He looked worried, and that frightened Auden more than anything had thus far.
"What are we looking at here?" The question terrified her, but she had to know. She wanted to be ready. Hays would need that.
"If her counts don't rise soon, she'll be at risk for hemorrhage and widespread infection. I'll transfuse her tonight, and we'll keep a close eye on her temperature." He gave Auden an encouraging smile. "This may just be a bump in the road. In a week, we could all be celebrating."
"Isn't there something else you can do?"
"I'm sorry." His frustration was evident. "I'll talk to her."
"No," Auden said quickly, grasping his arm. "I'll tell her."
As the technician left with her tray of blood samples, Auden crossed to the stretcher and leaned down to kiss Hays's forehead. Hays's eyes were closed and her breathing shallow. "Darling?"
Hays's eyes flickered opened, and she smiled weakly. "I think I fell asleep."
"That's all right." Auden stroked her cheek and managed a smile of her own. "Paul wants to keep you here for a bit."
"That bad, huh?"
"Your blood counts are low. He wants to be careful."
"What about the results of the bone marrow tests?"
"The transplant hasn't kicked in yet."
Hays studied Auden's eyes and saw the fear she tried so hard to hide. "Call Gayle, okay? I don't want you to be alone."
"I'm not alone," Auden replied softly, her throat thick with tears she would not shed, "I'm with you."
"Auden, please call her." Hays's voice was weary but insistent. "I need to know that you're okay."
"I'm all right." Auden bent near and kissed Hays's cheek again. With her lips close to her lover's ear, she whispered, "I have you, and that's all I'll ever need. I want you to remember that no matter what comes, I'll be with you."
"I love you," Hays murmured. "But I'm so tired."
"Then you should sleep." Auden was grateful that Hays had closed her eyes again and could not see her face. She bit her lip and steadied her voice, "I'll be right here when you wake up."
Already drifting away, Hays clung to those words and the image of Auden's smile.
"Any change?" Gayle asked softly.
Auden shook her head. Hays was asleep, her face a wash of sweat. The light sheet covering her chest barely seemed to move with each shallow breath. She's so still. Almost as if... Auden shuddered, the pain so swift she couldn't breathe.
"Have you had dinner?"
"I...am not sure." Auden tried to think. It had been three days since Hays had been admitted, and Auden had spent almost every minute in the hospital, sitting by her bedside, talking with her when she was awake, holding her hand or stroking her hair as she'd slept. Sleep, however, was something that had eluded Auden. She was afraid to be away from Hays' side. Desperately, she hoped that her constant presence would lend Hays strength and prayed that her love would ease Hays's pain.
"Come on," Gayle whispered, resting her hand gently on Auden's shoulder. "Thane is coming by to have dinner with me in the hospital cafeteria. You're joining us."
"No," Auden replied quietly. "I can't."
"You have to." Gayle's voice was fierce, but her touch tender as she brushed her fingers over Auden's hair. "You need to take care of yourself. You know Hays will never forgive herself if you get sick. Is that what you want, to add to her pain?"
Auden glanced up into her friend's concerned eyes. "You don't play fair."
"Never said I did." Gayle shrugged. "I love you, and she'll need you more than ever now."
"All right," Auden agreed with a sigh, rising unsteadily. She was hungry, and so very tired, "Just for a little while."
As they stepped out into the hall, Paul Rosenberg unexpectedly appeared around the comer. He was in street clothes and without his usual clipboard.
Auden's heart rose in her throat, and she grasped Gayle's hand automatically. It's after seven on a weeknight. Why is he here?
"Is something wrong?" Auden asked anxiously before he even had time to greet them.
"No," he exclaimed, a huge smile breaking over his face. "Something is finally right. I just looked at the results of Hays's latest bone marrow biopsy. She's finally chimeric..." At Auden's uncertain look, he clarified. "There are definite signs of transplanted cells growing in her marrow. We're getting a response."
"It's working?" Auden whispered, almost afraid to believe she'd heard correctly.
When he nodded, Auden suddenly felt dizzy. Had Gayle not slipped an arm around her waist, she might have fallen. Instead, she turned her face into Gayle's neck and let the tears come.
"Auden?" Hays's throat was dry and her head pounded with the dull ache that seemed to be her constant companion whenever she was awake.
"I'm here, darling."
Hays frowned at the dark circles under Auden's normally vibrant eyes. "What time is it?"
"Eleven."
"At night?"
"Yes." Auden slid the chair forward and tilted the water cup with its straw toward Hays's lips. "Here. You must be thirsty."
After Hays managed a few sips, she said, "Thanks. You look tired, sweetheart."
"Mmm, a bit." Auden smiled. "I have news."
"Good news?"
"The best." Auden couldn't hide the tears, but for the first time in a long time, she didn't try. "Paul says the latest bone marrow biopsy shows sign of take. The transplant is working,"
Hays's eyes grew wide, and then she gasped, a small choked sound. "Oh God. Auden." She reached for Auden's hand and held on tightly. "Oh God, I love you."
And then they were both crying and laughing and daring to dream once more.
Epilogue
----- Original Message-----
From: [email protected]
Sent: Friday November 26, 2:40PM
To : [email protected]
Subject: Dark Passions-Frontmatter
Attachment: DP-ded.doc 2 6KB
Ms. Frost:
I've attached the information you requested for Dark Passions. I am delighted to hear that it is on schedule for the planned release in two weeks. Thank you for all you have done to make that a reality. Need I say that I could never have done it without you?
I look forward to seeing you at the convention in Washington next month. I do hope that you save an evening there for me.
Yours most truly,
Rune Dyre
Auden smiled and hit Reply.
----Reply----
From: [email protected]
Sent: Friday November 2 6, 2:48PM
To : [email protected]
Subject: Re: DarkPassions-Frontmatter
Ms. Dyre:
It was my great pleasure to assist you in completing this work. You may be sure that we will meet in DC. My calendar is always free for you—name the time.
Yours most sincerely,
Auden Frost
Then she opened the attachment.
Acknowledgment
Thane Cutlass said write it, and she never stopped believing. She was there in the uncertain hours of its conception, weathering all my doubts and misgivings — reading, critiquing, and encouraging. This is as much hers as mine.
Most importantly, Thane and her lover, Gayle, remained steadfast friends to me during my own dark hours, lending strength not only to me but also to the woman I love. For that, I am more grateful than I can say.
This book embodies my darkest dreams, my brightest hopes, and my greatest passions. To my everlasting joy, it has all come true.
RD
Dedication
To Auden
My Passion, My Love
With trembling hands, Auden picked up the phone and dialed an extension.
"Hello?"
"Have I ever told you how much I love you?" Auden asked.
"Every day for the last eight months."
"Some things bear repeating."
"Good," Hays whispered, "Because I'll never tire of hearing it,"
"That's very good, then," Auden said softly. "Because forever is a long, long time."
The End
Radclyffe - Love's Masquerade Page 30
