A Home at Honeysuckle Farm

by Christie Barlow

‘How do you mean?’ Ben’s sympathetic eyes fixed firmly on me.

  ‘Things are strained with Mum as it is. Can I really go telling her what I’ve discovered and ask questions?’ The photograph of my grandma on the newspaper page was staring back at me, the resemblance between the pair of us was striking. I’d never really noticed from the painting that hung in the gallery at the farmhouse, but this was uncanny.

  ‘Surely it’s no big secret? It’s in the paper.’

  I shrugged. ‘A paper from years ago, one that I shouldn’t have seen. If we hadn’t broken in here, then I would never have found out.’

  ‘But everyone in the village knows about your grandma’s tragic death, it’s not a secret. Talk to Grace and Connie about it, they might presume you already knew.’

  It had never even crossed my mind that Connie would know, but of course she would. Not only was she Mum’s best friend at the time, she also worked for my grandfather.

  ‘I just find it strange that it would never be talked about.’ I’d no idea why, but the gut feeling in the pit of my stomach was telling me there was more to this story. I looked up at Ben through my teary eyes. ‘Do you think that’s why he stopped dancing, stopped performing and just ran the dance school?’

  ‘Maybe,’ he shrugged his shoulders.

  I read through the article one more time and swallowed. Grandma’s life had been taken away from her by a common criminal. Her life over in a split second.

  This surely must have brought Grandie and Mum closer together. I knew it did. We’d lived here for ten years until that night, when that dreadful argument spiralled out of control and Mum packed our things and left.

  Sitting there in the office, I felt saddened by the tragedy of my grandmother’s death. Why had no one ever told me what had happened? I’d never really given it much thought before, I’d just thought … in fact, I had no idea what I thought.

  ‘Come on, we need to get out of here before Jim catches us or Connie arrives home,’ I spluttered, suddenly feeling uneasy that I’d gone rifling through Grandie’s personal hideaway without permission.

  ‘And you’d best get back to work. Ben … please can you keep all this to yourself until I’ve had a chance to chat with Connie and Grandie?’

  ‘Of course,’ he answered.

  Within seconds the room was locked, and Ben had returned to work. I tripped numbly along the lane back towards Wild Rose Cottage with thoughts of the past playing over and over in my mind. Reaching the end of the road and with my mind somewhere else, I stumbled on the edge of the kerb, lost my balance and fell to the ground with a bump.

  ‘Are you okay?’ The voice behind me sounded concerned and I looked up to find the gorgeous eyes of Sam staring back at me. He extended a hand to me, pulling me to my feet, my face dangerously close to his.

  ‘I think so,’ I said, my eyes not leaving his. My heart was beating so loud I thought he might hear. ‘I must have tripped, I wasn’t looking where I was going,’ I said, brushing myself down. I’d no idea where he’d sprung from. ‘What are you doing here?’

  Sam smiled down at his attire.

  ‘Jogging,’ I answered my own question, my eyes skimming over his body which was dressed in trendy sports gear. He had that toned, lean thing going on which gave me tingles in my tummy.

  ‘Where are you going?’ he asked.

  My eyes lifted back towards his and I held my breath, praying he couldn’t read my mind. I thought he was perfect. ‘Home,’ I managed to say, then sucked in a sharp breath.

  Feeling a pain in my knee, I looked down to see the trickle of blood seeping through the ripped knee of my jeans.

  ‘You’re bleeding. Here, sit yourself down on this bench, catch your breath,’ Sam insisted. He extended his arm and draped it around my shoulder while supporting my elbow with his hand. His hazel eyes bore into mine and I could feel my entire body trembling.

  ‘Honestly, I’m okay,’ I answered, even though my knee was smarting. ‘I should have been looking where I was going.’

  ‘Things on your mind?’

  ‘You could say that.’

  Sam bent down in front of me, the pain now coming through in short, sharp bursts. He slowly rolled up my trouser leg then reached over and squeezed my hand, giving me a reassuring smile. ‘I think you’ll live but you’ll need to bathe that, get the grit out. Are you able to walk or is it piggy-back time?’ he said, giving me an amused look, the trace of a smile playing on his lips.

  He was definitely flirting a little.

  ‘Piggy-back every time,’ I mused, biting down on my lip as I imagined myself being hauled on to Sam’s back with my arms tightly wrapped around his broad shoulders.

  He flashed me the most gorgeous of smiles that made my heart skip a beat, then held out his hand. I pressed mine into his, he steadied me and we began to slowly walk up the lane.

  ‘Thanks Sam, I feel a bit of an idiot.’

  ‘No need, just one of those things,’ he said, still smiling, as he raked his other hand through his hair.

  ‘And I’ve delayed your run.’

  ‘Any excuse to help a pretty damsel in distress.’ His eyes caught mine and I glowed inside. Surely, he could feel the attraction between us too.

  ‘How long are you staying in England?’ he probed.

  I was just about to answer when we heard the sound of a van slowing down beside us. Turning round, we saw Bert leaning over and winding down the passenger window.

  ‘What’s going on here?’ he puffed, eyeing me astutely, his manner rather abrupt, taking me by surprise.

  ‘I’ve tumbled over the kerb, and Sam is helping me home.’

  ‘I’ll take it from here.’ Bert’s tone was very direct and what-was-that-look he gave Sam?

  For a moment, a heavy silence settled over us, the tension uneasy.

  It was obvious to anyone that there was some sort of friction between the pair of them and with me rushing off to the farm earlier, Grace hadn’t had time to tell me about the situation that I’d witnessed in The Old Teashop this morning.

  ‘Honestly Bert, I’m fine, Sam’s going to walk me back to the cottage,’ I said, not wanting to be dictated to. ‘We can manage.’

  Bert shot a glance towards my leg. He wasn’t taking no for an answer. ‘I’ll take you up to the farm, that’s closer. Connie’s just arrived home with your grandfather … jump in.’ Bert locked eyes with Sam who shifted uncomfortably and slowly dropped my hand.

  I was feeling a little annoyed at Bert’s insistence but the moment I’d discovered Grandie was out of hospital, I knew I needed to see him.

  ‘You go,’ Sam insisted, not making eye contact with me.

  ‘Are you sure?’ I asked.

  His face had paled and the closeness that had been there between us earlier had suddenly vanished.

  ‘Yes, you go, it’s for the best,’ he said and, taking me completely by surprise, he turned and powered his legs and began jogging up the lane, leaving me standing there.

  What did he mean, it was for the best? One minute he was walking hand in hand with me, mildly flirting, and next he can’t get away from me fast enough.

  Feeling frustrated, I climbed into Bert’s van. What the hell just happened here?

  Bert was silent as he put the car in gear and began to drive. ‘Bert, I have to say I’m rather taken by surprise. That all seemed less than friendly to me.’

  ‘You need to stay away from his sort.’ Bert didn’t look in my direction as he swung the van into the driveway of Honeysuckle Farm.

  ‘His sort?’

  ‘Yes, his sort. Speak to my Dorothy. She’ll tell you all about it.’

  Before I could ask any more questions, Bert had parked the van and the door swung open. I looked up to see Ben standing there. ‘Great timing, looks like your grandfather is home!’ he beamed and tipped his cap at Bert.

  ‘Great news!’ I sounded more cheery than I felt.

  As I began to climb out of the car I felt Bert’s hand on top of mine.
‘Talk to Dorothy.’

  Utterly confused, I let myself into the farmhouse where I was greeted by Marley.

  ‘Connie, Grandie, are you here?’ I shouted up the hallway. Within seconds Connie appeared in the doorway of the kitchen wiping her hands on a tea-towel. Immediately she noticed my ripped, blood-stained jeans which I’d almost forgotten about in the last five minutes.

  ‘Oh gosh, what have you done?’ she fussed, ushering me to a chair in the kitchen before running some warm water in a bowl.

  ‘I slipped off the kerb, it looks worse than it is … ouch,’ I blurted as Connie began dabbing away the small stones that were wedged in the cut with a cotton-wool pad from the drawer.

  ‘Where’s Grandie? Is he home?’

  ‘He is.’ She stopped dabbing and looked me right in the eye. ‘Alice, can I ask you? Did you go into your Grandie’s old office today?’

  My stomach gave a lurch. ‘Yes,’ I answered sheepishly. ‘Ben noticed it from the top of the ladder and curiosity got the better of me. Is there a problem? Is Grandie upset with me?’

  Connie placed a plaster on my knee. ‘That should be okay now,’ she said, rinsing the bowl out in the sink. ‘I would say he’s a little shocked to see his office uncovered after all this time. He’s gone for a lie down.’

  ‘I didn’t mean to hurt anyone,’ I added tentatively.

  ‘Where did you get the key from?’

  ‘Grandie. He gave me a bunch of keys and once we’d uncovered the door I realised one of those keys fitted the lock. Why was it all shut away?’ I asked, as Connie slid a mug of tea in my direction.

  ‘Painful memories for Ted. That was the hub of their life. The dance school was one thing, for the community, but that was where they danced together of a night-time. Where each of them would choreograph their routines, support each other and practise, but once Florrie …’ Her voice wavered and she blinked away a tear.

  ‘Connie, I’ve only just discovered what happened to Grandma.’

  Connie looked at me with sorry eyes and reached over and rubbed my hand. ‘You poor love,’ her tone soft when she realised it was all so new for me.

  ‘No one ever told me, Mum never spoke about her – well, not to me anyway. Did you know what happened?’

  Connie nodded, ‘Yes of course, the whole village was in mourning,’ she shivered, ‘it was devastating for everyone.’ I could see the goosebumps prickle on Connie’s arms and she quivered.

  Taking a deep breath, she said, ‘I was there that night.’

  My jaw dropped open. ‘At the theatre?’ Her face turned a ghastly shade of white. ‘And?’ I narrowed my eyes at Connie. ‘Please tell me.’

  Connie took a breath. ‘It was a big night for Ted and Florrie, they were special guests of the theatre and the press were waiting to take their photographs. It was the first time the show had opened again, since your grandparents had performed The Nutcracker all those years ago. They were local celebrities, guests of honour. Ted had secured a couple of extra seats which he’d given to me and your mum.

  ‘I’d arranged to meet your mum outside the theatre just before 7 p.m., but by ten past she still hadn’t arrived. Florrie had travelled alone from an afternoon event and was due to meet Ted there too. As far as we knew, she’d been stuck in traffic and was also running late. We were waiting outside when Ted suggested we move into the foyer before taking our seats.’ Connie blinked away her tears. ‘So, we did … and that’s when we heard it,’ she exhaled.

  ‘Heard what?’ I questioned.

  ‘The thud, the screams and the screech of a car. We ran outside, there was a huddle of people gathered around a body on the floor … Florrie. The ambulance arrived, but they couldn’t save her. She didn’t make it to hospital.’

  The emotion poured through my body, the tears began to fall. ‘I don’t know what to say.’ My voice trembled.

  For a brief moment, Connie closed her eyes. ‘It was just at that moment that your mum appeared from nowhere … Ted was sitting on the pavement, with your grandma locked in his arms. It was a devastating scene. The police arrived and told us the car was stolen and the driver had mounted the pavement. The bastard was arrested on the spot and thankfully charged and eventually sent down, but it was never going to bring Florrie back.’

  Listening to Connie, I felt like I’d been kicked in the stomach. The pain was so raw, just thinking about what everyone had gone through that night. I sat still, numb. I had no idea what to do or say. What could I say? Grandma had been wiped from their lives through the actions of a selfish human being.

  Visions of my mum filtered through my mind, how her life had changed in a split second. Thinking about her grief, what she’d been through saddened me. Bringing me up without a mother figure in her own life must have been difficult at times.

  Discovering the truth about all of this threw me into further turmoil about the dilemma I’d been faced with. I questioned my own decision to stay in England. After all this time, what would it do to Mum if I abandoned her, especially after what I’d just discovered? I was torn between my love for her and wanting to make a successful life for myself – a home, a business. For all these years she’d been loyal to me, cared for me, had always been there for me, and suddenly my head had been turned by the prospect of this brand-new life back in England.

  A pang of guilt hit me. How could I be so selfish? I loved Mum so much and a future without her in it was unthinkable.

  Connie touched my hand and gave it a quick squeeze. ‘It may be over twenty years ago, but the events of that night never left any of us. Your mum’s life was catapulted into one of grief and disarray. She was in the early stages of pregnancy, carrying you, and she lost so much weight with stress, we thought she might lose you.’

  I gasped, ‘It’s all so awful.’

  ‘To be honest, when you came along – three weeks early, I may add – you were certainly a blessing in disguise. It gave us all something to focus on. You brought joy back into everyone’s life and your grandfather doted on you.’

  My eyes met hers. She was visibly upset and swallowed hard.

  ‘The night Rose went into labour, we were all here, sat in the living room. That day had already been a difficult one.’

  ‘Why?’

  Connie’s shoulders sagged. For a second she squeezed her grief-stricken eyes tightly shut. ‘Because it was Florrie’s birthday. It was the first birthday we’d spent without her. We’d spent the day at the cemetery.’

  I dropped my head in my hands and sobbed. ‘Are you saying my birthday is the same as Grandma’s?’

  Connie nodded. ‘Yes,’ she said softly.

  I took a moment to compose myself but at last someone was talking, I was getting more information about the past. ‘Every year, I must remind them of Grandma.’

  ‘Don’t fret about that, that’s not a bad thing. She was a remarkable, caring person, beautiful on the outside and in, a rare quality in people of this day and age. Go and talk to your grandfather, he’s not angry with you, he just still misses Florrie so much.’

  I nodded, stood up and walked into the hallway. Taking a deep breath, I began to climb the stairs.

  Chapter 13

  I gently pushed open the bedroom door, barely able to breathe. Once standing inside the room, I realised I’d forgotten how magnificently spacious it was, with beautifully restored period interiors. In the middle of the room was a lavish four-poster bed with a gold-embroidered bedspread and through another open door there was the marvellous marble bathroom.

  Everything was just so; there was a dressing table with a silver brush and an old-fashioned perfume vaporiser. A pair of ballet shoes hung over the mirror and two chairs positioned in front of the window overlooked splendid views.

  Grandie was sitting on the edge of the bed staring out on to the farm gardens and the fields beyond which stretched for miles and miles. His eyes teemed with tears, his wedding photo grasped in his hand.

  I felt my heart sink to a new depth.
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br />   ‘Hi Grandie,’ I said, in a wavery voice.

  He looked up and slowly placed the photo down at the side of him. He extended a shaky hand towards me. I quickly grabbed it and sat down next to him.

  For a moment, he didn’t say a word. He just clutched my hand then cupped his other hand over the top before turning towards me.

  It was me who broke the silence. ‘I didn’t mean to upset you,’ my voice caught in my throat. ‘Curiosity got the better of me, which I know is no excuse.’

  His face paled. ‘I know, I know,’ he stuttered, ‘to see the door open …’ He patted my hand. ‘It doesn’t matter,’ he said, sadly.

  ‘It does matter, I should have asked you first before I went poking my nose in.’

  ‘How did you discover it?’

  ‘It was Ben, he noticed it when he was at the top of the ladder. When I had a look, I couldn’t believe it. Why is it all overgrown,’ I asked cautiously, ‘hidden away?’

  Grandie dabbed his eyes with a handkerchief from his pocket. ‘Because it was all too painful. Florrie and I had this place and the dance school to rattle around in, but that little room was where we escaped, let the magic happen. Our own private space where we could be ourselves and dance together. Happy memories – and sad ones too – but once Florrie was gone, I couldn’t step foot inside there again. The grief was too much for me to handle.’

  Grandie looked around the room. ‘The same as this place. This was our bedroom, everything is just how it was when she was alive. Some people may find that a little morbid, but I find it strangely comforting. Soon after we lost her, I moved over to the other side of the house, but Connie still comes in here to dust and vacuum each week.’

  ‘It’s a magnificent room, and look at those views, they’re incredible.’

  The corners of his mouth turned slightly upwards. ‘Florrie used to sit in that chair and read and read. When she wasn’t dancing she was reading. I’d sit opposite with my newspaper, the pair of us could sit in a comfortable silence for many hours.’

  ‘You still miss her.’

  ‘Without a doubt, every day. No one could ever replace or even come close to the love we shared, she was one in a million.’