Radclyffe - Love's Masquerade

by Love's Masquerade (lit)

  "There aren't any details. She wanted to wait."

  "You okay with that?"

  "Yeah," Gayle said slowly. "It surprised me. It's not like I have anything against being physical any time, but it was awfully...sweet."

  "It is." Auden reached down and squeezed Gayle's calf. "So what are your plans for the rest of the day?"

  "Teddy is coming back here after her meeting, and I intend to jump her bones."

  Auden laughed out loud. "That sounds like a plan."

  "What about you?"

  "I'm going in to the office for a while."

  "You're kidding. It's Sunday afternoon."

  "I know," Auden said softly. "But I don't have anything else to do, and I enjoy the work."

  "You need more than work, Aud,"

  "I know." She met Gayle's eyes. "Hays is coining back to work tomorrow."

  "Aud..."For aheartbeat, Gayle considered telling her about Hays's condition. But she couldn't, and not just for professional reasons. She knew that Auden would not want to learn something that private from anyone except Hays. She took a deep breath. "I'm glad."

  "Me, too," Auden confided. So very, very glad.

  Auden walked quietly through the deserted hallways, heading directly for the coffee room. To her surprise, a pot sat on the warmer and when she lifted it and sniffed, it smelled remarkably fresh. She set it down, walked to the doorway, and peered up and down the hall. Her heart leapt when she realized that the door opposite was standing open. Wanting to run, she forced herself to walk slowly. Almost afraid when she looked in, she expected to be disappointed.

  "You're here." Her voice was less surprised than grateful.

  Hays glanced up from the papers in her hand, her eyes sparkling, unable to suppress a wide smile. "Yes, I am. And so are you."

  They looked at one another across the room, both of them grinning foolishly.

  "You look rested." Auden was amazed at the difference a week had made. It was the first time she'd ever seen Hays when she didn't look tired. Although naturally pale, now her skin was lustrous, with a healthy sheen. She had always appeared sure and certain, but now there was an aura of vigor about her that was nearly palpable. You look wonderful.

  "I suppose I should take a vacation more often," Hays agreed, staring at Auden as if to memorize each detail. "But I hate to be away." She gestured at her desktop, which was covered with piles of correspondence and reports. "There's just more work to do when I get back."

  Auden scanned the desk, looking for a mug among the disarray. "There's coffee. Do you want some?"

  "Oh, yeah. I made it when I came in, and then I forgot all about it." Hays rose. "You don't need to get it for me, though."

  Auden gestured her down with one hand. "Don't be silly. I'm up and I was about to get some for myself. I'll be right back. That is, if you don't mind."

  "No, not at all. Please, join me."

  When Auden returned a few moments later, Hays was waiting on the sofa. Auden sat beside her and put the two cups down on the low table in front of them. Hays reached for hers at the same time, and their hands briefly touched. Hays caught her breath sharply at the contact, and Auden gave a small start. They both drew back, careful not to look at one another.

  "So," Hays asked in what she hoped was a conversational tone, "how are you progressing with Destiny's debut publication?"

  "Well, I've contacted everyone involved, and we're geared up to start tomorrow." She wondered if her voice was shaking. She found it difficult to concentrate on anything except the subtle hint of Hays's cologne.

  "I'd say you've definitely gotten your feet wet in a hurry, Ms. Frost."

  The way Hays said her name was like a caress. Auden forced herself to focus. "I'd say I'm about hip deep at this point."

  "I stand corrected." Hays laughed as she stretched one arm out on the sofa behind Auden's back. God, it felt so good to be back. She couldn't think of anything she'd rather be doing at that moment than sitting here with this woman. "Seriously, I'm very impressed with how quickly you've grasped the critical issues. Have you handed off the manuscripts to your editors yet?"

  Auden shook her head. "I know I' m probably being too controlling, and I'll need to learn to delegate, but I really want to review these first works myself before they go to anyone else."

  "It's up to you." Hays lifted a shoulder. "The timetable can be flexible, although some time this week I'd like to draw up a tentative publication schedule for the upcoming year. Will you have gone through all the manuscripts by then?"

  "Definitely. And I have a pretty good idea how much work needs to be done on each so we can at least rank them in terms of potential release dates."

  "Sounds fine." Hays phrased her next question cautiously. "Any problems or reservations in regards to any of them?"

  Auden's reply was just as careful. "I wouldn't say problems, no. I think that Silverman's manuscript is a little rough and is probably going to take more editing than she might expect. I got the sense from my meeting with her that she wasn't used to much critical input"

  "She's a popular author. Popularity tends to produce a fair amount of...confidence."

  "That's a nice way of phrasing it," Auden said with a smile. "Thane Cutlass is enormously popular, and she didn't blink an eye when I asked her if she could expand the plot line in Midnight Rendezvous. " ,

  Hays raised an eyebrow. She'd critiqued that manuscript as Thane had written it and thought the book was a clear winner, "You thought the plot was light?"

  "No, I thought the sex was heavy."

  "Thane Cutlass is known for that."

  "Yes, and from what I can see, she's very good at it. I'm not suggesting she change that." Auden was mentally reviewing the work again and didn't notice Hays's intent expression. "I just think she needs to balance the two a little bit more."

  "Why?" Hays asked, genuinely curious.

  "I read some of the posts to her discussion group, and it seems that all of her fans love her style. But a few of the readers wanted more of the emotional interaction to complement the physical relationships."

  "You've been trolling the websites? When have you had time to do that in addition to reviewing all the manuscripts, hiring a staff, and launching our first publication?"

  Auden blushed, suddenly self-conscious. "I'm a fast reader."

  Concerned, Hays said seriously, "No one expects you to become familiar with every aspect of the business overnight, Auden. It won't help if you burn out from overwork."

  "I'm not overworked," Auden protested. "I love it."

  "Still," Hays continued, leaning forward to rest her hand on Auden's arm, "it's Sunday afternoon and here you are."

  "You're here, too," Auden pointed out quietly. She stared at the fingers, strong and steady, on her arm. When she raised her eyes, Hays's face was very near. Auden couldn't take her eyes from Hays's mouth. Her lips were parted slightly, and Auden felt again their softness, felt the gentle press of a tongue along the sensitive inner surface...

  "Auden?" Hays's voice was low, husky.

  "Yes?" Just a breath of a word.

  "I think your phone is ringing."

  Auden blinked, sat back. "Oh...I should get that."

  Hays nodded as Auden bolted from the room, then collapsed back against the cushions. She was shaking, her hands were trembling, and for the first time in months, it had nothing whatsoever to do with being ill. It had everything to do with being alive. It felt wonderful—and terrifying.

  Chapter Twenty

  A uden lunged across her desk and snatched up the receiver on the fifth ring. Panting slightly, she announced, "Auden Frost."

  "Aud?" Gayle asked. "What are you doing? It sounds like you're running a race."

  "Trying to beat the voicemail—I was in the other room. What's up?" Auden settled her hip onto the corner of her desk and struggled to concentrate. All she could think about was how much she had wanted to kiss Hays a minute ago. Correction—still wanted to. Her heart was hammering and ev
ery nerve fiber in her body jangled. She realized that Gayle had been speaking and that she hadn't heard a word. "What? I'm sorry."

  "Hey, are you sure you're okay?"

  "Yes. Fine."

  "I said that Teddy called a little while ago from her hotel. She's checking out and, well, staying here tonight,"

  "Congratulations."

  There was a moment's silence. "Last night she slept on the couch and that might be where she's sleeping tonight, too. It's up to her. I don't intend to rush her."

  Auden shook her head, smiling faintly. "I'm afraid you two have been taken over by aliens. I'm not sure any of your friends would recognize either one of you."

  "I tend to agree with you," Gayle laughed with her friend. "At any rate, the reason I'm calling is to share a little gossip."

  "Oh? By all means."

  "Guess who Teddy had lunch with?"

  "Uh...God, Gayle, you know I hate guessing. Who?"

  "Rune Dyre."

  Auden drew a swift breath. "You're kidding? Someone finally got her to come out in the light of day?"

  "Yep. You know Teddy and she are working on something together, don't you?"

  "I do, although I haven't seen any of it yet. Thane promised to send it to me." She walked around behind her desk and booted up her computer.

  "Well, apparently, Dyre wanted to talk about it, and she contacted Teddy for a meeting."

  "She's in town then?"

  "Well, she was a few hours ago."

  "I have to go, sweetie," Auden said, her mind working furiously. "Good luck tonight, no matter who sleeps where."

  "Don't worry. I'll give you a complete report."

  "Not too complete," Auden said with a laugh. "Call me later."

  As soon as Gayle hung up, Auden opened her e-mail program.

  -----Original Message-----

  From: AFrost@PalmPub.net

  Sent: Sunday March 30, 3:30 PM

  To : Rune@HeartLand.com

  Subject: Re: Appointment

  Priority: High

  Ms. Dyre:

  Please forgive the reliance on hearsay, but I chanced to learn that you were in Philadelphia earlier today. I realize that this is very short notice, but if you have remained in town and are available when you receive this message, I am still very anxious to meet with you to discuss the plans for both your current works and future endeavors.

  I believe that this, would be to the mutual benefit of you and Palmer Publishing. I am free to meet with you this afternoon or tomorrow. I'll be happy to accommodate your schedule in any way that I can.

  Please call me at 215-555-8950 or email me here with your itinerary. I look forward to meeting with you soon.

  Auden Frost

  Director, Destiny Books Palmer Publishing, Inc.

  Auden sent the message and leaned back in her chair. What she wanted to do was go back to Hays's office. She knew she couldn't, because Hays had come to the office to work and so had she. Plus, she had no reasonable excuse to see her again. And most importantly, what she was feeling had nothing to do with her job. She glanced at the papers and manuscripts heaped on her desk, desperately searching for something to occupy her mind. Despite the fact that she had hours of work in front of her, she couldn't settle on a single thing. Fortunately, her computer made the familiar sound that announced incoming mail, and she quickly turned to look at her inbox. To her surprise, she had a return message from Rune Dyre.

  She opened it, scanned it, and frowned. She read it again, but the message still said the same thing. Slowly, she got to her feet and walked out into the hallway. A moment later she knocked on Hays's partially open door.

  "Come in," Hays responded immediately.

  When Auden entered, Hays was standing at the window, facing the square.

  "The snow is melting so quickly," Hays observed musingly. "It's hard to believe that just a week ago we were in the middle of a blizzard."

  "It's the season for rapid changes," Auden commented as she crossed to Hays' side.

  "Yes, you're right," Hays murmured. "I guess that it is."

  "I just got a very strange e-mail from Rune Dyre." When Hays failed to answer, Auden continued. "I had heard that she was in town, and I contacted her again about a meeting. In her e-mail reply, she suggested that I talk to you."

  Hays turned away from the window, meeting the question in Auden's eyes. In a voice that was faintly apologetic, she said, "I'm Rune Dyre."

  It took a moment for the meaning of Hays's words to register. Then Auden was bombarded with a plethora of images from Dyre's works— words and phrases and scenes she practically knew by heart. Lonely, desolate women—betrayed by lovers, abandoned by love—often too wounded to be healed, even by the touch of their beloved. Interspersed were vivid visions of passion—tender, gentle caresses; wild, magical moments of abandon; dark needs and desperate joinings. You wrote all those things? Are those women you? Are those your needs, your fears, your desires? Do you hurt that way inside?

  "Auden?" Hays had expected that Auden might be angry that she had not told her right away, but she hadn't anticipated the distant, almost pained expression in Auden's eyes. "Auden, are you angry?"

  "Angry?" Auden shook her head, feeling slightly dazed. "No...I... I'm just surprised. I've read everything she's., .you've written." Senses on overload, she tried desperately to make the connection between the woman she knew and the works that had moved her so much, and she was having a hard time assimilating it. There was one thing of which she was certain, though. "Oh, Hays—you're very good."

  Despite herself, Hays was pleased. "It means a lot to me that you think so. I'm not sure why I didn't tell you sooner. It's just that for me, writing is such a private thing."

  "Who else knows?"

  "Just Abel and Thane."

  "Thane," Auden repeated, taken aback. "She never let on."

  Hays shook her head. "She didn't know. Not until today."

  "It's been a day of revelations for you, then."

  "Yes, it has." Hays reached for Auden's hand, grasped it very lightly, her fingers just curling over the edge of Auden's palm. "Are you sure you're not angry?"

  "I'm certain. It's just going to take me a little while to get used to ,the idea. When I think of Rune Dyre, I have this image of her that I've... constructed, I guess, from reading her... your... books. Now I wonder, are any of the things I've unconsciously assumed really true?" She shook her head, laughing faintly. "I must sound a little crazy, don't I?"

  "No, not at all," Hays replied softly. "I think part of the reason that I've kept Rune's identity a secret is that I wanted my work to be the focus, uncontaminated by my presence. I like being the anonymous voice behind the words,"

  "You're not interested in celebrity?" Auden asked with a hint of levity. She was aware that their hands were still linked, their fingers lightly clasped now. She liked the contact, but she liked the warmth in Hays's eyes even more.

  Hays laughed. "I don't think there's any real danger of that, although I suppose I wouldn't mind. But I've always been very private about the things that matter most to me."

  "I think I understand that."

  As they talked, they drifted even closer together, until their bodies were almost touching. Hays, slightly taller, inclined her head to hear Auden's soft words, and she felt Auden's breath flutter against her cheek. "I knew somehow that you would."

  Auden raised her head, inadvertently bringing their lips a whisper apart.

  She s going to kiss me.

  I want to kiss her.

  God, I want her to...

  God, I have to...

  Desire shimmered in the air. Breath hung suspended. Hearts beat wildly.

  Auden stepped back.

  "I...I'm sorry. I'm still a little stunned..." Auden knew she wasn't making any sense. Her head was filled with a roaring sound that made it impossible for her to concentrate. Her legs were shaking, and she was so aroused, she knew it must show in her face. She had no idea what Hays was feeling
at the moment, but she'd asked once to be kissed, and she couldn't ask again. "Hays, I..." want you and I don't brow how to tell you.

  Hays gently placed her fingers against Auden's mouth. She felt her tremble, saw the desire in her hazy eyes. We can't do this here, not in the office, not in a place where our relationship is defined by the professional. Because if we kiss, I won't stop, and I don't want to make love with you here, not this way — even if you want to.

  "Shh, you don't need to say anything. I'm the one who should apologize for springing this on you. I just don't want it to..." come between us "be a problem for us working together."

  "No. It won't." Auden wondered if only she felt the desire. The expression in Hays's eyes—so intense, so serious—was so hard to read. "I should...get back to work."

  "Yes. So should I." Hays hesitated for a moment. "I'm very glad you're here, Auden."

  "So am I." Finally in control again, Auden smiled wistfully. "A few days from now, when I've turned the whole place upside down trying to get this book out, you might think differently."

  "I can't imagine that anything would ever make me change my mind."

  Auden sat for a long time in her office, reading things she knew she wouldn't remember the next day. She wondered what Hays was doing, what she was thinking. She wondered if Hays was writing. Finally, she picked up the manuscript of Dark Passions and started reading again from the beginning. She looked for Hays in Rune's words and thought she saw the loneliness and sadness that so often seemed to shimmer beneath the surface of Hays's dark eyes. She reread love scenes, imagining Hays writing them, wondering if Hays was writing her desires or only her dreams. When she finished, she had even more questions about the enigmatic author than before. She also felt closer to Hays in a way that she couldn't define, but she knew that she had glimpsed a very special part of her, and she cherished that.

  When Auden finally left her office that evening, the light shone from beneath Hays's office door, but the door itself was closed. She did not pause as she walked quietly by.

  Gayle opened her apartment door and smiled up at the woman standing in the hallway. "Hi."