Amber Eyes

by S. D. Grimm

  Then he faced Ethan, eyes hard. “I’m trusting you to get your recklessness under control.” His eyes flicked to Jayden. “For their sakes.”

  A cold rush of air shot through Jayden’s chest, and Ethan closed his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

  Logan nodded. “Good.” Then he led them out the city gate.

  Chapter 28

  Playing with Fire

  Ryan sat on the wet ground in his soaked clothes and turned the spit

   over the fire. After hours of taking the long way around Oaken through these bug-infested woods, the rain had finally let up enough for them to have a much-needed fire. Fat dripped off the meat and sizzled in the flames. The sound reminded him of the black lion he’d roasted from the inside out.

  He fingered the scar on his arm. Flames had given that to him once.

  Fire never hurt him again, even if he flirted with it often.

  Flames.

  Dancing. Whirling. Always susceptible to the wind currents. He touched the tops of the fire. His hand grew hot. This time the fire seemed to lick at his fingers. Over, around, under. Never singeing. Strange.

  “Ryan.”

  He stopped. Jayden was staring at him from the other side of the fire.

  “You’re burning supper.” Ethan pulled the spit off the fire and blew on the flames spouting off the rabbits.

  “Sorry.”

  Jayden grabbed Ryan’s hand and turned it over, inspecting his fingers. They weren’t even blackened. She squinted and stared at him. “What were you doing?” she whispered.

  He shook his head. Then he looked right into her eyes and let his talent fill him. “A little daydreaming never hurt anyone.”

  She blinked and shook her head. “Right.” She dropped his hand. “I guess we should eat.”

  “If it’s even edible.” Ethan rolled his eyes.

  Logan chuckled. “Clearly you haven’t had any meat cooked by Gavin. You’re lucky.” He clasped Ryan’s shoulder. “Westwind says he’s not getting any more for you.”

  Ryan forced a laugh. He looked at his hand. Not even a blister. It was as if the fire hadn’t touched him.

  “Good. I don’t want the fire to be able to hurt me. It will make it so much harder for them to kill me.”

  Ryan squeezed his eyes shut. “Go away.”

  “I like it here. You suit my purpose better than I could have dreamed.”

  “Are you okay? You haven’t been acting yourself.” Jayden’s pretty blue eyes rounded.

  Maybe because his sister had just died. Why did everything have to remind him? “I’m fine. I just need to go wash off this soot.”

  “There’s nothing on you. Your skin isn’t even red. Are you sure you’re—”

  “I said I’m fine.” It came out louder than intended, and she shrank away from him.

  Ethan shot him a glare.

  That fanned Ryan’s temper.

  “Get angry.”

  He clenched his jaw. There would be no use getting angry now. Especially if whatever was inside his head wanted him to.

  “I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to go off alone,” Ethan said.

  “No?” Ryan rounded on his brother.

  “Look, Ryan, I’m just saying that—”

  “That I can’t take care of myself. I hear you loud and clear, Ethan. You’re the better swordsman. You’re the better woodsman. I belong in a smithy pounding things.”

  Ethan stood, held up his hands to calm Ryan down. “Stop getting all hotheaded.”

  “Oh, that’s nice coming from you.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “We were in a tavern all of three minutes, and you picked a fight with the innkeeper right as I was about to secure us a room. Probably a free one at that.”

  “Ryan.” Logan’s voice was a warning.

  He couldn’t stop. Didn’t want to. Everyone was likely comparing him to Ethan. The better brother. Better suited for Jayden. Better at protecting Chloe. Better at cooking the bloody dinner. He pointed a finger at Ethan. “The reason we’re out here in dangerous territory is your inability to keep your temper in check.”

  “So I should let you possibly endanger an innocent woman?”

  “Endanger? That’s you pulling out your sword every time someone looks at you funny. Are you trying to get us all killed?”

  Ethan pulled out his sword. Logan just stood there, said nothing. Right. So Ethan could just challenge Ryan whenever he wanted, but Ryan was chastised for what? Yelling.

  Ethan took a step closer. “My sword protects—”

  “Right. Just like it protected Kinsey.”

  Ethan grabbed Ryan’s shirt collar. “What’s gotten into you?” A fire lit his eyes and he pushed. Ryan’s back hit a tree.

  “Are you going to let him throw you around? Punch you?”

  Ryan shook. His fist connected with Ethan’s jaw.

  Ethan staggered back but kept hold of Ryan’s clothes.

  Ryan pushed Ethan with both hands, punched him again. They landed on the ground with a thud.

  “Stop it!” Chloe’s voice mingled with Jayden’s, and someone tried to pull Ryan back. He pounded his fist into Ethan’s face. Again. Again. Again.

  “Ryan!” Jayden screamed.

  Logan pried him off.

  Ethan lay on the ground, blood streaming from his nose. He propped himself up on both elbows and spit.

  Red on the soil.

  Red on his shirt.

  Ryan looked at his bloodied fist. No. Oh, no. No, no, no. He touched his forehead with his shaking hand. It spread blood. Ethan’s blood.

  Ethan hadn’t fought back.

  No. Ryan had imagined it. Ethan had been trying to calm him down.

  Ryan stared at his hands and scrambled to his feet. Chloe glared at him with incredulous eyes. Wet eyes. Jayden stared at him with her eyebrows pinched together. She didn’t understand. Of course she didn’t. Ethan had never punched him.

  Logan held out his hands. “Ryan, look at me.”

  He didn’t. He looked at Ethan and noticed his brother’s sword on the ground. Ethan had taken off his weapon. He’d never even pulled it out. Hadn’t threatened at all. Did he know Ryan was going to lose it? Why was everything so clear now? Why didn’t his memories match up? It was like two versions of the same story played in his head. Ethan had hit him first. Only his face didn’t sting. Ethan had never punched him.

  How was this happening?

  “You needed a push.”

  No. “I have to wash my h-hands.” Ryan’s own quaking voice surprised him.

  “Let him go.” Logan stopped Chloe from reaching for him.

  They thought he was a monster. Maybe he was. All he knew was he got to the bank of the lake, plunged his aching hands into the water, and watched the red stream off.

  After he’d gotten all the blood off, Ryan sat on the edge of the bank with his elbows on his knees and stared at the water. Watched the sun sink lower. Kiss the horizon. What had he done?

  With shaking hands, he reached into his pocket and pulled out the root.

  Footsteps on the loose gravel caught his attention, and he put the root back before he was able to use it. He didn’t turn. Logan wasn’t very like Ryan’s father, but he imagined a lecture was coming. He deserved it and worse.

  “Hey.” Ethan’s voice surprised him.

  Ryan buried his head in his hands, not wanting to look at his brother right now. Not wanting to see what he’d done to Ethan’s face.

  “I’m sorry about Kinsey.” Ethan’s words were nearly inaudible.

  Ryan wiped his hands over his face. “That’s not your fault.”

  “We both know it was.”

  Ryan stood and faced Ethan. He had some swelling to his nose, the skin under his right eye was dark as a forest river and it was nearly swollen shut. “Ethan, I’m”—he closed his eyes—“I’m the one who should be saying sorry.”

  “I felt the threat for her and you know it.”

  �
��And you did everything you could.”

  “I hesitated.”

  “So I’m supposed to hate you now? Blame you? Because I don’t. And I won’t. I said those things because—because I’m angry, but not at you. I’m angry at myself.”

  “For what? You didn’t do anything.”

  “Exactly. I didn’t do anything. I left you to die in the palace because I’m not good enough with a sword. I asked you to help Jayden because I was dying. I couldn’t even save my own sister because I was afraid that if I shot an arrow, I’d miss. I never miss. But with her head right there, by his . . .”

  “Ryan, that shot wasn’t—”

  “It was easier to blame you because I didn’t have to face the reality that I can’t take care of them.”

  Ethan was quiet for a while. He scuffed the rocks with his shoe. Picked one up and skipped it across the water. “You’ll learn. You’ll probably be better at it than I am.”

  “You can bet on it.” Ryan picked up a rock and skipped it, too.

  Another stone skittered across the water, leaving ripples. They stood there for a time, skipping rocks as darkness descended.

  Ethan put his hands in his pockets.

  Ryan threw another stone. “I am sorry about your face.”

  Ethan laughed. “You’re lucky I didn’t hit you back.”

  “No. You’re lucky. This face would have gotten us a free room if you hadn’t messed it up.”

  “Luck had nothing to do with it. I had to keep your best asset intact. You can’t charm your way into a free room with a black eye and a busted nose.”

  Ryan’s rock slipped from his hand and sank instead of skipped. “I broke your nose?”

  Ethan looked at Ryan askance and shrugged. “I heal fast.”

  Ryan chucked a rock this time. How could he have been so stupid? The damage was done. He’d told Ethan he blamed him for Kinsey’s death even though it wasn’t true, and that had to hurt worse than a busted nose.

  Maybe his talent could be used for good. If he could use it to make Ethan believe—

  “Yes. Use your talent.”

  He tossed another rock. It soared into the middle of the lake and landed with a massive splash for such a small stone.

  “Nice throw.”

  “Ethan, I don’t blame you. I said those things out of anger to hurt you, not because I believe them.”

  He nodded. “I know. You’ve already apologized, Ryan. Come on. The girls are probably waiting on a prickly bush wondering if I retaliated.”

  They turned to walk back together, but a soft, hissing laugh in Ryan’s head made him glance over his shoulder. The water bubbled and something made him shudder.

  “It’s awake.”

  Ryan’s step hitched and he nearly tripped. “What’s awake?”

  “You’ll find out soon enough. It smells your brother’s blood.”

  Chapter 29

  Breathtaking

  Persuasion

  Jayden breathed in the wet air. There was a lull in the rain, but not for long. The trees, the ground, everything still carried the residue of heavy rainfall. Gray sky still hovered above them, but Logan had told them to rest.

  Jayden dragged her satchel closer to Ethan. His right eye was still swollen shut. That cut above it looked awful. She grabbed water, a clean cloth, and some of her father’s ointment. “Rough day?” She smiled.

  A sad version of his boyish smile returned. Better than nothing.

  “Let me help.” She washed the cut and he winced. “You didn’t hit him back.”

  “I didn’t want to fuel it.”

  A lot of self-control for someone who had just pulled a sword on a complete stranger. She’d felt the hate then. When Ryan attacked him, she’d felt Ethan’s sadness, regret, and self-loathing, but no hate. So what had sparked him at the tavern? She spread the ointment across his cut. “Better?”

  He turned his head to look at her. “Thanks.”

  “Of course, but I should probably stitch it.”

  He nodded and she got out her supplies. He was much more compliant than the first time she’d met him. He’d had that awful rope burn around his neck from the soldiers. Oh. Her hands fell to her lap.

  “Everything okay?”

  “Yes. I just . . .” She started stitching the cut. “You said the woman had a scar on her neck. Like Logan’s?” Like Ethan would have if not for the Healer.

  Heat spread through her blood—from his anger. She had to get that under control.

  “Her scar was thin,” Ethan said. “But someone had used her marriage cord to—I don’t know, choke her? Either way, it left a scar. Who knows, maybe he used it as a leash.”

  “How awful.”

  “When I saw that scar, I—well, I lost it.” Now his regret lapped against her.

  She tied off the last stitch. “It’s understandable. I’m sorry that happened to you.”

  “Never again.” He clenched his jaw.

  She squeezed his shoulder and the tension left him. She hadn’t even realized that she’d tried to calm him until that moment.

  Everyone else was sleeping. She put away her supplies and looked at her bedroll. So far away from Ethan. She settled next to him. “Can I sit with you?”

  “Any time.” He smiled. “Are you okay?”

  A moment ago, she’d been terrible. A moment ago, she’d felt heavy with the weight of everyone’s emotions. The worry that Franco would find someone else she loved. That she wouldn’t be able to stop him in time. But now, when Ethan looked at her as if he could see into her soul, she felt that she didn’t need to bear the weight of everything alone. And that was a beautiful feeling.

  “I am now.” She caught herself staring at his hand. Wanting to hold it. She breathed deep. This was exactly why she should not be sitting so close to him.

  The weight of his head landed on her shoulder and she sighed. Yes. Right now, she was okay. But right now, with everyone sleeping, emotions weren’t seeping into her beyond her control. Ethan’s were the worst. They came unbidden and strong. She had to get this under control before his emotions pulled her under like a riptide she couldn’t escape. Children were always taught that their talents were blessings. Not hers. This feeling so much hurt, so much sorrow—she couldn’t handle the burden.

  A burden she had to control before it controlled her.

  Jayden rolled over and noticed the others still sleeping. Ethan, too. Good. She’d worried that he might not with the thunderstorm. Even while sleeping, he carried a sadness that choked her. She looked away from him and started to pack up her wet things.

  Tonight, if Logan got them as far as he wanted to, they’d be in Primo—one of two small towns just outside of Salea. The others began stirring.

  Westwind and Aurora approached her.

  She smiled at the wolves. “Morning. Come to escort us to the lake?”

  Westwind nodded, and she fell into step with him. Chloe and Aurora walked right behind.

  The more time Jayden spent with Westwind, the more she hoped to follow in her birth parents’ steps and bond to a wolf. But there was Melanie’s theory about the wooden tokens. That left her with a horse. Nothing wrong with that, but the other Deliverers would bond to magical animals. What would she gain from a horse? Speed, endurance, sensitivity—as if she didn’t already have enough of that—and a ferocious kick. Now that she could use.

  The rising sun showered everything in a soft, yellow glow. A fine mist rose off the water, parting near the shore. The whole place looked so perfect, almost magical.

  A beautiful gray mare stepped out of the mist. Its eyes were large and dark and soulful. Jayden expected to see a horn in the center of the horse’s head, but only wisps of deeper gray mane fell between the creature’s ears.

  “What’s your name, girl?”

  Jayden’s heart thundered. “Are you speaking?” she addressed the horse.

  The horse flipped her head. “Yes.”

  “Jayden,” she whispered, unable to summon anyt
hing louder.

  “Jayden.” The horse repeated her name like a melody. “What a pretty name. My name is Thunder.”

  The horse stepped farther away and swished her tail.

  “No. Don’t go.” Jayden put out her hand to try to beckon the enchanting horse to stop. “How can you talk to me?”

  This was it. This had to be her horse.

  “Does it surprise you?”

  “Yes, actually.” Jayden walked over to the animal and reached up to touch Thunder’s nose. She felt like silk. And at once, all the residual sadness that had clung to her for the past few days lifted. Her heart seemed buoyant. Light. Floating. If her horse could help her contain everything, she wouldn’t have to feel so much all the time. She could be free.

  Jayden nearly faltered as her surroundings swirled around her like a dreamscape. When—at last—all was right again, she was no longer at the misty lakeside, but in a sunny meadow. The grass in front of her was long, and Thunder stood in the center of the field and frisked, buoyantly beckoning Jayden to follow her.

  Grass slapped against Jayden’s thighs as she waded through, but the grass weighed her down. It pulled against her clothes and made her legs feel as if they were dragging.

  Thunder stood right in front of her now. She was so dazzling, so sublime, she took Jayden’s breath away.

  Jayden wanted to speak, but she couldn’t. Everything felt heavier. Deeper. Darker.

  Thunder reached out to comfort her, and the mare’s soft nose was unbelievably smooth against Jayden’s skin. Long streams of velvet began to encompass her, lifting the weight from her feet. Yes, that’s what she needed. She let the silken strands overtake her.

  Ethan stared at the red glow beneath the white dust-covered wood. His face still throbbed, but at least he could see out of both eyes today. He separated the fire-chewed timber with a stick. Something was wrong with Ryan, and it was more than Kinsey’s death.

  Heat flared across his chest. He stood and put his hand on the hilt of his sword.

  “What’s wrong?” Logan grabbed his knife.

  Ryan stood.

  “It’s Jayden and Chloe. Something is trying to—to kill Chloe and steal Jayden.”