With a shrug Garrett responds, “I made arrangements for a student worker to be available for you to move in early. I wanted you to have time to get settled before the other students overwhelmed you.”
Zara cannot disguise from Garrett the horror recalling Beth’s comments earlier suggesting she was entitled by wealth for early access. Raised to never question or react, Zara suddenly finds herself completely off balance. Needing to be away from him to find her center and yet drawn to be near him, Zara feels she is losing her ability to mask her emotions.
The rest of their walk is done in relative silence. Garrett points out landmarks while Zara listens, but cannot stop thinking about the special arrangements Garrett has made for her comfort. Her years of training are no match for the break in the mental wall that is occurring.
Arriving back at the Jeep, Zara looks up toward her room to see if it is as visible to Garrett as he was to her. She finds it is and that pushes her further off kilter. For the first time since leaving the Circle, Zara feels a desperate need to be alone with her thoughts.
“Little One, your face is giving you away. Would you like to go to dinner and talk?”
“Thank you for walking with me. I need to get settled in as you mentioned the arrival of all the other students will be overwhelming. It would be better for me to return to my room.” Zara plasters a smile on her face that she hopes radiates happiness and contentment.
“Very well. A student employee will be staying in the building tonight so you’ll have someone available if you need anything. Dinner has been arranged. I will take you to breakfast in the morning. Please be in front of the dorm at 9:30.
“Now, get going. I will wait here until I see your light in the window.” The lightness in Garrett’s voice was unmistakable.
“Thank you.” Zara says. Garrett tilts his head and stares into her eyes with concern as she continues. “Thank you for giving me this opportunity. I do not know how to express how thankful I really am.”
Emotions held too long at bay are beginning to take over. Turning, Zara walks quickly toward the entrance of her new home. Just before turning the corner, she hears Garrett say, “Goodnight, Zara. You’re welcome.”
Chapter 9
Safely inside, and knowing Garrett is outside, Zara moves the curtains to the side allowing him a glimpse of her arrival. Quickly closing the curtains, Zara collapses on her bed, everything about the last several days overwhelming. A lifetime of training for the Circle Ceremony had not prepared her for this loneliness. In the past, Fredrik would have bound into her room to push her worry away. Zara pictured how he looked at her before she got out of the car the morning of the Ceremony.
He was smiling. Exuberantly, happy she was exiting his life to embark on a new journey and start a different life, a life away from a dominating father. Zara had felt so angry seeing his joy and knowing the opportunities as a new submissive to visit your family for the first few years was nonexistent. Traditions within the Community were hard to change and Zara knew that she did not have what it took to change them. Ironically, she grew up not knowing if she had what it took to live a life as was dictated by the King Council.
Zara had spent hours questioning Sloane why she thought things were the way they were. The history of the Council was not normally exposed to younger members. Sloane never questioned the traditions. She just expressed relief that her future had already been charted out. Romantic to her core, Sloane was confident whomever her father and the Council chose for her would be her soul mate.
Suddenly remembering her promise to call, Zara reaches for her phone. Sloane picks up on the second ring and Zara hears the happiness in her best friend’s standard perky greeting.
“Hello… Hello… Hello.”
“Hello.”
“And whom do I have the pleasure of speaking with this evening?”
Smiling at the warm familiarity, Zara removes her shoes and crawls under the soft white covers of her bed. Closing her eyes, she transports herself to Sloane’s comfortable bed.
“Still just Zara.”
“Are you alright? Seriously, are you okay?”
“Yes. I am alright.” Swallowing hard, Zara does her best to keep her voice even. The last thing she wants is to make her best friend worry. With so much distance between them, as well as the distance Zara imagines being placed between them by the Council, there is nothing Sloane would be able to do to help.
“You are trying too hard. I already know that you are not doing okay. Please do not underestimate how well I know you Ms. Zara Faith Evans. Talk to me. Tell me everything and the nothings, too.”
Over the next several hours, Zara takes Sloane through the entire story of how she came to be lying in a dorm room alone. Listening closely, Sloane would chime in with a well-placed question, typically, for clarification on a point. Her questions all revolved around Garrett and if Zara had been paying attention, she would have realized that Sloane was leading her to a particular point with the line of questions.
Exhausted with telling her story, Zara needs answers to her questions. Carefully thinking of what is truly important and what she is willing to do without knowing, Zara dives in headfirst.
“Sloane, how is Fredrik? I never got to say goodbye.”
Sighing, Sloane is quiet for a moment. Knowing Sloane like a sister, Zara waits for her to determine how to best respond in a way that will make it seem like everything is going to be okay.
“Zara, your father was embarrassed. Your mother’s expression never changed. The Kings left first and were all muttering to themselves. Your father led your mother out. When I was walking out of the hall, I saw your father arguing with your Dom’s family.
“Wait. Not your Dom. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to call him. We left immediately after that and I could not get anyone to tell me what had happened. Zar, I was so scared.”
“I know. I am so sorry. I contacted you the moment I was able. What about Fredrik? Have you spoken to him? Is he alright? Did you tell him I was alright?”
“Zar, I have not been able to get in contact with him. I started texting him and calling the minute I left the ceremony to see if he knew what was going on and where you were. I went over to your house, Zara. They are gone.”
“Gone? What does that mean? Gone? Did you ask my mother? What is gone?”
“Zara, I have been over there every day. I have called Fredrik’s number and the house phone. I have tried different times of day. I even went to your father’s place of work.”
Zara gasps, alarmed that Sloane would go to see her father at work. He is very private and from the earliest time she could remember, she was told that when father is at work, he was unreachable.
Her father was good provider for the family. They lived in a beautiful home and both of her parents drove top of the line cars. Zara and her brother were home-schooled and she didn’t know other kids to draw comparisons of their home life, but she always felt like she had what was needed.
As a member of the King Council, her father was proper in every aspect of his life. Often, he would comment that it was up to him and the family to be examples for the Community. All rules set by the King Council were to be followed. This meant complete obedience for Zara and her mother.
Fredrik was the bright light in Zara’s home life. Being only 18 months apart, they were friends as well as siblings. Zara would ask Fredrik to sneak into her room when she was on punishment. Or “in training”, as her mother referred to it.
Zara would light up when Fredrik was around. King Council by-laws were law in their house and he was the only one she could confide in about her real dreams and fears. Fredrik had a few years yet but eventually he would be heading toward the ceremonial circle to collar a submissive of his own and join his father on the King Council. As the Dom, he would be privy to the selection process and be able to contribute feedback on the pool of applicants. Like Zara, the potential submissive would have no knowledge of who their future Dom would be. This was al
ways bothersome for Zara, as the Council and her father expected this to be a legal marriage to the outside world.
The night her mother came to her room to inform her that she had been paired, Zara rebelled. She screamed at her mother that she was being sold to the highest bidder and that there was no way her mother could love her if she would allow this to happen.
Sitting, rock still, her mother waited for her to finish and then calmly continued going over the details; the date and events of the ceremony were already known by all. Tradition dictated it was to be her eighteenth birthday. The first night of being an adult she would be given to a stranger to begin her new life.
With tears rolling down her cheeks, Zara fell to the feet of her mother and asked her why. For one moment, the schooled expression slipped and Zara was granted the opportunity to see the immense hurt in her mother’s eyes.
In a blink of an eye, the well-trained sub slipped the mask of control back into place and stared at her hands resting gently in her lap. That had been the last time Zara ever questioned her mother on the traditions of their Community.
That was five months before her eighteenth birthday and what little relationship Zara had with her mother grew more distant after that night. By the day of the Ceremony, the two of them only spoke about traditions and exceptions.
Silent tears fall onto the pillow as she remembers that night. Zara had never shared that conversation with Sloane. When she had told Fredrik, they had both cried. It was one of only two times she had seen him get emotional. To be honest, Zara did not know if he was crying for her or his mother’s pain.
“Zara, are you still there?”
“Mmhm,” she snapped back to the conversation with Sloane. “I am here.”
“Sweet girl, I know your family is fine. I am sure they went on vacation that night. You know it is common for the Dom’s family to send the family away to give everyone time to adjust to the transfer.”
“Sloane! Transfer?! We are not property. How is this still happening? How can you be alright with this entire process?”
“It sounds to me like you already have feelings for your would-be Dom. You talked about him for three hours. His hair, the way he smells, even the fact that you miss his touch when he removes his hand from yours. Yet, you ask me how I can believe in the process that paired the two of you together?
Her tone switched to admonishment, “Seriously, Zara. It was a really selfish decision not to go through with the ceremony. Everyone is talking about you. It is our role to carry on the traditions and ensure that the Community grows and stays secure. How could you not want to do your part?”
There is no mistaking the anger elevating Sloane’s voice. Zara blinks away the tears falling from her eyes. Silence overcomes them and they sit listening to the other breathe. Sloane finally breaks the silence.
“Listen, I am glad you are safe. I am also glad that you are getting to follow your dreams and go to school. Your family is fine. Mother told me tonight I have been paired and will have a lot to do in preparation for my Ceremony.
“I think it would be better if we did not talk for a while. My parents are not going to allow you to attend my Circle Ceremony because you have fallen out of the good graces of the Council. I was not going to tell you tonight but we may as well get it all out now.
“I love you. I always will, but I believe in our traditions and I am looking forward to having my collar placed around my neck. I am sorry you do not feel the same way. I have to go. Enjoy college, Zara.”
The phone clicks in Zara’s ear. She slowly brings the phone to her lap. Sloane is gone. Pressing a fist against her lips, heavy sobs escape as Zara’s anguish at losing her best friend a second time in so few days, as a result of following her own dreams.
Her best friend. Her family. Her Community. Zara closes her eyes and works to still her mind. She focuses on the sounds of the waves rolling over the shore at the beach house, the smell of wet sand under her bare feet and the warmth of the sun on her shoulders. Taking deep breaths, Zara replaces the thoughts causing her such pain with a moment in time that is hers and hers alone.
The rhythmic sounds in her mind send Zara into a fitful sleep, the last thought of Garrett, and the wonder at how a short amount of time together was all she needed to feel a sense of belonging that she had not expected.
Zara wakes a few hours later, confused by her surroundings. Gathering her thoughts, she rises and opens the door to her bathroom. No longer surprised to find her favorite color or supplies, she steps onto a plush pink floor mat and opened the new toothbrush. Grabbing toothpaste and dental floss from under the sink, Zara brushes her teeth.
Exploring her dorm room, she pushes the bead curtain strands aside to see what is hiding inside. Discovering a silver half-circle loop on the side of the closet, she tucks the beads in the loop.
Zar. Look at all of that. Everything is so perfectly perfect.
Zara steps back, struck by the organization. Shoes, boots, blouses, sweaters, sweatshirts, sweatpants, shirts, and dresses fill the space. Overwhelmed, Zara goes to the dresser and opens a drawer at the bottom. Sleep clothes… just like at the beach house. Pulling out her all-time favorite pink tee, matching sleep pants and a pair of fuzzy pink socks, she begins to change.
Lifting her shirt over her head, she is astonished by a knock at her door. A muffled voice announces, “Hey. I have your dinner. Your Highness.”
Surprised into stillness, it takes the person pounding on her door to pull Zara from her trance. She opens the door. In the hall stands Beth, from the front desk. She looks even more annoyed than she had earlier.
“Apparently, I am your personal delivery person now.” Handing Zara two large handle bags, Beth turns and walks back down the hall. Not given a chance to respond, Zara says thank you in a voice that would not have been heard if Beth had been standing beside her.
“Whatever,” Beth snapped back with a wave over her head.
Zara peers into the two bags and retreats back into her room, closing the door and placing the bags next to the flowers on the desk. Not wanting to eat but knowing there is a good chance Garrett will inquire about her dinner, she opens a bag. Inside are salad, bread, and dessert in Styrofoam packages. The second bag has two heavier containers of chicken parmesan and lasagna. Zara loves Italian but even on a good day, she would not be able to finish the food and this had not been a good day.
Zara takes out the chicken parmesan, adds bread to it and puts a bit of salad on the lid of the container. Re-bagging the rest, she grabs her key and takes the excess food with her. Thinking that her mother would be appalled that she was leaving her room looking this unkempt, she forces the thought away and heads to the lobby.
Sitting behind the desk reading a book, Beth doesn’t look up when Zara approaches. Setting the bags down on the counter, Zara turns and walks away, tossing over her shoulder. “I cannot finish all the food so you can have it if you would like.”
Already to the opening of her hallway before Beth responds, she hears a quick thank you. Waving her hand above her head, a smile on her face, Zara mimics Beth. “Whatever.”
HA! You were not expecting a bit of kindness were you, Miss. Beth.
Unlocking the door to her room, the scent of warm Italian makes her stomach growl. Zara is ready to eat her first meal as a college student. Zara opens the mini fridge for the first time, knowing what she will find before the door is open. She pulls out a can of Arnold Palmer, and then sits at her desk, silently eating the best Italian she had ever had.
Picking up her phone, Zara locates Garrett’s name and sends him a text.
Thank you for dinner. It was too much but delicious.
A moment later she receives a reply.
Glad you liked it. Everything okay?
She quickly taps back.
Yes, thank you.
Another immediate reply.
Little One, what is going on in that head of yours?
Ruefully, Zara sends another message. She di
d not mean to make him worry.
Everything is good. I am sorry to have bothered you. Good night.
The phone rings. Knowing it has to be Garrett, Zara smiles and answers it, but before she says hello, he says, “Zara Faith. You can’t be a bother. I am at dinner at the moment but I can be at the dorm in about 30 minutes.”
In the background, Zara hears the clink of silver and a woman’s voice, “Garrett, I need to make a call. I will be right back.”
The smile slides off Zara’s face.
Ummmm… who is that?
“Okay. Sorry, Zara. As I was saying, I am just finishing up dinner and I can be at the dorm in 30 minutes.”
Wondering what she interrupted, Zara shakes her head. “Little One, I cannot hear you when you nod. Talk to me, please.”
“Everything is fine. I am fine. The room is perfect. I will talk to you later.” The volume of her responses decreases with each sentence, the last is barely audible.
“I will be out front at 9:30 for breakfast. Get some sleep.”
“Ok.” She whispers.
The phone disconnects. Holding it in her hand for a while, Zara wills Garrett to call her back. When the phone doesn’t ring, she places it on the desk with her daisies.
What have I done?
Crawling under the covers of her new comfortable bed, Zara finds her pendant and encases it in her hand, closes her eyes and searches for something to focus on, but the sound of the woman saying Garrett’s name keeps playing in her mind.
Feeling alone in every way she considers the choice that brought her to this point. Her reality would be dramatically different had she declined Garrett’s offer and he placed the collar around her neck. He wanted her to choose this. And if he wanted this, then the only conclusion Zara could ascertain was that Garrett did not want her as his submissive. Garrett did not want to marry her.
Chapter 10
Waking to a pounding at the door, Zara jumps out of bed and flies across the room to open the door. Wondering if she is late for breakfast with Garrett, she is surprised to find Beth standing in front of her. The smell of coffee trumps asking what Beth is doing at her door.
Before Him Comes Me Page 8
