Before Him Comes Me

by Sure, Alexandria

  All three shake their heads no. Garrett reaches over and lays his hand on Zara’s knee. “Zara, you don’t have to discuss this. You know as well as I do that this is confidential.”

  She pauses briefly then continues with clarity and conviction. “Garrett, I have no issue discussing this with your friends. I don’t believe that either of them have plans to publish an article or are researching a book about us.”

  Zara turns her attention back to her waiting audience and begins to share her story. “The King Council is the core of the Community. The governing body, if you will. Let me start further back.

  “In the 40’s, there were a couple of major players in the world of BDSM, Ray and Seabrock. One of the founding fathers of the King Council was mentored by Seabrock. Forgive me, but some names I will not share as they hold no relevance to the explanation and, as Garrett has indicated, should be allowed to remain confidential.

  “Upon settling in the United States, he was able to connect with other like-minded individuals. They were few and far between but a network formed and the group began to meet on an annual basis to share ideas, exchange instruments and, most likely, interact in demonstrations and play.

  “During this time, one of the daughters of the members was beaten to death by her husband, an outsider, as you all are referred to by the Community. This event provoked communication regarding the daughters of the members and their safety.

  “It is my understanding that the first match was made at the request of one of the daughters. The members saw an opportunity to strengthen already forming bonds and provide safe spouses for their daughters. The first match was held at the annual King Council gathering. The daughter, brought to the event by her father, left with her new Dom.

  “In outsider terms, they were married. It’s very much like other cultures that subscribe to arranged marriages. The difference, of course, is that the daughters of our Community are trained by their mothers to be submissive for her Sir.

  “As part of the deal, the young Dom would join ranks with the King Council upon the acceptance of a submissive. In this way a lasting legacy is ensured for the Council. As time evolved, certain aspects have changed. For instance, the ceremonies now occur on the eighteenth birthday of the Council member’s daughter.”

  Pausing to take a drink of water, Zara continues. “I am the daughter of a King Council member. I was raised to become the submissive of the Dominant that my father and the Council determined would be a good match. In my family, there was never any doubt that I would walk into the Circle belonging to my father and leave it belonging to Garrett.”

  Taking a cleansing breath, Zara looks at her full plate feeling her hunger suddenly hit.

  “That’s it?” Viv squeals.

  Everyone looks at her and Branden begins to laugh, “Viv, what else did you think it was? Someone being dragged into a ceremony kicking and screaming with ropes and chains?”

  “The kicking and screaming is a very real part of it for some of us,” Zara says softly. “However, it is our upbringing that is the ropes and chains and they are around us securely every step of the way.”

  The silence that surrounds Zara brings her out of her thoughts and back into the room. Realizing she has stunned her audience, Zara falters, “Forgive me. I should not have–”

  “Yes, Little One, you should. I want to hear all your thoughts. However, I do think this is a conversation for you and me to have in private at a later time.” Garrett nods to the siblings who are eagerly listening. “How about if we allow Zara to eat her meal and the two of you entertain her with your tales.”

  Viv is the first to respond and places her fork purposefully on the plate in front of her. “Our story is short and tragic. Our parents were killed and we are all that we have. I am older by birth but Branden is older by necessity. Quite a simple and short story.”

  “Viv… I am so sorry. I did not realize.”

  “No worries. They’ve been gone for a long time. We’re fine. Right, B?” Standing up and picking up his plate, Branden moves behind his sister and hugs her with his free arm.

  “We’re perfect… Sister Lady.” Viv’s smile lights her from the inside. Returning to the table, Branden carries a pie in each hand. He carefully sets them on the table and takes his seat. “We’ve been on our own for years. Garrett and his family have sort of adopted us though. Hence, Thanksgiving at my house, then Christmas with the Dawson Family.”

  “Once we all graduated from college, my parents began traveling during the holiday so it has been the three of us every year.” Garrett leans into Zara and taps her on the nose. “We’re very happy to have someone new join our little Thanksgiving group.”

  Zara eats her dinner as the three fell into a comfortable conversation that she knows nothing about. She is content to just listen and be near Garrett. At times, he reaches out to explain a point, touching her lightly on the elbow or the knee in the process, and that is all Zara needs to feel like she belongs in the mix.

  Once the dinner is over and the pies have been devoured, Zara and Viv clean up the dishes and kitchen. As Zara assists Viv with loading the dishwasher, her thoughts are on Garrett and the kisses that they have shared. “You know you are smiling while doing dishes… right? Want to talk about it?”

  Zara shakes her head no but she feels her smile broaden. “Figures. Fine… change of subject. Are you glad you didn’t marry or whatever Garrett that night in the circle thingy?”

  The plate slips out of Zara’s hand and crashes to the floor shattering.

  “OH FUCK!!!” Viv shouts.

  “I am so sorry. I really am sorry. It just slid right out of my hands,” Zara exclaims mournfully. As she bends to pick up the pieces, Branden and Garrett rush into the kitchen.

  “I see how you are,” Branden says with a huge grin on his face. “I cook you a nice dinner and you break the dishes.”

  With broom in hand, Viv shoos Zara back and quickly sweeps the broken pieces into a pile.

  Shaking, Zara turns to face Garrett and finds herself wrapped into his arms. “Hey, it is not a big deal. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

  “G, are we going to wait to tell her this is my dead parents’ china?” Zara’s hands fly to cover her mouth to hold in the gasp.

  “Branden! Don’t be an ass. She’s upset,” Viv says from crouching on the floor picking up the broken pieces.

  “Z. Hey, it’s okay. There’s no significance to these plates. You could break all of them. Seriously. I’m just glad you’re fine.” Branden walks over and touches Zara’s arm then bends down to help his sister.

  Looking up into Garrett’s eye, Zara whispers, “I am so sorry.”

  Garrett responds by lifting her chin and planting a soft kiss on her lips, then repeats the kiss one more time before releasing her.

  The four work in relative silence to finish the last of the cleanup. Once done, Zara comments on the showplace of a kitchen, “Branden, you have a beautiful kitchen.”

  “Thanks, Z. It’s the only room of the house that I gave a fuck about during the renovation.”

  “Yes, and he wasn’t particularly helpful either,” Viv says walking around the island, leading the way to the far end of the living space.

  “I’m a chef. I want what I want.”

  “Okay… you’re not a chef even if you do cook very well, thank you very much. But you were difficult on the kitchen,” Viv declares as she plops onto the far end of the leather sofa.

  “Imagine if he would have cared about the entire house,” Zara says matter-of-factly.

  Everyone starts to laugh. Garrett grabs her by the shoulders to prevent her from sitting on the sofa and guides her to a big leather recliner. Sitting down, he pulls her onto his lap and he squashes back into the chair to get comfortable. Branden turns on a football game and they all relax.

  After the game, they put on a movie amidst pleas for mercy by the guys for food. Pizza is ordered and eaten while watching Galaxy Quest. Zara feels Garrett’s
stare as she bursts into another fit of laughter. She had never seen the movie and it quickly becomes one of her favorites. Once the movie ends, Garrett helps Zara to her feet and then stands up behind her.

  “Let’s talk,” he says with a wicked smirk on his face. Zara feels a blush take over her face. Her eyes center on his as he takes her hand and escorts her away, but not before she catches Branden rolling his eyes at Viv.

  “Talk. That’s what you kids are calling it today.”

  “Garrett, as excited as Zara was that you made it back today, I’m thinking ‘talking’ is the last thing on her mind,” Viv grins at her proclamation.

  “You guys stayin’?” Branden asks before they are out of sight. Garrett stops and lifts his hand to Zara’s chin to draw her eyes to his.

  “Are we staying here tonight? It means homemade breakfast by Chef Branden.” His asking takes Zara completely by surprise. She nods, looking deep into his eyes.

  I get lost every time.

  “Looks like my lady wants to stay. See you both tomorrow and I am NOT working out at the crack ass of dawn so don’t even ask.”

  Chuckling as he makes his way to the kitchen with the pizza boxes, Branden yells out, “Wasn’t askin’!”

  “Goodnight, Branden. Thank you again for an incredible dinner. Viv, thank you for creating the best bathtub experience ever,” Zara says over her shoulder while being led up the steps.

  Chapter 22

  “Shit! Hold on!” Garrett dashes back down the stairs to disappear into the kitchen. Zara can hear Branden laugh at whatever is happening in the kitchen. Garrett reappears making his way back up the steps with bottles and glasses in hand. “Lead the way, Little One.”

  Zara holds the glass door open. As he passes by, Garrett drops a kiss on her unsuspecting lips. Grinning, Zara walks past Garrett to open the door to his private residence. Garrett gestures Zara to enter and kicks the door closed behind him with his foot.

  Walking over to the coffee table, he begins to carefully unload the bounty stolen from the kitchen. “I didn’t know what you were going to be in the mood to drink while we talked, so I brought options. I can go back down if you want something else. Branden said that you had a virgin version of Viv’s favorites earlier. He volunteered to make more if you would prefer that.”

  “Garrett, whatever you brought up for me is perfect. Thank you.” Zara makes her way to sit on the sofa. Garrett sits down next to her and hands her a bottle of water and Coke. Zara gives him a quick smile.

  “Not bad for fifteen seconds.” Chuckling, Garrett begins to pour himself a drink. “Which would you prefer?”

  “Just water. Thank you,” Zara replies softly.

  Garrett untwists the cap and hands Zara one of the bottles of water he carried up. “I’d like a quick shower. Would you like me to run you another bath?”

  “No, thank you. I will be fine here.”

  He leans in to look deeply into her eyes, as they sit silently together. Zara gazes back and after a few seconds, Garrett crosses the last few inches of spaces between them and gently presses his lips to hers. When he pulls away, he lightly tugs on Zara’s lower lip.

  Grabbing his drink, Garrett walks into the bedroom and out of sight. Zara sets the water bottle on the coffee table and collapses against the back of the sofa. Covering her face with her hand, she takes a deep breath and allows her mind to open to the thoughts she had been keeping at bay since the Circle Ceremony.

  The lack of conversation with her mother comes crashing in like water being released from a broken dam. The joy of having freedom granted to her in every area of her life, yet being abandoned by her family because of that freedom causes a hollow space in Zara’s heart. Zara realizes the only way to have the relationship she really wants with Garrett is to become the person she had never been taught to be.

  I need to be me.

  Sitting up, she closes her eyes and places her hands on her thighs with her palms facing upward. Taking slow deep breaths, her mind clears and her body settles. Images of the beach drift into her thoughts, how the warm sand gives way under foot with each step approaching the shore, how the temperature of the sand gradually cools as the water’s edge comes closer. She can almost feel the frothy cool water as she stands ankle deep in Lake Michigan.

  “Little One, did you fall asleep?” Garrett whispers as he sits down gently beside her. Opening her eyes, Zara gives him a smile. “If you are tired, we can talk tomorrow.”

  “Garrett, I am fine. I was just thinking.”

  Garrett repositions himself so that he is leaning back against the back of the sofa and places his bare feet of the coffee table. “Actually, I was thinking too, I was thinking about your first night in Michigan at the beach house. I was in the shower that night wondering how the conversation would go when I gave you the necklace.

  “A lot has changed since that night, yet a lot is exactly the same. For example, you have changed quite a bit. When you talked about the Community, I sat back in awe of how comfortable and confident you were. It was fun to see you engaging with my friends during the movie. Little One, you seem to be more comfortable in your own skin. Having not spent any time with you in the last couple of months, I was blown away at the difference.”

  Zara picks up the bottle of water that is in front of her and takes a long drink. Slowly screwing the cap on and setting it back on the table, Zara scoots herself against the arm of the sofa and shifts her legs underneath her body. The position gives her some space between her and Garrett.

  “Zara, what are you thinking about so loudly at the end of the sofa?”

  Taking a deep breath, Zara knows this is a moment where she needs to be completely open and honest with him.

  This is it.

  “Garrett, you are right. I have changed, and hopefully, I will continue to change. But in all the changing I am doing, I am finding me. I am figuring out what I want for me and whom I want to spend my time with. I hope through all the changes I have made that you can still see me, Zara Faith.”

  Zara exhales. Slowly, her eyes begin to journey from her feet to Garrett’s torso, his chest, shoulder, neck, and finally to his… HUGE SMILE!!! Her eyes lock onto his and she cannot help but return a smile.

  “So you found yourself?” he asks.

  “Probably not all of me, but I am discovering new things, and I am becoming more comfortable. I like school. I like my classes. I’ve selected my classes for next semester already. I have friends…” Zara’s voice dwindles off at the end.

  “What are you not sharing with me?” Garrett asks, reading her like a book.

  Zara looks away and feels her eyes fill with tears. Tensing, she works to block the negative emotions flooding her. Every fiber of her body vibrates as again she fights eighteen years of being taught by her mother to keep her emotions hidden.

  Without warning, Garrett stands. He moves to the end of the sofa, lifts Zara into his arms and sits in her spot, settling her onto his lap. “Okay… Tell me what has upset you, and this time, don’t force it back down inside.”

  Zara’s heart clenches. She knows it is now or never, time to peel away the layers of preconceived notions of a Dom and allow Garrett to be himself as much as he is asking her to be herself. Her sight blurs from the tears collecting in her eyes.

  Zara snuggles deeper into Garrett’s arms. “I called my house today and my mother answered the phone.”

  “Shit!” he said, squeezing her tighter.

  “She said I made my choice. Then she hung up.” Each word out of Zara’s mouth becomes softer than the last.

  “Little One, I’m sorry. We should have discussed this sooner,” Garrett speaks quietly as he runs his hand up and down Zara’s back. Some of her tears escape and form streams down her cheeks. “I’m sorry I wasn’t with you when you reached out to your family. Let’s make that an agreement between us… any reaching out to the Community will be done when I am with you.”

  Zara nods. The two sit together in silence. Zara is no lo
nger crying but the sadness lingers deep within her.

  Garrett, seeming to be in no hurry to move, is the first to speak. “Will you tell me how school is going?”

  “Of course. First, El and Lil are amazing. They have been so helpful every step of the way this semester. El is even teaching me to use her camera a little. I am loving that. You should see my dorm room. The walls are covered with pictures we have taken around campus and of each other. El says it is important to document our college memories.” Giggling, Zara sits up so she can look into Garrett’s eyes while she is speaking.

  “Most of the dorm studies together after dinner in the front rooms. Oh, Beth… she works at the front desk. She really needs a better job. She is brilliant, and studies computer science. Beth is the girl that the dorm hired to come in early to assist in getting me settled. You had her deliver my dinner. And she–” Zara stopped. Her eyes dipped down to Garrett’s chin.

  “She what?”

  Zara’s chin dips lower almost resting on her chest. “She really needs a better job. Can you give her a job?”

  “Little One, I can’t promise anything but I will ask around. Okay?” Garrett tilts his head to get a look into Zara’a eyes. “What else besides job placement is happening with you at State?”

  “Everyone says it has been unseasonably warm and I am in for an awful winter. I have only seen snow a couple of times and it was only a dusting on the ground. I am looking forward to seeing real snow. I registered for a much tougher class load next semester.” Zara stops with a gasp.

  Garrett looks at Zara with a puzzled expression.

  “I should have consulted you prior to registering for classes. I apologize. Ollie said that it was better to get into an advisor as soon as possible so my chances of getting into my classes were higher. I really am sorry. I used your credit card to pay for the classes.”

  Garrett lifts Zara’s hand up to his lips and presses a kiss into the palm. “First of all, that is your credit card to use as you need to and I would only ask that you consult me if you need to make a large purchase such as a car. Not that I would tell you that you couldn’t have it, but I would have you purchase the car from a different source of funding. Does that make sense?”