Zara wipes away the other tears making their escape. For the first eighteen years of her life, she could not remember ever being hugged, yet since making the decision to accept the opportunity Garrett presented, she had three in just over a week.
Quickly washing her face and changing into a pair of white shorts and a peach drape front tank, Zara takes a final look in the mirror. The sound of her mother’s disapproving voice rings loudly in her head, “Zara Faith, you must always be mindful that your body belongs to your Sir. It is not appropriate to flaunt it. Until you are presented to your Sir, ask yourself if your father would approve.”
NO! Today, I am dressing for me.
“HOLY SHIT!” Ella exclaims returning to the hallway. “You do comfy well. Okay… sexy, hot freshman, let’s get you to your first class.”
“Too much?” Zara rushes to her closet.
“Wipe that horrified look off your face. You look amazing. We look like straight bums walking next to you, but you look fantastic. Perfect, in fact,” Liliana explains.
“Grab your stuff and let’s goooo,” Ella insists.
****
Zara pauses at the door of her first class to take a deep breath and square her shoulders. She recognizes nothing in her life had prepared her for this moment. Her stomach flip-flops with concern that the education her mother gave her at home will not be enough to keep up with college classes.
Zara slowly pushes the door open and makes her way to an empty seat as more students begin to trickle in the door. Zara takes out the journal Trudy gave her and flips past several entries to the first clean page.
I am sitting here waiting for my very first class to begin and I wanted to thank you for giving me this opportunity. This is a completely foreign life that you have provided for me, one I have neither training nor preparation to navigate. I worry I will not be able to keep up with the studies. I do not want to disappoint you.
Please know that I will do my best at this every day. I will not waste the opportunity that you have handed me. Thank you.
“Hey. Are you saving this seat?” Zara looks up and shakes her head no.
“Super. I’m Nina.” Slipping past Zara to the seat on the other side of her, Nina opens her bag and pulls out a thick notebook and a purple pen. “I’m freaking out. I couldn’t find the class. I suck at science and what is my very first college class? Biology. What’s your name?”
“Zara,” she responds, closing her journal and sliding it back into her backpack.
“Zara. Ooh… I like that. Well, Zara, how are you at science?”
“I like science.”
“Score. You are my new science friend. I may need some help. Don’t worry… I’m totally not a slacker. Science just freaks me out completely.”
The professor walks to the front of the lecture hall and begins class. Turning to a fresh page of paper, Zara begins taking notes as the lecture gets under way. In what seems like no time, Zara’s first class at Michigan State is behind her.
Sitting back in her chair, Zara reviews her notes.
“WOW. Are you a professional note taker?” a guy asks as he leans forward from the seat directly behind. “He wasn’t even supposed to lecture today.”
Zara replies at a whisper, “No.”
“Seriously, Zara, you and I are totally setting up study sessions together,” Nina states, packing her stuff into her bag. “Finding you was a gift from the college gods.”
Placing her notebook back in her backpack, Zara feels a blush begin to cover her face. Keeping her eyes cast down, Zara stands to leave.
“Wait for me,” Nina rings out.
“Oh… okay,” Nina gathers her bag and follows Zara toward the door.
“Ladies, wait for me,” the guy behind them calls out stepping over a couple of girls still in their seats chatting. Both Nina and Zara turn to wait for him to jog down the steps toward them. “I’m Ollie. Did I hear mention of a biology study group being formed? I’m in.”
“I’m Nina… this is Zara.”
Zara stands looking back at them looking at her expectantly.
Without waiting any longer for a reply, Ollie says, “Super. We can work out details on Wednesday. I have no idea how many chapters he covered today, but I already feel behind.”
“He covered chapters one and two,” Zara volunteers quietly.
“Fuck… I’m already way behind,” Ollie exclaims.
“It was very nice to meet you both but I have another class. I must get going. Thank you,” Zara says quietly.
“See ya, Zara. I’m glad I sat next to you today,” Nina tells her with smile.
“Me too,” Zara replies softly.
On her walk to her next class, Zara smiles at how well her first class had gone. Growing up down the street from the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga, Zara had often watched girls walk around the campus in small groups. She had grown up dreaming of attending college, even if for many years, she was not sure what that really meant.
Making her way back to the dorm following classes, Zara finds herself by the hidden garden. Walking in, she once again is overwhelmed by its beauty. The sounds of campus become muffled until birds and bubbling water are the only sounds Zara hears.
Zara heads down the steps to explore the garden. The lush green grass creates a thick carpet for each step. The flower beds look meticulously groomed and are clearly labeled with the name of each plant. Deeper in the garden, Zara discovers an open area where a couple of people are sitting on the grass reading quietly. Finding a spot far enough away from everyone else, Zara sits in the grass.
Placing the backpack beside her, Zara removes the phone from her pocket and lays it on top of the backpack. Drawing her legs to her chest, Zara rests her cheek on her knees and wraps arms around her legs. The nerves of the first day are over, leaving her with a longing to speak with Garrett and tell him about her classes.
“Stop it, Zara. This is an incredible opportunity. You are where you always wanted to be… COLLEGE!! Stop with the ‘I need a connection’ with someone. First day of class, and already you have been asked to form a study group. Liliana and Ella wanted to walk you to your first class. You are in college. This is your life now. All you have now is you,” she mutters to herself under her breath.
Zara runs her fingers though the grass. Memories of her waking up the morning after the Ceremony in Michigan begin to flood her thoughts and, for the first time since arriving on campus, Zara allows herself the freedom to think about them.
The vibration of an incoming calls jolts Zara from the beach house back to the hidden garden. As Zara sits daydreaming, her phone rings.
Releasing her grasp on the pendant, Zara picks up her phone and answers quietly, “Hello.”
“Little One, is everything okay? Are you back at your room?”
“I am on my way back there now.” Zara explains standing to quickly make her way to the garden entrance. “Everything is fine. Thank you.”
“How’d classes go?”
“Very well. Liliana and Ella walked me to my first class. I met some fellow students to study with in biology. Thank you for breakfast. We all enjoyed it.”
Garrett chuckled, “You’re welcome. Sounds like you had a good first day. Why did you sound so sad when you first answered the phone?”
“I was just deep in thought. The phone call startled me,” Zara says in a hushed voice.
“Mhmm… Do you wish to share what you were thinking about so deeply?”
“I was thinking about my first day at your beach house. It is hard to believe it has only been one week since…”
“Since your life went in a completely unexpected direction,” Zara nods as Garrett finishes her thought. “Zara, do you remember what I told you when I gave you the pendants that night?” Zara’s thoughts traveled back to her first night at the beach house when Garrett gave her the pendant.
“Zara! Zara! Are you alright?” Garrett booms in her ear.
Startled, Zara is suddenly alarme
d by car horns and people shouting.
“Zara!” Liliana yells running full speed toward her. Still holding the phone to her ear to hear Garrett firing questions about what is happening and who is there while Liliana wraps her arm around her and walks her across the street and up to the dorm.
“Zara, come on. Let’s get you out of here. What’s going on? You look lost. Who is on the phone?”
“Garrett,” Zara whispers.
“Great. Can I say hi and thank him for the coffee this morning?” Liliana asks gently reaching for the phone.
“Little One, go inside and let me talk to your friend for a minute.”
Zara nods and hands Liliana the phone and continues into her room.
Closing the door, Zara sets her backpack on her desk and goes to the window. Hoping to find Garett parked beneath one of the big trees and on his phone talking to Liliana, a flood of disappointment fills Zara at not seeing him.
A knock at the door rouses her from the window. Zara plasters a smile on her face before opening it.
“Hey, Z. Here is your phone back. Garrett has a meeting but said he will call you later. What the fuck happened today? Why were you in the middle of the street?”
Taking the phone, Zara steps aside and Liliana comes into her room making herself at home. “Better me than El, you know that, right?”
Zara closes the door and takes a seat on the bed. “I was deep in thought and lost track of where I was. All of a sudden the horns and yelling started and I froze.” Exhaling, Zara looks off into the space of the room.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes. It was a stressful day,” Zara responds in a soft, clear voice.
“Alright. I am here if you need me,” Liliana stands up and makes her ways toward the door. “How were your classes?”
“Good. I have a lot of reading to do.”
“Welcome to college. Yeah, there are parties and fun but it’s mostly studying.” Opening the door, Liliana greets a couple of the girls from down the hall as they returned to their room. “Take a shower. El will be back any minute. We can all get food and study. The fun begins today!”
Later that night, when Zara is sitting with Liliana, Ella and several other girls from the dorm in the large study room reading, her text notification makes everyone look up. Blushing, Zara reaches for her phone.
Please check your email when you have time.
Puzzled, Zara reads the text again. Gathering her books, Zara heads back to her room to read the email alone.
Zara Faith,
Congratulations on completing your first day of college. With the exception of a minor traffic incident, it seems you had a very successful day. I had no doubt that you would make it through today with ease. Hearing that you have already established friends reassures me that you are going to do very well at MSU.
You mentioned thinking about your time at the beach house earlier and, I must admit, I have been thinking about our time together as well. I am glad that we had that short amount of time to get to know each other before you started school.
Now it’s time to discover who you are and what you want. It’s time for me to give you the space to explore your time as a college student.
Little One, I will always be here for you. If you need anything, you just need to contact me. But no more staring out the window, I will not be out there. Everything that you need is inside the room and inside you.
Garrett
Zara numbly closes her laptop. Grabbing her backpack and phone, she returns to the great room to continue her reading with the other girls. Opening her textbook on her lap, Zara finds herself staring out the window into the darkness of night.
“Z, you alright?” Ella asks in a hushed voice.
“Yes. Thank you for asking,” Zara says more forcefully than intended, and then adds a smile to attempt to soften her response. Ella looks from Zara to Liliana and back. Nodding, everyone returns to reading and a peaceful silence falls over the great room.
Later, as Zara climbs into bed, she tries to summarize the material that she read for biology, but the science materials are replaced by images of her father correcting her mother’s misbehavior, her mother disappearing before her eyes and leaving Zara to care for her newborn brother so her father could have his slave.
Sitting up, Zara takes deep breaths and brings a relaxing image of the beach to mind until she can hear the sound of the waves crashing against the shore, and the smell the wet sand being baked by the sun. Slowly, the images of her father ordering her mother to sit on the floor while everyone else sits at the table to eat dinner fade away.
Chapter 15
Zara finds a sense of relief by the end of her first week of classes. The amount of homework is far less than what her mother had demanded of her and her brother. Her current knowledge on her subjects surprises her, by far exceeding the requirements of her courses.
Having so many new people around has transitioned from overwhelming to welcoming. Zara works hard to get to know all the girls in the dorm by name. Some of them are warmer than others, but all maintain a level of social politeness that Zara appreciates.
As each day starts and ends, only one thought refuses to be suppressed. From an early age, Zara had been taught to place her emotions into a box and place the box in the deepest part of her inner self. Garrett could not be wrestled into a nice neat box.
Zara’s daily thoughts of Garrett begin when she wakes up in the morning, checking her phone in hopes of receiving a ‘good morning’ text or any type of communication from the man she had spent so little time with, but who had left such a lasting impression.
Meeting Ella and Liliana had been a wonderful surprise and an enormous help. Today, when Zara opened the door to say good morning to her best friends, Ella rolls her eyes at Zara’s maxi-dress and scandals. She looks down at herself, to see what is wrong with her outfit.
Liliana giggles. “It’s Friday, Freshman. No classes.” Zara shrugs her shoulders in confusion.
“You don’t dress up to bum around!” Ella admonished with exasperation. Zara looks at both of them and notes that they are in yoga pants and MSU tee shirts. No makeup.
“I thought we were going off campus for breakfast this morning. Ella mentioned shopping,” Zara says puzzled.
Pushing Zara back through her door, Ella holds both of her hands and looks into Zara’s eyes. “Breakfast and the mall. We’re gonna wait while you change out of this stunning outfit and put on a pair of those yoga pants. Put your hair in a pony, too. Trust me… you need this!”
Ella pulls the door closed behind her, leaving Zara wide-eyed and mouth open. Zara stands in that spot for a long moment before pulling out a new pair of yoga pants and a “Spartan 4 Life” tee shirt. Slipping on her flip-flops, she pulls her hair into a neat sleek bun. Applying a couple of spritzes of hairspray, she picks up her purse and pulls her phone out with a hopeful glance at the screen; she sees there are no messages from Garrett, drops it back inside and opens the door.
Ella snaps a picture of her, “I am going to print this out and post it on your mirror as a reminder that comfy is good!”
Moments later, the three friends walk out the front door and head for the diner for much needed coffee and breakfast. Zara smiles to herself as she walks a step behind them.
“What are you so smiley about this morning, Freshman?” Ella quips, glancing back at her.
“Just thinking how lucky I am to have been assigned a room across the hall from the two of you.” Zara feels the heat of a blush creep over her face.
“DAMN right… you’re lucky!” Ella laughs. She wraps her arm around Zara’s waist and pulls her forward.
The aromas of greasy food and freshly brewed coffee hits Zara as she steps in the door of the diner. Packed with students nursing their first “Friday morning away from home” hangovers, the girls join a table with Ella’s classmates. Ella introduces Zara as their resident freshman and everyone at the table laughs and says hello. Once coffee is poured and orde
rs placed, the conversation turns to the upcoming football game.
Quietly sipping her coffee, Zara sits listening to the friends chat and laugh. Ella jumps up when the food is delivered and begins taking pictures of the table. Laughter breaks out when one of the girls points her fork, loaded with pancakes, at Ella and threatens her, “If any of these pictures see the light of day on social media, you are a dead woman.”
After breakfast, Ella declares they are doing a photo shoot. Neither Zara nor Liliana feel like having their pictures taken, but Ella insists. Not even the promises of a trip to the mall sway her, but they agree to go to the hidden garden. Zara holds her pendant while Liliana further tries to talk Ella out of taking pictures. Ella glances at Zara and declares they are going to the hidden garden.
Zara and Liliana explore the garden, while Ella roams around snapping pictures of whatever moves her. Eventually, Zara finds a spot to sit in the grass near the walking bridge and Liliana joins her.
“This is my favorite place on campus so far,” Zara says softly. She runs her fingers through the freshly cut grass. Staring off into space, thinking of her special place in Tennessee and how happy she is that she has found a place that brings her a sense of peace. A soft breeze brushes her face bringing with it many different scents of the surrounding flowers.
“A penny for your thoughts,” Liliana says. Zara looks at her without saying anything. “Z, this is where you start to tell me where you went just then. You disappeared in your thoughts. You do that a lot.”
Zara draws her legs to her chest and wraps her arms around them. Resting her cheek on her knee, she is careful to keep her eyes diverted from Liliana’s penetrating stare. “I was thinking what an amazing opportunity this is for me.”
It comes out sounding sadder than Zara intended, but before she has a chance to continue, Ella begins to snap pictures at them mimicking a professional photographer giving direction.
“Z, lay back on the grass for me and look straight up. Wait… Lil, lay down with the top of your head touching the top of Z’s.”
Before Him Comes Me Page 12
