Monkey Come Home

by Bernard Gallate

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  ‘It’s gobbledegook,’ Dad said.

  ‘Not if you unscramble it, which I did after the news last night. It says “panuniversal-exploration-corporation". That’s who sent the rocket into space.’

  Dad still didn’t seem convinced. Earl approached him and bowed his head. ‘I think he wants you to feel his skull,’ Serenity said.

  ‘Whatever you say, Doctor Doolittle.’ Dad reached down and gently patted Earl’s head. ‘Ooh. His little noggin sure is bumpy.’

  Mum had a longer, more exploratory feel. She crinkled her brow and took a deep breath then said, ‘Barry, I think those bumps are electrodes.’

  Bits

  “Is Earl bionic?’ Serenity asked Dad. ‘Like half-man, half-machine?’

  ‘I don’t think so.’

  ‘What are the electrodes for?’

  ‘If that’s what they are, they might have been used to measure his brain activity while he was carrying out different procedures. Or they could be tracking devices.’

  ‘So, now you believe me that Earl was in space? I asked.

  ‘I’m not sure, Avery. But it’s possible.’

  Mum picked up Earl and nursed him in her arms like a baby. ‘Whatever are we going to do with you, little space monkey?’

  ‘We’ll have to notify the authorities,’ Dad said. ‘We can’t hide him here. We could be in all sorts of trouble if they come looking for him.’

  ‘But what will happen to Earl if we hand him over?’ I asked.

  ‘Assuming that he was lost up there for thirty Earth years, which might have been mere days or weeks in space, they would want to figure out how he survived. He would probably be dissected in a lab and…’

  ‘Barry!’ Mum cut him off. ‘Don’t upset the children.’

  ‘Keep going, Dad. I can handle it.’

  ‘They would carry out all sorts of tests on his tissues and organs, and then analyse the results.’

  ‘That is so barbaric,’ Serenity said.

  ‘Not really,’ Dad answered. ‘Their discoveries would advance science and possibly be of great benefit to the future of mankind.’

  ‘Pfff! Thank you Senator Bloom.’ Mum gave him a fairy clap. Dad responded with a curtsy.

  ‘And then what?’ I said.

  ‘There is no then what.’

  ‘But what would happen to all of his bits?’

  ‘He would probably be stuffed and put on display in a space museum for posterity.’

  ‘Ee Ee!’ Earl said, and raced out of the room

  ‘That was sensitive, Barry. Now you’ve traumatised the monkey as well as the children.’

  ‘Oh come on, April. Do you really think he can understand us?

  ‘Yes,’ Mum said. ‘As a matter of fact, I do.’

  ‘What does posterity mean?’ I asked.

  ‘Future generations,’ Dad said. ‘So one day you could take your grandchildren to the space museum to visit Earl and tell them your story.’

  Earl returned. He had brought back a small photo magnet from my room, which he handed to Mum. ‘There we go!’ she said. ‘I knew he could understand exactly what you were saying.’ She passed it to Dad.

  Dad looked it over and shrugged. ‘It’s just a picture of Avery with the toy Earl on his shoulders.’

  ‘Yes, Barry. But don’t you get it? The monkey is stuffed.’

  Beach

  Dad walked to the old fisherman’s hut that Sam called home to seek his advice. Like Sam, he was worried that One Pebble Bay would become another over-developed coastal resort if the world found out about Earl. But he had his own reason, which none of us knew about, for wanting to protect the monkey.

  Mum thought our time with Earl might be short and that we should make the most of it. We couldn’t risk anybody seeing him, so she drove us to Old Jetty Beach. Not many people visit Old Jetty because it, only accessible by water or a long, steep, overgrown track.

  Earl loved being outside after having been cooped up in my room for the last couple of days, and in the nose cone for who knows how long before that. He kept darting off the track and returning with his discoveries of rocks, sticks and leaves.

  Serenity and I ran for the water as soon as our feet hit the sand but Earl needed some coaxing. Perhaps he had bad memories of swimming from the nose cone to the shore. Once he was in the water, though, he proved to be as good a swimmer as Sam had said he would be. His wet fur stuck to his body and he looked like a slinky little weasel.

  Mum had brought some cheese sandwiches for us and some fruit for Earl, but the cheese was spread with Elsie’s homemade chutney, which I can’t stand. I was complaining about Mum doing it on purpose when Earl swiped my sandwich from me and licked off the chutney. Then he gave it back to me. Mum and Serenity almost wet their pants they were laughing so much. So I defiantly ate the chutney-free sandwich and they stopped laughing. Serenity said it was possibly the most revolting thing she had ever seen me do, especially because Earl had been licking his bottom five minutes earlier.

  After lunch we played a game of beach-ball soccer, using sticks in the sand for goal posts. It was boys against girls but Earl didn’t understand the concept of the game or the rules. He kept trying to bite the ball whenever it came near him. Eventually he succeeded and the ball deflated. The sun was going down as well and the first chill of autumn was in the air. Mum announced that it was time to go home. I felt like I had swallowed a stone.

  Nobody spoke on the trip back. Even Earl sat still on the back seat with me and didn’t make a sound or bother to look out the window. Dad had returned from Sam’s place by the time we arrived home. ‘How was the beach?’ He asked, but he didn’t seem like he was interested in an answer. I knew that he was about to hit us with some bad news.

  ‘I got a phone call this afternoon from a guy called Chase Craven. He said he was from PUXCorp, the organisation that was on the news last night. He’s coming around tomorrow. It seems they already know that the nose cone splashed down here. And they want to ask us a few questions.

  Bother

  The sky was clear and blue on Monday morning, but if life was a cartoon, there would have been one little grey cloud hanging over number fifteen Bell Street. Dad had no idea how much Chase Craven already knew, so he couldn’t make any promises to us about Earl. And he wouldn’t let me skip school, even after I pleaded and argued that it would probably be Earl’s last day with us. I put on a brave face when I said goodbye to Earl. But I’m sure he knew something was wrong.

  School was an endurance test. I wasn’t allowed to talk about Earl but he was all I could think of. It didn’t help that the return of the nose cone was the hot topic in the playground. Some of my friends even bragged about seeing it on Thursday night, despite the fact that none of them would have been up that late. By lunchtime, everyone was trying to outdo each other with stories about UFOs and extraterrestrials. I badly wanted to blow all their stories away with the amazing truth.

  Our teacher, Miss Perry, organised a class debate in the afternoon. ‘We should only explore other planets once we have stopped destroying our own,’ was the proposal. I had to sit on my hands and bite my tongue for the whole session. Miss Perry asked me why I wasn’t joining in, so I said I was experiencing gastrointestinal disturbances, which I thought sounded better than a tummy ache. She gave me a ten-minute early mark.

  I ran home faster than ever before, hoping like crazy that Earl would be there. But when I got to our front gate, ten tonnes of doubt fell on me. I stopped to pat Bagpipes, who was lolling on his back in the sun, and prepared myself for the worst.

  ‘Home early again, Avery Bloom?’ Elsie Birkett called from her porch. ‘I certainly hope you’re not playing hooky.’

  ‘No, I’ve chosen rugby this season.’

  ‘Well your parents are home, anyway. A man in a very smart suit called on them today. It seems that your father might be in a spot of bother with the law. I certainly hope that it doesn’t run in the fam
ily.’

  ‘Pull your…’ I didn’t manage to finish my sentence because Serenity came up behind me and covered my mouth.

  ‘Be nice,’ Serenity whispered in my ear. ‘She’s only interested in other people’s lives because she has no family left of her own.’ Sometimes my sister surprised me. We walked into the house to find Mum and Dad drinking tea in the kitchen. But there was no Earl.

  ‘Where is he?’ I asked.

  ‘Avery, we did what we had to do and…’

  ‘He’s not here, is he?’

  ‘No, he’s not here,’ Dad said.

  ‘So what happened?’ Serenity asked.

  ‘That guy, Craven, from PUXCorp, said he was searching for any information that could assist his team in locating the cone, or any part of it. I asked him why we were of particular interest to him and he said he’d received anonymous information about us.’

  ‘Elsie,’ I muttered.

  ‘I told him I knew absolutely nothing about the rocket until I saw it on the news. He was a big guy and he came up so close to me that he was almost standing on my toes. He said that if I concealed any information or artefacts, or refused to cooperate, I could face prosecution. He was very threatening.’

  ‘So you told him everything,’ I blurted.

  ‘No.’

  ‘Yes you did! You told them all about Earl and betrayed us and you’re a dirty double-crossing rat!’

  ‘No Avery. Let your father speak.’ Mum tried to calm me down, but it was too late.

  ‘AAAARGH!’ I screamed and ran headfirst into the sofa and punched the cushions till my fists stung.

  Baffled

  Mum waited for me to settle down before she continued.

  ‘I took Earl to the surgery this morning and had his skull X-rayed. It confirmed that those bumps are electrodes. So your father and I decided that the best thing was to take him to where he belongs.’

  ‘But he doesn’t belong in a lab,’ Serenity said.

  ‘Or stuffed in a museum,’ I added.

  ‘I know,’ Mum said. ‘That’s why before Craven arrived I took him to Sam’s place.’

  I pulled my head out from between the cushions. ‘Seriously?’

  ‘Yes, seriously,’ Dad said.

  ‘I want to see him.’

  ‘You will. But we have to let things cool down a bit first. Craven asked me a lot of questions and I told him as many lies. I think I put him off the scent for a while but I have no doubt he’ll be in One Pebble Bay for a bit longer.’

  ‘You lied to save Earl. What made you do it?’

  ‘The fridge magnet,’ Dad said. ‘It triggered my memory of the morning of your fourth birthday. You loved that toy monkey from the moment you tore off the wrapping. You asked me what his name was, so I said the first thing that came to my mind — Earl.’

  ‘It’s a weird name for a monkey,’ Serenity said. ‘Why not Sparky or Coco?’

  ‘Strangely enough, Earl was the name of a real monkey that I met a long time ago.’

  ‘What?’ I said, completely baffled.

  ‘I think all of you should get comfortable,’ Dad said. ‘I’ve got a story to tell you.’

  Big Top

  ‘More than thirty years ago, my father, your Pop, took me to a travelling circus. I would have been about the same age that you are now, Avery. Back in those days, they had lions and tigers and elephants, as well as the human performers. There was a family of trapeze artists called the Flying Spandellos. The youngest daughter, who was a really good sort, could spin on the end of a rope, holding onto it only with her teeth. I think that’s why I became a dentist.’

  ‘Stick to the point,’ Mum said.

  ‘There was a strongman who could lift up the clown car with all of the clowns in it and a human cannonball who was shot clear out of the tent. The ringmaster threw knives and cracked whips. He also performed a few warm-up tricks with balloons and then asked for volunteers from the audience. Well, your Pop put his hand up for me and I got chosen.’

  ‘Barry, you’re going off on a tangent again,’ Mum said.

  ‘Okay. I’ll tell you about that later, kids. Despite all of the magnificent spectacles that took place under the big top, my favourite part of the circus was the sideshow afterwards. There was a conjuror called Fingers Filipinski who could pull silver coins out of his nostrils and swallow live goldfish. His tricks defied explanation because he did it all up close in front of us.’

  ‘Please get on with it, Dad,’ Serenity said.

  ‘Okay. Be patient, we’re almost there. For his grand finale he made all the mens’ watches and all the ladies’ jewellery disappear. Then he pretended that the show was over and started packing up. Some sucker in the crowd started yelling abuse at him and a couple of others joined in. Right on cue, Fingers’ sidekick, a monkey called Earl, appeared wearing the missing jewellery and watches. Of course everybody laughed. Some people laughed at the hothead who had lost his temper, some laughed with relief and some at the sight of the cute little monkey adorned with gold. The funniest thing was that the monkey had pilfered everything in the first place, stealthily moving through the crowd while Fingers had kept them distracted with his tricks. He was probably the smartest monkey on the planet.’

  ‘That’s just like our Earl!’ I said.

  ‘Exactly. So get this. Pop took me back to the circus the next year and Fingers Filipinski was still there, but he had gone solo. There was no monkey. The show had lost its magic and charm without Earl. Fingers looked washed up. After the show, Pop asked him where the monkey was, but he just shook his head sadly. I did a little research on the Internet last night and discovered that it was one year before the Pan Universal Exploration Corporation blasted their seventh rocket into space — the rocket Earl was on.’

  ‘It’s the same Earl!’ Serenity said.

  ‘Bingo!’ Dad answered. ‘Give the little lady a prize.’

  Boxing

  Dad figured that someone from PUXCorp had stolen Earl from Fingers Filipinski, all those years ago, and that Fingers had never found out what had happened to him. The public never knew there was a monkey in the rocket because it had been kept top secret.

  I discovered that lots of different creatures from different countries had been sent into space over the years. There were flies, spiders, worms, snails, frogs, newts, fish, tortoises, mice, rats, cats, dogs and other monkeys and chimps. A lot of them had names. But there was no mention of Earl.

  Three weeks crept by before Chase Craven left One Pebble Bay and it was safe to see Earl again. I spent my quiet moments daydreaming about the intense astronaut training schedule Earl must have been put through and the mad things he would’ve seen on his incredible journey. Every night I played Outer Extremity alone in my room until Mum came and told me to go to bed. Despite the huge number of hours I racked up on the game, I only reached level nine. Reaching level twenty-seven was probably one of the easiest things Earl had ever done.

  Even though he was a genius and had a good memory, I was still worried that Earl might have forgotten me.

  ‘Don’t be silly,’ Mum said on the drive to Sam Hurley’s place. ‘You saved his life from Bagpipes, remember?’

  ‘Not really,’ I said. ‘Earl could’ve thrashed Bagpipes in a fight.’

  ‘Either way it would have been unpleasant to clean up,’ Dad said. ‘And Elsie would have been inconsolable if she lost Bagpipes.’

  ‘I still think she’s a secret agent for PUXCorp,’ I said.

  ‘Without a doubt,’ Dad humoured me. ‘And that toilet dolly in our bathroom is actually a high-tech listening device.’ Mum and Serenity thought that was hilarious, even though it was just as likely as all of the other crazy things that had been happening.

  When Sam heard us approaching he came out to meet us, with Earl sitting on his back. I instantly felt jealous. Earl had been with me for only three days but he had been with Sam for three weeks. They looked like old friends.

  ‘Does Earl belong to you now?’ I bl
urted out, straightaway.

  ‘Of course not, Avery,’ Sam said. ‘Nobody owns Earl. He’s very much his own monkey.’

  ‘Apologise to Sam,’ Mum said. ‘He’s been very kind to look after Earl.’

  ‘Sorry,’ I said looking down at the ground. My face was burning.

  ‘Aren’t you going to say hello to your mate now?’ Sam asked.

  ‘Hi,’ I said, without looking at Earl. ‘I missed you.’

  ‘Ee Ee Ee!’ Earl said. He jumped onto me and gave my ears a good boxing.

  ‘See, he still loves you,’ Dad said.

  ‘What about me?’ Serenity pouted.

  Earl climbed onto her and kissed her right on the mouth.

  ‘Eww, that was so vile,’ Serenity said, pushing Earl away and wiping her mouth.

  ‘At least he didn’t use tongue,’ I said.

  ‘He did!’ Serenity cried.

  Everybody laughed, but I was the only one who caught Earl’s sly wink.

  About the author/illustrator

  The idea for Monkey Come Home came from a bunch of funny and true encounters my friends and I have had with monkeys over the years. My favourite story belongs to Wendy who went to the monkey show at Koh Samui, Thailand with her friend Philipa. After the show, the audience were allowed to touch the monkeys. Wendy became nervous when one of the monkeys started squeezing her finger a bit too tightly, but she managed to slip free. The monkey jumped onto Philipa’s head and proceeded to pull her hair out and then bit her finger till it bled.

  Bernard watched way too much television when he was growing up, so it’s not surprising that his first proper job was making cartoons. Later he studied acting but couldn’t even get a part in a pizza commerical so he went back to animating for a multimedia company. He has a crazy notion that work can be fun and has been a ride operator at Luna Park, a guide on top of Sydney Tower and a climb leader on the Sydney Harbour Bridge.