Rock & Regrets

by Cassandra Lawson

  My dream, for as long as I could remember, had been to be a rock star. While other kids in preschool were pretending to be firefighters or astronauts, I’d been putting on my own concerts. Back then, I’d seen myself as lead singer material. My mom thought my concerts were cute, so she’d bought me a toy drum set, and the rest is history. I fell in love with the drums and eventually realized I’m not much of a singer.

  Now that I was living my dream, it seemed unreal at times. I could still go to the grocery store without being mobbed, and I didn’t need to bring security with me everywhere, but I was often recognized. We had more security when we played shows, and there was talk of us hiring even more in the near future. The fans who came up to me at the gym didn’t bother me, but the ones who gawked at me while I exercised made me uncomfortable. If I was on the treadmill, I started to worry I’d miss a step and slide off the end.

  That’s how I’d ended up running by the lake. Piper hadn’t called or texted me. I knew it was likely she wouldn’t, but I could be patient. At least, I hoped I could be patient.

  I was near the end of my run when I saw her. She was jogging my way, and when she saw me, she stumbled and nearly fell. I rushed toward her.

  “Are you okay?” I asked.

  “Fine,” she replied quickly. “I just lost my footing. How can you run like that?”

  I looked down at my attire. It was winter, so I was fairly well covered in sweatpants and a tank top. I always got too hot to wear a sweatshirt.

  I gestured to her black and pink running tights and hoodie. “You aren’t wearing that much more than I am.”

  “I’m not making women spontaneously ovulate,” she argued.

  A startled bark of laughter escaped my lips. “Spontaneously ovulate? Did you spontaneously ovulate?”

  “I meant women who don’t know you,” she explained.

  “Ouch!” I cringed. “You are brutal, Button.”

  “Poor Austin,” she teased. “Did I hurt your fragile ego?”

  “A little,” I admitted. “It seems you have a way of doing that. Can I ask you a question?”

  “Sure,” she replied hesitantly.

  “Were you planning to call me?” I asked. “Or is this run-in making you uncomfortable?”

  “Yes,” she replied.

  “Yes, to which question?” I asked.

  “This run-in is making me a little uncomfortable,” she admitted. “And yes, I’ve been thinking about calling you. It might be good for us to try being friends so things aren’t as awkward with our mutual friends.”

  Not the reason I was hoping for, but I’d take what I could get. “Do you want to meet for dinner later?”

  “I’m working tonight,” she replied.

  “Lunch?” I asked. It was nearly noon, but I figured there was still time to grab lunch before she had to be at the club.

  “I’m having lunch with my mom,” was her soft reply.

  This was a bad time to settle into an uncomfortable silence. If that happened, Piper would leave. The subject of Piper’s mom didn’t come up often in my family. My mom still lamented losing her contract with Piper’s dad after his wife’s affair with my father, but my mom never mentioned the affair. It was far from my dad’s first, but it was the affair my mom had been unable to ignore.

  “Tomorrow?” I asked, deciding to avoid talking about Piper’s mom.

  “What happened to you not pushing me?” she asked.

  “I’m a spoiled rich boy,” I reminded her. “We aren’t known for our patience.”

  My response had the desired effect of making her laugh.

  “So, lunch tomorrow?” I pushed.

  “I’m not ready to say yes,” was her response.

  Her answer made me grin.

  “Why are you smiling?” she asked.

  “You didn’t say you aren’t sure you’ll say yes,” I explained. “You just said you aren’t ready to say yes. Why don’t you call me when you’re ready to say yes to lunch tomorrow?”

  “Don’t read too much into this,” she warned.

  “I’ll let you finish your run. I have practice in the morning, so I can pick you up around one.” Ignoring her insults, I walked the rest of the way to my car. She was going to say yes.

  Chapter 8

  Piper

  I felt guilty about how little I’d seen of my parents recently. We were close. Granted, my relationship with my mom had been strained after her affair. We’d both had to work toward repairing the damage between us. I’d also needed to grow up a lot.

  Before the affair, I’d had some romantic illusion of my parents’ marriage. In it, they’d been madly in love when my mom got pregnant with me at sixteen. I’d seen their marriage as being the stuff romance novels were made of.

  There was no denying my parents loved each other, but they’d drifted apart through the years. Being parents and struggling to build my dad’s company had left them with little time for each other. Neither had known how to bridge the gap that had developed between them. When I’d gone to confront my mom about the affair, she’d already told my dad. They’d been fighting when I’d gotten home.

  While my parents might have lost the passion in their relationship over the years, they’d still had a strong friendship. With that kind of love, they’d been able to move past what had happened, and even fall in love with each other again. My parents now reminded me that love wasn’t like a romance novel; it was hard work.

  “Piper!” my mom called out as I made my way into the hole in the wall diner we’d been going to since I was a little girl.

  “Hi, Mom!”

  She immediately stood to hug me. “I’ve missed you so much,” she said as she squeezed tighter.

  “I’ve missed you, too, Mom. It’s too bad Dad couldn’t make it.”

  “He really wanted to be here, but the new business manager he hired made a mess of things while we were on vacation,” she explained.

  “Is he trying to talk you into taking the job again?” I asked. My mom had filled that role for many years.

  “No,” she replied. “He knows I love teaching too much to quit.”

  “How was your vacation?” I asked. My parents had just returned from a ten-day cruise that coincided with winter break.

  “Amazing!” my mom replied. “All we did was eat and relax the entire time. I feel like a new woman. Your dad thinks we should go to Hawaii next summer, but we’ll have to see if it’s in the budget. He’s not taking on nearly as many clients as he used to.”

  “Dad needs to hire more people to work under him.” I had told my dad the same thing on many occasions.

  “I agree, but your dad’s never been good at delegating,” she reminded me.

  Our waitress came to take our orders. I’d run earlier so I could justify my BLT to Cerise. That woman was unforgiving when it came to bacon.

  “How was your opening night?” my mom asked. “I heard Austin’s band played. How is he doing?”

  My mom didn’t know about what had happened with Austin. She didn’t even know that I’d heard about her affair before she and my dad sat me down to talk about why they were separating while they tried to fix their marriage. I preferred to keep it that way.

  “The opening was great,” I replied. “Reckless Release put on a good show. The audience loved them.”

  “Do you still have a crush on Austin?” she asked.

  I quite literally spit water across the table. My mom looked down at her sweater and then back up at me. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

  “No,” I replied. “I do not have a crush on Austin. Yes, I thought he was cute when we were kids, but I’ve grown up. He’s grown up.” Putting images of grown up Austin in my mind wasn’t helping me remember why I had no interest in getting involved with him as anything more than friends.

  “Did he ask you out?” my mom asked.

  I stared at my mom as if she’d lost her mind. “Why would he ask me out?”

  “You’ve grown up a lot since he l
ast saw you,” she pointed out. “Austin always liked you. I figured that when he saw you again, he’d ask you out.”

  My mom still read those romance novels where true love triumphs. Apparently, we hadn’t learned the same lesson from her affair. I’d complain, but I loved that about my mom. She was still a hopeless romantic after everything that had happened.

  She looked so disappointed, I had to give her something. “He wants to get together as friends.”

  My mom smiled and said, “I see.”

  “What do you see?” I asked cautiously.

  “Friendship is a good place to start,” she replied.

  “Start what?” I decided it was best if my mom didn’t answer that question. “Never mind. I know you think I’m going to date Austin, and we’ll fall in love and give you grandchildren.”

  “After you travel the world with his band,” she added. Yep, she had this all planned out.

  “It’s not going to happen,” I told her.

  “Did something else happen with Austin?” my mom asked hesitantly.

  “At the club?” I asked.

  She shook her head. “When you were sixteen. You went from worshipping the ground he walked on to not wanting to hear his name.”

  “I never worshipped the ground he walked on,” I argued. “As for me not wanting to talk about him, Dad quit working for his family, so I wasn’t going to see him again.”

  My mom shook her head, looking down at her cup of coffee before responding. “Back then, I was caught up in everything going on in my own life. I wasn’t there for you the way I should have been.” Her eyes met mine, and she reached out to give my hand a squeeze. “What happened with Austin?”

  “I don’t want to talk about what happened,” I said on a sigh. “It’s in the past. I was a kid, so none of it matters now.”

  My mom hesitated. She clearly didn’t like my answer, but she finally nodded. “If you ever want to talk about it, I’m here for you. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you back then. That wasn’t my finest moment as a mother or a wife.”

  “It’s okay, Mom.” Other than that short time in my teen years, my mom had always put my needs ahead of her own. “I promise I’ll tell you if I need to talk.”

  She nodded. “Tell me all about opening night at your club.”

  I could have kissed my mom for giving me a change of subject.

  Chapter 9

  Austin

  One week.

  That’s how long I’d been waiting for Piper to call. I’d been too cocky after running into her. When she’d said she wasn’t ready to say yes, I’d basically taunted her about her word-choice, insisting she was going to call me.

  I was sitting with Xander in an all-night diner while I tuned out his complaints about the waffles. It was two in the morning, and while other bands were partying their asses off, I was out with my insomniac, breakfast-loving bandmate.

  “The waitress is going to spit in our coffee if you don’t shut up,” I warned Xander.

  He took a sip of his coffee and sighed. “This is damn fine coffee. I guess I’d better stop talking about these wannabe-waffles. Have you heard from Piper yet?”

  I should have let him continue complaining about the waffles. “I ran into her last Sunday when I was out for a run.”

  “That’s it?” he asked.

  “That’s it,” I muttered. “I asked her about grabbing lunch, and I was sure she’d call me, but she hasn’t yet.”

  “That sucks,” Xander said before asking, “What’s your next move?”

  “I’ve been thinking I should start hanging out at Euphoria,” I replied. “I won’t harass her or anything like that, but if she sees me on a regular basis, it will be harder to ignore me.”

  Xander hesitated before responding. “That seems like a very bad idea.”

  “Why?” I asked.

  “Your history with Piper suggests you’ll do something stupid,” he pointed out. “Don’t do something stupid at her place of employment. Save that for a more private setting.”

  I’d been on my best behavior at Euphoria, but I understood why my friend might doubt my ability to behave.

  “I look like a pussy sitting around here waiting for Piper to call me,” I pointed out.

  “Pretty much,” he agreed. “I’m surprised you’re trying to act like Mr. Nice Guy.”

  “It’s not an act,” I argued. “I am a nice guy.”

  “Not that nice,” he insisted. “Still, I don’t think you should fuck with this girl at work. Mercy will remove your balls if you mess with Euphoria.”

  I cringed at the thought. He was right about how Mercy would react if I messed with her new club. I didn’t want to cause any problems for Piper at her job. I was impressed with all she’d accomplished. Her success shouldn’t come as a surprise. She was her father’s daughter. I’d always called him our gardener, and he’d never corrected me. Piper had. She’d carefully explained that what her father did went far beyond gardening. I still didn’t get it, but I knew not everyone could afford her father’s services and that he was in high demand.

  “Are you zoning out on me again?” Xander asked.

  “A little,” I admitted. “We should probably call it a night, or morning.”

  My phone buzzed before Xander could respond. “Let me get this.” I didn’t recognize the number, but I figured it could be an emergency at this hour.

  “Hello,” I answered.

  “Hey, Austin. It’s Piper.” At the sound of her voice, my dick instantly started to stir.

  “Hey,” I replied. “What are you doing up so late?”

  “I work at a club,” she reminded me. “It’s not that late.”

  “I figured you’d be done closing up by now.” It was one of the nights the club closed at midnight.

  “I got caught up with some paperwork,” she replied. “Did I wake you?”

  “No, I was already up,” I assured her. “I’m glad you called. Does this mean you want to meet up?”

  “I was actually hoping you could drive me home,” she replied hesitantly. “I know it’s a lot to ask at this hour, but Cerise and Andy need to be at work early and my parents would freak out if they knew I’d stayed at Euphoria alone.”

  “You’re alone at the club?” I asked, my own temper rising.

  “Like I said, I got caught up with paperwork,” she replied. “Technically, I’m outside Euphoria. I walked to my car, only to discover that some asshole had slashed two of my tires. I’d rather not call a cab this late.”

  “Give me twenty minutes to get there,” I told her. “Go back inside and wait for me.”

  “Thanks, Austin,” she said before ending the call.

  I found Xander grinning at me. “You look pissed.” He sounded delighted by my anger.

  “Damn woman is trying to get herself killed by wandering around at this hour,” I muttered. “She stayed at Euphoria alone.”

  “It’s not that bad of a neighborhood,” Xander pointed out.

  “It’s bad enough that someone slashed her tires. I need to pick her up.” I dropped money on the table and headed toward the door with Xander by my side.

  “You better get that temper of yours under control before you get there,” Xander warned. “Don’t forget that you’re trying to be a nice guy.”

  “Right,” I agreed. “I won’t spank her ass for putting herself in danger. I can do this.”

  Xander chuckled. “I doubt it. Can I come watch Piper slap you when you threaten to spank her again?”

  “No!” I snapped. “I am not going to threaten to spank her.”

  “Something tells me it’s going to be a real struggle not to,” he mused.

  I could do this. Nice guy. I was a nice guy.

  Chapter 10

  Piper

  I’d spent nearly ten minutes debating whether I should call Austin to pick me up. I hadn’t mentioned the entire list of people I’d gone through before settling on calling him. By that point, I’d already decided to giv
e Austin a chance to be my friend, but I hadn’t gotten around to telling him. Each time I tried to script the conversation in my mind, it seemed too contrived.

  I felt bad about only calling because I needed a favor, but not bad enough that I hadn’t called. Austin was the one trying to prove he wasn’t a dick. He could prove it by driving me home.

  My phone buzzed, and I answered Austin’s call.

  “Hello,” I said, trying not to sound too tired.

  “I’m coming up to the front door,” was all he said. No greeting.

  “I could have walked out to the car,” I told him as I made my way from the office, turning off the remaining lights.

  “No need to walk out alone. I’m at the door now,” was his reply.

  Austin didn’t sound like he was in a very good mood. I wondered if he’d lied about being awake when I’d called. He might be annoyed because he’d been on a date. That last thought made me cringe. I had no right to that reaction. Austin could be the rebound guy for any woman he wanted. It was none of my business. I certainly didn’t want to date him.

  When I opened the door, I found Austin standing there in jeans and a gray sweatshirt with the hood up. His scowl stood out in the dim streetlights.

  “Sorry about making you come out here at this hour,” I said by way of greeting.

  “You should be sorry about not calling me when you realized you had no one to walk you to your car,” he snapped.

  His attitude pissed me off. I knew it wasn’t smart to walk out to my car alone, but I was careful. “So, I shouldn’t be wandering around alone because I’m a defenseless woman?”

  “You may not like it, Button, but a woman on her own is more likely to be attacked.” Before I could respond, he continued. “With that being said, I don’t wander around alone at night. When I left the diner, I walked to my car with Xander before dropping him at his car. It’s smart to avoid making yourself a target.”

  “You’re right.” Being lectured by Austin grated on my nerves, but he wasn’t telling me anything I didn’t already know. Mercy would likely give me the same lecture. At least, one bouncer was supposed to stay until I was ready to leave. Those were the rules for every closing manager.