I groan when the doorbell rings, causing all chaos to break loose all over again. I’m going to kill whoever is at that door for stealing my hard-won peace. I drag my tired body up the hallway of the small apartment I now live in.
“Maybe that’s that selfish heifer,” I mutter.
Though I doubt it. I’ve never seen someone run so fast—not even a glance back. I huff out a breath to release my frustration. Thinking about the past, no matter how fresh it is, isn’t going to help me.
When I open the door I freeze. I should have known he would find me. I know I look a hot mess, but that’s the least of my worries.
Yet, as I stand here staring up into those golden eyes, I’m at a loss. He looks so good. That beanie strategically placed on his head, covering his thick locks. The front of his hair peeking out in an artful tousle that covers just a bit of his forehead. A black leather jacket on that lean swimmer’s body, over a grey t-shirt. A pair of blue jeans clinging to his long legs and black boots on his feet that tell me there’s a chance he rode a bike here.
It’s not fair that he always looks so good. I mean seriously. He must roll out of bed in the morning singing and dancing like he’s the star in a movie.
Yes, “Grease” pops into my tired head. I need sleep my thoughts are a random mess. I don’t know whether to be relieved or panicked. I settle on being able to take a shower.
“Come in,” I whisper when I find my voice.
* * *
Felix
I found her. I’m still having trouble with what led me to her. However, the scene before me reveals that my source was way more than accurate. Kaye looks exhausted and the small bundle in her arms won’t stop screaming.
I step into the apartment and close the door behind me. I look around the place. It’s not the greatest, but it’s not horrible. I’m still trying to wrap my mind around all of this. I feel like I’m in an alternate universe. At any moment someone is going to tell me this is all a joke.
“Why wouldn’t you tell me?”
The words are out of my mouth before I can think better of it. Kaye looks too tired to think, least of all have a conversation about anything. She could probably use a good shower too from the looks of the stained up t-shirt she has on.
“It’s a long story. Not everything looks as it seems,” she says tiredly. “Right now, I need you to hold Dashawn while I take a shower and maybe a brief nap.”
With those words she places the tiny baby in my arms and turns for the back of the apartment. She just had a baby. My best friend’s baby. I should feel like a total perv for staring at her sexy brown legs and the swell of her ass beneath her t-shirt.
I should but I don’t. I can’t take my eyes away. The little dude lets me know he doesn’t appreciate it, as he gets louder, demanding my attention.
I tear my eyes from Kaye to look down at the little baby in my arms. He’s cute. Of course he would be with a gorgeous mother like Kaye. He has her nose and lips, with a head full of jet-black hair.
His little face is starting to turn red with his loud cries. I think, trying to remember how mom shut my younger brothers up when they would scream down the house. I actually remember something from dad, not mom.
I move over to the couch and start to shrug out of my leather. Sitting down with the little guy still wailing in my arms, I lay him down on the couch. Moving fast to make quick work of tearing off my t-shirt, before he can roll off the cushion or something.
It’s warm in here. I unwrap him from the little blanket he’s in and get him out of his tiny shirt thing. I fumble with the snaps for a second before pulling it free and getting it off of him.
I think I start to sweat from the fear of hurting him while trying to undress him. I’m as gentle as I can be, careful of his head. All while he shouts at me like I’m the world’s biggest idiot.
I have no idea how such a tiny human has reduced me to feeling completely incompetent. I decide to leave his little mittens on. I think they have a purpose. Scooping the crying baby back up, I lie him on my chest and lean back on the couch’s back rest. He quiets down a little. His cute little face still screwed up. I start to rub his small back to see if that helps.
This is working. You got this, Black.
He gives a little yawn, his lids close and the crying stops. His small back starts to rise and fall with his sleeping breaths. I’m pretty pleased with myself.
Round one, win goes to Felix.
I brush a finger across his little cheek. It’s so soft and he is so adorable. My eyes move to his little ear, it’s two toned, dark at the top. He’s not as dark as Kaye, but not as light as Alberto.
Dashawn.
He smells really good. I touch his tiny covered hand that is resting on my bare chest. It flexes a little within the mitten under my light caress.
I touch a lock of his hair. It’s silky to the touch. I can’t help scanning his face to find traits of Alberto. A jealous ping hits me in the chest. I think Kaye and I would make beautiful babies.
I close my eyes as that thought floats through my head. I shouldn’t be jealous of a dead friend, but I am. He left a great woman and a beautiful baby boy behind.
I think back to the last time I saw Kaye. She was pregnant then. She had to be. It hurts that she didn’t say anything at the time. I can’t believe I read into her words so poorly.
It goes to show how off my game I am when she’s around. Kaye turns my thoughts into mush. I’ve been trying to relive that day over and over to see how I got things so wrong.
I wonder if Danny found out about her being pregnant and freaked out. Maybe that was why she didn’t want me to come along. That could also be the reason he never answered my calls that day.
I’m still trying to gather the details in my head that will make this all make sense. I wish I could turn back time and be there for her while she went through her pregnancy. The little guy on my chest makes a sighing sound as if he agrees with me.
“Don’t worry. Uncle Felix is here for you now. I’ll make sure you and your mommy are always safe and okay,” I murmur to the sleeping baby.
His body snuggles down into mine, causing my lips to curl into a smile. I can do this. I can help Kaye. I guess now I know why Danny asked me to look after her.
* * *
Kaye
I feel human again. I never knew a shower could be such a blessing. I stumble out of my bedroom in shorts and a t-shirt feeling like I can take on the world. I still could use a nap, but it’s been too quiet out there.
I need to make sure Dashawn hasn’t eaten Felix and teethed on his bones. Oh God, he’s going to teethe someday. I groan internally. I don’t know if I’m built for this.
Oh, Sweet Baby Jesus.
I skid to a halt. My heart feels like it might burst from my chest. My panties are definitely useless. I rethink being built for motherhood. My ovaries are pulsing as my eyes soak in the sight before me.
Felix is on my couch shirtless, the baby is out of his onesies covered in only his diaper and one of Felix’s palms. They are both fast asleep. I feel my face melt into a warm smile as I try not to coo out loud.
I feel the tears on my cheeks before I can ward them off. I haven’t had time to break down since Dashawn was born. I’ve wanted to, but I haven’t had the luxury. Lifting my t-shirt, I wipe the tears from my face.
When I drop my shirt, something catches my attention. I move closer to get a better look. I lick my lips when those abs and that tight v come into view. Felix has the words Brothers Black tattooed up his right side, running over his ribs.
My fingers itch to touch the ink. I wonder when he got it. The last time we surfed together it wasn’t there. I would know. I’ve studied that body enough to tell you the number of freckles he has on his back.
I look at his muscled arm lying limply beside his body and long to have it wrapped around me. I could use a hug so badly. I’m just on the verge of falling apart. I probably would have within the next few hours if he hadn’t show
n up.
I can’t help myself. I need human adult contact before I crumble. I climb quietly onto the couch and snuggle into his right side. He stirs a bit, but doesn’t wake. Placing my head on his shoulder, I close my eyes and silently cry myself to sleep.
Chapter 5
You Don’t Know
Felix
I feel something small resting on my chest and something much larger weighing down my side and shoulder. When I open my eyes it takes me a moment to remember where I am. My fingers flex protectively against the baby’s back.
When I look down, he’s chewing on his tiny mitten covered fist while staring up at me. I grin at the little guy. He’s awfully quiet but I’m not going to complain. I look to my right to see what the other weight is, only to find Kaye snuggled into my side.
All of her hair is brushed back away from her face into a ponytail. Her full lips are parted, a peaceful expression covers her features. She looks so beautiful in her sleep.
Her lips are only inches away, all I have to do is lean in and have a taste. I lightly brush my lips against her forehead instead. When I pull away my eyes drop to her lips again. I wonder if she’s every felt the charge I feel whenever she’s close to me or when I touch her.
A tiny whimper breaks me from my thoughts. I look back at Dashawn. His face is tightening up, ready to start wailing.
“Hold on, little guy,” I coo at him, rubbing my hand on his back.
I gently pry my body from underneath Kaye’s, trying not to wake her. I feel the loss of her warmth immediately. Dashawn starts to whine in my hold, causing me to get up and start away from Kaye. I want her to sleep as long as she likes.
“Hungry, little guy?” I ask the baby.
Looking at the clock, I’ve been here about three hours. I hadn’t fallen asleep for that long. I make my way into the kitchen to learn the lay of the land. I freeze as I see the empty bottles on the counter.
Oh shit, she could be breastfeeding. I’ll have to wake her if there’s no milk in the refrigerator. I open the door and almost sag in relief to found more bottles with milk. I take one out and look round.
I’ll need to heat this in that pot. Cool.
I move over to the pot of water sitting on the stove. I dump it and refill it, not sure why I take the extra step. This little guy is starting to squirm, he’ll be screaming soon if I don’t hurry up.
I’m running on autopilot as I get the bottle warmed. I don’t know where I come up with all this knowledge of caring for babies, but I have the bottle tested for temperature and the little guy sucking the bottle down before I know it.
Don’t leave him gassy.
Nodding at my own thoughts, I remove the half-finished bottle and start to pat his little back. Not getting any results, I try a little harder. He lets out a big belch that has me looking down at him in awe. I start to smell something foul.
“Aw, come on. I thought we were becoming friends,” I groan.
Sticking a finger in the back of the diaper that’s swallowing his little ass, I peek inside pulling a face immediately. This little dude has some real shit with him. I look back at the living room longing for Kaye to get up, but knowing I’m not going to wake her.
“Come on,” I huff.
I start out of the kitchen to find the bedroom and his diapers. I pass by one room. It’s dark with the door half open. I note that it’s another bedroom and there’s a bed inside. I go to the room with the open door and the lights on.
I look around and the place is a mess. Baby things everywhere. This is so unlike Kaye. She’s a neat freak. Her room has always been spotless. Danny used to pay her to clean his room so he wouldn’t be placed on punishment.
“Looks like I got here just in time,” I murmur to the baby. “Let’s clean your stinky little ass and then we’ll get to this room.”
* * *
Kaye
I wake to the aromas of bacon and something sweet. Uncurling from a ball on the couch, I stretch. I freeze the moment I realize Dashawn is not with me. Panic seizes me. I jump up from the couch to rush towards the kitchen where the smells are coming from.
I breathe out a relieved breath when I find Dashawn safe in his bouncer that’s sitting in the center of the kitchenette table. He’s fast asleep without a care in the world. Felix has his t-shirt back on, while standing at the stove flipping a piece of what looks like French toast. My stomach growls at the same time Felix turns towards me.
“Hey sleepyhead,” he croons, a hint of a sexy rasp in his voice.
I love it when his voice does that. It happens when you catch him coming out of deep thought. Just a whisper of roughness to his already deep voice. My nipples tighten just from the sound brushing against my ears.
“Hey,” I say, dipping my head and placing my arms across my chest.
“He’ll be up again soon. We should probably eat fast. I’m on this last bottle, not sure how to make more or if you’re pumping or planning to just breastfeed,” he says, his eyes dropping to my arms over my breasts.
“How would I do that?” I blurt out.
His brows mirror mine as they draw in. He walks me over to the table as he places a plate down. I inch past him in the small space to sit in the chair he has pulled out. He goes to cut off the burner and fix his own plate, before sitting across from me.
“They didn’t give you classes or something? They should have helped you get him to latch or whatever. We can get you one of those pumps. Maybe YouTube or google how they work,” he says once seated.
My own brows crease deeper. I tilt my head at him, searching his face. My head snaps back when understanding hits. My shoulders sag. He’s just like my father, making assumptions.
“How did you find me?” I ask.
His jaw tightens a bit. He places his fork down, sitting back in his seat to cross his arms over his chest. I know that look. He’s pissed.
“The question is…why the hell did I have to find you? What’s going on with you, Kaye? Why would you run off and not tell me what was going on with you?
“Why weren’t you there for the funeral? Why is there no name on the birth certificate for his father? I get being mad at Alberto for what he did, but the Perez family should be helping you—”
“Wait, how do you know there isn’t a father listed on the birth certificate? Oh, wow! That’s how you find me. Shoot,” I rub my temple.
“Seriously, that’s what you have to say to all of that,” he growls.
I lift my hands up to halt his anger. He has this all wrong. Maybe he didn’t jump to conclusions like my father. He assumed based on that document that led him to me.
I lick my dry lips and get ready to spill the truth to the only person I think I’ll ever be willing to tell. Felix is known for keeping other’s secrets. I’ve trusted him with my own. Now, I’ll trust him with my brother’s.
“It’s not what it looks like. Dashawn is not my son. Well, I didn’t give birth to him. We just made it look that way. His mother used my name and information to use my insurance. My dad is pissed at me, but he hasn’t cut my employee benefits from the church. Not yet anyway,” I explain.
Confusion takes over his face. I chew my lips nervously. If anyone were to find out what we’ve done, we could be in big trouble. Yet another reason I can’t go home and tell the truth. My father would have a coronary.
“Kaye,” Felix drags out on a groan, rubbing the back of his neck. “What the hell have you gotten yourself into? Hold on…he looks just like you.”
“Yeah, he would. He’s my brother’s son,” I reply.
Felix unfolds his arms and drags a hand down his face. I can see the stunned look in his eyes. All of this is nuts. I’m still trying to wrap my head around it and I’m the one living through it.
“Tell me what the heck I’m missing. You’re clearly in over your head. I have a feeling Danny wouldn’t want you to be living like this,” he says, holding a hand up to gesture at the apartment I now call home.
“I wasn’t
supposed to be here. After the baby was born, I was supposed to moving into a nicer place. Danny was going to take care of everything. Alberto was going to cover the bills,” I say to my hands in my lap.
“Wait, Alberto knew about this?” Felix asks, clearly in shock.
“Yeah, there’s a lot more to the story,” I respond. “Alberto and I were never a real couple. I…one summer, you guys were like fifteen. I wanted to be wherever you guys were. I rode to the beach house hoping to find you guys.
“When I got there, I got the surprise of my life. I didn’t know what to do or think. I just stood there with my mouth open. I mean—”
I shake my head at the memory. My young innocent mind couldn’t put the pieces together back then. I was confused and freaked out.
“When Alberto’s eyes lifted to find me, he looked like he would be sick. Danny was the next one to look up. My brother looked like his world was about to crumble. The girl was the last one to notice me. She just giggled, pushed them off and tossed her clothes on,” I pause to look up at Felix.
He’s watching me intently. No expression on his face to reveal what he’s thinking. I bite my lip feeling like I’m about to betray my brother.
“For months, I couldn’t get the image out of my head. Danny on top of that girl and Alberto on top of Danny,” I shake my head trying to clear the image even now. “Danny sat me down and tried to explain. He told me he wasn’t gay, but my father wouldn’t understand him being Bi. He and Alberto had been a thing for awhile. They found girls that would agree to sleep with both of them.
“Alberto freaked out. He thought I was going to run and tell. He kept saying his dad would kill him. I don’t know what made me do it. I had just gotten into it with my dad over something really stupid. My idea to get back at him was just as dumb.
Brothers Black 5: Felix the Watch Page 3
