should these last few captives escape. Finally, they were outside in the fresh air. It was dark, though the first rays of dawn were peeping over the horizon in the east. Bird stole a quick glance behind him and saw Barguff with the assembled gnomes crouching behind rocks and in gullies, trying to hide.

  As Morgana also emerged from the tunnel, a great gasp went up and everyone, except Barguff, who had moved to stand next to Bird, slid down further into their hiding places.

  “What do we do now?” pleaded Barguff who, though in the open, knew that they were still outnumbered by their enemy. The goblins had also realised this and were rapidly regaining some of their confidence and bravado and were beginning to spread out in an effort to surround the terrified gnomes.

  “Don’t worry,” Bird chirruped, and thrust his left wing under his right. When he withdrew it, he was gripping the top of the bag of the loaf of bread that Hugo had ‘borrowed’ for him out of his parents’ freezer. Bird gave a little shudder and felt the relief that getting that frozen package from under his wing had been. The loaf had become thoroughly defrosted and a crust fell on the floor as Bird broke the seal on the top of the bag.

  Barguff and many of the gnomes looked confused, as did Morgana and the goblins that had ventured close to her. After a second or two, she started to laugh, accompanied by her entourage, who were now milling around her.