I worried when I couldn’t get a hold of you. When you walked up smiling and laughing, my worry came out as anger. I behaved badly. Can you please forgive me?”
Zara nodded. Not sure yet if she going to be punished, she remains silent as Garrett continues.
“Little One, if anything happens to you, I would never forgive myself. Does that make sense? When you have your phone you’re two buttons from all the help that you could possibly need. Without your phone, you’re helpless if something happens to you.”
“I am very sorry. I will never go anywhere without my phone again. I promise. I have learned my lesson,” she whispers.
“Zara.” The exasperation in Garrett’s voice unsettles Zara leaving her feeling as if she steps from one landmine to another.
“Just be more careful to keeping the phone with you. Please.” He hangs up.
Zara watches Garrett pull out of the parking spot and drive away, panicking at the thought that the only person who knows her has left in anger.
Zara remains in the window for a long time, watching for Garrett to return and make her feel safe. Waiting at the window, Zara is reminded of how alone she is in her new home. Garrett has brought her here, but he has also left her here.
The light of the day fades away as Zara stands waiting in the darkening dorm room. Hearing a soft knock at the door, she knows it is not Garrett and does not move to answer it. After a minute, the knocking stops.
An hour later, still standing in the window, Zara has replayed every word that she and Garrett had exchanged that day. She had disobeyed his one request. He had given her so much, asking for only one thing in return and Zara had failed him.
Zara collapses onto her bed crushing her phone in her hand. Fully dressed, no desire to eat or drink, tears accompany her exhaustion into sleep.
Jolted awake at the sound of an incoming text, Zara releases the grip on the phone and reads the message.
“I hope you’re okay. I’m not angry with you. I was very worried.”
Zara sits straight up and turns on the reading lamp beside her bed. Her fingers fly over the keyboard to pull up his number and hit the call button.
Hearing Garrett answer, Zara begins, “I am so sorry. I was forgetful and made you worry. It will never happen again. I promise.”
“You had bags. You shopped.” Zara nodded. “Little One, you understand that I can’t hear you when you nod over the phone. Can I see what you purchased or are you too tired?”
“Outside? Are you here?” She turns off the lamp and jumps out of bed to open the curtain. The streetlight illuminates the empty parking spot.
“No, Little One, I’m in bed at my house.”
“Alone?” Zara slaps a hand over her mouth the second the word slips out. Closing her eyes and holding breath, Zara waits for Garrett’s response to her inappropriate question.
After a moment, she realizes he is laughing. “Yes, Zara, I’m alone in my bed at home. I’m not in the habit of having women in my bed. I definitely wouldn’t have someone in my bed while I was speaking to you.”
Smiling, Zara walks to the other side of the room and flips on the light switch next to the door. The sudden brightness of the room makes her squint and shield her eyes.
“I thought we could Skype.” Zara nods as she takes her laptop off her desk and climbs onto her bed.
“I would like that very much,” Zara responds realizing the silence is from her lack of response.
Booting her computer and opening Skype, Zara’s computer rings immediately with an incoming video chat.
“Hanging up now.” The phone clicks and Zara lays it on the bed next to her.
The video window reveals reclining in bed with his arm behind his head. Seconds pass in silence, both looking at one another thinking their own thoughts. Seeing him without a shirt, Zara blushes at the intimacy.
“Little One, did you get dressed again to Skype me?” Zara shakes her head. “Please take a few minutes and change into your comfy clothes. Turn the laptop toward the wall.”
Hopping off the bed, Zara pulled the dress over her head that she had worn out shopping earlier. Running to the bathroom, she grabs the sleep clothes from last night and throws them on.
Zara rushes back to the bed to get comfortable against the headboard. Placing a pillow on her lap and the computer on top, she is ready to talk.
“Okay. What did you buy?”
Holding her finger up and smiling, she puts the laptop back on the bed and grabs the bags from where she had dropped them.
Over the next thirty minutes, Zara shares the exciting details of her day and displays two purses, a pink Michigan State sweatshirt, and a pair of yoga pants. The pants have Spartans across the butt and Garrett requested Zara wear them the next time they hang out. She rushes on telling him about the music she heard in the dorm.
“I saw something while I was shopping and I will understand if you would prefer that I return it.”
“Zara, I told you that you could purchase whatever you wanted. If you wanted to buy a car, I would hope that you would allow me to go with you and assist you in getting the best deal, but that is your choice.”
Zara just stares at Garrett in the video. She would never spend that kind of money. There was a part of her that hesitated to spend the money that she had today. Seeing Garrett’s excitement about each item helped to relieve her nervousness.
“No. It is not a major purchase. I purchased this for you.” Zara lifts the Hozier CD up to show him. There was a silence. Zara looks from the CD back to Garrett and back to the CD. Disappointed, she tells him that she will take it back in the morning.
“Hell no, you will not return my present. I love it. The computer froze. Hold it up again. Please.”
Happy that he is pleased with all of her purchases and seems to like his surprise, Zara sinks into the bed a bit further. “Little One, move your purchases off your bed. I will wait. I want to be able to tuck you in. Smiling back at him, Zara nods and does as she is told.
Turning off the overhead light and turning the reading light on, she crawls under the covers this time. Taking the laptop off the pillow and placing it next to her, Zara gets cozy in her bed.
“Thank you.” In a moment of panic, Zara runs her hands over the covers until she finds the phone. Holding it up, she finds Garrett chuckling at her. She does not say anything for a moment. It feels nice to just be with him even if it is through a computer.
“I met two friends today. The two you saw me with earlier. Liliana is a junior majoring in engineering. Ella is a junior but is still deciding what she is going to focus on. They are in the room across the hall. When I came back from breakfast, they came over and introduced themselves to me.
“That is how I learned of Hozier. Ella says that he is the hottest guy these days. I like that song, Take Me to Church.” Garrett laughs and Zara pauses in uncertainty.
“Little One, you’ve talked more in the thirty minutes on Skype than in the four days we spent together before I dropped you off at MSU. I think I am going to have to make a point of Skyping you. It sounds like you had a great day. Until you saw me, that is. Again, I am sorry for that.”
Looking down at the keys on the laptop, Zara searches for something to say when Garrett continues.
“You know I met my best friend, Branden, the day I started at MSU. He was my roommate. We went in blind and ended up being the best of friends. He is family to me. His sister, Vivian is also family. They are both looking forward to meeting you. My point is that I hope that you meet life-long friends while you are at State. It sounds like you have a good start with your hall mates.”
Zara yawns as she nods. “Okay, Little One, time to say good night. Sleep well. Call me when you want to talk again. Thank you for my CD. I love it. Night.”
“Good night.”
Chapter 13
Zara wakes up to a sunny room and a smile on her face. After showering and slipping into a pair of jean cut-offs and a tee shirt, she feels ready t
o go in search of coffee, knowing the purchase of a coffee maker was in the near future.
A wall of loud music meets Zara at the door, accompanied by her hall mates wearing expressions of concern.
“Good morning. I am…”
The opening is all Ella needs to begin firing questions. “Are you okay? Who was that? What did you do? Can I get your number?”
“Yes. Of course you may have my number.” Zara reaches into the side pocket of her pants and withdraws her phone. Not knowing her new number, it takes her a few button pushes to locate the number.
“Here let me call your phone. Then you’ll have mine. Who was that? Why was he yelling at you? Is that your BF?” Dialing didn’t prevent Ella from drilling Zara for answers. “I hit Lil’s too. Cute shorts. Where are ya’ going? So, why all the secrets about the guy?”
Zara looks from Ella to Liliana and back again during the barrage of questions. As if on cue, the quieter hall mate comes to her rescue. “Fuck, El. How is she going to answer you without you shutting up?
Pushing Ella aside, she continues, “Zara, good morning. Ella is a bit worked up this morning. We waited to hear from you all night and she was a little worried.”
“Whatever, Liliana. You were worried too. Nice try.” Crossing her arms, Ella leans against the doorway to their room. Zara senses she is waiting to have all of her questions answered and preparing to go another round if the answers are not up to her standard of curiosity.
Confident that neither of the two girls looking back at her had been raised in a Master/slave household, she pauses, uncertain how to respond.
Taking a deep breath and squaring her shoulders, Zara looks into the two sets of eyes before her and smiles, “That was Garrett. We are friends. He was upset with me for not having my phone with me for safety. He and I talked last night and things are good. I am in desperate need of caffeine. If you want to go with me, I am buying.”
Liliana nods and retreats into their room but Ella takes a step closer to Zara. Hands on her hips and looking her directly in the eye, she speaks softly and slowly, “Never allow a man to speak to you that way again. Women are to be cherished and respected. There are ways of showing concern without being a dickhead. If he can’t find those ways, walk away.”
Zara watches as Ella spins around and disappears into her room. Standing alone in the hall, Zara considers Ella’s words. A moment later, Liliana walks back through the door and joins Zara. She softly shuts the door behind her, leaving Ella alone inside.
“Ready?”
Pulling her own door closed, Zara nods and follows Liliana down the hallway wondering why Ella has not joined them. They walk in silence for several minutes then Liliana begins to shed some light on the situation.
“Ella was in an abusive relationship her first year here. It began with him yelling at her for not calling or picking up when he called. The last time she forgot her phone in the dorm, he beat her up… bad. She would stay at his apartment off and on so I didn’t think much of it when she didn’t come home.
“I knew her phone was in our room with me so I called his phone to check on her. He told me she fell asleep and that she was staying the night. I never gave it a second thought.”
Opening the door of the coffee shop, Zara was too preoccupied to soak in the aroma of coffee. She was horrified at the thought of someone hitting Ella. Obviously, it is bothering Liliana to talk about it. She patiently waits to see if Liliana will continue.
Coffee ordered and seated in the back corner of the shop, Liliana gazes into her coffee cup as she continues.
“She was gone for a total of three days and two nights. When she walked into our room, she burst into tears at the look on my face. I should have controlled my expression but I would never have thought it possible. I mean, I knew he was on her ass but I just thought it was how their relationship worked. I took her to the clinic and called the police.
“It’s been two years and she is mostly back to her old self now, but it took a while. I don’t know what happened to her while she was in his apartment. She has never wanted to talk about it and I’ve never pressed. She has been going to a shrink for a while.” Taking a sip of coffee, Liliana turns her attention to Zara.
“She watched that guy step out of the car and saw the change in your body language and relived what she went through with her ex. She waited up all night to see if you would come out of your room. She fell asleep sitting on the floor just inside the door.” Tears filled Zara’s eyes as she stares down at her coffee listening.
“She wanted to stay back at the room to get some rest, now that she knows you are okay. I’m sorry she was all over you like that. You don’t have to tell us anything about him.”
“I am so sorry she worried. You too. Garrett is very good to me. He was concerned that I could get into a situation and be unable to call for help without my phone. He works in security and worries. Please forgive me for leaving you both to worry last night.”
Shaking her head, Liliana put her coffee on the small table next to her, “There’s no need to apologize. I only told you about Ella because of the similarity of the situation with the phone and so you understand why she gets overprotective.
“She knows I am telling you about this. It is hard for her to relive it and discuss it, but wanted you to know. The guy was arrested and charged with assault. He was expelled from State and sentenced. He didn’t serve enough time.”
Silently, Liliana and Zara sit sipping their coffee. Zara knows her childhood involvement in the Community is not a topic she should discuss with either of her hall mates any time soon.
Finishing her coffee, Zara stands and asks Liliana if she wants a refill. Together they head to the counter so Liliana can get a coffee to take back to Ella.
Chapter 14
Goodnight, Little One. Sorry it’s late. I hope you have a great first day of classes.
Zara tosses her phone on the bed after re-reading Garrett’s text for the fifth time since waking up. Checking the mirror after changing outfits for the twelfth time, she sees fear and doubt reflecting back at her.
Pacing, she searches her closet for a different outfit. Careful to put everything back exactly as she finds it, no one would know she had tried on eleven outfits before the current one. A soft knock stops Zara’s search for the perfect first day of school outfit.
Opening the door, Liliana stands dressed once more in yoga pants and a tee beside Beth who is holding a bouquet of daisies, a cup holder with four coffees, a small bag and a box.
“Looks like someone is trying to start your day off with a bang,” Liliana says as she walks into Zara’s room.
“Seriously, I’m your personal delivery bitch now. The instructions state I am to bring them inside the dorm room. Apparently, handing it to you in the hall is not quite good enough,” rolling her eyes, Beth makes a grand gesture requesting to enter. “Thanks.”
Beth hands Zara the coffee carrier to better balance the rest of her load. Liliana voluntarily removes the burden of the donuts from Beth, leaving her with only the flowers to place on the desk.
“Will there be anything else Your Royal Highness?”
“Umm Beth, this bag has your name on it.” Liliana says laughing.
“WHAT?”
“Oops… this coffee appears to have your name on it as well,” Zara holds up one of the large cups from the carrier.
“Hey Beth, looks like there’s a little bit of princess in all of us today… thanks to Zara,” Liliana takes the cup of coffee from Zara and hands both the coffee and bag to Beth.
Beth walks to the door and pauses, “Thank you very much, Zara.” With that, Beth disappeared down the hall back to the front desk.
“He thinks of everything,” Zara shrugs in a hushed voice.
“I take it the daisies are for you. And by the shit eating grin on your face, I think you and this guy are more than ‘I don’t know what we are exactly.’ I am not even going to ask because when El gets out of the shower, you are goi
ng to get interrogated.”
As if Liliana’s words magically summon her, Ella walks through the door singing. She stops in her tracks, mouth hanging open at the sight of a new bunch of daisies and Liliana eating donuts. Walking to Zara, Ella gently lifts the pendants on the necklace hanging around Zara’s neck. Zara freezes as Ella examines each letter. Placing them back against Zara’s chest with a light pat, Ella walks over to Liliana and takes a coffee. She picks out a donut and gets comfortable on the bed.
Zara watches her every move and braces herself for a list of questions, but Ella happily eats her donut, humming softly to herself.
It is near silence while all three enjoy the breakfast of coffee and donuts. Zara and Liliana keep looking at Ella expecting an outburst of questions, but the questions never come.
Finally, Ella stands up and walks to the door. “Be ready in five minutes. Lil and I are walking you to your first class.”
“Ella. You do not need to worry. I found all my class locations already.”
“Z. Five minutes. It’s your first day. You’re nervous. We’ve been there. We’re taking you. Now… change into some comfy clothes and let’s do this. Wait… I have something for you.”
Ella darts out of the room.
“She’s right. Everyone is nervous on the first day,” Liliana smiles and heads over to her room to get ready to go.
Ella comes bouncing back in. “Here. It’s for your wall. You have to put it somewhere you will see it all the time. It’ll help.”
Handing Zara a brightly colored piece of paper, Zara reads, “EVERYTHING YOU WANT IS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF YOUR FEARS.”
Zara reads the quote several times, the words getting harder to see as the tears in her eyes well. When the first droplet hits the paper, Zara tries to hide the fact that she is not only touched by the quote, but also by the fact that Ella wants her to have it. Without warning, Ella grabs Zara and gives her a hug. Zara hugs her back, squeezing her as hard as she can. Ella returns to her room.
Before Him Comes Me Page 11
