A Home at Honeysuckle Farm

by Christie Barlow

  Judging by the tone of his voice and after spotting me having breakfast with Sam, it was safe to say he wasn’t happy. I had a horrible feeling about the thunderous look in his eyes.

  ‘You and Sam? Are you … are you?’

  ‘It’s none of your business,’ I replied curtly, daring a quick glance towards the door and hoping Sam would return.

  ‘Does your grandfather know about this?’

  ‘What, that I’m having breakfast in a café on the edge of town?’ I knew I was being facetious but he was being pathetic.

  ‘Maybe I should mention it. That’s where I’m off to now, the farm.’

  I heard the tenor of his breathing change. Inside I was beginning to shake with rage. Was he actually threatening me? Before I had time to answer, he huffily walked out of the café.

  I blew out a breath.

  The absolute horror of his suggestion caused my heart to race. What if he did mention it to Grandie? I had no idea how Grandie was going to react, but thinking about all the possibilities, my appetite diminished fast and I began to feel sick to my stomach. Ben’s manner was quite disturbing, but surely he wouldn’t stoop that low.

  ‘Sorry I’ve been so long. My phone rang.’ Sam settled back at the table, picking up the sauce bottle, oblivious to Ben’s fleeting visit.

  I was staring out of the window. Sam followed my gaze and then he saw him too – Ben striding away, with his hands pushed deep into his pockets.

  ‘Sam, I’m sorry, but I have to go,’ I said with urgency, knowing I needed to hotfoot it to Honeysuckle Farm.

  ‘What have I missed?’ asked Sam, giving me an incredulous stare.

  Chapter 33

  To say I was a nervous wreck was an understatement, as I loitered on the steps of the annexe. Knocking on the door, I waited anxiously for Connie to appear. Half of me was praying she was out, but her car was parked at the side of the barn and when I heard her whistling her way to the door my heart pounded faster. She greeted me with a full-on beam. ‘Good afternoon. I’m glad you’re here.’

  ‘Are you?’ I asked, wondering why.

  ‘Don’t look so worried,’ she smiled, opening the door wide so I could step inside. ‘I’ve managed to pick up numerous dresses for Village Day from the charity shop. With a few alterations and added sequins they will ooze glitz and glamour.’ Connie was thrilled with her findings.

  ‘Now, that is good news.’

  ‘I’ll bring them over to the dance school and get to work on them straight away once they’ve been tried on.’

  ‘Connie, you’re a star.’

  I was touched and flattered that everyone was pulling together to support me. The community spirit was heartfelt – well, all except Ben, who seemed hell bent on causing me trouble.

  We looked at each other. ‘I do need to speak to you about Rose’s arrival, though,’ said Connie. She eyed me, ‘In fact, you do look kind of pale. Everything’s all right, isn’t it? C’mon dear, it can’t be that bad, a problem shared and all that.’ Her kindness was overwhelming. ‘Tea, we need tea.’

  ‘Thanks, I’d love a tea. It’s just been a bit of a dramatic morning.’

  ‘Sit yourself down and you can tell me all about it.’

  ‘I’m not sure you’d want to hear it,’ I replied fearfully, offering a slight smile even though inside I was far from smiling.

  Connie sat down opposite me. ‘In fact, you go first,’ I offered, quietly inhaling.

  ‘Well, the thing is, I’m quite surprised, Alice,’ she continued.

  I knew what was coming. I sat quietly on the edge of my seat and sipped at my drink.

  ‘Ted hasn’t mentioned Rose’s arrival at all. Half of me was thinking he’d have broached the subject by now, but I suppose he may feel uncomfortable talking about it, and I didn’t want to press him. I’m sure he’s worried and anxious about tomorrow. Maybe I’ll talk to him about it tonight, once he’s had his tipple of whisky and is settled back in at home.’

  ‘No don’t, you can’t say a word to him,’ the words tripped out of my mouth before I could stop them. ‘Promise me.’ The turmoil flushed through my body.

  Connie’s eyes widened as she fixed her gaze on me.

  By the look on her face, I could see that warning alarms were probably ringing loud and clear in her mind. ‘I’m not liking the sound of this. Why wouldn’t I mention it to Ted?’

  ‘Because he doesn’t know she’s coming.’

  She breathed out slowly, staring straight at me, then rubbed her hand up and down her upper arm, clearly not comfortable with the situation.

  ‘He doesn’t know she’s coming?’ repeated Connie, most probably hoping she’d misheard me the first time.

  Shaking my head in shame, I said, ‘I kind of lied.’

  ‘There seems to be no “kind of” about it.’ She was still staring at me.

  Utterly ashamed, tears sprang to my eyes. ‘I’ve told Mum that Grandie is asking to see her, that’s why she’s agreed to fly home.’

  Connie’s eyes never left mine. Her trembling hand rose to her forehead and she wiped her brow with the back of her hand. The look on her face was pure shock and disbelief. ‘Let me get this straight, you’ve cajoled your mum here under false pretences.’ Connie was beginning to sound impatient.

  ‘I have to admit, it’s not feeling like one of my better plans.’

  ‘So, Rose has booked a plane ticket, not knowing the true facts. She’s under the impression Ted is going to fling his arms open wide and welcome her home after all this time.’

  ‘I don’t think she’s expecting everything to be hunky-dory but … pretty much so,’ I admitted, feeling stupid and helpless. ‘You never know, when they clap eyes on each other, all might be forgiven for whatever went on,’ I said with a little bit of hope in my voice.

  Connie cocked an eyebrow at me. ‘So, what’s the plan of action when Rose arrives tomorrow? How do you think she’s going to react when she discovers Ted hasn’t asked to see her and she’s travelled all this way? It’s not as if New York is just around the corner! And then what do you think Ted is going to do when he discovers Rose is here, and you’ve lied to them both? Alice, this situation goes back years and neither one of us knows the root cause of it. Some things are best left alone.’

  ‘But how can any of this ever be sorted if they are in different countries?’

  ‘What do you think this is going to do to your grandfather, and to Rose? He’s only been out of hospital for a matter of hours.’

  ‘I’ve not really thought that far ahead,’ I admitted, feeling a pang of guilt.

  ‘Obviously,’ Connie sighed, ‘it’s not for us to meddle in anyone’s business, and believe me, I know it’s frustrating. I lost my best friend all those years ago but we need to respect their decisions – they might not want to sort it out. It’s their choice, not ours. Yes, of course it would be fantastic if everyone got on, played happy families, but I think we need to face facts. The probability of that actually happening is low, especially after all this time.’

  ‘But I don’t want to give up on either of them and I want to stay in England. And I can’t do that if my mum is living in New York! I know I’ve lied, but can’t you see how desperate I am?’

  Connie seemed to take pity on me and squeezed my hand. ‘I know your heart is in the right place. But you could jeopardise your own relationship with both of them, and what is Ted going to think of me? He’s been good to me, always looked out for me and Grace. I’ll tell you what I think – he’ll think I’ve been a willing party in all this deception, especially when he discovers I’ve picked Rose up from the airport. He’s going to know I knew about this little charade. How’s it all going to look?’ Her voice was now unsteady and full of anguish.

  I nodded my head shamefully. ‘I’ll tell Grandie, I’ll tell him it had nothing to do with you whatsoever,’ I offered, swallowing down the lump in my throat and feeling absolutely dreadful about it all.

  Connie sighed, ‘We can’t ch
ange it now and all we can do is try to handle this situation as best we can.’

  I nodded in agreement, not trusting myself to speak.

  ‘What I’m suggesting,’ Connie carried on, ‘is that we don’t tell Ted tonight. Let him settle back in without any extra worry. He needs a good night’s sleep in his own bed. Then once Rose has landed, she needs to know the truth and you need to own up to your grandfather.’

  ‘Okay,’ I said. ‘I’m not sure how Mum is going to react either.’

  ‘I can hazard a guess,’ Connie answered in a slightly unsympathetic tone. ‘But you need to be straight with her too. Tell her how much you want to stay here and how worried you are about her staying in New York. Whoever was right or wrong all those years ago, let’s just hope that after the initial shock of them finding out they are both in the same village …’ Connie took a breath, ‘you never know, a miracle may just happen.’

  ‘Do you think?’ I said, hopeful.

  ‘I’ve no idea,’ Connie said simply.

  ‘I am sorry,’ I said, feeling absolutely wretched about the whole situation. I’d played with fire and I knew I was about to get burnt. ‘But there’s another dilemma.’

  ‘Go on …’

  ‘Sam.’

  ‘Sam Reid?’

  I nodded, feeling myself beginning to tremble. ‘He’s helping me out with Village Day. I managed to talk Dorothy round but I’ve not had a chance to talk to Grandie about it … I’ve no idea how he feels about Sam and I was waiting until he was out of hospital and things had settled,’ I took a breath, ‘and we’ve been getting close,’ I blurted. ‘Ben doesn’t like it, he’s implied he’s going to tell Grandie and I’ve no idea how he’s going to react.’

  Connie listened intently. ‘Ben can be hot-headed at times,’ she declared. ‘But don’t you worry about him, we’ll figure it out.’

  ‘Thank you,’ I said gratefully. ‘I’m sorry to have let you down.’

  ‘You’ve done it for the right reasons. Let’s sit tight and see what happens, wait until the morning.’

  There was nothing else I could do now except exactly that, but I was grateful for Connie’s reassurance and relieved to get it all out in the open. It was comforting to know that even though I may have got things wrong, I had both Connie and Grace for support.

  Chapter 34

  It was just past eight o’clock in the morning and I’d slipped out of Wild Rose Cottage before Grace was awake. I’d had a restless night, knowing that Mum was arriving today and I hadn’t told Grandie yet. I’d promised Connie I would do it first thing this morning and time was ticking. It had been a hell of a couple of days and in need of some fresh air, I grabbed my coat and headed towards the fields at the back of Honeysuckle Farm for a brisk walk. An aeroplane soared through the clouds above and I knew Mum would be on her flight and Connie would be on her way to the airport. It was only a matter of time before I knew how all this was going to pan out, and at Honeysuckle Farm it felt as though everything was closing in and was about to buckle underneath me at any given time. I didn’t like the uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach that I’d no control over.

  With the early morning sun shining on my face, I followed the stream and glanced towards the church, its steeple towering above the top of the hill. The view was breath-taking and stretched out for miles. As a child, I remembered Grandie and Mum had taken me to the church a couple of times. After the service, I’d sat on the bench with Mum while Grandie had tended to a grave. The memory was hazy, as I’d only been small. Then a thought struck me: it must have been Grandma’s grave. Having the sudden urge to find it, I powered my legs through the long grass and soon arrived at the entrance of the church. The graveyard was well maintained with bursts of colour sprouting from every aluminium pot standing in front of the headstones. The grass was neatly mowed and there were benches sporadically dotted around the paths. I remembered I’d been sat on a bench near the back of the churchyard by an old oak tree. Feeling the tears well up, I sauntered towards it. My plan was to search for Grandma’s headstone from the far end, then walk horizontally across each row until I stumbled across it. If Grandma was here, then surely I would find her.

  There were two figures in the distance, a man stooped over a gravestone clutching a small bouquet of flowers. He arranged them in the vase at the foot of the headstone.

  There was an aching familiarity about him and my heart began thudding inside my chest and goosebumps prickled my skin when I recognised Grandie. Connie was standing by his side. I didn’t understand why Connie was here. Shouldn’t she be on her way to the airport to pick up Mum? Their heads were bent low and Connie’s hand was resting on the small of Grandie’s back. I was puzzled, had Mum changed her mind? Was she not arriving today? I went hot and cold in rapid succession and, not knowing what to do, I slid on to a nearby bench and watched them both, until they turned and slowly walked towards me.

  ‘Hi,’ I said, as they approached. My voice must have startled them.

  Connie looked at me, followed by Grandie. His eyes were watery, he was visibly upset.

  ‘I’m surprised to see you here,’ I said, my eyes searching Connie’s for answers.

  ‘Jim’s running an errand for me this morning.’ She gave me a look and I read between the lines. He must have gone to the airport to pick up Mum. ‘So I could accompany Ted here today.’

  ‘Are you okay?’ I asked, not really understanding what was going on. Grandie looked like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.

  With a slight hesitation, he spoke. ‘Alice, why are you here?’

  For a split second I debated what to say. ‘I’ve never visited Grandma’s grave, and something was telling me to come. I’m sorry, maybe I should have spoken to you about it first.’

  He gave me a loving smile before Connie patted his arm. ‘You two need to talk. I’ll be over there,’ she said. ‘Give me a shout when you’re ready to go.’ We watched Connie trail off towards the entrance of the church. ‘Shall we sit?’ I offered.

  Grandie nodded and I helped to steady him on to the bench.

  ‘Is it Grandma you’re visiting?’ I asked tentatively.

  ‘Yes,’ he replied, ‘today …’ he took my hand and held it tight, ‘is our anniversary. We got married in this church.’ He took a fleeting glance towards the steeple. ‘People always say it’s the best day of your life and I can’t argue with that.’ His voice quivered. ‘I really wish things could have been different.’

  ‘Me too, I would have loved to meet her.’

  ‘Come on,’ he said, pushing himself up by his walking stick, ‘I’ll show you where she is.’

  We walked slowly in silence towards the spot where Grandie had been standing minutes earlier. He stopped and gestured to the well-kept grave, ‘Here she is.’ He smiled fondly towards the headstone.

  Sadness crept through the whole of my body and my eyes shimmered with tears.

  In Loving Memory of Florrie Rose Parker

  Beloved wife of Ted Parker

  Treasured mother of Rose Parker

  He eased his hand into mine, ‘I do miss her, you know. I miss them both.’ His eyes slid briefly from mine and he gently let go of my hand.

  I swallowed down a lump, ‘Both? Do you mean Mum as well?’

  He didn’t answer.

  ‘Talk to me, Grandie.’ The frustration in my voice was loud and clear.

  ‘I’m feeling tired,’ he replied, ‘let’s head back to the farm.’

  I exhaled. As much as I loved the stubborn old man, I was beginning to tire of being kept in the dark.

  He turned and slowly walked towards Connie, who was waiting at the gate of the churchyard in the car.

  I felt so exasperated about the whole situation. Mum and Grandie were both as obstinate as each other, holding on to their grudge because of their pride.

  Connie drove us back to Honeysuckle Farm and the second the front door opened we were greeted by Marley, excitedly wagging his tail and padding around u
s in circles. Connie made haste into the kitchen to make tea but not before insisting I now tell Grandie of Mum’s imminent arrival.

  Scared, I caught sight of my deflated face reflecting back from the hallway mirror, then followed Grandie into the living room. We sat facing each other, Grandie in his favourite chair and I settled on the sofa, crossed-legged like I always used to sit when I was a little girl. I was fearful, an uneasy feeling swathed me. The mood was sombre and I knew that before I came clean I was going to press him once more for answers. His breathing was shallow and neither of us spoke for a moment. Then, taking a deep breath, I broke the silence.

  ‘Just then, in the churchyard … did you mean Mum?’ I probed softly. ‘You must miss her, tell me you miss her.’

  He pressed a hand to his chest and his gaze fell to the floor.

  ‘Of course I miss her. I’ve always missed her.’

  This was the first time he’d admitted it to me, and I felt a sense of relief wash over me. Maybe there was a chance this could all be fixed?

  Taking the plunge, I continued, ‘There’s something I need to say, Grandie.’

  He looked up, ‘What is it, Alice?’

  ‘There’s something inside me telling me it’s the right thing for me to stay, here, in England. You have given me the most fantastic opportunity, and this place … this place is my home.’

  His eyes lit up.

  ‘But … like I’ve said before, I want Mum to come into the business with me, to move back to England and run the school like she used to.’

  Grandie’s face drooped and he remained silent.

  ‘She’s my mum,’ I said nervously. ‘How can I possibly choose between the two of you? I love you both, surely you understand that.’

  I noticed a tear roll down his face.

  ‘I’m sorry, I don’t want you to be upset,’ I said softly and I really didn’t, ‘but I know you can see the predicament I’m in. I need to offer this chance to Mum with your blessing, and then it’s up to her if she accepts.’

  Deep down, I think he knew that this would be the case.