Love & Hate Series Box Set (Love & Hate #1-2)

by Joanna Mazurkiewicz

  “It’s sorted, then. Don’t worry, Indi. I’ll organise everything.” She beams.

  Oliver doesn’t acknowledge me again for the rest of lunch, but when Dora finally leaves, I decide to take a deep breath and just tell him he doesn’t need to feel obligated to do anything. A group of girls stares at me with such hate, and I know this has something to do with the fact that I’m sitting with Oliver and he’s supposed to throw more pranks at me.

  “Listen, you don’t need to come to this stupid party if you don’t want to. You’ve probably got better things to do.”

  Oliver puts the last piece of meat into his mouth and lifts his eyes to look at me, both amused and curious. Every time he looks at me like that, I feel like he’s seeing more than just my unease. He knows my feelings for him aren’t completely forgotten.

  “Don’t stress, Indi. Maybe you were right. We should put our past behind us and try to be friends again.”

  I let go of a short gasp. “Really, I mean after—”

  “If we want to be friends, then we have to remember not to talk about the past. Let’s just start over.”

  “Um, right, if that’s what you want.”

  Then out of the blue, Rhian appears by Oliver, kissing him with such a passion that I’m ready to punch her.

  “Hey, I need to go to the library. Want to join me?” she asks, not even acknowledging that we were having a full-on conversation a moment before she interrupted. She gives me a generous smile, finally noticing I’m sitting opposite him. Oliver agrees and they both leave.

  Rhian actually sounds like a nice girl. She isn’t like Mackenzie. On top of that, she’s stunning, looking more like a model than a biology student. It’s silly that I’m jealous. Oliver deserves to be happy. I hurt him too much and he’ll never look at me that way again.

  As soon as they’re out of the canteen, I clear out and hurry to my class. The rest of the day passes quickly.

  After our small talk in the canteen, Oliver starts to put his decision in motion. He starts hanging out with Jacob and Dora, probably trying to show me that he was perfectly serious with that friendship talk. More often, he is with his new girlfriend, but I can’t seem to figure out his intentions of having her around him all the time. Oliver has a colourful reputation. I’ve been hearing he’s been sleeping around, but since he broke up with Mackenzie, he didn’t go back to his old ways. It appears he is in a serious, committed relationship with Rhian. This doesn’t make any sense, but it’s not my business. We might never be what we used to be, but this is the closest I can get now.

  On the day of my birthday, I don’t feel like getting out of bed. It’s Saturday and Dora has been planning this “small” party for ages now. She invited a few girls from the rowing team. She hasn’t forgotten about Russell, so I need to remember to keep Oliver and him away from each other.

  “Wake up, Sleeping Beauty. You need to be ready in five minutes,” says Dora, barging into my bedroom.

  “What? How come you’re up? It’s not even nine o’clock!”

  “Shut up and get ready. My present is already waiting for you.”

  As it turns out, Dora paid for a spa day for both of us. I don’t know what to expect until she leaves the house and drives at least half an hour outside Braxton. When she parks the car in front of the very expensive hotel, I stop feeling tense. She obviously went to a lot of effort, and she wants to treat both of us today. As Dora planned, all day long we are both spoiled with massages, manicures, and pedicures. After that, we have a break for a delicious lunch.

  My mum calls after we leave the spa centre. I get more birthday wishes and a couple more cards when I get home. Then it’s time to prepare the house for the party. Dora and I both look amazing, and I feel like nothing can go wrong this evening.

  In the past two years, I haven’t been doing much on my birthday. Without feeding the demons, I couldn’t go through with another party, even if Dora insisted. Now is the time to face a new challenge. Oliver will show up and maybe everything will go back to normal, like before we both started hating each other.

  Jacob shows up just after seven with the last decorations.

  “How is the birthday girl?” asks Jacob.

  “Nervous, I guess. I’m not a big fan of the parties organised by Dora.”

  He laughs, knowing exactly what I mean. He takes something out of his pocket and hands it to me.

  “This is just something from me, with thanks, you know, for saving my relationship with Dora,” he says, scratching his head.

  “She is dumb sometimes, but she has a good heart.”

  Inside, there is a beautiful silver necklace. I hug Jacob, telling him he shouldn’t have gotten me anything, and then I head to the bedroom to finish getting ready. When the clock strikes eight, people start coming in. Dora is on her best behaviour, looking stunning wearing a red dress. I curl my hair for a strapless purple dress with black belt. For the first time since I arrived in Braxton, I don’t feel I have to prove anything to anyone. I can finally be myself.

  Before I know it, our small living room is crowded. Russell winks at me, holding a bottle of beer. I chat with a couple of girls from the rowing team. By nine, there is no sign of Oliver, and I begin to wonder if he’s going to show up.

  Dora keeps the drinks coming and stays away from drinking too much, as she is the host.

  I overhear Jacob’s conversation with Dora in the kitchen later that night. They’re talking about Oliver and it looks like he won’t be coming. I force another smile on my face and keep telling myself it’s better not to have too much hope. It will take him more than a few conversations to get over what I did to him.

  Around eleven, everyone sings happy birthday to me as Dora brings out a large chocolate cake. I feel so blessed and swallow my tears, knowing I truly have a good friend in this world. Later on, I put my feet up and tell Dora she can cut the crap and just have a drink. The music isn’t loud, and so far no one has complained.

  A few more people arrive after eleven, and I go downstairs with the rubbish, hoping to get some air. I kept away from heavy spirits tonight, focusing mainly on wine. The darkness covers the campus grounds, and at midnight, my birthday will be officially over.

  I throw the rubbish out and tuck my coat around me. It’s freezing cold again, and getting ill isn’t on the agenda.

  “India…”

  This voice always brings icy chills down my spine. My warm breath dances around my face, catching up with icy air. When I look up, seeing Oliver standing a few feet away from me, my heart reacts instantly.

  “Oliver, what are you doing here?”

  This is the only reasonable question that comes to my mind right now. He shouldn’t be here in the middle of the night. The party is over. He’s four hours late.

  “I’m sorry I’m late, but I wasn’t sure if it was such a good idea for me to come to your birthday party.”

  “It’s freezing out here, Oliver, but if you want to talk, let’s go upstairs,” I tell him, ignoring how I felt when he didn’t show up.

  “I got a present for you. I know it’s midnight, but let me show you something.”

  “Oliver, you don’t have to do this. It’s all right. If you come upstairs, then you can have some leftovers—”

  “India, I don’t want the cake. I want to take you somewhere. Stop dismissing everything I’m saying,” he insists, approaching me. All of a sudden, my body doesn’t want to be away from him.

  “I need to tell Dora. She’ll be worried,” I say, not even realising I’m agreeing to go with him.

  “Text her. Say you’re with me.”

  Chapter Twenty

  Friends?

  Present

  Oliver is right. I have my mobile in my pocket so I can tell Dora I’m hanging out with him for the rest of the night. I can see how ridiculous this sounds. I should be saying no to a night adventure with the guy who hated me not so long ago, but the idea of being together messes up my head.

  We stop in fr
ont of an old VW Golf parked by my apartment.

  “Get in. We’re going for a small trip.” He smirks, winking at me. God, he looks so handsome in his leather jacket, thick scarf around his neck. An idea of doing something out of the ordinary gets me going, but I know this is completely crazy. We don’t talk while he reverses and drives off the campus. Braxton is surrounded by fields and farms. There is a small town at least twenty miles north, but other than that, it’s not a very inhabited area. As we both sit quietly, I begin to wonder if he ditched his girlfriend to be with me tonight.

  “Are you going to tell me where we’re going?” I ask just to avoid thinking about his cologne that infuses the air inside the car.

  “Somewhere special. I think it’s worth me showing you this today. It’s a perfect birthday present.” His voice is controlled and firm, no sign of reluctance or hesitation. This is the Oliver that I knew before the party, before everything went terribly wrong.

  After a long and uncomfortable drive, Oliver stops the car in the middle of nowhere. In front of us is complete darkness.

  “I know it’s freezing cold, but we can’t miss this. I got some thick blankets in the back.”

  “Blankets, what for? You don’t expect me get outside. It must be like minus five!”

  “Trust me, you will love what I’m about to show you. I’ve got some vodka to keep you warm.”

  I can’t help but roll my eyes. Oliver’s idea seems completely insane, but I get out of the car, trying to reason with myself that this is not crazy at all. If this is one of his pranks, then I’m going to forget he ever existed. The silence buzzes in my ears, and I search for Oliver in the gloom.

  “Come on,” he says, taking my hand. His touch warms me up in an instant. He is confusing me even more right now. I have no idea what he’s planning, but I’m strangely excited about this.

  He leads me in front of the car.

  “Sit on the top and take this,” he says, passing me a warm, thick blanket.

  “Oliver, come on. This is insane!” I protest.

  “Yeah, it is, but just shut up for a moment.”

  I do what he says and sit at the front of the car, wrapping myself with the blanket. He climbs next to me.

  “Look up at the sky and wait for your birthday present.”

  “Am I supposed to look for something specific?” I ask, trying not to laugh. When the heat from his body reaches me, my breathing becomes heavier, more laboured.

  “Yeah, in couple more minutes.”

  Oliver unscrews the cap of a small bottle of vodka and hands it to me. He doesn’t even ask if I want a drink; he just assumes I won’t say no. I take a generous gulp and swallow because I don’t want him to think I forgot how to have fun. The alcohol burns my throat, but it warms me up. For a moment, we sit in silence, lost in our own thoughts.

  “Come on, it’s starting. You need to look up,” he says, sounding excited. I pull a face and look at the black sky scattered with stars. The view is breathtaking. Then I spot the shooting star. My pulse starts racing when I see more and more. The glowing streaks cover the sky, and I gasp in amazement.

  “It’s a meteor shower. This doesn’t happen very often, and you can only see it after midnight or right before dawn,” explains Oliver.

  “This is unbelievable.” I gasp, watching as the streaks of light fall, many tracking together in the distance, creating this mesmerising show, fireballs shooting through the black space. They dazzle with a spray of sparks like an airborne sparkler. In that moment, the coldness doesn’t matter anymore because I’m here with Oliver, watching the most amazing spectacle of falling stars.

  What Oliver has given me is priceless and the most romantic moment in my entire life. My heartbeat quickens, and I fight to hold in my tears. It’s an emotional experience that I’m going to remember for a lifetime.

  “Let’s just believe this is the beginning of a new friendship. I don’t fucking care about the past. We both have to move on.”

  “Thank you. This is the most amazing thing anyone has ever done for me.”

  “I knew you would like it. Rhian doesn’t appreciate things like that.”

  I smile. Despite him mentioning his girlfriend, I feel like our connection has been resumed. He didn’t bring me here to say he made a mistake and that he’s still in love with me. He brought me here to start over. I pushed past that vicious cycle of cruelty.

  “Oliver, I need to ask you something. Please don’t get angry,” I begin, unable to hide the tension in my voice.

  “If you have to…”

  “When you came to Gargle, did you talk to your mother? Did you see her?”

  He takes a sharp intake of breath, looking away. I know how much he hates talking about his fucked-up family. It’s not easy for me to bring up that subject now, when his mother knows the whole truth, but this is part of the feeling process.

  “I wanted to, but I didn’t.”

  “Your mother has changed. She isn’t the same person anymore. I know I shouldn’t say anything, but you should call her.”

  “How do you know she’s changed?”

  I kind of shot myself in the foot here. I can tell I’m closer to his own mother than he’s ever been.

  “I saw her a couple of times a year after you left. I know she’s doing much better now,” I say, fiddling with my fingers as his gaze penetrates my lies and all the hatred that accumulated within me for a year.

  “She is toxic, India, and you know it. You shouldn’t talk to her.”

  “Please, Oliver, at least try. She has suffered enough.”

  “I don’t know if I can do that. Her precious boy is dead, my father left her, and she’s looking for pity. Don’t you remember how she treated me?”

  “Of course I remember, but she is your mother, Oliver. You can try with small steps.”

  “Let’s not talk about her. It’s your birthday, and I think the meteor storm is over. Let me take you home.”

  I nod, feeling I might just lose this battle. I might be asking for a lot. Forgiveness isn’t easy, but I’ll make sure we have a conversation about this at another time.

  A few minutes later, I’m back inside the car. We don’t talk at all on the way back to Braxton. He drops me outside of my apartment with a simple good-bye. I hurry upstairs, not even realising it’s nearly two a.m. Time has flown. Our apartment is in a complete mess and Dora is fast asleep on the couch with Jacob. I slip into my bedroom quietly, wondering if Oliver went straight back to Rhian. His simple gesture was romantic, but he hasn’t crossed any line. It was a small interaction between friends. We are never going to be more than that because we are too damaged. Our past is hunting us down, and we can’t forget about the monster that ruined everything. Christian wanted to destroy me from very beginning. He used Oliver; he used me and his own parents to get what he wanted. Can I move on? Can I really forget that terrible night at the party?

  Present

  “So… you and Oliver, huh? Who would have thought so?” asks Dora the next morning when I enter the living room. Surprisingly, she isn’t hung over like normal.

  “It wasn’t planned, in case you were wondering,” I say, putting all the food from yesterday into the fridge.

  “Come on, spill the beans. What did you guys do in the middle of the night?”

  “He took me out of town and showed me the meteor shower, and it was unbelievable,” I explain, still thinking about the previous night. Dora bites her lip and helps me with the plates.

  “What, like a shower of fallings stars?”

  “Yes, I think you can only see it twice a year, but yesterday, oh my God, it was just incredible. I’ve never seen anything like that.”

  “He took you to the middle of nowhere to watch the sky when it was minus five degrees outside? So did you guys do it at least, you know, to keep each other warm?”

  “You are out of your mind, Dora Roberts. Oliver and I are trying to be friends again. Besides, he has a girlfriend.”

  “So why
didn’t he bring her yesterday?”

  “I don’t know, Dora. Stop being obsessed with the idea there is something between us.”

  “Whatever. I know you too well to believe in your bullshit. I don’t think he was honest with Jacob when he said he didn’t love you anymore,” she says. “Oliver said he was done and now he’s playing a friend with that romantic trip. This doesn’t make any sense, India, and if you can’t see it, then you’re plain stupid.”

  We finish cleaning our apartment, arguing about my new “relationship” with Oliver. I feel terrible lying to her. There are times when I want to tell her everything. I felt so much better when I talked to Mrs. Morgan. It was as if I wasn’t drowning anymore. My best friend would understand; she would probably hate me because I kept it from her for so long. I’m going to tell her, but not now, not… not today.

  The next couple of weeks I feel like I’ve awakened from the most bizarre dream. I told one person, but I’ve hidden the truth from someone who deserves to know.

  People stare at me, but no one laughs anymore. I eat lunch with Oliver, Dora, and Jacob. Rhian doesn’t come in that often anymore. After the night of my birthday, Oliver and I talk more, but our past is still taboo. Russell keeps coming over, and I keep turning him down. He seems determined to take me out. He and Oliver don’t get on, and I don’t know the reason behind it.

  It seems as if Oliver put his cruelty behind him and we are working on being with each other. I feel like I’m riding a roller caster of emotions when I’m around him. He is my salvation and my gloom. He is everything I ever wanted.

  I still intend to go ahead with bringing him close to his mother again. Then, when our friendship is strong enough, I will explain everything. I have to be sure he has forgiven me completely and utterly. Oliver needs to see my transformation, that I’m not that silly girl anymore.

  My lectures throw me away from my thoughts until Friday evening. It’s been a hell of a week. I don’t even want to think about my coursework this weekend. Oliver is coming over in the evening and we’re all going out to the cinema. Rhian is coming along, and I just have to accept that she’s part of our pack.